Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021

Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« Washington Rocked As Another "Pro-War" Democrat Demands Withdrawal | Main | Mon Dieu! French Diplomat Admits Taking Saddam Cash »
November 18, 2005

Update On Guy Who Cut Off His Mangerines In Tribute To Winning Rugby Team

This guy.

A recap:

Geoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England.

After performing the deed, Mr Huish put his severed anatomy in a bag and took them to his local social club to show fellow fans.

Why'd he do it? Well, he's still not really sure.

A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it.

He's also at a loss to reproduce by natural means.

You know, we all have silly ideas like this. "If I get this promotion, I'll burn down the office just to show how much I appreciate it." Or, "Jesus, this coffee is so good I think I'll stick my hand into this industrial saw and maim myself." Or, "I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment."

The only thing separating him from a lot of us is follow-through. And for that he should be praised.

Related: Man Mistakes Penis For Chicken-Neck, Cuts It Off, Feeds It To Dog.


posted by Ace at 10:36 AM
Comments



Well I for one am quite relieved that this fucktard has removed his ability to reproduce.

Yet he says he wants to have children, so maybe he'll adopt. Yeah, right.

I am sitting here, still in some sort of amazement, thinking about being so screwed in the head that a guy takes a dull set of wire cutters and slowly, over a span of ten minutes, cuts off his own nuts.

I barely snipped my bag with a pair of sharp scissors one time doing some 'maintenance' and damned near threw up.

Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 10:49 AM

Compos "Poopy-pants" Mentis trims his bush. With scissors.

Wow. More and more material for the next flame war.

Posted by: ace on November 18, 2005 10:55 AM

So in other words nothing new happened, no new information, they just wanted another bite at this story to fill up dead tree space.

It's a nice object lesson, however, that a reporter couldn't bring himself to suggest the answer of "extreme mental illness" that 99.9% of the readership would arrive at, objectivity and what not.

The other 00.1% know that you're not supposed to cut them off when your teams wins, you'rs supposed to cut one off, shuck it out of the casing, sew it back in with the other one, and use the casing to make a handy change purse with your team logo branded on it.

I mean, duh..

Posted by: Tom on November 18, 2005 10:58 AM

When I read the guy's first-person account of his denuttification, you couldn't have uncrossed my legs with the jaws of life. Sure, this idiot gets mad props for removing himself from the gene pool, but I really, really don't want to hear about the specifics.

Fair warning: if it turns out that rugby's Number-One Fan made a video of the procedure (at this point, I'm not ruling anything out) and anyone "helpfully" provides a link to said video, then I will find that person. And they will regret it.

Posted by: utron on November 18, 2005 10:59 AM

Sometimes you just have to say "what the fuck." He clearly did . . .

Posted by: Sharkman on November 18, 2005 11:04 AM

Trimmed. Not trims. It was several years back and it was the first and last damned time a pair of scissors has been anywhere near my package.

And I could say that I had tea bagged your mother and she wouldn't let go so I threatened to trim her moustache but got myself instead.

Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak.

Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:10 AM

Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak.

My wife offered to do the pre-op shave for me. I took one look at the razor nick on her knee, and said "thanks honey, I got it".

No effing way the hand that rocked the cradle was getting anywhere near the twins with a razor.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM

"So I started hacking away at my tackle."

I'd like to say something funny here, but . . . whew, I . . . um . . . speechless.

Posted by: adolfo velasquez on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM

Friday flamewar time
Ace calls Compos poopy pants
Prepare for battle!!

Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:24 AM

Am I the only one that thinks this guy is a lock for this year's Darwin Awards?

Posted by: HayZeus on November 18, 2005 11:56 AM

What's a Friday at Ace of Spades HQ without a little genital mutilation? :)

Posted by: on November 18, 2005 02:19 PM

"I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment."

It's amazing how every day, I learn new things about the Ace o' SpadesTM lifestyle.

Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:48 PM

Wait a minute. Testing, testingTM. Does this superscript thing work?

Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM

No, I guess it doesn't. Hey ace, your blog is broken.

Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Maori men in NZ do a haka war display for Charlie Kirk
You vicious bastards shot the wrong man. You have set the world on fire. This will be your apocalypse.
Nick Freitas responds to the Left's intentional lies that they are always the victim and the Right is always the oppressor. He refuses to play their game anymore. This is a must view. [dri]
I wonder if he was fearless. I wonder if he was scared. I wonder if he just did it anyway?
-- Mike Rowe
Low-T High-Calorie Potato Brian Stelter: "Matthew Dowd is no longer an MSNBC political analyst, according to a network source."
Matt Dowd, former Disney Groomer Corporation Political Director and John McCain advisor (of course), is the one who blamed Charlie Kirk's shooting on the real assassin, Charlie Kirk, claiming that Charlie's "hateful words lead to hateful actions."
Trump speaks about the "heinous assassination" of Charlie Kirk, notes the left relentlessly demonized him until they radicalized an assassin to kill him
"For years, the radical left has compared wonderful Americans like Charlie to NAZlS... this type of language is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the terrorism we're seeing in our country today.
And it must stop RIGHT NOW!"
Argentinian PM Javier Millei: "The left is always, at all times and places, a violent phenomenon full of hatred."
I disregard their hate. It's the violence that we object to. And we will begin objecting to it with force.
Update: Kash Patel says the person of interest has been interrogated and then released. Wrong guy, I guess.
But as the hours pass without a real suspect, and with the FBI apparently interrogating uninvolved people, I begin to fear the assassin has escaped. I mean, they don't seem to be following a breadcrumb trail, they seem genuinely baffled.
Karol Sheinin: I can confirm the person of interest questioned by the FBI is Zachariah Ahmed Qureshi.
If this is the guy -- apparently he also interned at Heritage.
Update: Source says he's been released? Wrong guy?
Fat-F*ck Pritzker blames Trump's rhetoric for the ramp up of political violence! May he rot in hell! [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Jim Lakely of Heartland.org joins us to discuss the blockbuster polls they have released over the last week. Americans 19-39 seem to be embracing socialism, overt redistributionist policies, destruction of our rights, and international control of our country! But there is hope on the horizon!
Broward County Officials Accused of Adding Over 100,000 Ineligible Voters to the Rolls It is too soon to know how it happened, but...Republicans are watching! And that is how it is done. [CBD]
Federal judge temporarily blocks Trump from firing Federal Reserve Gov Lisa Cook With absolutely nonsensical reasoning, but you already knew that. [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: 2A ban for trannies? Venezuela attack is Congress dropping the ball, RFK Jr...Maniac or disrupter? Heartland.org poll is a sad commentary on American education, and more!
James Varney: Reflecting on Hurricane Katrina twenty years later, and the partisan uses Democrats found for it
There was fear aplenty. But the truth is, a lot of the panic Americans saw on television was performative. The throngs of people along Convention Center Boulevard sat patiently in the broiling weather, five or six deep in folding chairs on the sidewalk, waiting for something, someone, to arrive. Then, a television crew or photographer would show up, and people would pour into the street, falling on their knees, screaming and gesticulating to the camera. It was an awful situation, obviously, but when the camera wasn't on them, it was remarkable how patient and orderly everyone was.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: the most repetitive but catchy earworm of the eighties?
Sometimes, I find you doubt my love for you but I don't mind
Why should I mind? Why should I mind?

It's hard to quote the song while avoiding quoting from the endlessly-repeated chorus.
Wait, my mistake, his other hit from 1985 was the most repetitive new wave hit of the 80s.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I'm gonna get high, man, I'm gonna get loose/
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Recent Comments
nurse ratched: "*pops popcorn* ..."

Diogenes: "There are certain nics I simply scroll past. Th ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "I am surprised you need this explained Posted by: ..."

Berserker-Dragonheads Division : "You are right, Rush moved in those circles for a l ..."

She Hobbit: "There are certain nics I simply scroll past. Th ..."

n: "I’ve made it. I’ve been called a ̶ ..."

NYC History Lesson: "I saw an interview last week with a higher up reti ..."

BruceWayne: "There's a 'their arms get tired quick' joke in the ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "SpaceX . 8h Unlimited opportunities and tangibl ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Rush was the black sheep of his family, the one wh ..."

BruceWayne: "Hansel. So hot right now. Posted by: BruceWayne ..."

Disinterested FDA Director: "Rush is not Paul Ryan. He always seemed to be the ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives