i heard reports in 04 that braggin bill was disqualified from the kerry vp search because of the lies and the baggage.
he did not claim to be married to morgan fairchild but,
apparently we havent heard the half of it.
he may not be able to run for anything if his buried past comes to light

And records reveal my companion there is not Ms. Bellucci, but, in fact, my brother Lloyd.

Ol' Bill's got a lot of loose shit going on on his resume' I'd say. And Ace, what's you're attraction to brunettes?

It's old.
I posted about this earlier today in another thread.

So it's a bitchin' Camaro?

What's next? That you're not really a doctor? That you're not hung like a horse?

Lloyd, Lloyd, all null and void
Listen to the truth you're tryin' to avoid...

Ah, Say Anything. One of the best "chick flicks" out there.

I guess Hillary decided to dump him as a running mate and so using her vast resources aka stolen RBI files, she found something to both expose him as a liar and expose him to ridicule and derision.

In the hard-to-top category: Ah-nold declaring that he would start an investigation to determine if he grabbed a lot of women's breasts.

No punchline needed.

I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen...

*sigh*

I didn't actually have nasal sex with Lipstick.

Sorry about the misunderstanding.

Another thing that people seem to think is funny but it isn't: "Ah-nold". Hardy har har. That joke was maybe slightly funny its first telling. Maybe.

Arnold may have actually needed an investigation to find out whose breasts he grabbed and when since after being a notorious womanizer for decades he probably lost track. His track record on that regard may have sank his campaign if the LA Times hadn't been so sleazy in holding the story until right before the election, coming across more as a dirty tricks outfit than an alleged respectable news source, and causing a massive backlash. So in a twisted way Arnold may have his womanizing to thank for becoming governor.

So it's a bitchin' Camaro?

Dead Milkmen forever!

His track record on that regard may have sank his campaign if the LA Times hadn't been so sleazy in holding the story until right before the election, coming across more as a dirty tricks outfit than an alleged respectable news source

What, you mean a supposedly impartial news source behaved in a shamelessly partisan fashion by trying to sabotage the election chances of the candidate it didn't approve of? Why, that's outrageous. I'm cancelling my subscription to the LA Times right now. I'll only watch CBS News and Dan Rather from now on.

And speaking of which, where is ace today, still sleeping off his Thanksgiving Day Lysol and Val-U-Rite binge?

Hillary was drafted by the Yankees. Bill was drafted by the Army.

IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE AOSHQ COMMENT QUALITY CONTROL DEPARTMENT:

It has come to our attention that there is some confusion amongst the commenters on this site regarding the proper use of Recurring Themes (not "memes," which is itself an unacceptable Recurring Theme). Accordingly, we hereby issue the following guidance.

There are two types of Recurring Themes.

Type A are themes which speak directly to our core values. They bind us together as a community. They are always repeatable and are endlessly amusing and/or provocative.

Type B are themes that are tired repetitions of old jokes. They are boring. They expose the commenter as unoriginal and lacking a shred of creativity.

In order to assist you in discerning between Type A and Type B Recurring Themes, we are issuing the following examples. If you carefully study these examples, you will be able to correctly discern between acceptable and unacceptable Recurring Themes.

Type A

Example 1: Damn, I'd like to get my hands an bbeck's big jugs.

Example 2: The bias of the MSM was apparent again today because . . .

Example 3: Brewfan is a homo.

Type B

Example 1: It's old.

Example 2: I question the timing.

Example 3: Michael is a homo.

Thank you for your attention. As always, your cooperation in maintaining the high standards of AOSHQ comment threadis is greatly appreciated.

You forgot this under Type B: "Ah-nuld".

Also, now that Ace has a quality control department, could someone get him to explain "yeahp"?

This will serve as official confirmation that Bob is correct: "Ah-nuld" is definitely a Type B Recurring Theme.

aka stolen RBI files

Was this s typo or a really clever pun?

"a" not "s" - sigh

Quick question - does mentioning that Michael is a cuckold fall under the umbrella of Type A or Type B?

Does this mean Michael isn't a homo?

aka stolen RBI files

I'm thinking it's just a typo, referencing FBI files that went missing during the Clinton administration.

Quick question - does mentioning that Michael is a cuckold fall under the umbrella of Type A or Type B?

If you study the carefully selected illustrative examples in the foregoing Public Service Announcement, the answer to this question will be evident.

