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« More Iraq News | Main | Kerry Picks Gephardt »
July 06, 2004

New "Dr. Who" Series Will Not Feature Daleks

BBC Fails to Reach Terms With Daleks' Agent

Here's the weird thing: that headline isn't really a joke.

Seriously, the Daleks balked at appearing in the series, citing a disagreement over "editorial influence" over the series and especially the series' depiction of the Daleks.

As you well know, cybernetic life-forms are real bears on the issues of creative control.

And not only is that not a joke, but here's something else that isn't a joke: Part of the dispute stems from the Daleks' unhappiness at the BBC's attempts to produce a show about gay Daleks.


Exterminate, exterminate! Oh, and three Appletinis for myself and my club-mates Christopher and "Slam."

Top Ten Other Rejected Daleks Contractual Demands

10. Citing him as "creating a poisionous atmosphere for the creative process," protocol droid C-3PO barred from ever entering the set

9. Each Dalek must be supplied with his own luxury trailer during shooting, complete with entertainment center, foosball table, and "state-of-the-art facilities for live brain transplantations"

8. The BBC, on behalf of all humankind, agrees "in principle" that organic life is fundamentally inferior to "created life forms"

7. All Daleks must be supplied with an assortment of fresh citrus fruit and one (1) large bowl of M&M's with all of the brown ones taken out

6. The BBC must agree to produce and promote a Daleks album of classic pop-folk covers, to be called Feelin' Groovy: The Daleks Sing the Music of Simon & Garfunkel

5. The BBC agrees to run public-service announcements in support of the Daleks' goal of exterminating and/or enslaving all of humanity

4. The Daleks demand the BBC grant them a three-picture deal; the first film they plan is described as a "laugh-a-minute all-star racing picture" co-starring Dom DeLuise

3. The BBC must use "best business efforts" to assist in the Daleks' plot of replacing all world leaders with android doubles

2. 5% of the profits from the series must be invested in a new Michael Moore "documentary," tentatively titled The Timelords: Sinister Stormtroopers of Galactic Deceit and Evil

...and the Number One Rejected Dalk Contractual Demand...

1. The BBC agrees to run three "variety show" style televison specials starring the Daleks: A Very Daleks Christmas, Hangin' Wit' da Daleks, and You Puny Earthlings Have Precisely Five Seconds to Submit to Your Robotic Overlords (with special guest performance by Sheryl Crowe)


posted by Ace at 02:29 AM
Comments



Posted by: rdbrewer on July 6, 2004 09:55 AM

Gay Daleks? What the hell? I read the article you linked to, and it actually truly says that the BBC tried to create a program about gay Daleks. What in the hell is wrong with these people?

Posted by: House of Payne on July 6, 2004 10:14 AM

I always just assumed Daleks were gay.

Posted by: Ripper on July 6, 2004 11:10 AM

Dr. Who without Daleks is just brain-jarringly wrong. I mean, does the new crew really intend on flipping off the franchise's fan base? The Master could come and go ... knowing the Daleks were always out there, waiting in the wings, was my favorite thing. (Because the Daleks were so damn ridiculous. Just tip 'em over and let them howl 'exterminate' till the cows come home.)

Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin on July 6, 2004 11:24 AM

Ace,

LOL!

Great top ten list.

I read the article re: a cartoon...gay Daleks WTF???

Is is possible that the term gay here (not that there's anything wrong with it) meant "gay-happy?" and not "gay-gay?"

Just asking.

Posted by: MeTooThen on July 6, 2004 11:46 AM

It must mean 'gay-gay', since I'm pretty sure it's against International law to use the word 'gay' to mean happy (anymore).

Daleks have sex??!

Posted by: bkayel on July 6, 2004 02:29 PM

Of course Daleks have sex. That's what the plunger is for. Thanks, I'll be here all week.

Posted by: zetetic on July 6, 2004 04:01 PM

I can't really see the BBC having a problem with numbers 8, 5 and 2.

Posted by: DTLV on July 6, 2004 05:46 PM

Uh, Ace, you forgot two demands:

11. All stairs to be replaced by metal ramps and,

12. Jo Grant will be the Dalek's "personal attendant"

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on July 6, 2004 09:48 PM

I hate to speak this heresy in public, but...

The Goa'uld are way cooler villains than the Daleks.

I mean, staircases, people, staircases!

Posted by: someone on July 7, 2004 02:41 AM

Yeah, but Stargate SG-1 actually has a budget!

Posted by: zetetic on July 7, 2004 12:20 PM

The gay Daleks were a skit on a show called TV Offal by a very very funny man called Victor Lewis-Smith. The gay Daleks were basically uber-camp versions of the original, whizzing around making incredibly crude single entendres about buggery and saying things like, "you bitch!" in Dalek voices. At the end of the skit they'd do their standard insane 'exterminate!' except it was replaced with 'ejaculate!'

It was priceless.

Posted by: David Gillies on July 7, 2004 06:39 PM

"The Goa'uld are way cooler villains than the Daleks.

I mean, staircases, people, staircases!"

I disagree. Anyway, the Daleks can go upstairs- there's a little orange light thing underneath them that goes RRRRRRRR, and that lets them hover.

Posted by: on November 27, 2004 07:52 AM
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Candace Owens
@RealCandaceO

Because as I demonstrated on my show, there were MANY young men that all woke up and decided to dress in Maroon shirts and light shorts on the day of the Charlie's assassination.

The footage can be any one of these young men and in my opinion is likely multiple of them.

If Tyler Robinson's defense would like to contact me-- I'd be happy to supply them the folder of the maroon boys that I began archiving when I noticed the bizarre fashion trend.

I have thus far ID'd two of them, but will focus on IDing the rest of them when I am back on air.

I have maintained that the Feds had multiple decoy maroon boys on the ground that day. Without a clear image, they certainly cannot declare it is Tyler Robinson which is why all the Zionist influencers are hoping they can simply hypnotize the public into trusting blurry images and videos.
For such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination.
More "fedslop" that Cavernous Nostrils is too smart to be taken in by:

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@BlakeSNeff

BREAKING: Lance Twiggs says that Robinson admitted to him in-person on Sept. 11 that the message he had sent the night before (presumably, messages sent while he was trying to retrieve his rifle the night of Sept 10) was true. He says Robinson told him "He wishes he hadn't done it."
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@FenixAmmunition

Photos of the ammunition recovered from Tyler Robinson.

Remington headstamp on the case and despite the somewhat low resolution on the photo you can see the somewhat blunted nature of the projectile's tip.

This is a Remington Cor-Lokt soft point round. It's SPECIFICALLY designed to deform, slow down, and prevent an exit wound. Available at literally every single gun store and sporting goods store that sells ammunition.

In fact, 16 out of the 17 .30-06 varieties manufactured by Remington use some type of expanding, deforming, or fragmenting bullet. Only ONE of their products uses a full metal jacket projectile that could/would be expected to leave an exit wound.

Here's a clip of them sitting in my desk.

This has been the most easily debunked claim of their entire web of lies and it's really mind blowing considering this is exactly what you would choose for an assassination.

But yeah, definitely keep getting all your information from the DEI hire and the Portland pizza boy. I'm sure they know more about this than I do.

Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round.

Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
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