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« Der Spiegel Suggests Giving The Israelis/Jews The German State of Schleswig-Holstein | Main | Talking To Kids About Terrorism »
December 10, 2005

Two Christmas Generic Midwinter Holiday Miracles Odd Events With No Supernatural Import

A Paris Hilton Christmas shrine. There's a reason for the season, and that reason is vapid, distasteful billionaire whores.

And:

The Holy Cross appears... inside a potato!

And you know it's a legitimate miracle, because the website announces:

This is NOT a Hoax!
This is a true miracle!

And futhermore, it must be real, because it will be auctioned on eBay!

In related news, I have a fungal growth beneath a dead toenail which looks almost exactly like St. Francis of Assisi robbing a liquor store. Which, of course, I'll also be auctioning off on eBay.

I'm scheduling the toenailectomy for Three Kings Day for maximum solemnity/synergy.

Thanks for the "Holy Potato" to Armchair in Sin.


posted by Ace at 01:05 PM
Comments



funnny.... but ewwwww.

Posted by: yls on December 10, 2005 01:26 PM

Hmm...the Paris monument to bad taste is only a short drive away. Should I take a drive over and check it out?


Yes, I must.

Posted by: JackStraw on December 10, 2005 02:01 PM

Photoblog it, dude!

Posted by: ace on December 10, 2005 02:11 PM

I spend a great deal of time trying to figure out the migratory patterns and social habits of the main herd of humanity, and am used to being bewildered and disgusted by it,, but this fascination with that scrawny, homely-ass coke whore is one of the damndest things I have ever witnessed.

Posted by: B Moe on December 10, 2005 02:59 PM

Yea yea, whatever. I'm going. And there shall be pictures.

Posted by: JackStraw on December 10, 2005 03:39 PM

Is it just me or by day six is that spud taking on a resemblence to the bearded clam?

Posted by: BrewFan on December 10, 2005 04:36 PM

"I am cooking potatoes for 35 years now, but I have never seen something like this in my whole life!" Winkler said

It's the damnedest thing, but as a chef I've cooked, oh, I don't know...Like a million fucking potatoes and I've seen that shit inside about 50,000 of them.

This personal chef needs to check her glasses prescription.

A miracle would be a instant mashed potato that didn't taste suspiciously like ass!

Posted by: Jake Jacobsen on December 10, 2005 04:40 PM

JackStraw....ping me with pics, please!!!!

Posted by: SondraK on December 10, 2005 04:47 PM

A miracle would be a instant mashed potato that didn't taste suspiciously like ass!

Mix in enough butter and sour cream and it tastes like ass covered in butter and sour cream. Which his awesome.

Posted by: S. Weasel on December 10, 2005 05:23 PM

I grew a potato that looks just like Richard Nixon!

Posted by: Cliff Claven on December 10, 2005 05:46 PM

I grew a potato that looks just like Richard Nixon!

A miracle would be growing a potato that looks nothing like Richard Nixon.

Posted by: sandy burger on December 10, 2005 05:52 PM

Have yourself a skanky little Christmas

Posted by: Lars on December 11, 2005 01:18 AM

That's nothing compared to the "Right to Life Sweet Potato (Incredible, Edible Fetus)" offered on Ebay with an opening bid of just $20,000
Item number: 5633360927

Yep, Merry Christmas

Posted by: ME on December 11, 2005 11:17 AM

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