Nothing comforts me more than reading a story about "bioengineered assassins" from Iran.

You know the writer was all "ooh, I'm good" when he wrote "gelatinous assassins". Think you're getting the top google hit for that, buddy? Not any more!

These plans always tend to work out so well. "They'll just die out," mmmm'kay, we'll check in after a decade or so when we've found that dead jellyfish carcasses produce an unsual mold which is the favorite food of some crazy-ass beetle from South America that shouldn't have been there in the first place but is now devouring every crop from the Caspian Sea to the Gurbantunggut Desert in China.

Wasn't there a Simpson's episode about this which ended with Springfield infested with giant lizards?

This is good news! I was down to my last 4 pounds, except for the emergency supply on my yacht. Happy days are truly here again!

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're
overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese
needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous
type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around,
the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Yeah, just you watch. When this plan fails, that's when Iran's going finally wheel out their secret nuke program as a final solution for the jewwwwww-- I MEAN JELLYFISH!!!!

4 pounds? I have that much in my survival kit.

Thank God! I was just starting to worry that caviar might skyrocket to $1000 an ounce! At those prices, my butler wouldn't be able to purchase it on his credit card and I might have to give him one of mine. The horror!

4 pounds? I have that much in my survival kit.

4 pounds is about 3 sammiches. By my reckoning, that means you'll only survive 6 hours.

4 pounds is about 3 sammiches.

hey, when the shit hits the fan, I gots to move!

it's just a small part of the kit. I have as many pounds of beef jerky as I do .45 cal.

In 1983 Iran had to sell to Russia all their sturgeon catches until the 1952. Russian caviar just better than Iranian!!!.

I can just say that on every poison there is an antidote.
I think this message is already in Russians scientist’s mind and what is let is, just a matter of time.

“I pile up a big 'ol caviar Sloppy Joe on a kaiser roll”

How rudimentary! What I can say?
You need a bond, and that is Russian caviar and vodka.

Ah, 1893 should be instead of 1983. Sorry.

I need a bond...do you mean a match?
Peter, are you Russian?

We get a newsletter?? Dang-it! Why wasn't I called during the supper hour and harangued into subscribing?

*left-out pout*

You say mnemiopsis jellyfish, I say tomahto. It all comes down to ravenous giant jellypeople when it's all over. Hundreds of sci-fi books and movies available, and they have learned nothing. This is what happens when fundamentalists start banning books.

God's number 2 ovary*, am I mad.

* Natlamp ca: 1975

*ahem*

uhh...been drinkin', buddy?

Um, not drinking, actually...

Still, all the movies, the books. They have not learned, because they have not seen.

Florida is full of critters someone thought would just die out when released into the wild.

The critters proclivity for eating a particular other critter MAY simply be preference and availability.

If I were faced with eating a closet full of chicken soup and cans of worms, the worms will lose until the chicken soup is 100% depleted - then I'd switch to the worms if that's all there was.

Let there Beroe.

You gotta know that those American jellyfish are Republicans 'cause they are assassins. No self respectin' Liberal could be an assassin. As Republicans you know they will develop a taste for caviar and then the Iranians will be back to square one.