Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups






















« On the Show Today: Thomas Lipscomb and Hoke Malokey | Main | CSI: McDonald's »
November 15, 2005

Al Gore: The Most Serious Threat We Face Is... (Wait for It...) Global Warming

Dude, you're fat, balding, and the hippest thing you've done in 40 years is have a pelvic exam. You're 50+, not 18; it's time to start acting like it.

What changed in the US with hurricane Katrina was a feeling that we have entered a period of consequences and that bitter cup will be offered to us again and again until we exert our moral authority and respond appropriately," he says. "I don't want to diminish the threat of terrorism at all, it is extremely serious, but on a long-term global basis, global warming is the most serious problem we are facing."

... he said as he diminished the threat of terrorism.

Almost as if to confirm his claims, three high-pressure systems caused by global warming strapped shrapnel-studded bombs to their bellies and detonated themselves in an Israeli nightclub, just before the classic "I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine" line from One Night In Bangkok.

I question the timing. Because, you know, it's a really cool lyric.


posted by Ace at 07:43 PM
Comments



Gore is so fat that he's starting to resemble Ted Kennedy.

Posted by: The Warden on November 15, 2005 07:54 PM

Poor irrelevant Algore; still stuck in Chicken Little mode. Can you imagine if this idiot had been President on 9/11?

Posted by: zetetic on November 15, 2005 07:55 PM

Al Gore....Al Gore...I'm drawing a blank here. Wasn't he some kind of politico a long time ago? Didn't he have some dork-bait title like "assistant to the Undersecretary for Sewage and Solid Waste" or something like that?

Posted by: Monty on November 15, 2005 07:56 PM

Reading that quote, I can just hear his sing song voice. bleh.

Hey, ace! What's going on in the senate? Hewitt is going ballistic but doesn't quite say what happened.

Posted by: on November 15, 2005 07:59 PM

You know, if Gore is so concerned about increasing the amount of hot air in the atmosphere, he could start by shutting his mouth.

Posted by: Andrea Harris on November 15, 2005 08:01 PM

Urrgghh... that should read "the increasing amount of hot air" -- I don't know who inverted those two words. I blame George Bush.

Posted by: Andrea Harris on November 15, 2005 08:02 PM

I don't know who inverted those two words. I blame George Bush.

I blame global warming.

Posted by: on November 15, 2005 08:08 PM

Was he exasperated with our ignorance and sighing throughout the speech, or screaming it a la "He betrayed this country! He played on our fears."?

I'm curious which Al Gore we're dealing with, here.

Posted by: Adolfo Velasquez on November 15, 2005 08:11 PM

Global warming is real, but its not caused by the reasons poor insane Al thinks.

The trend started 300 years ago when the sun decided it was going to warm up a bit -- about 4W/square meter warmer than 300 years ago.

I did some rough calculations a while ago and that 4W accounts for virtually ALL of the increase we've seen. At the very best we may be able to control around 1/2 of 1% of the increase over the past 300 years.

Its more cost effective to launch some big mylar orbital solar shades.

The moonbats also studiously avoid ever discussing water vapor as a "green house gas" -- because it happens to be the one that has the most effect of anything. The moonbat GHG's account for almost nothing.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 15, 2005 08:15 PM

Scratch that!

The most serious threat to the world is ca-ca.

That's right, I said it.

Capital C capital A, CA-CA!

That is all.

After all, it make's a hard man humble.

ZING

Posted by: Al Gore on November 15, 2005 08:16 PM

Global warming is responsible for my recent decline in traffic.

It has nothing to do with the decreasing quality or quantity of my posts, I swear.

Also, global warming cut me off on my drive in to work this morning, and doesn't know how to use a friggin turn signal.

Posted by: Sobek on November 15, 2005 08:17 PM

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL YOU HOLD DEAR.

Somebody give this guy his own daily show on Fox.
A laugh track would be nice, but deadpan would work too.

We need to spread his message to the masses. We need lots of close-ups of him spitting foam into the camera lens in wide-eyed sincerity.

We've grown complacent.
We need his passion, people. You know it. I know it.

Hell, I feel it. Do you feel it too? It feels a lot like right after you eat two Reuben sandwiches with extra sauerkraut. Scorching heartburn.

Why isn't anybody doing something about it??
GIVE THIS MAN A PRIME TIME SLOT, DAMN YOU!!

*copious weeping and gnashing of teeth*

Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 08:18 PM

Capitalism is at a critical juncture, and now that Kyoto's in the toilet, I'm going to be on these investments like a fat woman on a toilet!

Posted by: Al Gore on November 15, 2005 08:20 PM

Al is improving. I thought the most serious threat would be the VRWC.

Posted by: on November 15, 2005 09:34 PM

I predict around 2025 the environmental movement will shift gears, and claim that the lack of worldwide catastrophe is thanks to all the Awareness they raised about Global Warming in the 90s-10s.

Posted by: Eric J on November 15, 2005 09:35 PM

Is anybody else bothered by the fact that simps like this guy get elected to high office? The collection of chicklet brains that are in the US Senate now make my pothead college roommates look like Plato and his students. I know Al Gore is a fat gas-bag nobody now, but he was once Vice Fucking President- one rib dinner away from being the most powerful man in the world. Do smart people just stay away from politics now?

Posted by: UGAdawg on November 15, 2005 09:38 PM

Do smart people just stay away from politics now?

Yes, if you've ever done anything remotely unwholesome-seeming anywhere with anyone present.

Obviously, I'm not a genius, and I doubt I'd make a good president. But if I were and if I would, I still wouldn't run. I've had a pretty clean life, I think. But not clean enough. I'm sure some former school friends could dig up some dirt on me which would make me very very uncomfortable to have plastered across the evening news worldwide.

Posted by: SJKevin on November 15, 2005 09:47 PM

Is anybody else bothered by the fact that simps like this guy get elected to high office?

Yeah. When you stop and think about it, it's a pretty compelling argument for a small and limited government.

Posted by: on November 15, 2005 09:50 PM

UGAdawg, it takes a different kind of person.

Most people have a better chance of having a happy life as an auto mechanic in this country than as a politician.

Think of all the good working people you know who would make positive contributions once in office; could they hack the campaign? The media delving into their past?

These days, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson wouldn't have a chance.

Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 09:56 PM

you guys are right, but that's not the way it should be. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of a vicious media that salivates over any hint of scandal, and on the outrageously dirty tactics used by partisan political operatives now. I know the GOP is not blameless in this, but I see the worst excesses coming from the Democratic camps.

Posted by: UGAdawg on November 15, 2005 10:07 PM

Your scientists will stumble upon it, as they have all the others...but the juvenile minds which you possess will NOT COMPREHEND ITS STRENGTH UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE! ... You see? You See? Your stupid minds! STUPID! STUPID!

Posted by: Al Gore on November 16, 2005 12:11 AM

So true, LauraW.
George Washington and Thomas Jefferson wouldn't have a chance in today's political arena.

They certainly wouldn't get the black vote, what with owning slaves and all.

Posted by: Bart on November 16, 2005 12:59 AM

I had totally forgotten about that song:

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

That's exactly how you feel after some serious drinking in Soi Cowboy.

Posted by: Michael on November 16, 2005 01:29 AM

"Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham Suite" = possibly the gayest song lyric of all times

Posted by: Knemon on November 16, 2005 02:50 AM

However, Mr. Gore would make an excellent fill in host of Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

That voice.
That delivery.
Priceless.

Posted by: fugazi on November 16, 2005 09:45 AM

Bart, you're a pain in the butt.

Posted by: lauraw on November 16, 2005 11:05 AM

I thought the most serious threat would be the VRWC.

And not our Zionist masters?? A little respect, please.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 16, 2005 03:40 PM

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town ...