Also, now that Ace has a quality control department, could someone get him to explain "yeahp"?

"Yeahp" is a rather juvenile and cutesy way of spelling "Yup" which generally downgrades the quality of a comment, and thus its use is discouraged.

And speaking of which, where is ace today, still sleeping off his Thanksgiving Day Lysol and Val-U-Rite binge?

No, he got up early to shop for Christmas gifts for those of us who were very, very, naughty. :)

What, you mean a supposedly impartial news source behaved in a shamelessly partisan fashion by trying to sabotage the election chances of the candidate it didn't approve of?

Before that happened, other polling companies went public and complained that the LAT was rigging their polls against him. Remember, the LAT not only uses their polls to sabotage elections, they sell them to other newspapers for $$$.

No, he got up early to shop for Christmas gifts for those of us who were very, very, naughty.

You know what would be a fun thread? "Black Friday" horror stories. Fark ran one yesterday, but being Fark, it was lame. We can do better!

Does this mean Michael isn't a homo?

That is correct. He prefers female sheep.

That explains why he occasionally posts under the name Ram-ses the Great, Mrs. Michael.

Black Friday horror stories, huh?

Here's mine - I worked at Wal-Mart.

Slublog:

Details, homie! Details!

I need to understand the depths of your horrifying experience so I can laugh and mock you.

Cedarford is a female sheep?

That explains why he occasionally posts under the name Ram-ses the Great, Mrs. Michael.

Yes. That and the fact the poor dear is a little hard of hearing and he thinks I'm calling him a big 'mummy'.

Okay, the worst thing that happened was actually a week or so after Black Friday, but it's still horrible/funny.

The store was packed full of customers, to the point where almost all of the carts were out on the floor. At the height of the busy day, smoke started coming out of the heating vents and the fire alarms went off. The store had to be evacuated, and then the fire department told everyone to leave the parking lot.

So we had literally hundreds of carts worth of stuff to put back on the shelf.

A funny aside to that story, though. One of us found a jacket on a cart, so we picked it up to put it into the lost and found. It seemed too heavy, and sure enough - there were VHS tapes and CDs stuck in every pocket.

The dumbass customer who left the jacket actually came back to claim it, too.

The dumbass customer who left the jacket actually came back to claim it, too.

My cousin used to work as a photo-developer desk clerk, and he hated the Christmas season. This was before the computerized doodads that take a lot of the gruntwork out the job, but I digress. The quotidian sameness of the thousands of Chirstmas snapshots drove him bonkers.

His favorite story is one where some guy brought in several rolls of film to be developed just after Christmas. Well, one of the rolls of film contained some personal pictures of this guy romping with some chick dressed in a Santa hat and not much else. My cousin to did not develop these photos per company policy, but decided to give the guy a break and not report him (evidently it's a misdemeanor to submit these kinds of photos for public processing).

So the next day some gal shows up and asks for the pictures, saying she's this guy's wife. The kicker: it's not the chick in the photos! So my cousin tells her to wait just a few minutes, and he goes back and quickly develops some of the nastier photos, tucks them into an envelope, and hands the stuff to the lady with a cheery, "Have a nice, day, ma'am!"

I've always wished I could have been a fly on the wall when that lady opened up her pictures to see what heartwarming snaps Hubby took of the Yuletide festivities....

Officer, honest, I didn't mean to kill the thread! I was like, "Gee, wouldn't a Black Friday thread be funny?" Then Slublog posted his stupid little rant, I responded, and well..the thread just died! It's not my fault, I swear to God!

Hm. I seem to have found a new talent - thread killer assistant.

Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that Donk Presidential candidates are expected to tell the truth now? Since when?

Those of you claiming to be schtupping Monica Bellucci are really annoying those of us who actually are.

And 50 points to Monty for using "quotidian" in a sentence!

The thread's dead Jim!

Monty/Slub:

We're watching football, you dumbshits. A&M keeps threatening to upset Texas.

Texas?

Football?

What are those?

And what is "A&M" shorthand for?

East Coast Liberal, did you know that you cant spell "Eat Me" without T, A & M?

I did not know that. I did know, however, that you can't spell "YOU SUCK" without USC.

Jack, stop dicking around on this lame thread and go answer your questions.

And don't thing that, erm, "someone" will fail to notice obvious bias in how the deadline is enforced.

If you're not living with that woman, does that mean I can quit lurking now and start stalk, er dating you?

