I have a bit of a situation here myself... I'm positively spinning with embarrassment, after predicting Bear losses against Carolina and then Tampa Bay.

Come on... The whole Feely debacle was so horrible that it reached humorous proportions.

Eli's ability to drive for game-closing TDs is pretty uncanny, though. Maybe we should play no huddle all game, a la the old K-gun Bills?

> If Eli Manning wins a game, do I get an Eli Manning check?

You do if you had bet on him.

Perhaps "The Simpsons" put it best:

Lisa: So gambling makes a good thing even better?

Homer: That's right. My God, it's like there's some kind of bond between us.

FEA?

A-fuckin'-men to the title of this post. I'm a Philadelphia Eagles fan and a Tennessee Volunteers fan. One was expected to be in the Super Bowl, and the other was expected to win the SEC and be in the hunt for the Rose Bowl this year. Now I'm staring down the barrel of two losing records. Why the hell do I bother with it?

I'm a Notre Dame fan. I'm happy.

Houston Texans, up by 10 with about 2 minutes remaining.

Then lose the game.

(And before anyone dogs on me for being a Texans fan: your team is your team. What would you have me do? Be a fair-weather fan?)

Just makes me still less interested in the NFL. College football is far more fun. Go horns!

Look at the bright side, you could be a Packer fan...

[sniff]

Houston Texans, up by 10 with about 2 minutes remaining.

Then lose the game.

At least you guys get the #1 pick next yr.

Money changes everything.

How 'bout them Broncos (heh-heh)?

Looks like the Giants need a new kicker.

(Go Seahawks!)

Why care? Because real men have always been about sport and competition. Being the best means guaranteed poontang. So when we armchair quarterbacks don our jerseys, drink beer and fart into the recliner all Sunday afternoon, damnit, somebody has to make us feel like winners rather than the flagulating drunktards we really are. And if our team wins, all the more reason to embibe in those few extra bottles of bravery, enough to ask the wife/girlfriend for that celebratory bj and complimentary teabagging.

Texans fans? Packers fans? Big deal I'm a Jets fan.
J-E-T-S
JETS! JETS! JETS!

I thought the Giants-Seahawks game was world class football. With Feely missing 3, count 'em, three field goals and then going into overtime...this game had more pathos than "Casey at the Bat." Three of my fingers are gone up to the second knuckle.

It's frustrating, no doubt. My problem is that when my team wins (my team is the Steelers), it's like I feel more relieved than happy. And, if they lose, I'm disgusted/angry. But I rarely experience that full feeling of unbridled sports joy! I suppose I might experience that if they ever win another Super Bowl. Until then . . .

Go Bears... :) :::::Flee:::

You lost me after "chicks jumping in the hottub." Mmmm....

It is in our genetic code to cheer on larger more powerful men cracking the skulls of the other tribe, because a successful day of skull cracking ensures the transmission of the genetic code not just of the warriors themselves, but those less able types who cheer them on. Paris gets to fool around with Helen only as long as Hector is kicking ass, so naturally he takes a keen interest in Hector's performance. When Hector gets his ass kicked, the party's over for all the Trojans and Helen will go find a man amongst the victors, if she's not taken by force first. So as a matter of evolution, the average man's chances for sex were dependant to some extent on the performance of strangers outside the gates on the field of battle. Hence, the despair when one's tribe/team loses. (Sort of the same point compos mentis is making, but elevated with classical allusion.)

I'm confused. Why aren't we talking about the Spurs?

Garghghghgh!

Redskins lose again. Joe Gibbs was so frustrating back in 1990 because he got so conservative once he was ahead by more than 1 point in the second half. Of course, Brunell deserves blame for not actually passing the ball.

And who the fuck is Robert Royal. He is like the receivers of 2001-2003, couldn't catch a cold with superglue.

At least the Giants and Dallas lost.

And don't get me started on my Packers. Their fourth quarter defensive scheme is tissue paper. lite. It doesn't help that everyone got injured in games 1-2.

But why spit on the players, most of them last about 3 seasons, and fans root for the uniforms, not the players.

"At least the Giants and Dallas lost."

You're as cold as ice, Joe.

I'm a Dallas fan, and watching Cundiff miss the 33 yarder that would have beat Denver on Thanksgiving just ripped my fucking heart out.