Posted by: iamfelix on November 16, 2005 09:39 PM

The biggist amount of HOT AIR is comming from AL GORE and the rest of the eco-freaks ranting this poppycock why dont gore put some duct tape over his mouth it will sure cut down on the HOT AIR he spews

Posted by: spurwing plover on November 16, 2005 11:00 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
FBI investigating reports of an effort to bomb SpaceX's Boca Chica Starship facility In an interview Friday, he said he was there on the afternoon of Christmas Eve when an SUV pulled up with five male passengers who rolled down their windows to converse. They said they were from the Middle East. “I said something like, ‘What are y’all here for? ’ and the driver said, ‘Oh, we’re here to blow (Starship) up,’ ” Wehrle said. “I just went stone cold, and he said, ‘Oh, I got you. I was joking.’ ” As the conversation went on, though, Wehrle’s visitors said at least three times they were in South Texas to attack Starship. He reported the incident to SpaceX and the sheriff’s office and said he was contacted later by an investigator.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Happy New Year! We discuss the New Orleans Islamic terrorist attack, the stupidity of the current security apparatus, and more!
Election Night, as the taxpayer-funded PBS covered it
Jonathan Capeheart is just a hissing, squealing deflating balloon!
Once again I'll be taking Wednesday and Thursday off, with open threads and cafes, unless there's big news. I'll post on Friday.
Here is an excellent IBD article on Jimmy Carter: Profile In Incompetence. It's a downloadable PDF.
2 Oregon men found dead from exposure in forest while looking for Sasquatch
Nonsense. They were killed by Sasquatch, and Ewoks and Sasquatch are related. Just sayin'. [CBD]
"The notion that CO2 is pollution is absolutely preposterous... The idea that [it's] going to destroy the planet or change the temperature of the Earth is totally ludicrous." "But from a totalitarian perspective, if you can convince people that CO2 is pollution, there's no human activity that doesn't result in CO2 emissions.." [dri]
Just to amplify the last entry: We started paying for pay-TV services so that we would not have to watch commercials, and could watch the original uncensored versions of movies.
Amazon and many other pay TV services now force you to watch commercials unless you pay even higher monthly fees, and now we're back to watching the same censored versions of movies we used to see on TBS.
Vandals: Amazon Prime cuts the key scenes in It's a Wonderful Life of George Bailey contemplating suicide
The whole plot of the movie concerns an angel's intervention, showing George what everyone's life would be like without him in it. If you cut the scenes of him thinking about exiting his life, then what is even the point of the movie?
Remember when we naively thought that Bezos and Amazon were generally on the right side of things? How absurd we were.
I re-watched The Name of the Rose this past year on Amazon and noticed that the semi-important scene of Christian Slater's character losing his virginity to a peasant girl were cut out. My thought was that Amazon must be using a cut of the movie shown on TV or something. I don't know if Amazon is aware it is running censored content, or if they're demanding these cuts, or seeking out versions of the film that remove politically-sensitive material. Whatever the reason, they should be ashamed and run the actual movies again. What is the point of any communications platform that engages in censorship?
Via Black Orchid, Nichole Shanahan's thoughts on the tech/H-1B debate
It is nice that we are actually permitted to debate actual policy questions again. You know, like the right guaranteed to Americans in the Constitution as our inalienable birthright, which we had until the past ten years of authoritarian tyranny by the Deep State and intelligence services.
All I want for Christmas is more leftwing fruitcake cope videos
BTW I cued up that video after he played the Don LeMon "Elon is really president" video. I figured you saw that in a prior post. But if you don't read my posts, just go back a couple of minutes to see it.
Recent Comments
Tonypete: "I've done a fair bit of woodturning in my day but ..."

Derak: "I started with 12 hens, 6 from chicks 3 days old., ..."

Martini Farmer: "The "ginger bread house" with a shaker of seasonin ..."

Skip : "tinyurl.com/3c3cyn62 To catch up on my last coupl ..."

HappyFun: "Haha best thread ever of course! ..."

Skip : "Did Weasel send in that Gingerbread house recipe? ..."

mindful webworker - [s]leader[/s] feeder of the pack: "Yay pet thread, and I didn't miss it today. Thanks ..."

NaughtyPine: "I wish our eyes were adjustable to see all plants ..."

Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with festive little caps and interpretive dance.: "Fen - do a web search for Senegal purr. Most are s ..."

mikeski: "[i]Award for the use of gingerbread to create a Cy ..."

Skip : "HOBBY NOOD ..."

Notsothoreau: "We don't get snow until about 11 tonight. No rain ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives