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December 21, 2005

Temporary Restraining Order Issued Against David Letterman...

...for speaking televised "code words" to tell a woman he wanted to marry her and groom her as his co-host.

In other words, he hyp-mo-tized her.

state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her "mental cruelty" and "sleep deprivation" since May 1994.
Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least three yards away and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering."

...

Nestler's application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and "eye expressions" to convey his desires for her.

I'm glad this woman has finally taken a stand. For six long, terrifying years, "Balky" from Perfect Strangers sent me "psycho-o-grams" telling me he would flay the skin from my body and stitch it around animal organs, burned pages from the Bible, and Winterfresh Mentos, all to make a full-sized Ace juju doll/sex zombie.

For some reason, he was also really keen on seeing the full director's cut of Dune with me. And I'm like, Jesus, the short version was tedious enough, you know?

I'm telling you, the guy has a screw loose or somethin'.

posted by Ace at 09:41 PM

Comments

Is it too late to ask Santa for a full-sized Ace juju doll/sex zombie?

Posted by: on December 21, 2005 09:49 PM

Hmm, now that I have my Ace juju/zombie doll, what type of accessories will he need? Is there an Ace juju/zombie doll Playhouse?

Posted by: on December 21, 2005 10:15 PM

Or the ever-popular Ace juju/zombie doll sheepherder outfit?

Pudding for everyone!

Posted by: Tom M on December 21, 2005 10:20 PM

Bronson Pinchot?

HOT.

Simian. Lava.

There. I said it.

Posted by: lauraw on December 21, 2005 10:26 PM

A little cowboy hat and some juju/zombie sheep for my Ace doll. Oh, yes!

Posted by: on December 21, 2005 10:31 PM

This story is weird. What was the judge's reasoning here? Is this par for the couse in New Mexico courts?

Posted by: Dr. Reo Symes on December 21, 2005 10:55 PM

I dunno. Maybe, they grant all temporary restraining orders. Maybe, the judge was a smartass.

Posted by: on December 21, 2005 10:58 PM

Maybe the judge figured that Letterman would not be the least bit concerned about this restraining order. He might have even given tacit permission.

Posted by: Tom M on December 21, 2005 11:08 PM

Hmm, back to thinking up little outfits for my Ace doll.

Posted by: on December 21, 2005 11:12 PM

Bronson Pinchot?

HOT.

Puh-leeeze!

Mark Linn-Baker rules...

(I always liked 'My Favorite Year'...)

Posted by: scott on December 22, 2005 01:44 AM

Kidding aside...

....did you know that, according to Federal Law, anybody who has a restraining order out against them are barred from owning, carrying, or using firearms?

So, basically, because this psycho moonbat is convinced that David Letterman is trying to take over her brain using eldritch mind-control powers, his 2nd Amendment rights have been completely suspended.

Posted by: Xoxotl on December 22, 2005 05:18 AM

For TROs in most normal parts of the country, one of the requirements is that the moving party must show a likelihood of winning at trial, which means this genius judge believes these claims are more credible than not. In all seriousness, unless there's something more to the story that we don't know, this judge should be impeached immediately.

Posted by: kjones on December 22, 2005 07:23 AM

Impeached! This judge should have to under go a full psychological evaluation and have a restraining order placed against him to prevent him from sitting on the bench.

Posted by: The Real Steve on December 22, 2005 08:32 AM

The judge isn't the only one who needs an immediate psychological evaluation.

Posted by: rabidfox on December 22, 2005 09:03 AM

Well, you're right about that rabidfox, but we know there are crazy people out there, and the judiciary is supposed to be able to sort out the nuts from the people who really need to be before the court.

Posted by: kjones on December 22, 2005 11:22 AM

Couldn't this lady just turn off the TV ? For crying out loud ! People need to start taking responsibility for their actions!

Posted by: ConservativeKimm on December 22, 2005 01:59 PM

Dave is the merely a lowly acolyte of Cheney the Omnipotent

Posted by: WolfRunnerWoman on December 22, 2005 02:11 PM

Could someone in New Mexico take out a restraining order against Hillary Clinton? Stop her from using "code words" on TV to suggest she wants to be our next President.

Posted by: Bob Hawkins on December 22, 2005 02:38 PM

Oh wow..that is extremely funny, yet terrifying, all at once.

Posted by: Luka612 on December 22, 2005 04:50 PM

I'm taking a restraining order out against Hillary, because if you look carefully you will see. She is staring at my cock during her coveted TV time. The whole ruse of the Hillary in 08 crap is just a ploy for the keg legged bitch to get in my pants, she likes Irishmen.

Posted by: Johnnywaka on December 23, 2005 12:00 AM

Another possibility is that the judge granted the request to bring attention to the problem of frivolous restraining orders and the ease with which people receive them, kind of like Patterico seeking a Nobel prize nomination during the leadup to Tookie's execution.

Of course the other possibility is that the judge is just an idiot...

Posted by: Scott on December 23, 2005 10:07 AM

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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

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Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
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REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

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People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
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