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« Brass Ones | Main | Kerry at Kos? »
January 21, 2006

That chick who had the face transplant is using new lips to smoke

All she's been longin' for since the dog-maulin' is a long, hard suck....from a cigarette:

The world's first face-transplant patient is using her new lips to smoke cigarettes, alarming the French surgical team that performed the pioneering surgery in November.

The toxins in the cigarette smoke could impair blood circulation vital to the fragile, newly transplanted facial skin, taken from a brain-dead donor, her doctors said Wednesday.

Smoking also could trigger yet another episode of skin rejection for the 38-year-old Frenchwoman, a former smoker who resumed the unhealthful habit within a month of getting her new face.

Traumatically mutilated in a mauling by a dog last June, the woman lost the lower half of her face, leaving her unable to swallow, chew or speak. Those functions are returning now, along with sensation, in the transplanted nose, lips and chin.

Sources say 'Isabelle' also plans on using her new lips to ask her slimy ex-boyfriend to return her Jerry Lewis DVD collection.

[Guest-blogger Feisty, ardent practitioner of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM), can be found here, yo.]


posted by Feisty at 07:27 PM
Comments



Hey, when ya gotta smoke, ya gotta smoke, yannow?

Posted by: CraigC on January 21, 2006 07:33 PM

Oh, and hello, gorgeous.

Posted by: CraigC on January 21, 2006 07:34 PM

Hellllooooo my hot, muscular readers.

I dunno, I guess I'd forgo the smoke if it was going to make make my face rot off, but, I'm not French.

Posted by: Feisty on January 21, 2006 07:39 PM

Hellllooooo my hot, muscular readers.

Hey! I'm here too!

[hint: to include BrewFan you need something along the lines of "Hellloooo my more mature, slightly paunchy but otherwise nice readers"]

Posted by: BrewFan on January 21, 2006 07:43 PM

Wow, that chick sounds kinda... feisty.

With a Frenchy, feisty way of doing things.

Like knocking you completely unconscious with the smell/sight of her pit odor/underarm thatch milliseconds before the force of her unseen/unanticipated open-palmed-with-sharpened-and-slighty-curved-fingernails-immediately-following roundhouse slap shocks your face with daggers of flamey, adrenalin-boiling, electric pain.

Yeah, one of THOSE kinda chicks...

Posted by: Dogstar on January 21, 2006 07:44 PM

Actually, you had us at "suck".

Posted by: All The Guys on January 21, 2006 07:46 PM

The article didn't mention she has already gone back to her old job - you can see her in Parisian Bukkake #5.

Posted by: steve_in_hb on January 21, 2006 07:47 PM

Ok, Brewfan: HELLLLLOOOOO all readers of every shape and size!

Suck. Suck. Suck. Long. Hard. Suck.

Sorry, I'm getting ready to hit the bar in a couple of hours, so I'm getting myself all 'fired up'.

Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck.

Posted by: Feisty on January 21, 2006 07:54 PM

Oh my. I don't have to use my coupon for that, do I?

Posted by: BrewFan on January 21, 2006 07:56 PM

In my experience a bar is the method used to get the girl to suck suck suck. I didn't believe the process could be reversed.

Posted by: steve_in_hb on January 21, 2006 07:57 PM

Dang Feisty. You and I should go out! We'd rule.

And the face transplant chick, she sucks but probably does not swallow.

Posted by: KevlarChick on January 21, 2006 08:04 PM

From reading the article, Kevlar-darling, it appears she spits it right back out. The smoke, that is.

Uppity little French chick.

Posted by: Feisty on January 21, 2006 08:07 PM

Yeah, those uppity French bukkake chicks. They don't swallow and all they do is cry. WAAAAH!

Fiesty, do you need one of our white-hot thugs here at AoS to act as your butler tonight? Sounds like you might need someone to uh, back you up. Second thought, maybe not...

Posted by: KevlarChick on January 21, 2006 08:15 PM

What in the hell is diversity?

Is it like an old wooden ship? From the Civil War?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 21, 2006 08:15 PM

Dave in Texas ,

Do you need to consult Strunk, Funk, and the dirty little Punk on that vocabulary word "diversity?"

I'll tell ya what it means, my white-hot man. It means NO French chicks for YOU! They won't be able to handle your, um, diversity.

Posted by: KevlarChick on January 21, 2006 08:32 PM

well, voulez vous couchet avec dang, god-dang.

s'ok. I prefer American Ladies™

Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 21, 2006 08:54 PM

Fucking fwench.
You'd think that they would consider smoking a sign of success, considering how much the EUnuchs smoke.
However, they've said that they'll consider this 'faceplant' a triumph when the woman can say the word 'surrender'.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on January 21, 2006 09:02 PM

She got herself a facelift

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 21, 2006 11:06 PM
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