The Cowboys, Giants and Bucs are all looking at losses this week solely because their kickers failed to perform.

I'm a maniac for doing this to myself week after week.

That pain just makes it better to be a fan, because the highes are higher. I never appreciated it as much when I was younger. I just assumed we were gonna win. Anyway, I hope this is true.

Dallas has had kicking problems all season, I remember Cortez nearly getting decapitated.

Maybe its karma for all the suffering the Norwoods went through.

If it makes you feel any better, I will be rooting for the Cowboys against the Giants next week. The Skins can still sweep the cowboys when it comes to the NFC east.

I'll root for the Cowboys too.

Much rather face them than the Giants later. ;)

I can sympathize, Ace. I'm a U of Georgia grad, and the Bulldogs' two losses this year were by a combined five-fucking five-points this year, including a loss to an inferior Florida team. We still won the SEC East, but that doesn't make losing any easier. At least I can get something done on weekends when football season ends and stop making my new wife a basket case with my curse riddled spectating.

I'm cheering that the Eagles are the only team in the NFC East to win this weekend.

Sorry Ace, but damn your Giants. Damn the Cowboys, and (even though we're tied with them) damn your Redskins, Dave.

Our season is still hopeless. But less so than it was a week ago.

Fucking Redskins. Doing shit Joe Gibbs teams are not supposed to do. Stupid penalties, turnovers out the wazoo....I was almost glad to see them lose, since I have a San Diego connection, and I like the Chargers. I'd almost rather see them get the shit kicked out of them than lose ANOTHER fucking game at the end. Mmmm, now that I think about the Giants game, maybe not.

I only follow college football. I graduated from a Southern university best known for its football teams (certainly not its academics). The university has been very succesful in recent memory except for the last few years which have been good years by the standards of some schools but disappointing to graduates of my university.

I have come to the conclusion that if my school is dominant in football that it somehow reflects on me and validates all that I value and believe in .

If my school is not great success (a contender for the mythical national championship) than of course football is just a banal amusement performed by mercenary thugs who do not even belong in an institution of higher learning (they may however belong in another institution).

football =bread and circuses.

Look at the bright side, you could be a Packer fan...

Well, its certainly been a disappointing year losing all these close games but hey, first losing season since 1992...not a bad streak.

Well, when I started playin football in High School, my favorite teams were the Bert Jones/Lydell Mitchell Colts. (Oh, and great job there, drafting Mitchell instead of that bum Frano Harris...bah).

And then later the Brian Sipe/Ozzie Newsome Browns.

Neither team really exists anymore. I refuse to accept the Ravens or the Indy Colts are the same franchise. And the replacemente franchises? Puh-leaze.

Of course my Alma Mater Clemson has really fulfilled my football dreams...

Wait...

Football does suck.

Well, Lyle, I'm just glad my nephew's team put up a helluva fight against Notre Dame. Once again, he was the leading tackler, and snagged one of Quinn's passes early on to take some of the steam out of ya'll. Stanford didn't win, but the eggheads sure looked good out there.

And Ace, Jags fans liked Coughlin as a person, but you're welcome to him as a control-freak coach who can't manage a time clock or dominate when in the lead. Hee hee.

I will always think of the St. louis cardinals not the Arizona cardinals or the Baltimore Colts rather than the Indianapolis colts. I am reminded of the Seinfeld bit about how rooting for a particular team is really rationally reduced to nothing more than rooting for a logo or color scheme on a jersey rather than something we do out of interest for the individual team players or civic pride .

I enjoy football yet like the other things I most enjoy in life such as women, liquor, red meat , football is ultimately a self destructive indulgence.

The NFL is full of hyper-rich thugs, but at least the sport of football requires a high degree of toughness. The game has such huge men hitting each other so violently I'm surprised guys aren't crippled every week. Compare that to baseball, where guys have even more astronomical salaries and don't pound the shit out of each other. And don't even get me started on the NBA.

Baseball requires more skill than football, and does require some degree of toughness or sat least stamina due to the length of the season- 162 games. The greatest basket ball player - M. Jordan could not play baseball at the major league level .It is harder to make the major leagues or an NBA team than it is to make the roster of an NFL team.