Yeahp, yup, the thread is dead.
So check out this story of a Canadian asshat.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20051124/bs_prweb/prweb314382_1

No Alien Blood for Moon Rocks?

"The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

Fucking Canadian losers.

Ace and his colleagues appear to be on holiday. If the others, Harry Callahan, Dr.Symes and Tanker do exist and they are not merely aliases of (the main alias) Ace, they should post.

This is a blog, dammit. So blog!

There are Canadians to ridicule, for pete's sake.

Excellent posts today on the Canadian asshat at Letters From Desolation Row and Garfield Ridge.

You forgot. Lauraw is merely Ace's feminine side.

I'm not really the King of Spain.

Oh wow. Republicans catch a Democrat in another "big lie"! What is more amazing is that with something as heaviliy documented as baseball drafts, Richardson was able to "lie" about it for four decades without being called to task until now! I think Richardson made some claims about WMD in Iraq during his baseball days as well!

Richardson told the Journal that the draft process of the 1960s was "rudimentary" and insisted his name had appeared on "a draft list of some kind" created by the Los Angeles Dodgers and Pittsburgh Pirates. He named two scouts - Dick Hanlon from the Dodgers and George Owen from the Pirates - whom he said had told him his name would be placed on a list making him eligible for the draft. Both scouts are deceased.

Back in the summer of 1967, Richardson played for the Cotuit (Mass.) Kettleers, a team comprised of standout college players. Next to his name on a faded team program are the words, "Drafted by K.C."

"When I saw that program in 1967, I was convinced I was drafted," Richardson said. "And it stayed with me all these years."

Arnold Mycock, general manager of that team, said biographical information for the programs was supplied by players or their college coaches.

On the biographical sheet Richardson completed for Tufts in his junior year, he wrote, "Drafted by Kansas City (1966), LA (1968)." He said he wrote those words because he believed them to be true.

"I never tried to embellish this," he said. "I never tried to mask it."

There's this story about someone claiming to be a "small businessman" becoming President of the United States. Research showed that any business he was ever engaged in was a gimme due to his family ties, and were ultimately failures! He went on to be a failed President as well. Go figure.

Yep, Ghost, back then professional teams had this great process for screening out stupid prospects. They didn't actually, you know, notify them or anything. they just snuck the information into faded old programs and such and let the smart athletes figure out for themselves that they had been drafted.

Why back when they drafted Mickey Mantle, they slipped a note inside the wrapper of a hot dog he got at a corner vendor. Willie Mays found out he was a member of the Giants thanks to a clever bit of skywriting.

lol, Jimmie! Ghost and friends really love that Kool-Aid!

There is definitely an uptick in shit-disturbers on this site lately.

Whatever...

Much better, the GREAT Hugo Chavez sticks it, once again, again to Chimpy!

Ohhh, SNAP!

LOL

A dictator uses an "Oil for the Poor" program to buy himself some friends around the world.

I could swear I'd seen something like that before.

UPDATE: Barry Bonds reveals today that he learned he was drafted thanks to a post on Craigslist.

There is definitely an uptick in shit-disturbers on this site lately.

I blame the Daou Report, at least in part.

Back in the summer of 1967, Richardson played for the Cotuit (Mass.) Kettleers, a team comprised of standout college players. Next to his name on a faded team program are the words, "Drafted by K.C."

"When I saw that program in 1967, I was convinced I was drafted," Richardson said. "And it stayed with me all these years."

Oh jeez, Dansing, are you actually buying this spin? Seriously? If we are to believe "Bruisin'" Bill Richardson, he was a hot young phenom whom the Athletics couldn't wait to get their hands on, but then, mysteriously, they never got around to notifying him.

Is that the story you're sticking to?

Oregon, I think you're reading too much into Dansing's comments.

I think what he's trying to say is that from his standpoint, the kool-aid tastes good and that he'll give any politician with a "D" after their name the benefit of the doubt.

Either that, or he's a fucking idiot.

Either works for me.

If using "quotidian" in a comment is worth 50 points, how many did I earn when I used it in a post title?

Uh, check this out. Lost pro-scout said that Bill was indeed offered a draft with a $25,000 signing bonus by the Houston A’s.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1546238/posts

mcconnell does some serious whoring for blog hits. A link to Free Republic to his post with a link back to his site with a broken link to his 'evidence'. What an asshat.