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January 08, 2006
On Infantry ArmorI've long wondered: I understand that normal troops cannot be issued head-to-toe bomb-squad-type armor for reasons of cost, comfort, and mobility. But what about specialty troops? I'm thinking primarily of shock-troopers -- or stormtroopers, if you will -- tasked with house-to-house fighting. Obviously, these guys would not be very mobile, but their mobility could be enhanced by having them mainly scoot around in armored infantry carriers where the streets permitted it, and on trikes where the streets were too narrow, carrying heavy weaponry in carts. They'd ride as much as possible, march and run as little as they could manage. They'd have to rest a lot, I'd imagine, but it would pretty demoralizing for an enemy to face a group of shock-troops that were all but invulnerable to handheld weaponry. I imagine the more confident a soldier is about his chances of surviving a hit with a bullet, the more likely he is to fire like a madman at enemy soldiers. As the juggernaut corps cleared an area, normally-equipped soldiers would secure the area, let the juggernauts rest (or perhaps swap armor with them, so the fresher troops would then take the next lead, and the tired guys who were just in the armor could armor-down and take the less demanding task of securing the area they just cleared). This is almost certainly a very naive question. I'm sure the military has discounted this sort of thing for one reason or another. Still, as someone who really doesn't know anything about fighting or armor or fighting in armor, I'm not sure of the actual reasons for not having such equipment and troops trained to fight in very heavy armor for short durations. Can anyone enlighten? What's wrong with this idea? The Armor Singularity? Bullington tips that In ten years, the armed forces hopes to have a more effective battlesuit that will weight 50 pounds rather than 120. It involves (GIVE ME THE INSTALANCHE!) nanotech fabrics, apparently. Okay, maybe, in 10 years. But what about right now? We already have very survivable armor; it's just not suitable for all-purpose use. But what about very specialized uses, like clearing out the toughest parts of a terrorist-rich Fallujah neighborhood? I understand the problems with heat and exhaustion. But can't these be reduced in intensity by having two teams leap-frogging past each other, then resting? And letting them drive just about everywhere, except when they actually have to enter a house? Again, this would be a specialty, heavy-armor unit. We have specialty troops for all sorts of purposes. Why not for this one? posted by Ace at 12:46 PM
CommentsHeavy armor in 120 degree heat over rocky terrain. Have you been drinking? Plus, how does that protect one from mines? Posted by: shawn on January 8, 2006 12:49 PM
I'm talking about brief actions in house-to-house fighting. I'm not talking about having these guys have this armor on all the time. They would put it on just before they're about to enter combat. As for the heat-- again, part of the idea is giving them LOTS of machines to move them around, as well as their armor. Keep them off their feet as much as possible. You could even have a refrigerator on a cart to fill the armor with cool air periodically. Not a perfect solution, but enough to cool them down for a bit. Posted by: ace on January 8, 2006 12:54 PM
Hmm, interesting idea, though I'm not sure if I'd want to ride a trike ;) We already have a wonderful vehicle to get us up close to buildings before clearing them : the M2 series Bradley. It wasn't designed for warfare in dense urban areas, but it acquitted itself well (see Sadr City April 04-Oct 04). What makes the Bradley so good in close urban terrain? First, its armor makes anything short of an armor-piercing RPG useless. Second it's not so big that it can't move down most streets. And, if it needs to turn around quickly, it's a tracked vehicle (unlike the Stryker) and can pivot itself without any forward or backward movement. Third, the superior thermal sights on the Brad can let the gunner see everything. Trust me, these sights are the shiznit. Fourth, the weapons on the Brad work well in this terrain : a 7.62mm MG and a 25mm cannon (which can fire high-explosive rounds). I only wish they'd make a modification to the smoke dischargers to allow them to fire flechette (like the old assault mortars on the German Mk VI Tiger). Lastly, the Brad can comfortably carry five fully equipped men - double that number for short trips. Combining your "shock trooper" idea with the delivery vehicle we already have might work. I'd have to hit the gym a bit more to wear a blast suit, but hey, not getting shot is cool! Posted by: File Closer on January 8, 2006 01:00 PM
PS: One thing the Brad needs is a fucking AC unit. That is all. Posted by: File Closer on January 8, 2006 01:03 PM
Ace, If the Army's "Future Warrior" technologies work as intended, new nanotech fabrics will provide the protection you're thinking about--without the weight of body armor. The first phase of the Future Warrior system is scheduled for 2010. http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jul2004/n07272004_2004072705.html Posted by: Bullington on January 8, 2006 01:12 PM
In order to get full protection from a reasonalble range of handheld weapons the soldier would have to be encased in a medival style suit of armor made of ceramic plate. Kevlar could be used to handle the joints (it won't stop rifle rounds though) but that sets up weak points a smart or lucky enemy can exploit. There are serious problems with this kind of unpowered armor system, and they've been with us since the beginning of the eternal armor vs bullet battle. Mobility would be the largest initial concern. A soldier could not go for cover or easily climb around obstacles, not to mention they'd have to spend their time widening any doors they hope to go through by a foot. Even with vehicles to assist, these shock troops would not have an easy time of getting around, and once off of their mounts would be extremely vulnerable to being swarmed by jackasses with knives. Overheating and exhaustion would be next greatest concern, unless the armor suits had some kind of powered cooling system. That might buy you a few minutes, but the sheer weight of the whole thing plus whatever other supplies the soldier would have to carry would tire even a SEAL. If you want a good idea of what the storm troopers like to wear for protection while doing their storming take a look at the Delta Force guys (Black Hawk Down did a good job at hinting to the armor issue from the fighter's POV) who live by the principle that speed is its own armor. Even if it's extremely short term, as you've speculated, the unpowered suit just doesn't seem to be worth the trade-off for mobility. Posted by: Nuclear Siafu on January 8, 2006 01:23 PM
We don't have the technology for this right now (or we do, but it's still in the lab). Briefly: you need active armor that undergoes state-changes -- piezoelectric ceramic, certain carbon polymers, even an aerogel substance. The problem is that for every armor you can devise, there's a countermeasure to defeat it. With current body armor, we have protection against small-arms rounds and shrapnel. Rifle rounds can penetrate, and they do little to protect against explosions. The military is actually trying to get away from the idea of "pervasive armor" as a force-protection mechanism (see the Future Combat Systems link I provided in the previous thread). The idea is not to survive getting hit; the idea is not to get hit in the first place. That's why most of the R&D these days is going into "networked warfare" and "battlespace control". The idea is that you make every troop a node in a large and highly-parallelized network; that way, you are rarely taken by surprise and consequently you can engage your enemy from standoff positions where your armor doesn't need to be as robust. Plus, the US military has the best close-air support and combined-arms tactics of any military in the world -- our troops can depend on precision firepower against a multitude of threats, so they are able to bring more to the fight than just themselves. I think the biggest need among the infantry right now is not body-armor, but better weapons: our current combat arms (M16A2 and the 9mm Beretta sidearm) are just too weak for the one-shot stops that we need in this kind of fighting. I've heard that the Army might go back to the venerable .45 Colt, or to a new 10mm pistol. In infantry fighting, the old saw is still true: the best defense is a good offense. Armor will always have a place, but US doctrine will (rightly, I think) focus more on mobility and lethality than up-armoring. Posted by: Monty on January 8, 2006 01:24 PM
The problem isn't mobility getting to the battle, it's mobility in the midst of battle. Mobility is most important when the action starts. If someone is weighed down by too much equipment, no matter what it is, they move too slowly and are too vulnerable. Increasing armor is a distinct tradeoff: you are less likely to die if you're shot, but the increased weight drastically increases your chance of being shot. Meanwhile, it also makes you more vulnerable to things like grenades, which can hit you with shrapnel where the armor ain't. Posted by: Steven Den Beste on January 8, 2006 01:32 PM
As has been stated by others it's always a trade off between mobility and protection. By becoming less mobile, they increase the amount of time they are targets and give the enemy more time to take you out. Just standing there covered in all that stuff hurts at those temperatures, even if you do have something carrying you everywhere. It hurts to breathe with that much shit on. Posted by: brett on January 8, 2006 01:42 PM
Given Steven's love of anime, maybe he can help me here: wasn't there some Japanese manga/anime series awhile back about a full-body armor-suit? They even made a (crappy) live-action movie out of it later. I want to say Gundam Wing, but I don't think that's it.... Posted by: Monty on January 8, 2006 01:46 PM
