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November 29, 2005

Woe Canada

A huge political scandal, a fall of government, an election held during the holiday season -- mark your calendars, 29 November 2005 is the date upon which Canada nearly threatened to almost become somewhat close to marginally interesting.

posted by Ace at 05:28 PM

Comments

Cana-who now?

Posted by: harrison on November 29, 2005 05:35 PM

Well, it's easy to overlook little Canada, seeing how it's all tucked away down there. I vaguely recall that they like to say "eh" a lot.

Posted by: Enas Yorl on November 29, 2005 05:40 PM

I fart in your general direction.

Posted by: Paul Martin on November 29, 2005 05:49 PM

Didn't those clowns already fail a no-confidence vote last summer? I'd thought the soap opera was fascinating; I was wondering if Her Majesty herself was going to step in and tell the Canucks what happens to rulers who ignore the writ of Parliament.

She didn't, but it looks like she didn't have to.

What's most interesting is that even the NDP have decided to cancel the farcical Paul Martin Show this time 'round. I'm guessing the NDP think they have a shot at pulling Canada even further leftward domestically and into the EU's orbit internationally. The plan seems to be kill or split the "Grits", pull in stray lefties, and ally with Bloc Quebecois.

Posted by: David Ross on November 29, 2005 05:52 PM

Canada is to the US what Danny Devito was to Arnold Schwartzenegger in Twins. Same parent totally different outcomes.

Posted by: Iblis on November 29, 2005 06:00 PM

Canada and the Homosexual-doers -- Ace is posting my two favorite issues.

Posted by: Bart on November 29, 2005 06:01 PM

I used to spend a lot of time in Alberta (Edmonton) back when I worked as a consultant. Alberta is cool: like Wyoming, only a lot bigger. B.C. is cool, too. It's only les Quebecois that ruin it for everybody.

While in Edmonton, I ate at a place called Smitty's every night, and drank a superb micro-brew whose name now escapes me. Plus they had a waitress now that could have given a dead man a boner. This was a large factor in my decision to eat there every night. So Canada can muster delights to both the palate and the eye!

Posted by: Monty on November 29, 2005 06:12 PM

Canada is great except for the Canadians.

Posted by: The Warden on November 29, 2005 06:22 PM

...well, and except for the Canadian waitresses giving dead men boners...

And somehow microbrew is involved.

This is a really informative thread, I'm learning a lot about Canadia, thanks guys.

Posted by: Carl in N.H. on November 29, 2005 07:10 PM

My Dad, Archie Bunker, took his 2nd wife to Quebec once on a little vacation.

On a little sojourn one day, they decided to order food from a lady street-vendor rather than have a sit down meal.

Dad started placing his order and the lady told him in French that she didn't speak English.

Dad turned to his bride and said, "The stupid bitch says she can't speak English." And he left, but not before he noticed the vendor lady turning many shades.

Apparently she could understand him just fine.

Posted by: lauraw on November 29, 2005 07:45 PM

Japanese Lingerie Models in Fuzzy Bras: Still More Important than Collapse of Canadian Government

Posted by: V the K on November 29, 2005 07:48 PM

Hey Ace,
Are you having an ugly american contest tonight?

Posted by: Strider on November 29, 2005 08:02 PM

I thought all the ugly Americans went up north after the last election?

Posted by: Sortelli on November 29, 2005 08:19 PM

Hey Strider, what's so ugly about calling Martin a clown and insinuating that the Queen would have been within her rights to demand his literal head months ago?

Er, ok... you said "ugly Americans". Let me know where the ugly limey thread is...

Posted by: David Ross on November 29, 2005 09:27 PM

I used to spend a lot of time in Alberta (Edmonton) back when I worked as a consultant.

I'm with Monty. Edomonton is actually a pretty cool place. It's cowboy country. Plus they have this huuuge indoor mall, the world's largest, that helps them make it through the winter. Information on the mall can be found here.

Posted by: Michael on November 29, 2005 10:08 PM

It is said the Edmonton Mall has more submarines than the RC Navy. They do have awesome almond croissants there however. The amusement park is on the lame side but for indoors acceptable.

Posted by: Laddy on November 29, 2005 11:19 PM

The amusement park is on the lame side but for indoors acceptable.

Well, the water park is lame too, but if you live in Edmonton and you want to ride the waves indoors in February, it's a lot cheaper than a flight to Hawaii.

Posted by: Michael on November 30, 2005 12:50 AM

I actually got treated to the Korean version of the Edmonton Mall in Seoul. The company that owned it (a major Korean department store chain, at the time), shut the place down so that the team from my company had exclusive access to the place.

It was fun; this place had many of the same features as the Edmonton Mall. But, the Edmonton Mall is better.

I'll go back to dissing Canadians tomorrow. Tonight, I'm just sayin' that the Edmonton Mall is awesome.

Posted by: Michael on November 30, 2005 01:13 AM

Looks like even the mounties are tired of their bumbling leaders its a real shake up at the RCMP becuase DUDLEY DORIGHT,INPECTOR FENWICK and his duaghter NELL re going to vote their leaders out becuase SINIDLEY WHIPLASH has failed to bring the country up from its doldrums

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 1, 2005 05:03 PM

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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
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Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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