Devote the show to Melissa Theuriau. Invite male listeners (and Megan) to call in and describe just how far they'd go to please her.

Sigh.

That might just break a few FCC guidelines, I think.

Allah,

It's time to get on the phone, baby. Come on. You don't even have to say you're Allah. I can call you "Chester the Molester."

You have the PJ media confab happening right down the street at the Lex 'W' hotel, and you can't get any of them to call in?

How about "X-Blogger"? Come on, dude, I'm dyin' over here.

That's a fine idea, anonymous. The PJ Media (or Open Source Media) thing is on Drudge right now. Surely someone on the scene in NYC can give you twenty minutes.

E-mail Charles Johnson and ask him to put you in touch with Roger Simon.

I tried that through a different route.

Bon courage.

Intelligent design?

And they turned you down?? Sheeeit.

I've been e-mail buddies with Roger and Charles for the longest time and didn't get an invite to the launch. THERE, I SAID IT.

My gig on Tyra just fell through and I have a new mustard popsicle recipe. Ring a ding ding baby.

I have one guest invite... I was planning on taking someone else, but if they can't make it, I think my invite is a plus-one.

Movies. Talk about movies. Everybody loves movies.

Or monkeys. Always good for a laugh.

Giant friggin' apes?

The Colorado "cool" sex Mom got sentenced to 30.

That and mustard popsicles.

What else do you need?

Hoke,

My email to you just got bounced. Can you email me at aceofspades - AT - gmail.com?

Let's do this. Let's have sex.

Three words:

Gay cowboy movie.

http://www.rogerlsimon.com/siberia/

Email en route.

Don't break my heart.

Ang Lee needs to make a gay cowboy movie - even one that has Heath Ledger smelling Jake Gyllenhaal's dungarees and crying (swear to God -saw it on the preview) - to make up for The Hulk.

Talk about the cheerleaders who got caught sharing a box lunch in that bathroom. You could tie it in with the gay cowboy movie. "Classic American archetypes go gay: why is it only hot when women do it?"

Good thoughts. I think I can even fit mustard pospicles into that mix.

From what I understand, there was a bit of a homo vibe to Jarhead, too.

Maybe Gyllenhaal's ahead of the curve on this one. "Has gayness replaced retardation as the hallmark of Hollywood prestige roles?" There's your topic for today's show.

So THAT'S what they mean by "Calgary Stampede".

whoa. that rocked my world

He cancelled?? Dammit! I was really looking forward to hearing from that guy.

I blame myself. The Ace O Spades Lifestyle post spooked him, didnt it?

To answer my own question, we'll know it has once Robin Williams starts playing gay retards.

His first project? "The Andrew Sullivan Story."

Bareback Mountain.

Time to take things to cable tv, Ace. If the staggeringly unfunny and unsmart Sean Hannity can pull in millions of viewers, why can't you? Unless you're ugly or something.

Oh, for heavens' sakes, Ace. You guys finally get a free hour and you have to go and waste it with last-minute guests. Well, I'll be listening anyway...

Oy, Slubs. Where are ya?

Working. New job, new hours.

meet the new boss,
same as the old boss

Pooh.

Speed up the patter, Ace. And don't belabor the point, move on to something else.

Only difference? The new boss pays better.

Guest standing us up, let's get some calls people.

you'll need more money to take care of Green Acres

Tell me about it.

It's the place for me, though.

I will gladly call and share my feelings for Melissa Thefrenchwhore.

Ace, Karol - do you guys have a non-toll free number for calls?

Hey Ace, can you podcast your show? It would be a lot easier to listen to.

If this droning hysteric bumps me, I'm shooting out his porch light.

Okay, I was less than coherent. Mea culpa.

BTW, my "name" is pronounced to rhyme with "gay bone." Just a coincidence.

Your guest Lipscomb is very good and right on about what's wrong about the White House's PR approach.

ahahahaha

Ace was an Episcopalian? Why am I so not surprised? :D

Who is this guy and why is he annoying me so much? yagh.

I concur with the Moonbat. But it's a tough pill to swallow.

LBJ analogy = ouch

LBJ analogy = dumb. And former press secretaries are criticizing the current communications staff? I'm shocked. SHOCKED.

oh, now this is good stuff. I guess the guest knows a thing or two about religion

Holy shit, Ace. A religious scholar you are not.

Just like there is no crying in baseball, there is no tip-toeing-through-the-tulips in religious doctrine. Sin is sin, no need to sugarcoat it so not to offend the sinners.

Did Ace say this guy is from the American Spectator? Isn't that the one with the editor who's usually on base but goes completely freakin' looney-tunes over ID?

Megan, didn't say it wasn't dumb.

