What exactly was he humping?

I mean seriously, I've tried.

What'd he do, pop out an eye and go to town?

Last time I peeked under a dress at Penny's it didn't have a cooter.

I think a fetish has become too convoluted when it involves a mannequin, a Black and Decker power drill, and a packet of Phildeldphia Cream Cheese.

You are entitled to your opinion.

Oh sure, to us, it's a laughable example of man's depravity.

But to poor Tipper Gore, it's a flickering ray of hope.

And it wasn't even an animated, living mannequin like Kim Cattral back in 1984, when she was a spry 63 years young.

Don't mess with the 'girl with green eyes.'

A coworker told me of a similar story when she came back from shopping during our lunch hour for lingerie. A guy was whacking off in front of the Maidenform mannequin. But it wasn't all about sex because he kept telling the manneguin it was beautiful and that he loved her. But, alas, the police showed up and another good one got away. lol!

Geoff, you are talking to a one-time World's Biggest Fan of Kim Cattrall. She turned me on in Porky's and I fell in love with Gracie Law in Big Trouble in Little China.

I even liked her in Bonfire of the Vanities.

But that Sex & the City crap has really put me off her.

From the article:

Security staff at the Pavilion say they have noticed the same mannequin has previously been found undressed on several occasions

Apparently that mannequin gets around. I think they should fire her, as this is obviously not an isolated incident.

No drugs or alcohol appear to have been involved.

Pity.

I fell in love with Gracie Law in Big Trouble in Little China.

I can quote most of that movie by heart, of course. But did you see her brief shower scene in Split Second? [A movie that actually had half-way decent characters and dialogue, plus Rutger Hauer, but a crap plot]

I think Rutger Hauer is a decent actor, but I generally keep away from his movies. Nothing announces "Crap" more clearly than "Starring Rutger Hauer," unless it's "Starring Eric Roberts."

Nothing announces "Crap" more clearly than "Starring Rutger Hauer," unless it's "Starring Eric Roberts."

I hear the announcement more as: "Crap which can be really funny with enough drinking." Maybe your annoucement got cut short.

Oh, and now you're going to have an impossible time getting the concept of a Roberts-Hauer buddy movie screenplay out of your head.

Some commenter noticed that the lousy Poseidon Adventure remake was the first time Rutger Hauer and C. Thomas Howell have worked together since The Hitcher. Maybe they can do another buddy picture; who knows, maybe this time Kim Catrall could get ripped in half.

Not that I have anything against Ms. Catrall. Honestly, she's quite attractive for a creature of her age and species.

I've also heard Andrew Sullivan was caught with his willy in a man named Quinn.

I will not hear you animals talk that way about Lt. Valeris. Someone had to make the tough choices to try to save the Federation.

I hold the contrarian view that STVI is the best Trek movie ever, because (among its other strong points) unlike STII it maintains the original series's tradition of social commentary.

I can't believe you are ragging on the woman because she had the nerve to get old. Jeesh.

Look, when you're having hot-flashes, you shouldn't be out there doing the sex-kitten routine.

But that Sex & the City crap has really put me off her.

I can't believe you are ragging on the woman because she had the nerve to get old. Jeesh.

Oh, lighten up, Francis. She's getting a hard time in this thread because a) she played a mannequin in a movie; and b) it was about twenty years ago. She's an aging former starlet, but plenty of people have aged less gracefully. Rutger Hauer, for instance.

What utron said.

FWIW, I hope I look as good when I'm 70.

Damn! One thing is for sure, make sure you don't get caught doing anything bad in Iowa because if you do they print your friggin address in the paper. I can just see people dropping by this guys house yelling "Mannequin Humper, Mannequin Humper". He's also only 18 so it probably his parents house.

link this

I am becoming convinced more and more every day that penises (penii?) cause insanity.

I thought it was common knowledge.

Sue,

Your theory fails due to a little known phenomenon called the "Dowd Effect".

In the case of people suffering from DE, it's the lack of penii in one's life (penises?) that causes the insanity.

Of course there is the MST3K take on Kim Cattrall:

"Oh, Kim Cattrall"
from City Limits

Transcribed by Alana Olson

[On the Satellite:]

CROW: Hello. Good day. Happy to see you. I, Crow T. Robot have penned a little ditty in honor of the star of today's experiment, Kim Cattrall. It's called "Oh, Kim Cattrall," by Crow T. Robot. Sung by Crow T. Robot. It's marked allegro con brio, Kershell listing 643.

Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Kim Kim Kim Kim Cattrall
You were in Mannequin and that was a really good movie,
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Caaa-Traaaall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Cattrall
Kim Kim Kim Cattrall
You've never made a bad film.
Oh, what the hell,
Ring my bell,
Let's go to the Dells,
Our relationship will gel.
I like your smell,
You're really swell,
I'm Charlton Heston for Contel.
I love you Kim (I liked your dress at the Ace Awards) Cattrall.

Sooo Ace, what'd bail set you back this time?

As they frog march the guy out "Look if you'll all just leave she'll turn back into a real woman. I swear!"

Yeah Kim turned me off in Sex in the City. But even at 90 she's still waaaay hotter than Sarah Jessica Nose-Big-Enough-for-a-Somali-family-to-live-in Parker.

I am becoming convinced more and more every day that penises (penii?) cause insanity.

After years of hard research and stiff challenges from upright members of the scientific community, a growing body of data suggests that a link between women and penii frequently leads to temporary insanity, with symptoms resembling Tourettes' Syndrome.

The thrust of the study was intended to prick holes in the long-standing myth of male intellectual superiority, following position papers spread by researchers in the field suggest that men had been on top for too long.

I can see the headlines DUMMY HAS SEX WITH A DUMMY athough its hard to tell which one is the real dummy