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June 21, 2004

Industrial Production Index Tops Clinton's Eight-Year Peak

While the media's been busy boycotting the boom, it turns out that industrial activity has now zoomed past the highest point achieved during Clinton's "Miracle Economy":

The industrial production index, which measures the physical output of the nation’s mines, factories, and utilities, has surpassed the Clinton-era peak of June 2000, according to a Federal Reserve report released this week. The index topped at 116.373 under Clinton. The May 2004 reading (116.947) was the 20th monthly increase since the index hit its trough (109.108) in December 2001.

Terrific news-- our burgeoning industrial output has actually helped eased the price of cowbells. Although I've had to wait weeks for it (there is a large back-order), I can finally offer some small cowbell.

The cowbell should be big based on this news, but this is the best I can manage. Cowbell factories are currently more overworked than the world-famous Nog mines of Pennsylvania during the high-demand Christmas eggnog season.


posted by Ace at 06:09 PM
Comments



Ace, if you weren't such an evil, Bush-loving/baby-hating murderous Jew lover, you'd see that this "boom" is based entirely on increased military demand, which has kicked our economy into high gear. In other words, all of those numbers you quote are soaked in innocent blood and guilty oil.

Dude, it is frightening how easy it is to spew the kind of mindless liberal rhetoric I just wrote. I'd better stop the parody before my brain turns to mush.

Posted by: Aaron on June 21, 2004 06:20 PM

Yeah, but at the Nog mines they're able to meet demand because of a strong, Judeo-Christian work ethic. People work double and triple time with dual noggers to get the job done. I can't say the same for the cowbell factories.

Posted by: rdbrewer on June 21, 2004 06:59 PM

God bless the cowbell makers!

Posted by: Da Goddess on June 21, 2004 11:07 PM

Not to undermine Ace's statement, but natural Nog hasn't been dug in any significant commercial quantity in years.
You've been drinking modern, synthetic Nog all this time, and haven't noticed the difference.

Ain't technology great.

Posted by: lauraw on June 22, 2004 02:26 PM

I don't want to get into a big argument over the Nog industry, but as I have worked a great deal with Nog in my life, I will say you just don't know what you're talking about.

Although there is of course a synthetic nog industry, most nog consumed today is the same nog that was consumed 100 years ago, a naturally-occuring mineral deposit processed and refined with Boron to deliver that delicious Christmassy, Boron-charged flavor.

Posted by: ace on June 22, 2004 02:58 PM
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