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November 18, 2005
Update On Guy Who Cut Off His Mangerines In Tribute To Winning Rugby TeamGeoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England. Why'd he do it? Well, he's still not really sure. A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. He's also at a loss to reproduce by natural means. You know, we all have silly ideas like this. "If I get this promotion, I'll burn down the office just to show how much I appreciate it." Or, "Jesus, this coffee is so good I think I'll stick my hand into this industrial saw and maim myself." Or, "I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." The only thing separating him from a lot of us is follow-through. And for that he should be praised. Related: Man Mistakes Penis For Chicken-Neck, Cuts It Off, Feeds It To Dog. posted by Ace at 10:36 AM
CommentsWell I for one am quite relieved that this fucktard has removed his ability to reproduce. Yet he says he wants to have children, so maybe he'll adopt. Yeah, right. I am sitting here, still in some sort of amazement, thinking about being so screwed in the head that a guy takes a dull set of wire cutters and slowly, over a span of ten minutes, cuts off his own nuts. I barely snipped my bag with a pair of sharp scissors one time doing some 'maintenance' and damned near threw up. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 10:49 AM
Compos "Poopy-pants" Mentis trims his bush. With scissors. Wow. More and more material for the next flame war. Posted by: ace on November 18, 2005 10:55 AM
So in other words nothing new happened, no new information, they just wanted another bite at this story to fill up dead tree space. It's a nice object lesson, however, that a reporter couldn't bring himself to suggest the answer of "extreme mental illness" that 99.9% of the readership would arrive at, objectivity and what not. The other 00.1% know that you're not supposed to cut them off when your teams wins, you'rs supposed to cut one off, shuck it out of the casing, sew it back in with the other one, and use the casing to make a handy change purse with your team logo branded on it. I mean, duh.. Posted by: Tom on November 18, 2005 10:58 AM
When I read the guy's first-person account of his denuttification, you couldn't have uncrossed my legs with the jaws of life. Sure, this idiot gets mad props for removing himself from the gene pool, but I really, really don't want to hear about the specifics. Fair warning: if it turns out that rugby's Number-One Fan made a video of the procedure (at this point, I'm not ruling anything out) and anyone "helpfully" provides a link to said video, then I will find that person. And they will regret it. Posted by: utron on November 18, 2005 10:59 AM
Sometimes you just have to say "what the fuck." He clearly did . . . Posted by: Sharkman on November 18, 2005 11:04 AM
Trimmed. Not trims. It was several years back and it was the first and last damned time a pair of scissors has been anywhere near my package. And I could say that I had tea bagged your mother and she wouldn't let go so I threatened to trim her moustache but got myself instead. Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:10 AM
Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. My wife offered to do the pre-op shave for me. I took one look at the razor nick on her knee, and said "thanks honey, I got it". No effing way the hand that rocked the cradle was getting anywhere near the twins with a razor. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
"So I started hacking away at my tackle." I'd like to say something funny here, but . . . whew, I . . . um . . . speechless. Posted by: adolfo velasquez on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
Friday flamewar time Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:24 AM
Am I the only one that thinks this guy is a lock for this year's Darwin Awards? Posted by: HayZeus on November 18, 2005 11:56 AM
What's a Friday at Ace of Spades HQ without a little genital mutilation? :) Posted by: on November 18, 2005 02:19 PM
"I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." It's amazing how every day, I learn new things about the Ace o' SpadesTM lifestyle. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:48 PM
Wait a minute. Testing, testingTM. Does this superscript thing work? Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
No, I guess it doesn't. Hey ace, your blog is broken. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
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Support a Moron running in deep blue CT to unseat a leftist hack!
Darrell Harris For CT State Representative. [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click, Guitar Hero Edition
Oh here it comes That funny feeling again winding me up inside Every time we touch Hey I don't know Oh, tell me where to begin cause I never ever Felt so much Okay, that was pretty easy. Here's one that's 3% harder. But still easy. Ooh, can you feel the static? So many contacts being made We've got up-front fanatics Tearing down the barricade To reach the stage Can you feel the rage?
Dear RNC; Go f*ck yourselves. I have gotten 56 texts in the last two weeks...all offensive and sneaky and all begging for money. At this point I would rather donate to AOC. [CBD]
BIG NEWS UPDATE NOT FIRED from anon2020 So what, she quit? Megyn Kelly (accursed be her name) used to say all the time that Fox has a top female PR person who is a nasty pitbull and leaks nasty claims about anyone Fox is at war with, including those who have left the network. So I guess maybe she technically resigned? I don't know. NEW: @FoxNews has obtained Lindsay Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington's appeal filing to the MA Supreme Court, which includes Reddington accusing the lone holdout juror of being "biased" against those with "debilitating mental illness", which he says is a protected category. Thanks to Mark1971
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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