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November 18, 2005
Update On Guy Who Cut Off His Mangerines In Tribute To Winning Rugby TeamGeoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England. Why'd he do it? Well, he's still not really sure. A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. He's also at a loss to reproduce by natural means. You know, we all have silly ideas like this. "If I get this promotion, I'll burn down the office just to show how much I appreciate it." Or, "Jesus, this coffee is so good I think I'll stick my hand into this industrial saw and maim myself." Or, "I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." The only thing separating him from a lot of us is follow-through. And for that he should be praised. Related: Man Mistakes Penis For Chicken-Neck, Cuts It Off, Feeds It To Dog. posted by Ace at 10:36 AM
CommentsWell I for one am quite relieved that this fucktard has removed his ability to reproduce. Yet he says he wants to have children, so maybe he'll adopt. Yeah, right. I am sitting here, still in some sort of amazement, thinking about being so screwed in the head that a guy takes a dull set of wire cutters and slowly, over a span of ten minutes, cuts off his own nuts. I barely snipped my bag with a pair of sharp scissors one time doing some 'maintenance' and damned near threw up. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 10:49 AM
Compos "Poopy-pants" Mentis trims his bush. With scissors. Wow. More and more material for the next flame war. Posted by: ace on November 18, 2005 10:55 AM
So in other words nothing new happened, no new information, they just wanted another bite at this story to fill up dead tree space. It's a nice object lesson, however, that a reporter couldn't bring himself to suggest the answer of "extreme mental illness" that 99.9% of the readership would arrive at, objectivity and what not. The other 00.1% know that you're not supposed to cut them off when your teams wins, you'rs supposed to cut one off, shuck it out of the casing, sew it back in with the other one, and use the casing to make a handy change purse with your team logo branded on it. I mean, duh.. Posted by: Tom on November 18, 2005 10:58 AM
When I read the guy's first-person account of his denuttification, you couldn't have uncrossed my legs with the jaws of life. Sure, this idiot gets mad props for removing himself from the gene pool, but I really, really don't want to hear about the specifics. Fair warning: if it turns out that rugby's Number-One Fan made a video of the procedure (at this point, I'm not ruling anything out) and anyone "helpfully" provides a link to said video, then I will find that person. And they will regret it. Posted by: utron on November 18, 2005 10:59 AM
Sometimes you just have to say "what the fuck." He clearly did . . . Posted by: Sharkman on November 18, 2005 11:04 AM
Trimmed. Not trims. It was several years back and it was the first and last damned time a pair of scissors has been anywhere near my package. And I could say that I had tea bagged your mother and she wouldn't let go so I threatened to trim her moustache but got myself instead. Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:10 AM
Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. My wife offered to do the pre-op shave for me. I took one look at the razor nick on her knee, and said "thanks honey, I got it". No effing way the hand that rocked the cradle was getting anywhere near the twins with a razor. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
"So I started hacking away at my tackle." I'd like to say something funny here, but . . . whew, I . . . um . . . speechless. Posted by: adolfo velasquez on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
Friday flamewar time Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:24 AM
Am I the only one that thinks this guy is a lock for this year's Darwin Awards? Posted by: HayZeus on November 18, 2005 11:56 AM
What's a Friday at Ace of Spades HQ without a little genital mutilation? :) Posted by: on November 18, 2005 02:19 PM
"I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." It's amazing how every day, I learn new things about the Ace o' SpadesTM lifestyle. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:48 PM
Wait a minute. Testing, testingTM. Does this superscript thing work? Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
No, I guess it doesn't. Hey ace, your blog is broken. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Stephen Miller: The courts are attempting to unconstitutionally enshrine open borders into law by imposing an "infinite process" on deportations.
They're too cowardly to admit what they're doing and just say, "We don't like the way they people voted and who they voted for, so we're deposing the president through a judicial coup." Instead, they're just making it so that we can have a nominal law that allows the deportations of foreign criminals and gang members, but we're also going to impose "due process" requirements that will guarantee all illegals a lifetime residency in the US.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: The Last Days of Yacht Rock Edition
Introduce me to that big blonde She's got a touch of Tuesday Weld She's wearing Ambush and a French twist She's got us wild and she can tell 80% yacht, 20% rock.
George Clooney now looks like Bela Lugosi from Ed Wood
In this "interview," Jake Tapper claims that Clooney writing an op-ed at the instigation of Barack Obama was "brave," and Clooney returns the favor by telling Jake Tapper that "journalists" are brave and irreplaceable. It's the world's least enticing gay porn.
Prepare for a shock: Former (?) Handgun Control, Inc. spokesman Jake Tapper lies about the background of his hard-left political agitator guest, presenting him as merely an "FSU student" and allowing him to claim Republicans have blood on their hands for the recent school shooting
However, D'Onofrio isn't some dispassionate observer. He's not just some random FSU student. It doesn't sound like he was anywhere in the neighborhood of the shooting, either. He was brought on primarily to talk about the politics, but was presented as an FSU student to try and leverage sympathy for his position.
The Pope has died. [Weirddave]
The price of eggs has dropped from an average of $8/dozen to $3.13/dozen but Democrats are claiming Easter eggs prices are up. I guess all of the non- or anti-Christian "fact" checkers in the media are taking the day off, for some reason.
Trump offers Easter wishes
Happy Easter! BTW, I read that this is the first time in years the White House website has offered an Easter prayer. Every other religion and fake religion got promoted by Biden, but not Christianity. Oh, and NPR's Easter story is that "Trump seeks corporate sponsors for Easter egg roll." Obviously every president does this, but this communist propaganda organization only points it out now, after having denied the Biden's family influence-farming operations for a decade.
An idiot congressman tries to get us into a shooting war with Russia! Brian Fitzpatrick represents Pennsylvania... very, very poorly. [CBD]
Trump commented on the Biden Presidency: "Worst administration in our country's history. Jimmy Carter died a happy man. You know why? Because he wasn't the worst president, Joe Biden was."
Murderer in FSU shooting identified; he is the son of a sheriff's deputy who had access to his mother's guns
Bill Melugin
Biden's FBI Ordered TN Highway Patrol to Release 'Maryland Man' Recently Deported to El Salvador After He Was Detained in 2022 Traffic Stop on Suspicion of Human Trafficking
Sounds like this guy is in exactly the correct place: out of America and in an El Salvador prison! Thank you President Trump! [CBD] ![]()
Trump admin hits Letitia James with criminal referral to DOJ over alleged mortgage fraud She thought a permanent Democrat government would protect her! [CBD]
To Fly, You'll Soon Need a REAL ID
What could go wrong? [CBD] Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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