Ace, it isn't that the guys in the DOD working on this stuff haven't read their Heinlein and such, it's that this is real life. Hard realities keep creeping in. They are trying. There have been plenty of lab demos of interesting technological improvements for improving battlefield survivability but... major BUT here, vast numbers of great lab demos never become viable products or do so only after decades of slow refinements. There are all too often reliability issues or bugs that could be easily exploited. The battlefield equivalent of a single-day exploit means a lot of dead or maimed soldiers. soldiers are under these threats already but at least are trained to best handle the known behavior of their equipment. Any great improvements that are ready to go from lab to field testing today will still take years typically to reach the guys in hot zones because nobody there wants to be a beta tester on top of everything happening to them. Posted by: epobirs on January 8, 2006 01:46 PM
I touch on this tangentially. We are doing things that increase the overall armor capability of the individual soldier. Using just the reasoning you discuss. Even though it's available, the troops in the field just aren't clamoring for it. The comments are along "well that's nice, but it weighs how much ??" Rusty Posted by: Rusty Mouse on January 8, 2006 02:01 PM
wasn't there some Japanese manga/anime series awhile back about a full-body armor-suit? It's kind of a staple in anime (a sub-genre known as mecha). There are bio-armor suits and giant mechas, as well as normal-sized suits, as in Macross. Gundams are super-sized versions. Posted by: geoff on January 8, 2006 02:03 PM
While heavy armor might block small arms fire at close range, the kind of protection to make someone invulnerable would be impossible to fight in. In normal suits, a shot to the arm or leg can take someone out of a fight. Armoring up everything would weight hundreds of pounds and have no flexibility, and armoring up the torso and head would just make them harder to rescue when they are wounded. Secondly, flexibility and speed is important because hand-to-hand combat has never disappeared from the battlefield. If you can't move and fight, all the armor in the world won't save you from some guy with a knife and some determination. In house-to-house storming, booby traps and hand to hand would be impossible to beat with that kind of restriction. I'm all for armor, but we can't do it right now. Kevlar doesn't block rifle rounds, and ceramic inserts to do it are too heavy. Posted by: Nibbles on January 8, 2006 02:04 PM
Heh. The EOD unit on my FOB just got a Segway so they could move around more easily while wearing their bomb suits. Turns out, it's pretty easy to fall over while riding the damn thing in a bomb suit, and they can't really use it. The truth is, the armor we're currently wearing is pretty damn bulky. I challenge the pompous blowhards calling for "better armor" to try shooting and moving with 60+ pounds of gear on. If they gave us more armor, you can bet we'd be required to wear it. (However, I would be willing to try to adjust if it meant I would get to patrol in a Storm Trooper uniform. That would be so cool.) SGT Jackson Posted by: SGT J on January 8, 2006 02:24 PM
Next generation assault weapon . . . http://www.atk.com/AdvancedWeaponSystems/advanceweaponsystems_xm25.asp Posted by: on January 8, 2006 02:29 PM
Better infantry better armor better weapons dont go into batle on a bicycle with a slingshot againsta whole bunch of T-72 tanks you will get blwn away before you have time to put your first stone in your sling Posted by: spurwing plover on January 8, 2006 02:32 PM
In F.E.A.R. the pc game, there were shocktroopers of that sort, but of course their uber-armored suits also had increased exoskeleton strength. Posted by: Greg on January 8, 2006 02:48 PM
That would be so cool. Sgt. Jackson, What's cool is hearing from you guys in Iraq--now that's REALLY cool. Sorry the Segway didn't work out well for you. Was it the civilian model, or the new one they've been developing for the military? I saw a picture a few weeks ago of the military model. It looked like it might be useful. Posted by: Bullington on January 8, 2006 02:51 PM
There is always a price. I've had pian in my knees since '96 because of my time in the infantry and the weights we carried. I made sure that when we stopped on marches I was near a tree or something I could use to lever myself back up again. SSG Graves Posted by: Graves on January 8, 2006 04:14 PM
Turn in your geek hat geoff. Stateside, the giant robot genre is called mecha, though properly that refers to any machine/machine heavy environment. Posted by: HowardDevore on January 8, 2006 04:27 PM
Please keep all comments by people who use the equipment and delete the rest, including mine. Thanks Posted by: WyGuy on January 8, 2006 04:27 PM
Actually - quite a few armies maintain bicycle hussars. It's an amazing way to haul a bunch of kit at decent sustained speed over almost any terrain, with no need for a fuel train. Hussars can carry nough nasty surprises in a fairly sneaky way to give them real good odds against a whole bunch of T-72 tanks. Off the top of my head, the Chinese do this, allowing every bicycle infantry squad to have a towed heavy MG and ammo, plus full field packs and still manage twice marching speed. Bikes can tow mortars, heavy antitank rockets, or multiple light AT weapons.
