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September 30, 2004
Breaking News: Apolitical Citizens Worry That John Kerry Will Raise Taxes to 90% on All Income Levels and Outlaw ChristianityI'm really concerned about this, and I just got an email about it getting me "all riled up." Tell your friends about this outrage so that CBS News will then "cover the worry that's out there" without disclosing that these worries are in fact without any substantiation whatsoever, and that, indeed, it seems to be hard-core Republicans entirely behind these rumors. I know CBS News will cover these worries o' mine, because they just assured Bill from INDC that partisanship had nothing at all to do with pushing the Democrats' attack-of-the-week about the draft. posted by Ace at 01:59 AM
CommentsWhat?! Ban Jesus?!? LIKE HELL!!! Posted by: Johnny Walker Red on September 30, 2004 02:46 AM
I worry about Kerry's threats of physical violence if the war doesn't end soon. A group of his distributed flyers a while ago that said this: IF YOU HAD BEEN VIETNAMESE--- We might have burned your house We might have shot your dog We might have shot you . . . We might have raped your wife and daughter We might have turned you over to your government for torture We might have taken souvenirs from your property We might have shot things up a bit . . . We might have done ALL these things to you and your whole TOWN! Anyone who would threaten ordinary citizens in this way needs to be stopped. The information is over 30 years old, but we know that's irrelevant to CBS. One thing this has over the CBS fakeries: the lines above came from a REAL document. Posted by: Dave Sheridan on September 30, 2004 04:55 AM
Ninety percent taxes AND no more Jesus! That man Kerry has got to be stopped! I am deeply worried. I can't eat, much. I plan to lie awake at nights, or maybe skip my nap. I'm so glad you put this information 'out there', Ace. It needs to be 'looked into' by 'professional journalists'. (Note to CBS: Even though I contributed to George Bush, I am an independant undecided swing voter available for interviews.) Posted by: lyle on September 30, 2004 06:06 AM
Where in Hell is the Siren on this story? Post one immediately please.... Posted by: Don Northrop on September 30, 2004 10:53 AM
As a very independent-minded Democrat, I'm concerned that Kerry would say such a thing. And I don't want anyone criticizing my independent-mindedness just because I happen to run a completely non-partisan group called Slavic Plumbers Against 90% Taxes and Outlawing Jesus. Posted by: Sobek on September 30, 2004 11:11 AM
This is a serious issue! George W. Bush, a concerned citizen, said "I go to bed every night, and I pray, and I actually get sick to my stomach. I'm very worried I'm scared. I'm absolutely scared, I'm petrified." Mr. Bush is a democrat, but will consider voting republican this year. "I'd vote for Howdy Doody if it would save the bible!", said Mr. Bush. Posted by: kevin on September 30, 2004 11:23 AM
I think I've seen several posted blog comments that Kerry intends to sterilize all Republican males within 30 days of his election. CBS: you need to broadcast this story...tell Gunga-Dan that "Kenneth" could be his primary source for this. Posted by: The Old Coot on September 30, 2004 11:29 AM
Ace, as I know you're a huge fan of Andrew Sullivan, I think you'll be interested in my comments on his latest antics here. I've come up with a great idea for how you can finally make the money you want from blogging. Posted by: Sobek on September 30, 2004 11:48 AM
I'm shocked, stunned, overwhelmed, scared, horrified, terrified, outraged, irate, confused, disombobulated, in despair and desperate (and linked). What are we going to do? Oh shit, my irritable bowel syndrome just kicked in. Posted by: Bohemian Conservative on September 30, 2004 01:15 PM
Sent an email to CBS Evening News asking that I be interviewed. After all, I've been lying awake all morning with an upset stomach after reading ALL the emails about the pending Kerry tax hike. Suddenly it dawned on me, the evening news is really a new comedy sketch, those clever guys! And all this time I was taking them seriously. :o) Posted by: GarandFan on September 30, 2004 01:17 PM
Sobek, fix your comments yet? Posted by: lauraw on September 30, 2004 04:07 PM
LauraW, I posted a comment on Haloscan's tech help board, and apparently that did the trick. By the time the techies looked at my blog, they couldn't find anything wrong. Posted by: Sobek on September 30, 2004 06:37 PM
Kerry wants 90 percent and all Bush wants is your first born son. I know who I'll choose. Posted by: Efuu on November 6, 2004 10:35 AM
What planet do all of you come from who have posted information on this site???? Crawl out of your holes and wake up! It is scary knowing people like you live in my country. Actually, it would probably be better to have you stay in your holes. Posted by: Normal Person on August 31, 2005 04:28 PM
At least none of us are posting moronic comments on a nearly one year old post. Posted by: Slublog on August 31, 2005 04:32 PM
Idiot, It was a parody post. I was making fun of CBS for reporting of alleged fears of citizens that Bush would reinstate the draft-- a fear just as illusory as Kerry raising taxes to 90%. Posted by: ace on August 31, 2005 04:37 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
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