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January 21, 2006
That chick who had the face transplant is using new lips to smokeAll she's been longin' for since the dog-maulin' is a long, hard suck....from a cigarette: The world's first face-transplant patient is using her new lips to smoke cigarettes, alarming the French surgical team that performed the pioneering surgery in November. Sources say 'Isabelle' also plans on using her new lips to ask her slimy ex-boyfriend to return her Jerry Lewis DVD collection. [Guest-blogger Feisty, ardent practitioner of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM), can be found here, yo.] posted by Feisty at 07:27 PM
CommentsHey, when ya gotta smoke, ya gotta smoke, yannow? Posted by: CraigC on January 21, 2006 07:33 PM
Oh, and hello, gorgeous. Posted by: CraigC on January 21, 2006 07:34 PM
Hellllooooo my hot, muscular readers. I dunno, I guess I'd forgo the smoke if it was going to make make my face rot off, but, I'm not French. Posted by: Feisty on January 21, 2006 07:39 PM
Hellllooooo my hot, muscular readers. Hey! I'm here too! [hint: to include BrewFan you need something along the lines of "Hellloooo my more mature, slightly paunchy but otherwise nice readers"] Posted by: BrewFan on January 21, 2006 07:43 PM
Wow, that chick sounds kinda... feisty. With a Frenchy, feisty way of doing things. Like knocking you completely unconscious with the smell/sight of her pit odor/underarm thatch milliseconds before the force of her unseen/unanticipated open-palmed-with-sharpened-and-slighty-curved-fingernails-immediately-following roundhouse slap shocks your face with daggers of flamey, adrenalin-boiling, electric pain. Yeah, one of THOSE kinda chicks... Posted by: Dogstar on January 21, 2006 07:44 PM
Actually, you had us at "suck". Posted by: All The Guys on January 21, 2006 07:46 PM
The article didn't mention she has already gone back to her old job - you can see her in Parisian Bukkake #5. Posted by: steve_in_hb on January 21, 2006 07:47 PM
Ok, Brewfan: HELLLLLOOOOO all readers of every shape and size! Suck. Suck. Suck. Long. Hard. Suck. Sorry, I'm getting ready to hit the bar in a couple of hours, so I'm getting myself all 'fired up'. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Posted by: Feisty on January 21, 2006 07:54 PM
Oh my. I don't have to use my coupon for that, do I? Posted by: BrewFan on January 21, 2006 07:56 PM
In my experience a bar is the method used to get the girl to suck suck suck. I didn't believe the process could be reversed. Posted by: steve_in_hb on January 21, 2006 07:57 PM
Dang Feisty. You and I should go out! We'd rule. And the face transplant chick, she sucks but probably does not swallow. Posted by: KevlarChick on January 21, 2006 08:04 PM
From reading the article, Kevlar-darling, it appears she spits it right back out. The smoke, that is. Uppity little French chick. Posted by: Feisty on January 21, 2006 08:07 PM
Yeah, those uppity French bukkake chicks. They don't swallow and all they do is cry. WAAAAH! Fiesty, do you need one of our white-hot thugs here at AoS to act as your butler tonight? Sounds like you might need someone to uh, back you up. Second thought, maybe not... Posted by: KevlarChick on January 21, 2006 08:15 PM
What in the hell is diversity? Is it like an old wooden ship? From the Civil War? Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 21, 2006 08:15 PM
Dave in Texas , Do you need to consult Strunk, Funk, and the dirty little Punk on that vocabulary word "diversity?" I'll tell ya what it means, my white-hot man. It means NO French chicks for YOU! They won't be able to handle your, um, diversity. Posted by: KevlarChick on January 21, 2006 08:32 PM
well, voulez vous couchet avec dang, god-dang. s'ok. I prefer American Ladies™ Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 21, 2006 08:54 PM
Fucking fwench. Posted by: Uncle Jefe on January 21, 2006 09:02 PM
She got herself a facelift Posted by: spurwing plover on January 21, 2006 11:06 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason. Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD]
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
Georgia moves to drop the corrupt Fulton county prosecution of Trump for "election rigging" or whatever bullshit the adulteress Fani Willis claimed
This may be the last we hear of Big Fani and Darrius "Sweetdick" Honeycum, Esq.
Escaped "SlenderMan Stabber" picked up with her "transgender" friend
We're increasingly loose with the word "transgender" aren't we? Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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