The park is home only to Modesto and a few ducks.

Seems poignant and kinky at the same time.

He has never had a sexual partner.

This is part of the AoS Lifestyle? I'm going to have to reevaluate the whole thing now.

He has never had a sexual partner.

That's not quite fair - after all:

"He's mounted a tree, a fence and even a shed."

That does smack of the AoS lifestyle.

Hmmm....

The AoS life style or the convent. Tough choice.

I'll take the convent.

mheh.

The AoS lifestyle sounds like it equates to a couple of boat payments for a "discreet" urologist.

I heard Ace got arrested once for humping a birch tree in Central Park in broad daylight.

The NYPD were really nice about it though. They let him finish, and gave him some salve.

But the tree! Did it live?

Where's the salve for it? boohoo.....poor birch. Soon to have a little son of a birch.

Sorry, Lauraw, but nasty-ass minds want to know.

This post raises some fascinating issues.

The first issue is: What exactly are the google search terms that Laura uses when she is looking for material for a post?

And, really, how sick is she?

Answers:
Maranna:

The tree declined to press charges. She only has a three-day memory, thank goodness.
The following Summer, several birch-humanoid saplings in her vicinity had to be uprooted and destroyed in order to save the planet.

Michael:

'hot giraffe p*rn wood wooden structures and trees'

and

I'm not really like this. I don't do this for a living.

several birch-humanoid saplings in her vicinity had to be uprooted and destroyed...

Such a shame - they might have turned into Ents.

lauraw,

Are you in NYC?

No, Connecticut.

Gives a whole new meaning to "tree hugger", doesn't it?

Oh, the humanity!

Oy! The splinters!

Sorry for this self indulgent comment (part of the Ace lifestyle?) But lookey! I am quoted in an online women's magazine about women bloggers. "Broads on Blogs."

The quotes from "Kathy" would be ME.

http://www.sadiemag.com/feature3.php

cool, huh?

These were piss-poor Ents Geoff.

They kept shooting off fireworks in the park and blaming Puerto Rican kids for it.

"No, Connecticut"

RWS:

As one who has followed Laura's comments carefully, perhaps I can add some details. Laura owns a store in a small town in Connecticut that is something like Mailboxes, Etc. She spends her days wrapping parcels to be shipped elsewhere (i.e., menial unskilled labor). There is not one single homosexual in this town; hence her predilection for telling others that they are fags. Her home is on the edge of a swamp infested by coyotes. The house itself is upscale by local standards: a 1986 Boise Cascade 70' double-wide, complete with skirting, tie-downs to prevent tornado damage, and heat tape on all the exposed plumbing underneath so it won't freeze in the winter.

Somebody should tell those zookeepers about Valu-Rite Vodka and Klonopin jello-shots.

Naw, ace prefers Val-U-Rite and antifreeze. I think it's the fluorescent green color that he likes.

Oh Michael.
I don't tell 'others' that they are fags.

Just you.

I don't tell 'others' that they are fags.
Just you.

Actually, that's true. I've never observed you calling someone a homo other than me.

In a strange way, I am honored by this.

So, Laura, here's a tip from a former trailor-park denizen: It's November; plug in the heat tape (unless you went fancy-schmancy and got the heat tape that's thermostically controlled.) If you wait much longer and those pipes bust during a serious freeze, you will have major problems. Trust me on this.

I live in a house. With a mouse. And a spouse.
Our house is in a place with space that I enjoy.
Between blogs I relax with the dogs and watch the cogs of my life roll away.

It sounds sappy but I'm happy, I was probably born that way.

Inventor of Klonopin jello-shots (circa 1981) => Master of None

I live in a house. With a mouse. And a spouse.

Uh-oh, Michael. I think you may have inadvertently triggered either another Spring-type poem episode, or a haiku contest.

God bless you, Laura.

It's a rare person who has achieved the wisdom to be content with their life. It's not easy to overlook all the disappointments, and just enjoy what you have.

But, I would trap the fucking mouse. They tend to shit all over the place. Just sayin'. Your life might be a bit better if you croak that little bastard.

I think you may have inadvertently triggered either another Spring-type poem episode, or a haiku contest.

I was thinking Dr. Seuss.

Just transport the critter up to Enumclaw WA and just make it known that there's a Giraffe available to ummm... do things to freaks who are into that sort of stuff.

The critter will be awash in freak booty in no time and they can charge admission and sell the video on PPV.

Purple:

I always look forward to your comments. Either they are really funny, or very astute and to the point. Either way you always add something good.

I think you may have inadvertently triggered either another Spring-type poem episode, or a haiku contest.

And speaking of which, did ace ever pass out the winners of the last poetry slam, or did he just pass out?

Monty won.

Let's move on.

That sounded curt and it was not intended to sound that way.

That's some zoo the beaners have got there--a lone giraffe and some ducks. Sounds like a real uplifting family destination. I think I'll take some time off from my job reposessing trailer homes and try to lighten up some at this incredibly pathetic zoo.

Dude, if you can't have fun watching a giraffe hump buildings, I don't know what can be done for you.

Your heart is dead.

The article does not mention it, but I'm sure this zoo has some chiggers too.

And a grackle. Don't forget that.

