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November 05, 2004

Where's My Million Dollar Bush-Won Check?

As Chris Rock said, why were black people saying "We won, we won!" after OJ was acquitted? Did any of them receive their OJ check?

Well, there's no Bush check, either, except in the form of tax cuts, but since I make my living primarily by promoting illegal underground cockfighting exhibitions, I don't really pay any taxes anyway. So why the hell do I care?

I'm sure Bush and his family feel great. And understandably so. But why on earth should I?

I don't know why I should be happy. But I am. I really, really am. It may be irrational, but I feel better than when the New York Giants won the 1986 Superbowl and the Mets won the 1986 World Series, and that was pretty irrational, too.

KerrySpot sums it up:

To My Right-of-Center Readers: Don't you feel...just terrific?

Mrs. Kerry Spot — whose political views are not symmetrical with Mr. Kerry Spot's — has been relishing her consolation prizes: a box of truffles and an eerily calm husband.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine, why?"

"You just look so...relaxed. You're agreeable, pleasant, not distracted or stressed or snapping at people. I just haven't seen you this at ease in, like, six months."

Anybody else feel like a ten-ton weight has been lifted from his shoulders? Anybody else feel like every muscle had been tensed and clenched for about two months, and a steadily increasing vice-like pressure had been squeezing him, day by day, as the election approached? Just me? Boy, since that last debate, I just wanted the race to end. Just vote and get it over with.

If I'm feeling irrationally calm and contented, I guess I can kinda understand the lefties feeling irrationally angry and alienated.

Then again, I could still do without the talk of secession, political violence, and moving to Canada.


posted by Ace at 08:13 PM
Comments



As everyone knows, the Mets and Giants kick major ass, ergo your feeling was totally justified.

Why are we happy? Because we poured sweat and blood into this thing, and the positive outcome is a great relief.

I feel fatigued by this election myself. But I also feel a great relief, the relief of not having to follow the up to date political attacks that I felt compelled to follow before. I can just, rest, I guess.

Anyhow, my check from Satan is in the mail, for supporting Bush.

Posted by: Rob on November 5, 2004 08:21 PM

Worst part about the Canada talk - they are all lying.

Posted by: blaster on November 5, 2004 08:55 PM

Remember, while Kerry voters were voting against Bush, we were not only voting against Kerry but also against the Kerry supporters.

As the commercial goes...

Seeing Bush re-elected: (value of tax cut not rescinded).... Seeing the Bush haters humiliated: priceless.

Posted by: stevesturm on November 5, 2004 08:59 PM

The Fark.com threads on the Kerry concession were hilariously filled with 'moving to Canada' comments. Unfortunately, even Canada usually wants proof that a prospective citizen is likely to be at least somewhat productive. Putting down "Living in my mom's basement and doing GWB as a chimp photoshops all day" for your occupation is not a likely path to approval for you citizenship application.

Posted by: Hermit Dave on November 5, 2004 09:05 PM

I'm all for encouraging them to move to Canada. Hell, lets provide 1-way bus tickets at taxpayer expense if they are willing to renounce their citenship as they get on the bus!

Posted by: Lilly on November 5, 2004 10:28 PM

I am so happy, I am going to send you money. Consider it a Bush won check.

Posted by: Jake on November 5, 2004 10:53 PM

Well, that's pretty damn cool, I have to admit.

Posted by: ace on November 5, 2004 11:33 PM

"Then again, I could still do without the talk of secession, political violence, and moving to Canada."

I agree 100%. I want them to quit talking about moving to Canada and start the frickin' packin' of luggage. There's almost no border patrol so it's a free run to either Canada or Mexico. Quit your yapping and get to driving ya punk asses!!

It's called MapQuest(TM) and it'll help ya plan the shortest route, morons.

Posted by: Birkel on November 5, 2004 11:39 PM

Oh, I agree. I wouldn't mind the leaving; I'm just sick of the endless threats to do so.

It's the political equivalent of a teenager seeking attention by threating to "run away from home" because you wont' let them to go a Green Day concert without a chaperone.

At some point, you almost want to say, "All right, dear. Pack your bags; we're going to the Greyhound depot."

Posted by: ace on November 5, 2004 11:49 PM

Who needs a check when you get to see every self-righteou idiot you know cry and talk about moving to Canada?

Posted by: Moonbat_One on November 6, 2004 03:44 AM

I don't know, the feeling that America wasn't hurrying to commit suicide along with the rest of Western Civillization by embracing policies of appeasement and self-defeat seems like a reasonable reason my attitude is better now than last week.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on November 6, 2004 05:21 AM

They should move to Canada and hasten the erosion of the Dem base.
I have to admit, I too have that feeling of relief and calm. I felt that if Kerry won, the Norks and Iran would get the standard Dem 'patch job', only to secretly grow in power and erupt in catastrophe later.

And of course, by then a Republican would be in office again and be blamed for any attacks on our soil on his watch.

Also, the prospect of more commies in SCOTUS was pissing me off.

RE: your career, Ace- are you the one they call "The Don King of Cockfighting?" Impressive!

Posted by: lauraw on November 6, 2004 10:21 AM

If we'd lost I was seriously considering starting a secession movement. Now that we've won, I demand the left start one. Seriously though, how great would this country be if we just got rid of those weeping, whiney fools? I'm for giving them an equivalent area to the square mileage of the counties they won. Not counting that huge one in Arizona of course. Now we just have to decide where. How does everyone feel about northern Greenland?

Posted by: Kingslasher on November 6, 2004 10:23 AM

I'm not nearly as thrilled by the left's rendition of "the lamentations of the women" as I thought I'd be. While they made me angry and afraid of what they might do back when they had a chance to win, now they seem mostly irrelevant. There's not that much they can do to fuck with the president's pursuit of America's enemies for the next two years. The American people gave George Bush a free hand to kill fucking jihadi scum, and he is going to make good use of the offer. Furthermore, our enemies know this, and it has to make them tremble with fear.

The happiest thought I have as a result of the election is of thousands of jihadi assholes dreaming of Booosh in a fucking cowboy hat doing that squint he does, saying, "...comin' ta git ya!" and then waking up in mortal terror.

Posted by: DTLV on November 6, 2004 12:03 PM
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