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November 15, 2005
Al Gore: The Most Serious Threat We Face Is... (Wait for It...) Global WarmingDude, you're fat, balding, and the hippest thing you've done in 40 years is have a pelvic exam. You're 50+, not 18; it's time to start acting like it. What changed in the US with hurricane Katrina was a feeling that we have entered a period of consequences and that bitter cup will be offered to us again and again until we exert our moral authority and respond appropriately," he says. "I don't want to diminish the threat of terrorism at all, it is extremely serious, but on a long-term global basis, global warming is the most serious problem we are facing." ... he said as he diminished the threat of terrorism. Almost as if to confirm his claims, three high-pressure systems caused by global warming strapped shrapnel-studded bombs to their bellies and detonated themselves in an Israeli nightclub, just before the classic "I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine" line from One Night In Bangkok. I question the timing. Because, you know, it's a really cool lyric. posted by Ace at 07:43 PM
CommentsGore is so fat that he's starting to resemble Ted Kennedy. Posted by: The Warden on November 15, 2005 07:54 PM
Poor irrelevant Algore; still stuck in Chicken Little mode. Can you imagine if this idiot had been President on 9/11? Posted by: zetetic on November 15, 2005 07:55 PM
Al Gore....Al Gore...I'm drawing a blank here. Wasn't he some kind of politico a long time ago? Didn't he have some dork-bait title like "assistant to the Undersecretary for Sewage and Solid Waste" or something like that? Posted by: Monty on November 15, 2005 07:56 PM
Reading that quote, I can just hear his sing song voice. bleh. Hey, ace! What's going on in the senate? Hewitt is going ballistic but doesn't quite say what happened. Posted by: on November 15, 2005 07:59 PM
You know, if Gore is so concerned about increasing the amount of hot air in the atmosphere, he could start by shutting his mouth. Posted by: Andrea Harris on November 15, 2005 08:01 PM
Urrgghh... that should read "the increasing amount of hot air" -- I don't know who inverted those two words. I blame George Bush. Posted by: Andrea Harris on November 15, 2005 08:02 PM
I don't know who inverted those two words. I blame George Bush. I blame global warming. Posted by: on November 15, 2005 08:08 PM
Was he exasperated with our ignorance and sighing throughout the speech, or screaming it a la "He betrayed this country! He played on our fears."? I'm curious which Al Gore we're dealing with, here. Posted by: Adolfo Velasquez on November 15, 2005 08:11 PM
Global warming is real, but its not caused by the reasons poor insane Al thinks. The trend started 300 years ago when the sun decided it was going to warm up a bit -- about 4W/square meter warmer than 300 years ago. I did some rough calculations a while ago and that 4W accounts for virtually ALL of the increase we've seen. At the very best we may be able to control around 1/2 of 1% of the increase over the past 300 years. Its more cost effective to launch some big mylar orbital solar shades. The moonbats also studiously avoid ever discussing water vapor as a "green house gas" -- because it happens to be the one that has the most effect of anything. The moonbat GHG's account for almost nothing. Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 15, 2005 08:15 PM
Scratch that! The most serious threat to the world is ca-ca. That's right, I said it. Capital C capital A, CA-CA! That is all. After all, it make's a hard man humble. ZING Posted by: Al Gore on November 15, 2005 08:16 PM
Global warming is responsible for my recent decline in traffic. It has nothing to do with the decreasing quality or quantity of my posts, I swear. Also, global warming cut me off on my drive in to work this morning, and doesn't know how to use a friggin turn signal. Posted by: Sobek on November 15, 2005 08:17 PM
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL YOU HOLD DEAR. Somebody give this guy his own daily show on Fox. We need to spread his message to the masses. We need lots of close-ups of him spitting foam into the camera lens in wide-eyed sincerity. We've grown complacent. Hell, I feel it. Do you feel it too? It feels a lot like right after you eat two Reuben sandwiches with extra sauerkraut. Scorching heartburn. Why isn't anybody doing something about it?? *copious weeping and gnashing of teeth* Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 08:18 PM
Capitalism is at a critical juncture, and now that Kyoto's in the toilet, I'm going to be on these investments like a fat woman on a toilet! Posted by: Al Gore on November 15, 2005 08:20 PM
Al is improving. I thought the most serious threat would be the VRWC. Posted by: on November 15, 2005 09:34 PM
I predict around 2025 the environmental movement will shift gears, and claim that the lack of worldwide catastrophe is thanks to all the Awareness they raised about Global Warming in the 90s-10s. Posted by: Eric J on November 15, 2005 09:35 PM
Is anybody else bothered by the fact that simps like this guy get elected to high office? The collection of chicklet brains that are in the US Senate now make my pothead college roommates look like Plato and his students. I know Al Gore is a fat gas-bag nobody now, but he was once Vice Fucking President- one rib dinner away from being the most powerful man in the world. Do smart people just stay away from politics now? Posted by: UGAdawg on November 15, 2005 09:38 PM
Do smart people just stay away from politics now? Yes, if you've ever done anything remotely unwholesome-seeming anywhere with anyone present. Obviously, I'm not a genius, and I doubt I'd make a good president. But if I were and if I would, I still wouldn't run. I've had a pretty clean life, I think. But not clean enough. I'm sure some former school friends could dig up some dirt on me which would make me very very uncomfortable to have plastered across the evening news worldwide. Posted by: SJKevin on November 15, 2005 09:47 PM
Is anybody else bothered by the fact that simps like this guy get elected to high office? Yeah. When you stop and think about it, it's a pretty compelling argument for a small and limited government. Posted by: on November 15, 2005 09:50 PM
