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November 18, 2005
Update On Guy Who Cut Off His Mangerines In Tribute To Winning Rugby TeamGeoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England. Why'd he do it? Well, he's still not really sure. A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. He's also at a loss to reproduce by natural means. You know, we all have silly ideas like this. "If I get this promotion, I'll burn down the office just to show how much I appreciate it." Or, "Jesus, this coffee is so good I think I'll stick my hand into this industrial saw and maim myself." Or, "I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." The only thing separating him from a lot of us is follow-through. And for that he should be praised. Related: Man Mistakes Penis For Chicken-Neck, Cuts It Off, Feeds It To Dog. posted by Ace at 10:36 AM
CommentsWell I for one am quite relieved that this fucktard has removed his ability to reproduce. Yet he says he wants to have children, so maybe he'll adopt. Yeah, right. I am sitting here, still in some sort of amazement, thinking about being so screwed in the head that a guy takes a dull set of wire cutters and slowly, over a span of ten minutes, cuts off his own nuts. I barely snipped my bag with a pair of sharp scissors one time doing some 'maintenance' and damned near threw up. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 10:49 AM
Compos "Poopy-pants" Mentis trims his bush. With scissors. Wow. More and more material for the next flame war. Posted by: ace on November 18, 2005 10:55 AM
So in other words nothing new happened, no new information, they just wanted another bite at this story to fill up dead tree space. It's a nice object lesson, however, that a reporter couldn't bring himself to suggest the answer of "extreme mental illness" that 99.9% of the readership would arrive at, objectivity and what not. The other 00.1% know that you're not supposed to cut them off when your teams wins, you'rs supposed to cut one off, shuck it out of the casing, sew it back in with the other one, and use the casing to make a handy change purse with your team logo branded on it. I mean, duh.. Posted by: Tom on November 18, 2005 10:58 AM
When I read the guy's first-person account of his denuttification, you couldn't have uncrossed my legs with the jaws of life. Sure, this idiot gets mad props for removing himself from the gene pool, but I really, really don't want to hear about the specifics. Fair warning: if it turns out that rugby's Number-One Fan made a video of the procedure (at this point, I'm not ruling anything out) and anyone "helpfully" provides a link to said video, then I will find that person. And they will regret it. Posted by: utron on November 18, 2005 10:59 AM
Sometimes you just have to say "what the fuck." He clearly did . . . Posted by: Sharkman on November 18, 2005 11:04 AM
Trimmed. Not trims. It was several years back and it was the first and last damned time a pair of scissors has been anywhere near my package. And I could say that I had tea bagged your mother and she wouldn't let go so I threatened to trim her moustache but got myself instead. Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:10 AM
Truth is I was having a vasectomy and needed to knock down the rough before I could shave the fairway, so to speak. My wife offered to do the pre-op shave for me. I took one look at the razor nick on her knee, and said "thanks honey, I got it". No effing way the hand that rocked the cradle was getting anywhere near the twins with a razor. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
"So I started hacking away at my tackle." I'd like to say something funny here, but . . . whew, I . . . um . . . speechless. Posted by: adolfo velasquez on November 18, 2005 11:20 AM
Friday flamewar time Posted by: compos mentis on November 18, 2005 11:24 AM
Am I the only one that thinks this guy is a lock for this year's Darwin Awards? Posted by: HayZeus on November 18, 2005 11:56 AM
What's a Friday at Ace of Spades HQ without a little genital mutilation? :) Posted by: on November 18, 2005 02:19 PM
"I really love it when the leaves turn color. I love the autumn so much that, damnit, I'm going to sell myself into degrading Thai gay prostitution and then wind up getting slashed to death under a bridge abutment." It's amazing how every day, I learn new things about the Ace o' SpadesTM lifestyle. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:48 PM
Wait a minute. Testing, testingTM. Does this superscript thing work? Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
No, I guess it doesn't. Hey ace, your blog is broken. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 18, 2005 04:50 PM
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Those of you who are longtime Not Watchers of Stephen Colbert will not enjoy this flashback of Colbert dancing with Chuck Schumer while wearing ostentatious covid masks
Rush Limbaugh was an innovator in so many ways, including being among the first to not watch Stephen Colbert
DNI Tulsi Gabbard tenders her resignation for June 30, says her husband has been diagnosed with a rare bone cancer and she will have to help him through this
After threatening that the "clock is ticking" for renewed strikes on Iran, Trump once again calls them off to give negotiating a chance.
I can't even cover this any more. It's embarrassing. It's like covering the endless negotiations over DHS funding. Trump is going to drag this out through the midterms and then lose them. Note to the president: At some point, allowing the Regime to remain in power without actually forcing them to give up nukes is just a back-door, unacknowledged renewal of the Obama policy. Well, I guess we just have to wait for their economy to collapse and their troops to desert.
Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?
Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust. Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
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