I also think it takes some cahones to go up and face a ptcher like randy jones.

UGADawg:

Indeed, and go dawgs!!! I'm psyched for the SEC Championship/Sugar Bowl, but I'm also ready for a return to normalcy:

Saturday's spent shoveling off snow and shit in front of my apartment.

Hey guys, you could be Saints fans like me... everyone wants to chalk up the fact that they're playing like ass (although last night's win over the Jets wasn't horrible) to the storm issues... but they look about like they have for the past few years. (sorry about that, Don)Despite the fact that we desperately need change at QB, head coach (and I really like Haslett), and GM, nothing will change for the forseeable future.

But you know what the best thing about football is? It ain't basketball, and Terrell Owens has been banished to an alternate dimension.

In the meantime, it's on to pay attention to important things, like my new hometown Nashville Predators... thank God for hockey.

Speaking of football- nobody here is jumping up and down screaming about deliverance, now that the Edmonton Eskimos have won the Grey Cup? (rim shot)

tmi3rd

I'm not trying to diminish the skill major league players possess, but the physical pounding footballers take is amazing. They end up hobbling like WWII paratroopers by the time they're 45. While their salaries are less than those of the other two sports. And I refuse to believe that there is a harder job in sports than NFL quarterback. You have at most 5 seconds to toss the ball to one of three moving targets while 11 genetic freaks are trying to rip your head off.

I'm surprised guys aren't crippled every week.

I think I read that the average life expectancy of an NFL player is 54. They save the good pain killers for the end of the regular season and the playoffs. The punishment heaped upon their bodies is tremendous.

But it is so much fun to play and watch.

I guess the point I was trying to make is that football does suck on many levels and I aware of how and why it sucks but I am a hypocrite, I love the violent aspect of the game. I reaally enjoy seeing a great tackle that I know could well cripple some dude for life and yes I enjoy watching football more than baseball.

My team wins- great cosmic importance conveying great honor or something to me personally. My team loses - it's a meaningless game.

Fuck football! It figures all you heteronormative trogolodyte Chimpy worshippers would get off on it!

The GREAT Ramsay Horton will restore Saddam to his rightful presidency of soveriegn Iraq and put the Chimperor in the Hague!

I also think it takes some cahones to go up and face a pitcher like randy jones.

It's Randy Johnson (like the Johnson NONE of you have) not Jones. Randy Jones was a junkballer in the 70's. You obviously have been breathing too much smoke from all your cross-burnings!

yeh them crosses do give off some smoke, got to remember to quit making them out a pine wood. Yeh randy jones- my bad. they call him the big unit or is it the big eunich , big scary freak o nature.

Since we're going all juvenile and tossing out insults (like the Johnson NONE of you have) Go ahead and question my manhood, it felt damned secure the other night when I took sloppy firsts with your mom, skull fucked your dad, and punted your cat you directionless metroturd floating over a bed of dead coral. : )

I had to just roll my eyes at ESPN's emphasis on the Saint's player "gripes" with the NFL and the Commish during last nights game.

I can understand why the players want stability, a place to call home; to enroll their kids in school; to unpack their suitcases for longer than a few days... but guess what fellas, there is a loooooong line of guys who would gladly trade places with you. At 3-8, it's not as if the team has much farther to sink, no pun intended.

If these guys want stability and a place to settle their families then make that a priority ahead of football for heaven's sake. Since when did playing pro football become a God-given right. Remember children, choices & consequences.

Libral dude don't like them vylent sports none. he's more partikular ta watchin sincronized swimmen and eatin tofu.

Looks like the Giants need a new kicker

We'll trade you Billy Cundiff for a mangy dog. Special deal, this week only.

We'll trade you Billy Cundiff for a mangy dog. Special deal, this week only.

Boy, are we getting the good end of that deal.

You're right Slub, we'll probably have to pick up Cundiff's salary for the rest of the year to sweeten the deal.

You jerks might laugh, but the Grey Cup yesterday was probably one of the best games in the history of football. Just amazing.

Colby Cosh recapped it pretty nicely.

I like baseball, but how many major leaguers quit to join the special forces after 9/11?

I don't know but Ted Williams took some time off from baseball for active duty in Korea (maybe he did not volunteer though). Tillman was a great person no doubt.