UGAdawg, it takes a different kind of person. Most people have a better chance of having a happy life as an auto mechanic in this country than as a politician. Think of all the good working people you know who would make positive contributions once in office; could they hack the campaign? The media delving into their past? These days, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson wouldn't have a chance. Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 09:56 PM
you guys are right, but that's not the way it should be. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of a vicious media that salivates over any hint of scandal, and on the outrageously dirty tactics used by partisan political operatives now. I know the GOP is not blameless in this, but I see the worst excesses coming from the Democratic camps. Posted by: UGAdawg on November 15, 2005 10:07 PM
Your scientists will stumble upon it, as they have all the others...but the juvenile minds which you possess will NOT COMPREHEND ITS STRENGTH UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE! ... You see? You See? Your stupid minds! STUPID! STUPID! Posted by: Al Gore on November 16, 2005 12:11 AM
So true, LauraW. They certainly wouldn't get the black vote, what with owning slaves and all. Posted by: Bart on November 16, 2005 12:59 AM
I had totally forgotten about that song: One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble That's exactly how you feel after some serious drinking in Soi Cowboy. Posted by: Michael on November 16, 2005 01:29 AM
"Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham Suite" = possibly the gayest song lyric of all times Posted by: Knemon on November 16, 2005 02:50 AM
However, Mr. Gore would make an excellent fill in host of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. That voice. Posted by: fugazi on November 16, 2005 09:45 AM
Bart, you're a pain in the butt. Posted by: lauraw on November 16, 2005 11:05 AM
I thought the most serious threat would be the VRWC. And not our Zionist masters?? A little respect, please. Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 16, 2005 03:40 PM
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town ... Posted by: iamfelix on November 16, 2005 09:39 PM
The biggist amount of HOT AIR is comming from AL GORE and the rest of the eco-freaks ranting this poppycock why dont gore put some duct tape over his mouth it will sure cut down on the HOT AIR he spews Posted by: spurwing plover on November 16, 2005 11:00 PM
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Why does this keep happening to members of the "political organization" (per Tucker Carlson) of Hamas?!?!
Tucker Carlson claims that it's weird that Ted Cruz is interested in the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, because he has "no track record of being interested in Christians," then blows off the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, saying it might or might not be a real concern
Tucker Carlson enjoys using the left-wing tactic of "Tactical Ignorance" to avoid taking positions on topics. Is Hamas really a terrorist organization? Tucker can't say. He hasn't looked into it enough, but "it seems like a political organization to me." Are Muslims slaughtering Christians in Nigeria? Again, Tucker just doesn't know. He hasn't examined the evidence yet. He knows every Palestinian Christian who said he was blocked from visiting holy sites in Bethlehem, but he just hasn't had the time to look into the mass slaughter of Christians in Nigeria that has been going on since (checks watch) 2009. He doesn't know, so he can't offer an opinion. Wouldn't be prudent, you know? Don't rush him! He'll sift through the evidence at some point in the future and render an opinion sometime around 2044. Of course, if you need an opinion on Jewish Perfidy, he has all the facts at his fingertips and can give you a fully informed opinion pronto. Say, have you ever heard of the USS Liberty incident...? You'd think that the main issue for Tucker Carlson, who pretends to be so deeply concerned about Palestinian Christians being bullied by Jews in Israel (supposedly), would be the massacre of 185,000 Christians in Nigeria itself. But no, his main problem is that Ted Cruz is talking about it, "who has no track record of being interested in Christians at all." And then he just shrugs as to whether this is even a real issue or not. Whatever we do we must never "divide the right," huh? Tucker is attacking Ted Cruz for bringing the issue up because he's acting as an apologist for Jihadism, and he can't cleanly admit that Jihadists are killing any Christians, anywhere. There is no daylight between him and CAIR at this point. One might conclude that Tucker Carlson himself isn't interested in the plight of Christians -- except as they can be used as a cudgel to attack Jews. Just gonna ask an Interesting Question myself -- why is it that Tucker Carlson's arguments all track with those shit out by Qatarian propaganda agents and the far left? That if Jews crush an ant underfoot it is worldwide news, but when Muslims slaughter Christians it elicits not even a vigorous shrug?
Garth Merenghi is interviewed by the only man who can fathom his ineffable brilliance -- Garth Merenghi
From the comments: I once glimpsed Garth in the penumbra betwixt my wake and sleep. He was in my dream, standing afar, not looking my way, nor did he acknowledge me. But I felt seen. And that's when I knew I was a traveler on the right path. I'm glad he's still with us. Now that's some Merenghian prose. Garth Merenghi on the writer's craft Greetings, Traveler. If you still have not experienced Garth Merenghi -- Author, Dream-weaver, Visionary, plus Actor -- the six episodes of his Darkplace are still available on YouTube and supposedly upscaled to HD. (Viewing it now, it doesn't appeared upscaled for shit.) I think the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," is the best by a good margin. Try to at least watch through to that one. It's Mereghi's incisive but nuanced take on sexism.
Update on Scott Adams:
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