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November 18, 2005
Washington Rocked As Another "Pro-War" Democrat Demands WithdrawalDefection of Hawkish Dennis Kucinich Signals Shift In Public Sentiment On War EXCLUSIVE. MUST CREDIT ACE. W A S H I N G T O N -- Moderate, formerly pro-war ex-Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich shocked the Bush Administration yesterday by announcing his withdrawal of support for the war -- and his support of a withdrawal. Washington media was abuzz about the defection. One ABCNews reporter noted that Kucinich has previously made "literally dozens" of speeches in which he showed his strong support for the war by not mentioning at all, choosing instead to rail against Walmart, Bush's tax cuts, or the war in Afghanistan. Immediately dubbing the Patton-like figure "Bomber" Kucinich, the Washington press corps -- not all of whom have yet been diagnosed as mentally retarded -- speculated as to the ramifications of what they are calling "the Kucinich Moment." The announcement couldn't come at a worse time for the Bush Administration, as Thurdsday is traditionally the day Washington reporters are allowed out of their assisted-living group homes to engage in "Esteem Activities" and "Adventure Walks," such as travelling to the local Popeye's chicken. Reporters took a break from painting with watercolors to join the frenzy. A grizzled veteran of the Washington media paused as he sipped from his Juice Box and hinted darkly that it's all over for Bush. He then began screaming "I'm smaaaaaahhht! I'm smaaahhht!" like Fredo in The Godfather Part II until he was sedated with a retard-strength tranq gun. White House staffers scrambled to contain the damage. Some commentators "questioned the timing" that Bush announced a Very Special T-Ball tournament for the weekend. The White House communications office admitted it had been caught flat-footed and had no idea how to push back against the media firestorm, but that the old methods -- ice cream and balloons -- might not be enough this time. "If you've lost Dennis Kucinich, you've lost the heartland," one CBS reporter said as he ate a sandwich consisting of turkey, swiss, and a bowling shoe. He then offered his opinion that "Dinosaurs are neat." posted by Ace at 09:50 AM
CommentsMurtha is the new Sheehan. I've already hit the "start" button on my timer for his 15 minutes of MSM "fame". Posted by: Fred on November 18, 2005 10:12 AM
Murtha has been calling for withdrawal since June of '04. Whay is it news now? Because "Mother Sheehan" has no creditability with the American people. So, the Democrats, and their allies in the media, trot out John Murtha. Yes, Murtha is a decorated Marine veteran. Does that make his opinion more valid than mine? After all, I'm a decorated Navy veteran. Posted by: MCPO Airdale on November 18, 2005 10:13 AM
You shouldn't call the Washington press corp retarded. It's unfair to the retarded people. Posted by: on November 18, 2005 10:24 AM
I wonder how long it will be before Murtha handcuffs himself to the White House fence? Posted by: Slublog on November 18, 2005 10:26 AM
Republicans have to start calling what the Democrats want to do by its proper name: Surrender Posted by: V the K on November 18, 2005 10:29 AM
Oh, damn, that was funny Ace. Posted by: lauraw on November 18, 2005 10:45 AM
I am about ready to have a stroke over what Murtha did. Could you use your mighty blog powers and get something going to punish him. I'm thinking nastygrams! Start a contest to devise downloadable Posted by: hazegray on November 18, 2005 10:47 AM
I know what you mean, hazegray. This one made me want to leap out of my cubicle and make a "WWWAAAAWRRRRRR!!!!" sound. Because this guy ought to know just how wrong and in how many ways what he's asking is. Better than cubicle monkey me. Posted by: S. Weasel on November 18, 2005 11:06 AM
Thank you Ace, Another classic Ace in the Hole. I wonder if some foolish reporter from the Philly Inquirer will run with this story like they did with Protein Wisdom's scoop, when he virtual blogged the bloggers gathering. Keep up the good work. Posted by: NJRob on November 18, 2005 11:25 AM
Oh come on, as a former Marine he's only following Chesty's dictate "we aren't retreating, we are just attacking in a different direction" ...except without the attacking part Posted by: monkeyboy on November 18, 2005 11:26 AM
Brilliant! Scrappleface will be after your scalp... and speaking of retards, will they be played by Rosie O'Donnell in the movie? Posted by: Allan on November 18, 2005 11:37 AM
Tonight only, a very special Hallmark Gold Crown Movie Event: Riding the Bus with the Washington Press Corps. Posted by: Sean M. on November 18, 2005 11:57 AM
It gets funnier and funnier. Just heard on the radio that John Kerry says he won't stand for the "swift boating" of Murtha. Posted by: Border Reiver on November 18, 2005 12:09 PM
Today's NYT editorial page brought to you by: 3M construction paper, Elmer's Glue-All, Mueller's elbow macaroni, and Crayola. Posted by: Sue Dohnim on November 18, 2005 01:10 PM
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Update to the video of a Russian soldier being spun around and thrown by the machinegun he was operating: The soldier was testing an old, archaic Russian machinegun intended to be mounted to a helicopter. The old gun was pressed into service as a possible anti-drone gun. The Russian army is generally depleted and being forced to bring a lot of old, unreliable weapons and platforms to the front.
Also: Ukranian drones have
Top Men!
FDA is providing an update regarding the sample of lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms de Mexico which was reported positive on July 18, 2026. Due to the complexity in detection of Cyclospora, FDA laboratory experts re-reviewed the sample results and have concluded that the finding does not represent true amplification and should be considered a false positive. Information about the sample has been removed from the July 18, 2026, update below. FDA has notified Taylor Farms and continues working with the firm to ensure product implicated in this outbreak has been removed from the market. FDA and state partners continue to collect and analyze product samples. As of July 19, 2026, there are no confirmed positive sample results for product testing for Cyclospora.[CBD]
FEDERAL APPEALS COURT STRIKES DOWN
NJ "ASSAULT WEAPONS" BAN/MAGAZINE BAN! Let's see if it reverts to the previous 15 round limit or I can actually run my weapons as God intended! [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Northern Lights Division
Our topic today is music That's right, like 'Cause my brother and I are now experts in the field, eh Yeah, right, 'cause we're a band now Uh, yeah, so Except for him, I'm a band Aw, how can you do that? You're making me look bad You're such a Hosehead
CNBC ranks Tennessee as dead last in its “Worst States to Live” analysis. The specific reason is that cross-dressing men in TN are denied access to children and women’s private spaces. Texas finished 49th. The “worst” states were all red states. [Buck]
Senator Lindsey Graham (R - SC) has died after a "brief and sudden illness." [Buck]
The "Evel Knievel Experience," a museum dedicated to the famous daredevil, opens in (where else) Las Vegas
Well I guess they could have opened it on the Snake Canyon.
In response to someone asking why the video tape doesn't show Tyler Robinson's face (PS, it does, but it's crappy video so it's blurry):
Candace OwensFor such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination.
More "fedslop" that Cavernous Nostrils is too smart to be taken in by:
Blake Neff Fenix Ammunition Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round. Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
And a song with another song as an intro, too: Be it sight, sound, smell, or touch There's something Inside that we need so much The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound Or the strength of an oak with roots deep in the ground The wonder of flowers to be covered and then to burst up Thru tarmac, to the sun again Boy do they look like absolute dorks. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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