Program on the emergence of civilization.

"14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent. "
Favor.
And disfavor.

They point out Africans’ failed attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.

The roots of racism are not of this earth.

Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals.

The North American continent had none. Now 99% of that population is gone.

AIDS in Africa.

Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:

1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god"
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management
3. Evil/disfavored aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere

Terrestrial management:

4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia - the real-world 20th century interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.

Movies foreshadowing catastrophy
1985 James Bond View to a Kill 1989 San Francisco Loma Prieta earthquake.

Many Muslims are being used like the Germans and Japanese of WWII::being used to hurt others and envoke condemnation upon their people.

They can affect the weather and Hurricane Katrina was accomplished for many reasons and involves many interests, as anything this historical is::
1. Take heat off Sheenhan/Iraq, protecting profitable war machine/private war contracts
2. Gentrification. New Orleans median home price of $84k is among the lowest in major American cities, certainly among desirable cities.

Our society gives clues to the system in place. We all have heard the saying "He has more money than god." There is also an episode of the Simpsons where god meets Homer and says "I'm too old and rich for this."

This is the system on earth because this is the system everywhere.
god is evil because of money.

I don't want to suggest the upper eschelons are evil and good is the fringe.

But they have made it abundantly clear that doing business with evil (disfavored) won't help people. They say only good would have the ear, since evil is struggling for survival, and therefore only the favored could help.

The clues are there which companies are favored and which are disfavored, market domination being one clue, but they conceal it very hard because it is so crucial.

I offer an example of historical proportions:::

People point to Walmart and cry "anti-union".
Unions enable disfavored people to live satisfactorly without addressing their disfavor. This way their family's problems are never resolved. Without the union they would have to accept the heirarchy, their own inferiority.
Unions serve to empower.
Walmart is anti-union because they are good. They try to help people address and resolve their problems by creating an enviornment where there are fewer hurdles.

Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people's belief that Walmart is evil.
Low-cost disfavored Chinese labor is utilized by corporate america to maximize margins. They all do it. Only WalMart gets fingered because they are the ones who help, and those who seek to create confusion in the marketplace want to eliminate the vast middle class who have a real chance and instead stick with a lower classes who may not work otherwise. So they dirty him up while allowing the others to appear clean.

The middle class is being deceived. They are being misled into the unfavored, and subsequently will have no assistance from their purchases with corporate america.

I believe the coining of the term "Uncle Sam" was a clue alluding to just this::Sam Walton and WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class.

Amercia is a country of castoffs, rejects. Italy sent its criminals. Malcontents.
Between the thrones, the klans and kindred, they "decided" who they didn't want and acted, creating discontent and/or starvation.
The u.s. is full of disfavored rejects. It is the reason for the myriad of problems not found in European countries. As far as the Rockafellers and other industrialists of the 19th century go, I suspect these aren't their real names. I suspect they were chosen to go and head this new empire.

Royalty is the right way to organize a society. Dictatorships and monarchies are a reflection of the antient's hierarchical organization.
Positions go to those who have favor with the rulers, as opposed to being elected.
Elections bring a false sense of how the world is. Democracy misleads people.
Which is why the disfavored rejects were sent to the shores of America::To keep them on the wrong path.

Jesus Christ is a religious figure of evil. These seperatist churches formed so they could still capture the rest of the white people, keeping them worshipping the wrong god.
And now they do it to people of color, Latinos and Asians, after centuries of preying upon them.

Since Buddism doesn't recongnize a god, the calls are never heard, and Chinese representation is instead selected by the thrones.
It was set up this way. Perhaps dyanstic thrones had a say, but maybe not.
Budda was the Asian's Jesus Christ::: bad for the people. "They came up at the same time for a reason."

Simpson's foreshadowing::Helloween IV special, Flanders is Satan. "Last one you ever suspect."
"You'll see lots of nuns where you're going:::hell!!!" St. Wigham, Helloween VI, missionary work, destroying cultures.
Over and over, the Simpsons was a source of education and enlightenment, a target of ridicule by the system which wishes to conceal its secrets.

Jews maim the body formed in the image of "god", and inflicted circumsision upon all other white people, as well as the evil that is Jesus Christ.
I think about how Jews (were used to) created homosexuality among Slavics, retribution for the Holocaust.
Then I think of the Catholic Church and its troubles.
What connection is here between Jews and the Catholic church???
If it is their sinister motives that’s behind the evil that is Jesus Christ are they being used at all?
Perhaps it is them who are pulling strings.
Their bondage in Egypt proves their disfavor. The ruling Jews decided to prey on the up-and-coming Europeans to try to fix their problems with the ruling elite.

I believe Islam is the one true religion, and those misled christians who attack "god's" most favored people will pay for it dearly one day.

Anybody catch this gem in the above rectal spillage?

Simpson's foreshadowing::Helloween IV special, Flanders is Satan. "Last one you ever suspect."
"You'll see lots of nuns where you're going:::hell!!!" St. Wigham, Helloween VI, missionary work, destroying cultures.
Over and over, the Simpsons was a source of education and enlightenment, a target of ridicule by the system which wishes to conceal its secrets.

BWAAA HA HAA HAAA