Saturday Night Club ONT - June 20, 2026 [D Squared]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. We built this place for you so you can have some fun. Come in in, grab a drink or 3. Keep it light and friendly. Jerks need not enter the premises (the moose out front is keeping watch).

[Top photo: The first NoVa MoMe since the election of Virginia Governor Spanberger took place today. The state was on alert!]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

Randy, the painter, often thinned his paint to make it go further. The Baptist Church decided to restore its biggest building. Randy put in a low bid and got the job. He bought the paint, and thinned it with turpentine. Well, Randy was painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a clap of thunder. The sky opened, and the rain poured down. It washed the thinned paint off the church. Randy fell from the scaffold, landing among the gravestones. He was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty.

Randy raised his voice to the heavens, crying, "Oh, God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from above, a mighty voice roared: “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

-----

O'Brien lived alone in the Irish countryside for many years, with just his dog for company.

One day, the dog died, and O'Brien went to see Father Mullaney, the parish priest.

"Father, me darlin' pup has passed on. I was wonderin', could ya be sayin' a mass for the poor creature?"

"Ah, I'm afraid not, we can't be havin' services for an animal in the church. But there's a few Baptists down the road and there's no tellin' what they're believin' in. Maybe they'll do somethin' for the poor creature."

"I'll be headin' off straight away, Father. Do ye think five grand would be enough to donate for the service?"

"Sweet Mary, mother o' Jesus! Why didn't ye tell me the dog was a bleedin' Catholic?"

Drink of the Night

We have arrived at the sevens in our deck of playing card cocktails. Tonight we feature the 7 of hearts

Club ONT Department of MoMe Reflections

As mentioned above, the 2026 NoVa MoMe took place today. Yuuuuuuge thanks to bluebell and Weasel for organizing another fun gathering! (Despite the official title "WeaselBell Productions", notice that we here at Club ONT know full well who to mention first when discussing the respective members of said team).

For the most part, the event went off as planned. JJ Sefton wasn't in attendance, but he used the weather machine to dial up perfect weather for us! Several NoVa MoMe veterans were in attendance, and we also had a few new folks

Always good to see new faces at a MoMe! If you've never attended one, we implore you to do so at the next opportunity! Seriously, even those of you who are shy or akward - or even ugly and stinky - we want you there! You can sit in a corner or behind a flowerpot wearing a "Lurker" name tag and just observe the event. Weasel himself pretty much just sits off to the side watching. If he can do it, so can you. C'mon - just go!

As for today, there were a couple of things worth noting.

First off - a person of questionable attire showed up. Khakis, dark colored polo shirt, and sunglasses. Someone (you know who you are!) stuck a warning label on his back. And we were VERY careful what we said around him.

Secondly - this one is quite puzzling. We do not quite know what happened here.

The most plausible explanation is that our good friend Piper - who you may recall succumbed to a tumor a few weeks ago - was reincarnated as a doggeh and made it to the MoMe today. No further information is available as of yet. We will keep you posted.

So -- will we be seeing you in Texas in October for TxMoMe XI???

Club ONT Speaker Check Service

Volume up. Just making sure the speakers on your device are operating properly.

Club ONT Department of Signs of the Apocalypse

Porsche Looked at Hyundai and Said, "We'll Have What They're Having"

The 2027 Taycan gets fake gear shifts, fake noise, and a feature Porsche quietly borrowed from Hyundai.

On Wednesday, the 2027 Porsche Taycan debuted with fake gear shifts and as the German automaker put it, "more emotive electric sport sound."

The fake gear shifts are being dubbed "virtual gears" with the feature known as E-Shift, according to Porsche. It's an option on all 2027 Taycan models, though it's standard on the Turbo GT trim, and will deliver a "perceptible shift motion," according to the automaker.

Taycans already had fake noise, but now Porsche said the system, which uses speakers to pump fake noise into the world just like Hyundai's does, has been "reinterpreted," according to the automaker. It's also officially called Porsche Electric Sport Sound. Dangerously close to sport exhaust.

Porsche also added a virtual rev counter to the 2027 Taycan to count the fake revs from the fake transmission.

Tell me you've lost your way without telling me you've lost your way.

Content cleanse with this:

Club ONT Department of Wrestling History

The June 16, 1984, episode of Piper's Pit would go down in history as the start of something huge: the Rock 'n Roll Connection. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper interviewed pop star Cyndi Lauper, Captain Lou Albano crashed the conversation, and chaos ensued!

We know what you're thinking. "If only Mattel would make a trio of collectible figures to commemorate such a significant cultural moment in time..." Well, we have news for you.

A new 3 pack of action figures will make their debut at San Diego Comic-Con next month! Each is 6.5 inches tall. How much you ask? Only $80! What a bargain! If that's not enough, the Lauper figure comes with an interchangeable head and two extra pairs of hands.

Club ONT Department of Disturbing Food

I Ate Blue Hot Dogs For You People, Are You Not Entertained?

The TikToker @itsmeju1iette is dedicated to trolling food internet at an exceptionally well-executed level. Juliette does things like create meat cereal in the style of Froot Loops, uses her dog's actual paws to make paw print cookies, and fills the frunk (front trunk) of a Tesla completely with tiramisu (unfortunately, commercially-made meat cereal does exist, and we once tried it).

One of her videos from a few years back is a simple one showing her cooking hot dogs in Gatorade, which turns them a remarkable blue color. Could this actually happen? Gatorade needs no introduction, but in my mind, the drink wouldn't impart that much color to a hot dog - or would it?

The verdict:

Interestingly enough, the Gatorade only colored the surface of the dog, and the Fierce Grape flavor was subtle. But it was there all right, though it was very faint. The meaty savoriness of the all-beef hot dog did the heavy lifting, and for something this strange-looking, it didn't taste as atrocious as it appeared.

Club ONT Jukebox

It's almost officially summer!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Club ONT thanks you for your support! Unlike our regular patrons, there are some who have not yet fully committed to their Chung Wanging.

Club ONT has been described as "an acquired taste". Perhaps those who don't like Club ONT should acquire some taste!

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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