More thinking aloud on my site regarding the topic of armor. Posted by: Bob King on January 8, 2006 04:44 PM
Y'all might be thinking of the "hard suits" in Bubblegum Crisis. But let's not derail this thread, OK? Posted by: Steven Den Beste on January 8, 2006 04:50 PM
Even when the armor works the soldier will still probably get knocked on his ass from the impact. (Remember that video of the medic shot by the sniper?) And how would a slow-moving shocktrooper do in a combat situation like this? Posted by: dorkafork on January 8, 2006 06:23 PM
One problem is that there is no such thing as a front line when it comes to MOUT (Military Operations in Urban Terrain). Shock troops might be useful for a specifc raid on a specific target, but then again, we've got those already in the form of SEALS, Delta Force, Recon, etc. Having a special armor set for a select group of troops gets to be problematic from a supply point of view as well. Two sets of gear you have to maintain/replace. The other intangible here is the hard reality of the fact that in combat, people die. The best way to "shock" the enemy is through speed and mobility. High op-tempo, don't give them time to react or adapt. This means very little in the way of rest periods. Mobility is often more important than heavy armor. The ability to duck, dodge, and dive is much more likely to keep you alive in many cases than a SAPI plate. Other considersation: first aid. When you do take hit, if it takes a crew of 5 just to get you out of your body armor, you could bleed out before they could get to the wounded area. The best idea was the active/reactive armor. Adaptive state-change gels or composites, especially if the can return to the original state after deformation. Or maybe some graphite/ceramic/kevlar combo. Take the M1A1. Very survivable. Heavy armor. 71 tons. Takes a lot to kill one, but there are a lot of place it can't go. Maj B- Posted by: Partisan Pundit on January 8, 2006 07:24 PM
MAJ B almost made the point. We already HAVE "super-duper heavy-duty" armor in the system. It's called the M-1 Abrams. And in it, you can go most places -- you just can't ever use that house again afterwards.... Posted by: CavDude on January 8, 2006 08:34 PM
A couple of bank robbers tried something like this in LA in 1997. They died. http://www.emergency.com/lapdbank.htm Posted by: MarcH on January 8, 2006 08:52 PM
Maybe it's the geek in me, when but I hear "Infantry Body Armor", I can't help but think of this this. Feh. heavily armored space marines always get the cute nerd chicks. Posted by: Xoxotl on January 8, 2006 08:53 PM
About the only useful purpose for the kind of armor Ace has in mind would be bomb-disposal, and they already have a suit like that. I've tried one on -- it's heavy as hell and you can barely move, and even in an air-conditioned facility I was sweating buckets after about two minutes. Not something I'd want to have to move around in while being shot at. Posted by: Monty on January 8, 2006 08:54 PM
Ace, good idea. My guess is that the military is working on various concepts right now. Just as SWAT teams have heavier armor than do patrol officers, you could have specialty soldiers. One approach might be to have a secondary set of armor for members of Delta Force for the secondary stage of battle. Posted by: Steve O on January 8, 2006 08:55 PM
I think this is about the nineteenth post on body armor. I tried to be serious, offered reasonable comments on the various trade-offs involved, and threw in relevant references to Saladin's light cavalry and the heavily-armored Crusaders. But damn! I miss bbeck. When are we going to start talking about hooters again? Posted by: Michael on January 8, 2006 08:57 PM
The IBA comes with a kevlar neck and throat protector(as well as a kevlar groin protector) but I never wore them. They were uncomfortable and restricted my movement. In fact, nearly every Soldier I knew went without them. The same can be said about the deltoid protector. Few Soldiers wore them and fewer wanted to. It's one thing to be riding an Uparmor as a gunner, in which case I would wear whatever I could, it's another to be on foot conducting patrols through urban areas. And I was a medic! Posted by: matterson on January 8, 2006 09:05 PM
Turn in your geek hat geoff. The one I was thinking of had this super-advanced powered body armor that was in a box that fell off a truck. Some kid (natch) gets in and is chased everywhere by the baddies trying to recover the armor. I'm pretty sure that it started with an "M," which is why "Macross" came to mind. But yeah, Macross is a Robotech offshoot. I've seen the Genesis Climber Mospeada series, but that wasn't what so much what I had in mind. Posted by: geoff on January 8, 2006 09:09 PM
Geoff, that sounds like "The Guyver". http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101988/ HowardDevore, yah Robotech was da shit! :-D Posted by: Enas Yorl on January 8, 2006 09:42 PM
Wasn't "The Guyver" bio-armor? I'm thinking of a climb-in mecha suit. Posted by: geoff on January 8, 2006 09:46 PM
Yah, Guyver was some sort of alien bio-mecha thingy, so probably different from what your thinking. Same plot though. Posted by: Enas Yorl on January 8, 2006 09:50 PM
guyver shot LASERS out of his BOOBS wut is up with japanimation? Posted by: Sortelliwing Plover on January 8, 2006 09:52 PM
