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July 06, 2004
New "Dr. Who" Series Will Not Feature DaleksBBC Fails to Reach Terms With Daleks' Agent Here's the weird thing: that headline isn't really a joke. Seriously, the Daleks balked at appearing in the series, citing a disagreement over "editorial influence" over the series and especially the series' depiction of the Daleks. As you well know, cybernetic life-forms are real bears on the issues of creative control. And not only is that not a joke, but here's something else that isn't a joke: Part of the dispute stems from the Daleks' unhappiness at the BBC's attempts to produce a show about gay Daleks.
Top Ten Other Rejected Daleks Contractual Demands 10. Citing him as "creating a poisionous atmosphere for the creative process," protocol droid C-3PO barred from ever entering the set 9. Each Dalek must be supplied with his own luxury trailer during shooting, complete with entertainment center, foosball table, and "state-of-the-art facilities for live brain transplantations" 8. The BBC, on behalf of all humankind, agrees "in principle" that organic life is fundamentally inferior to "created life forms" 7. All Daleks must be supplied with an assortment of fresh citrus fruit and one (1) large bowl of M&M's with all of the brown ones taken out 6. The BBC must agree to produce and promote a Daleks album of classic pop-folk covers, to be called Feelin' Groovy: The Daleks Sing the Music of Simon & Garfunkel 5. The BBC agrees to run public-service announcements in support of the Daleks' goal of exterminating and/or enslaving all of humanity 4. The Daleks demand the BBC grant them a three-picture deal; the first film they plan is described as a "laugh-a-minute all-star racing picture" co-starring Dom DeLuise 3. The BBC must use "best business efforts" to assist in the Daleks' plot of replacing all world leaders with android doubles 2. 5% of the profits from the series must be invested in a new Michael Moore "documentary," tentatively titled The Timelords: Sinister Stormtroopers of Galactic Deceit and Evil ...and the Number One Rejected Dalk Contractual Demand... 1. The BBC agrees to run three "variety show" style televison specials starring the Daleks: A Very Daleks Christmas, Hangin' Wit' da Daleks, and You Puny Earthlings Have Precisely Five Seconds to Submit to Your Robotic Overlords (with special guest performance by Sheryl Crowe) posted by Ace at 02:29 AM
CommentsPosted by: rdbrewer on July 6, 2004 09:55 AM
Gay Daleks? What the hell? I read the article you linked to, and it actually truly says that the BBC tried to create a program about gay Daleks. What in the hell is wrong with these people? Posted by: House of Payne on July 6, 2004 10:14 AM
I always just assumed Daleks were gay. Posted by: Ripper on July 6, 2004 11:10 AM
Dr. Who without Daleks is just brain-jarringly wrong. I mean, does the new crew really intend on flipping off the franchise's fan base? The Master could come and go ... knowing the Daleks were always out there, waiting in the wings, was my favorite thing. (Because the Daleks were so damn ridiculous. Just tip 'em over and let them howl 'exterminate' till the cows come home.) Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin on July 6, 2004 11:24 AM
Ace, LOL! Great top ten list. I read the article re: a cartoon...gay Daleks WTF??? Is is possible that the term gay here (not that there's anything wrong with it) meant "gay-happy?" and not "gay-gay?" Just asking. Posted by: MeTooThen on July 6, 2004 11:46 AM
It must mean 'gay-gay', since I'm pretty sure it's against International law to use the word 'gay' to mean happy (anymore). Daleks have sex??! Posted by: bkayel on July 6, 2004 02:29 PM
Of course Daleks have sex. That's what the plunger is for. Thanks, I'll be here all week. Posted by: zetetic on July 6, 2004 04:01 PM
I can't really see the BBC having a problem with numbers 8, 5 and 2. Posted by: DTLV on July 6, 2004 05:46 PM
Uh, Ace, you forgot two demands: 11. All stairs to be replaced by metal ramps and, 12. Jo Grant will be the Dalek's "personal attendant" Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on July 6, 2004 09:48 PM
I hate to speak this heresy in public, but... The Goa'uld are way cooler villains than the Daleks. I mean, staircases, people, staircases! Posted by: someone on July 7, 2004 02:41 AM
Yeah, but Stargate SG-1 actually has a budget! Posted by: zetetic on July 7, 2004 12:20 PM
The gay Daleks were a skit on a show called TV Offal by a very very funny man called Victor Lewis-Smith. The gay Daleks were basically uber-camp versions of the original, whizzing around making incredibly crude single entendres about buggery and saying things like, "you bitch!" in Dalek voices. At the end of the skit they'd do their standard insane 'exterminate!' except it was replaced with 'ejaculate!' It was priceless. Posted by: David Gillies on July 7, 2004 06:39 PM
"The Goa'uld are way cooler villains than the Daleks. I mean, staircases, people, staircases!" I disagree. Anyway, the Daleks can go upstairs- there's a little orange light thing underneath them that goes RRRRRRRR, and that lets them hover. Post a comment
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Update to the video of a Russian soldier being spun around and thrown by the machinegun he was operating: The soldier was testing an old, archaic Russian machinegun intended to be mounted to a helicopter. The old gun was pressed into service as a possible anti-drone gun. The Russian army is generally depleted and being forced to bring a lot of old, unreliable weapons and platforms to the front.
Also: Ukranian drones have
Top Men!
FDA is providing an update regarding the sample of lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms de Mexico which was reported positive on July 18, 2026. Due to the complexity in detection of Cyclospora, FDA laboratory experts re-reviewed the sample results and have concluded that the finding does not represent true amplification and should be considered a false positive. Information about the sample has been removed from the July 18, 2026, update below. FDA has notified Taylor Farms and continues working with the firm to ensure product implicated in this outbreak has been removed from the market. FDA and state partners continue to collect and analyze product samples. As of July 19, 2026, there are no confirmed positive sample results for product testing for Cyclospora.[CBD]
FEDERAL APPEALS COURT STRIKES DOWN
NJ "ASSAULT WEAPONS" BAN/MAGAZINE BAN! Let's see if it reverts to the previous 15 round limit or I can actually run my weapons as God intended! [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Northern Lights Division
Our topic today is music That's right, like 'Cause my brother and I are now experts in the field, eh Yeah, right, 'cause we're a band now Uh, yeah, so Except for him, I'm a band Aw, how can you do that? You're making me look bad You're such a Hosehead
CNBC ranks Tennessee as dead last in its “Worst States to Live” analysis. The specific reason is that cross-dressing men in TN are denied access to children and women’s private spaces. Texas finished 49th. The “worst” states were all red states. [Buck]
Senator Lindsey Graham (R - SC) has died after a "brief and sudden illness." [Buck]
The "Evel Knievel Experience," a museum dedicated to the famous daredevil, opens in (where else) Las Vegas
Well I guess they could have opened it on the Snake Canyon.
In response to someone asking why the video tape doesn't show Tyler Robinson's face (PS, it does, but it's crappy video so it's blurry):
Candace OwensFor such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination.
More "fedslop" that Cavernous Nostrils is too smart to be taken in by:
Blake Neff Fenix Ammunition Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round. Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
And a song with another song as an intro, too: Be it sight, sound, smell, or touch There's something Inside that we need so much The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound Or the strength of an oak with roots deep in the ground The wonder of flowers to be covered and then to burst up Thru tarmac, to the sun again Boy do they look like absolute dorks. Recent Comments
Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon:
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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