And sure, they're skewing the polls. But you can't skew polls that far.

Saying Bush and his administration are failing on the PR tip isn't defeatist. It's honest.

Now let's turn this thing around.

Hoke, where are you? Your number is busy.

Oh, Bart, what did you expect. Ace said he's a lapsed Episcopalian, which is sort of like saying you don't go to your Unitarian church EVERY Sunday.

For reference, Ace - it's not just Leviticus, it's Corinthians, Timothy, and Romans as well. Not to mention f'n Genesis.

It ain't busy

Rightalk must have just blown out their server. Buffering, do da do...

Nah, the guy was too brutal on the white house. And I didn't get Knemon's point

Less church...more Melissa.

Knemon - re poll skewing, how about four to eight points?

And that's a minimum, in my opinion. They've been undersampling Republicans for decades; they're not going to stop now.

Megan, you truly are an enigma.

Definitley stalk-worthy, (if I were so inclined).

*Just a joke. You'd have to have been around late Saturday night to understand.

Do I still get a fu***** meal voucher?

anybody wanna see mah gall bladder scar?

Allah -

Here are some Ace of Spades lifestyle Melissa pics.

Melissa - AoS Lifestyle Columnist!

Second Hand Theuriau

Now, get her a bottle of ValuRite vodka and she can be a correspondent.
.

.

"Gaia riding on the divine unicorn."

Talk about racey imagery. Freudian slip, Ace?

joe, I was just saying - Josh Marshall (and others) are saying that Bush is promoting a "stabbed-in-the-back" myth.

Just go to talkingpointsmemo.com and ctrl+F "stabbed" ...

This is just another one of the many ways he's found to call Bush (and Republicans) a Nazi. (When he wants to mix it up, he calls him Franco).

Anyway. There is a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of truth here - if we "lose" in Iraq - which I don't think is going to happen, just saying "if" - then the future right-wing explanation will be "the goddam Demoncrats did it to us again."

Which will be partly, but not entirely, true.

SO. All I was saying is, fine - if we're Nazis for accusing them of stabbing the army in the back, they're *definitely* Nazis for peddling theories about sinister cabals pushing us into war in the interests of International Jewry. I know you are, but what am I? neener neener neener.

I guess it is pretty stupid ...

Hoke, we was robbed!

Wha da fuk?

Good, loose show so far.

See thats what I'm talking about BumperStickerist. You could do a whole show on Melissa smoking a hooka

Oh, shit! I got distracted and missed all but the last 20 minutes. Why don't you try inviting Cathy Seipp to the show someday, Ace?

what's a hooka?

Megan, okay, 8 points ... 10 points ... 15 points. That means that the war support is at most 55%, and Bush's job approval is at most 48%. Not good enough.

The media is partly to blame. Bush is also to blame, because, in the end, the buck stops there. If he can't connect with the people, the way that Reagan (almost) always could, it reduces the chances of a satisfactory outcome to the war. Which is Not Okay.

We need to win. The media sure aren't helping. And when Bush puts on his bully-pulpit hat, he's not really helping either.

Yarg, that fucking alarm for cigarette smoking makes me want to restart smoking so I can use it to burn down whatever business it is that came up with using an ALARM for those of us at work listening in on ear phones.

Ok, knemon, I get it. Everyone's tone was so negative that I got pissed off at it all.

On one of these real life crime shows, a kids mother did her son's friends. He became a vampire and murdered a couple of people. So, there ya' go.

Hoke = Allah?

RWS:

A "hookah" is an Turkish or Asian water-pipe that is generally used for smoking opium. You can google it. The dope-head "water bong" is a variant of the hookah.

The caterpillar in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is smoking a Hookah.

Karol nails it: Like you guys know what you are doing? lol!

loves me the guitar track though

I probably should have trusted my instincts and just talked about "Arrested Development" the whole time.

Or Rudy. Who Can't Fail. Have I mentioned that lately?

Knemon - I'm not saying there haven't been mistakes. The White House has been silent for far too long. Missteps were made. That's all well and good. But to describe the President as a "nasty man" who is contemptuous of the voters and to claim that his press office is the most incompetent of all time... I'm sorry, but those are Dick "GULAGS!!!" Durbin's talking points.

RWS: scroll up and click the Melissa links that SumperStickerist left. Pics of hooka. Oh, and prepare to reconsider your sexual orientation.

Man, you guys step all over my shit. Next time, when Hoke speaks, shut the fuck up and let him preach.

what's a hooka?

a prostitute.

For the last time, Melissa Thesmellyfrenchtart looks like the back of my ballbag.

Bart - I can't begin to imagine the kind of trouble you must have sitting down.