I was horribly bummed out about my team losing on saturday, I don't even want to say who that team is cause i do not want to hear about it .

We'll trade you Billy Cundiff for a mangy dog.

Cundiff's miss was indeed a pleasant surprise. Of course Elam (the Bronco's kicker) has struggled this season and Bronco fans have had their own share of aggravation as a result. He seems to be back on track now though, so we're going to keep *our* mangy dog.

You have to feel for Feely. I know the guy makes a ton of dinero playing a game, but it's gotta suck to be him right now, especially with how harsh NFL and especially NY fans can be. Billy Cuntkick cunkiss my rump.

Speaking of the Cowboys, sounds like Michael Irvin's gonna lose his job at ESPN, the dumbass.

I live north of seattle, wa ( I am one of three conservatives in the western part of the state) and I am a nominal Seahwaks fan so I don't feel too bad about the Giants . Pro- football just don't do it for me like the college game.

Keggin-

No shit on the whining of the Saints... roughly the same situation hasn't stopped LSU from kicking ass this year. All this righteous indignation hasn't stopped the Saints from being just good enough to lose every close game except the first and last ones. This team is exactly the same one we've been watching for the last few years. The usually well-spoken Ernie Conwell sounded unusually wimpy last night... I'm surprised that he didn't take up for all of the guys sitting out because they did something like break a nail or dislocate their tampon or something.

Nathan-

Lighten up. For my part, so many former Saints and New Orleans high school standouts (i.e. Calgary's Kerry Joseph) are playing in the CFL, specifically for Edmonton (CB Keyuo Craver), and what not... it was a fine game, and paid attention to more than you think. Some of us are quite grateful to have satellite links to CTV, CBC, and TSN (primarily so that we can laugh at Don Cherry and enjoy Jim Hughson). However, at the risk of sounding overly self-righteous, the CFL game was miniaturized to become Arena Football, and it is just plain not as important to us south of the border. Frankly, note also how much the US sports networks pay attention to the CFL. If you're not living in Detroit, Buffalo, Cleveland, or any of the major border cities, it's not exactly like you can follow a sport not marketed in your direction.

tmi3rd

Michael Irvin, former dumbass Cowboys reciever and famous criminal. What the hell, this might be entertaining to some. Email me for the answers if you're so inclined

Cowboy Criminals Trivia:

1. Which Cowboy was arrested for stopping his car and peeing in the grass while his girl friend watched?

2. Which Cowboy was arrested for showing his privates to some girl on the street?

3. Which Cowboy was arrested for molesting a little girl at a friends house in The Colony, TX?

4. Which Cowboy was arrested for sexually assaulting a girl who happened to be the room mate of a nurse he met at a club (she woke up with this guy on top of her)?

5. Which Cowboy is credited with this quote about the White House at Valley Ranch: "All we were doing was running a few whores in and out, and we get in trouble for that too!" Hint: he added to his fame after he retired by getting arrested in Louisiana in a van carrying 213 lbs. of maryjane).

6. Which Cowboy was arrested for sexual assault after a topless dancer at his house called the police, the police showed up at his house, he said there weren't no girl there, and as the police were leaving, they saw the girl waving at them from an upstairs window?

7. Which Cowboy showed up for his grand jury hearing on drug charges dressed as Superfly?

8. Which Cowboy was shot in the chest at a Greenville avenue night club?

9. Which former Cowboy was arrested for sexually assaulting a paralyzed girl in a wheel chair?

10. Which former Cowboy wrote about the Cowboys doing these kind of things in his book "North Dallas Forty"?

Johnson is a redneck's redneck. How many of his autographed nooses do you have?

I only watch beisbol because Fidel was so great. Is there anything that great man can't do? Sigh.

"M. Jordan could not play baseball at the major league level .It is harder to make the major leagues or an NBA team than it is to make the roster of an NFL team. '

Bah, he started as a 31 year old rookie, who hadn't really played since he was in high school. of course, there is also Antonio Gates, didn't even play college football and is now arguably the best tight end in football.

And, of course, the NFL has 53 man rosters, while baseball has 25 (40 after Sept.1), and NBA has 15 man rosters. In fact, it is easier to make the NBA then to make the PGA tour, the Tennis tour, or be a NASCAR driver.

Anyway, football is danmed hard on the body. I know, I played high school football, and my ankles and hip have never been the same. I simply cannot imagine what the effect of drugs, and 300lb men who can run sub 5s 40 can do you you over the course of a career. Which is probably why the careers are so short. Those men are so freakishly large, it is scary.

Ah, I meant to say, "I know I only played high school footbal ( and I am still payong the price...)"

I was not saying I has any actual knowledge of the pain pro athletes have to deal with, but I can imagine...

The fact that baseball and basketball have smaller rosters mean that the odds of making on to a roster are greater. It is statistically more difficult to make it to the NBA or the majors. Bo jackson and Neon Deon played football and baseball, both were great football players, mediocre baseball players.

Elway played football and baseball too in college, and if baseball was so easy and so comparibly more lucrative don't you think he would have been smarter to have pursued baseball. The greatest freaking hitters in history were able to get a hit 4 out of ten times. Sure football is tough , but many of the players are not especially skilled, basically meat on the hoof.

Alright Dave, I'll bite. I've been a Cowboys fan since '72. Since 2000 though, I switched to the Colts.

Anywho, I know Leon Lett and Michael Irvin have been in deep doodoo over drug charges. I suppose they're guilty of some of the other things on your list?

2. lance alworth-

3. efren herrera (?)

7. "Hollywood" Henderson (?)

Interesting triva questions

you could probaly do a similar one for the Univ. of Miami

compos, I'll hold off on the answers a bit to give anyone else who wants it a shot. if you want to email me I'll send em to you.

john brown, I just sent you the answers

there's probably questions I could have asked, this was as many as me and the guys at work could come up with off the top of our head. yeah, UM would be a good list. So would OU or Nebraska

Thanks fer the answers Dave. Oh and Kristain reminds me of Al Bundy with that "I played high school football" crap.

What a bunch of whiners. We true blue Seahawk fans have lived your world for 30 years! Now, we're gettin' a little bit of referee-love and kicker-gods' love. It's about damn time.

Go Seahawks!

ok, I'll end the Cowboy Criminals suspense...

1. Craig Morton

2. Lance Rentzel

3. Raphael Septien

4. Too Tall Jones

5. Nate Newton

6. Erik Williams

7. Michael Irvin

8. Don Casmeric

9. Hollywood Henderson

10. Peter Gent

Try being a Raiders fan. I feel used.

We can go kill that kicker's trees and shrubs and such, if it'll help.

Hey, think about it: you could live in Queens.

I have emotionally disengaged myself from football since I have watched the SF 49ers go from a world-class franchise to bottom-of-the-drawer thanks to mind-bogglingly incompetent ownership. Note to York girls: if you don't know anything about football, sell the team to somebody who does, OK?

Heh. I thought the answers to the Cowboys Quiz were all "Michael Irvin".

To be more specific, pro football sucks.

I still dig the college game and the local high school Friday-nighters. Like the NFL it's an exercise in vicarious living, but when you're rooting for Ol' Siwash U you have that kinship with the institution, and feel a part of it. But seriously, why does anybody give a shit about any NFL team? Do you feel deep allegiance to other entertainment corporations? Is there a minimum SAT score required to be admitted to Jacksonville?

The scariest thing about pro sports is the wierd, lonely, ESPN jock-sniffer fan subculture. Nothing says "loser" like a 37 year old dope in his licensed NFL jersey, glued to AM 1040 THE SCORE for the latest Terrell Owens news, and micro-analyzing stats for next weekend's fantasy football picks. I'd rather be around a Star Trek convention.

Spin this, bitches!

Sure, some teams lost this weekend, which is tragic. But just turn on MNF and watch the fucking cage match that is going on. You can't hate this (although I can't get a good ABC HDTV signal for this).

I am rooting for the Steeler because the Dolphins should be the only undefeated team. ever.

Iowahawk hit it dead on. Nothing is more pathetic than a middle aged jock sniffer . What is that biblical quote (also cited in North dallas Forty) about time to put away childish things. I still do enjoy college football and I enjoy the kinship with the old U. but that also has its limits. Why did my team lose to the freaking Gayters.