I just flew in from D.C. and man is my anus tired. Look out!

Damn! I forgot that one!

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Buddhist walk into a bar. Within five minutes, they're all taking turns pounding me in the crapper.

Thank you!

Anal jokes aren't funny? But . . . but . . . but . . . but . . . [ad infinitum]

still better than Margaret "The Mandarin Manatee" Cho

I just went on a ride. Butt Pirates of the Caribbean.

badabing

I wonder what Denton really thinks of Wonko. Cox has a pretty impressive resume -- executive editor of Suck, for one thing, which was always an interesting read -- and Denton's other blogs are all fun and engaging, so it's hard for me to believe that this is what he had in mind when he hired her.

No doubt the publicity from the Washingtonienne thing makes the pill easier to swallow.

Allah, what the heck are you doing on this blog, when, with all due respect to the Creator of Worlds, you really ought to be photoshopping on your own? You're the reason I started reading blogs in the first place. Well, Neal Boortz' link to your blog is actually the reason.

You're killing me, Ace.

Aaron--Thanks, but I'm too bummed about too many things these days to muster content that isn't unpleasantly angry. I'd just as soon spare you guys the bile.

. . . Although, since you mention it, I did have an idea for a 'Shop this afternoon. The glut of hyper-treacly blog tributes to Reagan has pushed me to the fucking brink, and no doubt we'll be getting another snoutful tomorrow now that Ray Charles has gone and bought it. So I was going to do an image of Reagan and Ray sitting together at a piano in heaven with all clouds and flowers and shit around them, and I was going to erase Ray's shades and replace them with some eyes. Then I was going to have him say, "I can read the music!" and Reagan would be saying, "I can remember the lyrics!", and at the bottom of the photo, in the fanciest, fruitiest fucking scripty font you've ever seen, I was going to title it "Jammin' in Heaven". It would have been funny to see the reactions, 'cause undoubtedly some people would have taken it seriously and found it rilly rilly moving. Alas, I couldn't find suitable photos of R and R to splice together.

Seriously, I love Reagan as much as the next right-winger but people need to dial it down. I read more than one post today by bloggers who claim to have stood in their living rooms while the coffin was being carried up the Capitol steps. I mean, dude.

Allah needs a percocet, a drinky and a nappy.

All this mass tribute is putting the liberal rage-o-meter into the red zone and on the verge of spectacular meltdown.

How can that not please thee?

I know what you mean, Allah. It's very touching and encouraging that so many care about the former President. And I'm delighted at how angry it makes the left. But Mr. Reagan himself was extremely humble and focused on the needs of others. He probably would have been a little embarrassed--though honored, I'm sure--at all the lavish attention and tributes.

That photoshop idea actually sounds pretty funny. I'm a pianist and Ray is one of my favorite guys. I think they probably would have been the kind of guys to hang out together if they had ever really gotten the chance.

All of the pomp and circumstance for Reagan's funeral may seem overblown, but take a step back and ponder the influence the man had on the last century....read that again CENTURY...and the attention/focus seems about right.

Moreover, from a strictly historical point of view, we may never see such true heartfelt emotion/outpouring for a President in our lifetimes.

Obviously, it goes without saying that Clinton will NEVER receive such affection from the Public (the Press, sure, but not the masses).

Carter's followers could congregate in the phone booth located at the intersection of Wisconsin and M Street. And they would still have room for more...

Ford? (exactly...historical footnote)

Bush I...a man with an incredible resume and contributions to this country (WWII, politician, CIA head, POTUS) but more time is needed to cement his standing...plus Bush II's presence is preventing the settling of the dust on his father's legacy.

So, if the current (and future) Presidents happily grey into old age....this could be the last major state funeral (not to be morbid, but it is fascinating) that many in this generation will ever witness.

In addition, many of us can state that we remember things before, during, and after Reagan. And we are grateful that he changed the course of history.

Forever.

Hmm...more butt-lovin' fun from Ace. I'm sensing a theme here.

You're right about all that, sonof. I guess the two things that are starting to bother me are:

1) People are mostly just repeating the same things about Reagan over and over. I agree with all of those things, of course, but there's only so many times you can say them.

2) A lot of what goes on in certain media outlets looks more like pandering than real feeling. Maybe this is just me, though.

There is far too much talent on this blog to hide it 'behind' this kind of 'bile.' What would Reagan write if he had a blog?

I will never again drink water while reading Ace of Spades.

I am only grateful the resulting spray missed the keyboard altogether.

heh heh *** ba dum .. bump ***

The wall-to-wall Reagan coverage has been a bit much.

I think we can all agree that

a) The coverage has been a tad excessive, and

b) the liberal bed-wetting over the excessive coverage more than makes up for it. If I had a blog I would not have done more than one post (I'm too young to have anything substantive to contribute, and nobody needs another parrot), but every day we're hearing about Reagan when it's no longer news is better than a day of hearing about Abu Ghraib when it's no longer news.

The liberal bedwetting you describe is so delightful, so satisfying-

All of this- the heartfeld eulogies, two hundred-thousand ordinary citizens paying their respects, the endless retrospectives and notable quotes....

It all conveys to the liberals what failures they have been. They have been trying to bend this culture for over 50 years...and here we are engaged in full worship of a Conservative icon.

It was probably Reagan's wish to be cloistered for the end of his years, and a very wise decision it was. I'm glad we were spared the view of him in his most pathetic and enfeebled state; imagine what jokes his enemies would have made at his expense, and how sad his legacy would have been, instead of triumphant.

Ace,

Ms. Cox (in the anus) will probably nnot read this, and if she did would probably just be dismissive, but as for this reader, your point is spot on. I enjoyed when she started because not EVERYTHING was poorly crafted sexual innuendos. But it's like the slutty girl in school, once she starts down that road, the only way to keep the attention coming is to go farther and farther.

It's a ratchet effect. The sad part is, she has a decent understanding of comic situations when she's not obseesing about 8th grade sexual jokes.

Allah,

Your p-shop idea would be sweet if you could pull it off. Wondering if you saw the frontline last night about Abdurahman Khadr? Enough to make one understand how even those on our side could have trouble with the constant pressure. Worry not. There are those who appreciate you without you having to become, as Wonkette has, a self-parody. I can understand also how certain other forums have gotten a little hard for you to deal with (but thankfully not Ace's here).

Escpecially satisfying is hearing liberal media icons expressing their dismay at the extent of the coverage. "Hey," they whine, "Reagan's death is more than two days old. It's no longer news. We need to get back to Abu Ghraib, which is always fresh, interesting, and never gets redundant, even when we mention it in conenction with a story on, say, the rising price of milk."

Sorry, liberal media. You have my sympathies during what must be a very hard time for you.

Talk about your non-sequiturs here, folks. From Anal Marie to the liberal media whining about excessive coverage of the Gipper. Pretty rich.

Anyhoo, everything will be back to normal come Monday. Reagan will still be dead (God bless him), the media will resume their gay prison porn obsession, and Wonkette will still be talking about...well, you know.

Now, all that has to happen to get the world right again is to get Allah out of his funk and back to some righteous p'shoppin. C'mon, Creator of Worlds, Ace has been carrying the load mightily but we need some A double lizzle, no shizzle.

And, Ace, you're on a roll, man. You keep this up and I smell Instalanch. I mean, c'mon, you've got droll commentary, devoted visitors, obligatory ass-fucking references, all the guys get shirts, oh, and, cowbell. It's almost like when you move you slice like a fuckin' hammer. What's not to link, I ask. What's not to link?

Grok on, dude!