Hoke, you're wrong about not sentencing the MILF to 30 years. If we don't uphold and enforce the law for everyone, America becomes Amsterdam -- home of the "what's the harm" attitude about everything.

As for the WH, nothing comes easy as pie, and Lipscomb is a punk.

With a president who gives it straight and true, you get the flip-side - he can't articulate his cock.

After years of battering, an entirely corrupt and antagonistic media filter, and a political opposition that will turn on a dime and actually try and change the past to assist in their present opportunism, you're gonna' get a 36%

He's a war president and every factor - from a craven media to a diseased Left to a rotting Empire to his own inability to give voice to the cause to Ace's point that, in reality, there is very little left to say but "Stay the course" - militates against that war and thus, him.

We're at Vietnam, fast-forward. The next time we engage in a big endeavor, we'll have to be in and out quicker than Ace on his first date with the semi-hot neighbor mom in his old Pasaic neighborhood.

As for Episcopalians, fuck 'em. What's next on the show? Mitosis?

Bart

I was in the entertainment segment. I was the Italian dude who spins three plates.

"MILF?" Have you seen the woman, Bart? Jaysis. And you criticize Theurieau's looks?

She had to do time, but I agree with Hoke that 30 years seems way too harsh. These boys weren't forced to do anything against their will. I doubt that any of them were emotionally damaged, although that's possible. Most of them are probably still bragging about it.

Theuriau, rather... the point stands.

She should have gotten 60. She's a pig. And damn, did she provide a public service in a Barbara Eden kind of way (Jeez - Dr. Pepper has an ad aping this theme - a Mom comes out and the boys are all gooey over her - thought, it turns out it is the soda that has them all hot and bothered).

It's the duality of man, the whole Jungian thing, sir.

As far at the seducing Mom goes, that might be every 14 yr old's fantasy, but it sure aint HIS mom's.

If it was my son, they wouldn't have to sentence her, Cuz they would never have found her body.

;-)

"But to describe the President as a "nasty man" who is contemptuous of the voters"

Yeah, that goes a little far. BUT it's true that in the first debate, Bush had the opportunity to effectively win the election right then and there.

Instead, he scowled, slouched, and basically acted like, yes, a nasty man.

Megan, those aren't Durbin's points. Durbin's complaint isn't that the press office is incompetent - it's that we've become Nazis. Which is ridiculous.

But it's *not* ridiculous to say that the media relations effort of this admin. ranges from terrible to nonexistent. I'd like someone to make the case *for* Scott McClellan because from where I'm sitting, he sucks out loud.

Ari drove them nuts but he did it with ease. McC. is awful, just awful. Makes Joe Lockhart look like, I don't know, someone who doesn't suck.

Whatever. The debates are definitely water under the bridge. Alls I'm saying: I'm glad Bush was re-elected. He's better than the alternative would have been.

But when it comes to PR, or the bully pulpit, or "selling" the war, whatever you want to call it, he stinks. You can't blame this all on the Democrats or the MSM. Some, but not all.

I agree with Butters' nuancing (is that a word?) of Hoke's point.

Hoke, I'm with you on that Dr. Pepper ad. It's creepy in a bad way.

Knemon - I've said over and over that the White House isn't blameless. I don't know why you're arguing the point; you have no adversary.

Hoke sounds sort of like a young Jack Nicholson with a whiff of Ned Flanders and subtle after-flourishes of Bruce Dern imitating the first President Bush.

I just like to argue, I guess. So I see adversaries where none exist.

I realize my comments are approaching moonbat length ... I'll try to dial it down.

Ace, Karol, you must re-schedule Hoke for next week.

Back to the MILF. I don't want to see the MILF do any time. But she was caught and now has to face the music. Plus the drugs were a little bit too much.

THE REAL PROBLEM is why all these MILFS are being ratted on. My concern is not for the MILF doing a valuable service for the teens. My concern is that the little bastards are squealing on MILFs. Why?

Back in the day, my day, we would never have the let secret out to authorities. Several years ago, I lived in Kentucky. My gf at the time had told me about a friend of the family wha was accused of doing sexual acts with a 15 year old boy (who also happened to be a close family friend.)

The first thing I asked is what happened?
After several minutes of teeth pulling, my gf finally revealed kissing and a hand job.

My next question was Who caught them?
To my horror and disbelief, she had told me that noone caught them. The kid ratted out the woman.

(I knew this kid. This kid was an asshole. A real brat. The kind of kid who would push his little sister around and dump salt on the grown-ups food when they weren't looking.)

So the kid ratted on the woman and nearly destroyed the woman's marriage. Yea, she was a bit of a headcase, too. But she was nice and a decent mother of two boys.