But yeah, Macross is a Robotech offshoot. And not to stink up the thread further, but wasn't Robotech the Macross offshoot, technically? I preferred Robotech anyway, but if I recall it was just a bunch of different shows repackaged in one universe for US audiences, and Macross was the first series. Posted by: Sortelli on January 8, 2006 09:54 PM
The Guyver! That's what I was thinking of! ...and holy God what a piece of shit movie that was...got it on a whim while at the video-rental place, paid a buck for it, and still felt cheated. Posted by: Monty on January 8, 2006 10:26 PM
Your thinking of Gasaraki (climb in mecha) I bet. As far as an anime (and live action movies) with wearable armor, Jin Roh (anime) and Stray Dogs: Kerberos Panzer Cops; Red Spectacles (live action) Posted by: GreatMoose on January 8, 2006 11:15 PM
The Dept of Defense funds many many researchers around the country to continue with cutting-edge research. Some of it is very very cool, some of it is wacky-sounding too, and a lot is both. I get to hear about some of it. Imagine that your tent produces photovoltaic energy, and your roll-up battlefield map is in fact a flexible display screen capable of recieving signals (=dynamically-changing map, also remotely destructible). Lots of money being spent on ultra-high-tech armor, folks. They really are working on it. Posted by: tubino on January 8, 2006 11:31 PM
Gasarki is still larger than the one I saw - I bought the one I'm thinking of 10 years ago from The Right Stuf on VHS. It wasn't episodic, and I'm still pretty sure that it started with an "M." I gave it to a friend: I'll give him a call tomorrow and see if he still has it. Posted by: geoff on January 9, 2006 12:41 AM
The Guyver! That's what I was thinking of! Complete with Mark Hamill and Jimmie Walker. A stinker of Brobdingnagian proportions. Posted by: geoff on January 9, 2006 02:43 AM
The DoD is working a number of different projects that would make better armor possible. Here's a few: http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2004/03/03_exo.shtml http://www.wired.com/news/technology/1,49828-0.html http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2003-03/jhu-rsb030503.php Posted by: cyfir on January 9, 2006 09:25 AM
I ran across this yesterday as I was trying to figure out what was possible right this second. It's actually a facinating site - Warwick is the firm that made the mars lander "balloons" that allowed the mars rovers to bounce to a soft landing. And their Special Ops gloves would very likely make an excellent gift to anyone in the field. At fifty bucks, not at all expensive, considering what they do. You can get sleeve style protectors as well. Just the thing for diving for cover or doing breakfalls on concrete covered with shards of glass. They make specialty body armor for industrial water-blasting which, if you adapted the design to combat, would actually work, more as heavy-duty scuff-proofing, so that the wearer just didn't need to be concerned about falling on sharp things. That would be my primary concern in an urban combat environment - sharp things, ankle-busters, catching the edge of a blast, all of the tiny things that can make you vulnerable to an aimed shot. It's pretty clear from paging thru this and other resources that stopping an aimed rifle shot is unrealistic. But it's not a common thing, either. Not statistically, compared to bullets fired. But people are injured all the time in evading direct fire, or from richochets, sharp glass, frag and sharp sticks. In an urban environment, you can add in every potential wound contaminant known to man. So a "scuff-resistant" soldier is achievable, and at a realistic cost - and the effect in reducing injuries is very high. Trying to make them bullet-resistant all over the body - not so easy. And if weapons like the XM25 airburst assault weapon become standard, such "scuff-proofing" will become vital. Posted by: Bob King on January 9, 2006 10:45 AM
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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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Cicero (@cicero43): "Man, my IQ must be down like 80 points. I must hav ..." Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian: "This will be my first Mother's Day since my Mom pa ..." Have you ever thought about like, water?: "Did I keep losing 20 points for every boat? I m ..." Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! : "[i] "I Fell for the Bullshit About the Wonders of ..." mindful webworker - but it does move!: "🛸Speaking of extraterrestrial secrets T ..." Gotta think sales and marketing: "How about a "I Fell for the Bullshit About the ..." JackStraw: ">>d. Buying a boat. Did I keep losing 20 points ..." Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! : " Fuck Off, You Perverts Day fixed! ..." Berserker-Dragonheads Division: "Holy carp. Seattle media is promoting Other’ ..." Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! : "[i] The crew took photos. Posted by: publius, Ra ..." four seasons: " Howz about Fuck Off Day you perverts. ..." Bloggers in Arms
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Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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