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November 18, 2005
Update On Guy Who Cut Off His Mangerines In Tribute To Winning Rugby TeamGeoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England. Why'd he do it? Well, he's still not really sure. A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. He's also at a loss to reproduce by natural means. You know, we all have silly ideas like this. "If I get this promotion, I'll burn down the office just to show how much I appreciate it." Or, "Jesus, this coffee is so good I think I'll stick my hand into this industrial saw and maim myself." Or, "I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." The only thing separating him from a lot of us is follow-through. And for that he should be praised. Related: Man Mistakes Penis For Chicken-Neck, Cuts It Off, Feeds It To Dog. posted by Ace at 10:36 AM
CommentsWell I for one am quite relieved that this fucktard has removed his ability to reproduce. Yet he says he wants to have children, so maybe he'll adopt. Yeah, right. I am sitting here, still in some sort of amazement, thinking about being so screwed in the head that a guy takes a dull set of wire cutters and slowly, over a span of ten minutes, cuts off his own nuts. I barely snipped my bag with a pair of sharp scissors one time doing some 'maintenance' and damned near threw up. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 10:49 AM
Compos "Poopy-pants" Mentis trims his bush. With scissors. Wow. More and more material for the next flame war. Posted by: ace on November 18, 2005 10:55 AM
So in other words nothing new happened, no new information, they just wanted another bite at this story to fill up dead tree space. It's a nice object lesson, however, that a reporter couldn't bring himself to suggest the answer of "extreme mental illness" that 99.9% of the readership would arrive at, objectivity and what not. The other 00.1% know that you're not supposed to cut them off when your teams wins, you'rs supposed to cut one off, shuck it out of the casing, sew it back in with the other one, and use the casing to make a handy change purse with your team logo branded on it. I mean, duh.. Posted by: Tom on November 18, 2005 10:58 AM
When I read the guy's first-person account of his denuttification, you couldn't have uncrossed my legs with the jaws of life. Sure, this idiot gets mad props for removing himself from the gene pool, but I really, really don't want to hear about the specifics. Fair warning: if it turns out that rugby's Number-One Fan made a video of the procedure (at this point, I'm not ruling anything out) and anyone "helpfully" provides a link to said video, then I will find that person. And they will regret it. Posted by: utron on November 18, 2005 10:59 AM
Sometimes you just have to say "what the fuck." He clearly did . . . Posted by: Sharkman on November 18, 2005 11:04 AM
Trimmed. Not trims. It was several years back and it was the first and last damned time a pair of scissors has been anywhere near my package. And I could say that I had tea bagged your mother and she wouldn't let go so I threatened to trim her moustache but got myself instead. Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:10 AM
Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. My wife offered to do the pre-op shave for me. I took one look at the razor nick on her knee, and said "thanks honey, I got it". No effing way the hand that rocked the cradle was getting anywhere near the twins with a razor. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
"So I started hacking away at my tackle." I'd like to say something funny here, but . . . whew, I . . . um . . . speechless. Posted by: adolfo velasquez on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
Friday flamewar time Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:24 AM
Am I the only one that thinks this guy is a lock for this year's Darwin Awards? Posted by: HayZeus on November 18, 2005 11:56 AM
What's a Friday at Ace of Spades HQ without a little genital mutilation? :) Posted by: on November 18, 2005 02:19 PM
"I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." It's amazing how every day, I learn new things about the Ace o' SpadesTM lifestyle. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:48 PM
Wait a minute. Testing, testingTM. Does this superscript thing work? Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
No, I guess it doesn't. Hey ace, your blog is broken. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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