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« Pardon Our Wardrobe Malfunction | Main | Warming the Cockles »
November 07, 2004

Let's Be Honest: The World Press Can Eat Our Shorts

"Bush Victory Infuriates World Press." Cry.

The Guardian sees through its effete British metrosexuality to actually get the message of the election:

"We may not like it. In fact, to tell the truth, we don't like it one bit. But if it isn't a mandate, then the word has no meaning. Mr. Bush has won fair (so far as we can see) and square. He and his country — and the rest of the world — now have to deal with it."

The Guardian still doesn't get that we don't care what they think.

Let me suggest that Guardian readers rent the funny-but-unsatisfying 1994 comedy Swimming with Sharks. America is Buddy Ackerman; European whining lefties are Guy the Intern.

Buddy: What I am concerned with is detail. I asked you go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low. You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that shit isn't going to work around here.

Guy: I, I just thought...

Buddy: You thought. Do me a fucking favor. Shut up, listen, and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't really know how things work around here, so I will tell you. You have no brain. No judgement calls are necessary. What you think means nothing. What you feel means nothing. You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want. And it's your responsibility to see that I get what I want.

Now get us our Sweet-N-Low, Nigel. Shut up, Listen, Learn.


Thansk to Alarming News, who puts part of the blame for Kerry's defeat at Michael Moore's feet (not that he's seen them since middle-school).

I don't know if that's quite right, but hey, it's fun to say.


posted by Ace at 04:29 PM
Comments



Every time America refuses to heed the foolish suggestions of the supposedly more enlightened international elites, my patriotism goes up a notch.

Despite the fact that I always thought this was the greatest country on Earth, I was nonetheless skeptical of the whole "American exceptionalism" theory. Not anymore.

My optimistic hopes for the next four years: Iraq becomes a reasonably functional democracy and Bush and the Congress impose broad market-based and "ownership society" domestic reforms.

If those things happen, and the US moves even farther away from the EU/UN model of governance, then I'll really be a true believer.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow on November 7, 2004 04:59 PM

Michael Moore caused Kerry to lose like flies cause garbage.

Posted by: Frank Villon on November 7, 2004 05:18 PM

The US has made awful mistakes in its short history- slavery, the virtual eradication of the original Native cultures- but we learn from our history.

Unlike the Europeans, for whom it's only been about- what? Less than ten years since the latest round of concentration camps sprouted up again in Europe? Did the Europeans, in their moral superiority, enlightenment and sophistication, put an end to these atrocities themselves?

I don' theenk so Lucy. They needed the help of backward rednecks from the US.

Damn creeping American Hegemony!
Talk to the hand, Europe.

Posted by: lauraw on November 7, 2004 06:21 PM

And Frank Villon: We would respect the opinion of the losing side .... why? But by all means, keep cheering for him - see what happens, again!!!

Posted by: Philip on November 7, 2004 06:55 PM

Philip: Please pull your head out of your ass with a resounding pop, you dimwit. I'm not cheering for Michael Moore or Kerry. If you had read any of my previous comments here, you would know that, instead of mouthing off at me when you don't know what the hell you're babbling.

All I said is that Michael Moore did not cause Kerry's loss. That's a fact. Michael Moore is nothing but an overbloated sack of shit, a lying, traitorous bastard. But that's not what caused Kerry to lose. You see, the Demented-crat Party, much like garbage, attracts spreaders of filth, much like flies. But the damned flies (i.e. Moore) did not cause the garbage (i.e Kerry and his supporters) that was already there.

Geez! After comments from people like Phil, I wonder if Ace ever feels like he's talking to 2 year olds with Down's Syndrome suffering from syphilitic insanity!

Posted by: on November 7, 2004 07:46 PM

P.S. The comment above is mine.

Frank Villon

Posted by: Frank Villon on November 7, 2004 07:50 PM

Kevin Spacey was great in that movie.

Posted by: Clark on November 7, 2004 11:52 PM

I get so tired of this nonsensical theme that "America is a young country." The name 'United States of America' has appeared on maps for a shorter time than those of other western nations but in terms of a sustained form of government that has never suffered a coup, been overthrown by a foreign invader, or undergone radical changes as it shifted from a monarchy to an increasingly democratic society, there is no Western nation older than the USA.

In the time since this nation was founded France has been a monarchy, a vicious self-destructive attempt at a democracy, which in turn led to its becoming an empire, being conquered by Germany, and becoming a soc1alist democracy that has toyed with communism ever since.

In the last century Germany, Spain, and Italy all played host to Fascist regimes. Various other parts of Europe turned commie and gave it up when it stop being fashionable on the runways of Moscow.

Is there a single other Western nation that can unbroken continuity of government since the USA began?

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on November 8, 2004 01:53 AM

note to self: don't fark with FV

Posted by: Seahay on November 8, 2004 09:18 AM

Nice call with the Swimming with Sharks reference.

Funny-yet-unsatisfying. Like a Zagnut.

Kevin Spacey = good. Frank Whaley = bad.

Whaley should've stuck with Career Opportunities 2.

Cheers,
Dave

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 8, 2004 10:12 AM

The Bush is a Moron meme has been abandoned in favor of the new improved V 2.0: The American People are Morons.
You don't get degrees from Yale and Harvard being a moron or re-elcted for that matter (unless you are a liberal Senator). Apparently you DO get to write for the Mirror, though.

I suspect the shallow gene pool in Europe has resulted in the overall lowering of IQs there. Old EUrope's mass delusion perhaps can best be explained in terms of genetic defects born of too much inbreeding.

After all, their royalty had a disturbing habit of being very inbred and we all know how the citizenry there loved to ape the aristocracy.

If anything, Old EUrope is more "red-neck, sister-marrying" than the most back-woods county in West Virginia.

Posted by: Joe Mama on November 8, 2004 03:13 PM
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