The kid's father, another asshole, even told his pastor. The woman also belonged to the same church. The pastor contemplated going to the police, but, to his credit, he did not report the incident.

The point is: The boys are supposed to keep their mouths shut about this sort of thing. And if the situation was reversed, your damn right I would want the electric chair for any adult man having sex with with an underaged girl.

Hoke: As for Episcopalians, fuck 'em.

Ace already offered to do you, Hoke. You want the poor guy to beg???

Hey Allah,

Anyone could reserve a spot for the PJ thing I believe, officially invited or not, a blogger or not. Dunno if it's too late -- call Ben at 650-228-5187.

As the Moon God, you should definitely be at the party part of the proceedings.

you have no adversary

but he does have several natural predators!

Well, with a name he himself says rhymes with "gay-bone..."

As far at the seducing Mom goes, that might be every 14 yr old's fantasy, but it sure aint HIS mom's.

The 9th grade doing HIS mom, is not a 14 yr old's fantasy. The perverts always leave out that part of the equation.

I'm open to returning to the show, under a few conditions --

a) Ace and Karol need to shut the fuck up and let me do my thing. You hear me talk, you stop. Kapiche?

b) I want 2 segments

c) You open with a Lipscomb and some shit like Episcopalians, I walk. I'll follow highbrow. I won't follow gay or boring.

d) I want my meal voucher, pronto!

e) No calls. Hoek doesn't do calls.

f) Evian. Room temperature.

Who cares if its a a woman doing a boy or a man doing a girl. Underage is underage. Jesus the hypocricy is waist deep. Equal rights? Equal jail time. Quit ur bitching.

Hoke with those kinda demands I better hear monkeys flying out of your butt. Make me laugh till I soil myself. Bawbwa Streisand sounds like less of a diva.

I'm open to returning to the show, under a few conditions --

What? No limo service to your phone?

What happened in the senate? Some bru ha ha is going on.

Come on, ace. Get on it!

Hey, is that Bruiser the Loser, who SondraK called out on her site?
Smells like the same KOS crap from here...
I saw your comments there, and I was wondering...
Are you in grade school, or just someone who speaks English as a second language?
Merry Fitzmas!!

Good show!

Hey ace I was flipping back and forth between Phylis Schafly and your show on rightalk. The sound quality on Phylis show is 100x better. Can you do anything to improve this? Are you operating via phone or something?

Hoke, maybe next time you can, you know, answer the goddamn phone when we call to interview you? Just a thought.

I agree with Butters' nuancing (is that a word?) of Hoke's point.

If Megan agrees with me, whatever I said (I'm not going to reread this entire thread), I take it back.

Hoke, maybe next time you can, you know, answer the goddamn phone when we call to interview you? Just a thought.

Spank him, Karol ! Spank him hard!

Ace wants to be anonymous. Karol we have seen before. Why not an accompanying webcast with camera one of these days? We can see you all sort of jerky, Karol. It might be fun. Ace can wear a mask!

I like my own idea more and more. With a camera it will be radio with pictures.

Oh, and why not sign up for one of these public access shows? I mean real television!

God, I shd be your agents.

The insults to the president and his PR staff were a little nasty. Bush can give a speech good if he wants. Its when he goes off the cuff in front of an audience is where he is not good. But on the more casual settings he has done good. As for the debate, Bush got pissed having the gigalo basically make shit up about how everything was fucked in a handbasket.

I was a little disapointed too with the doom and gloomin'. Things are going well enough in Iraq, no need to sugar coat it, its real life. Us blogger should know better. But to say we are on the brink of disaster does not make sense. We lost vietnam after we left. The program of Vietnamization effectively put the SVies in control of their country as we left over several years. The killer was cutting off all support in '73.

We are nowhere near that point. For all you gloomsters, at least President Allen will be a complete 180, he has none of Bush's evangelical turn the other cheek. He will tear the flipfloppers good.

Preident Allen? I don't think so. Something happened today in the senate.

And all this time I thought "Hoke" was pronounced with the long "o" sound, like "coke".

I didn't care. I just assumed man.

First it was gay cowboy movies. Now this.

I'm on the edge and I don't care who knows it.

and of course, I left out the part about how I didn't know there was any "e" sound after the k. Hok-ee.

I told you I was on the edge. I want an ibuprofin and a martini.

What? What happened? Did some senators vote on something? Tell us, ya fuck.

"by a 79-19 vote, lawmakers approved a weaker Republican version that insists on regular reports to Congress detailing the military's progress toward the goal of bringing the troops home."

Is that it?

Is this the new Fitzmas Doom Scenario? Sounds like a mere level four to me.

that was by far one of your best shows yet.