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November 14, 2005
You Don't Have to Be Human...to live the Ace Of Spades Lifestyle. Somebody should tell those zookeepers about Valu-Rite Vodka and Klonopin jello-shots. posted by LauraW. at 06:39 PM
CommentsThe park is home only to Modesto and a few ducks. Seems poignant and kinky at the same time. Posted by: geoff on November 14, 2005 07:00 PM
He has never had a sexual partner. This is part of the AoS Lifestyle? I'm going to have to reevaluate the whole thing now. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 14, 2005 07:19 PM
He has never had a sexual partner. That's not quite fair - after all: "He's mounted a tree, a fence and even a shed." That does smack of the AoS lifestyle. Posted by: geoff on November 14, 2005 07:30 PM
Hmmm.... The AoS life style or the convent. Tough choice. I'll take the convent. mheh. Posted by: Maranna on November 14, 2005 07:31 PM
The AoS lifestyle sounds like it equates to a couple of boat payments for a "discreet" urologist. Posted by: tachyonshuggy on November 14, 2005 07:57 PM
I heard Ace got arrested once for humping a birch tree in Central Park in broad daylight. The NYPD were really nice about it though. They let him finish, and gave him some salve. Posted by: lauraw on November 14, 2005 07:58 PM
But the tree! Did it live? Where's the salve for it? boohoo.....poor birch. Soon to have a little son of a birch. Posted by: Maranna on November 14, 2005 08:05 PM
Sorry, Lauraw, but nasty-ass minds want to know. Posted by: Maranna on November 14, 2005 08:06 PM
This post raises some fascinating issues. The first issue is: What exactly are the google search terms that Laura uses when she is looking for material for a post? And, really, how sick is she? Posted by: Michael on November 14, 2005 08:31 PM
Answers: The tree declined to press charges. She only has a three-day memory, thank goodness. Michael: 'hot giraffe p*rn wood wooden structures and trees' and I'm not really like this. I don't do this for a living. Posted by: lauraw on November 14, 2005 08:54 PM
several birch-humanoid saplings in her vicinity had to be uprooted and destroyed... Such a shame - they might have turned into Ents. Posted by: geoff on November 14, 2005 08:58 PM
lauraw, Are you in NYC? Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 14, 2005 09:05 PM
No, Connecticut. Posted by: lauraw on November 14, 2005 09:06 PM
Gives a whole new meaning to "tree hugger", doesn't it? Oh, the humanity! Oy! The splinters! Posted by: Maranna on November 14, 2005 09:07 PM
Sorry for this self indulgent comment (part of the Ace lifestyle?) But lookey! I am quoted in an online women's magazine about women bloggers. "Broads on Blogs." The quotes from "Kathy" would be ME. http://www.sadiemag.com/feature3.php cool, huh? Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 14, 2005 09:08 PM
These were piss-poor Ents Geoff. They kept shooting off fireworks in the park and blaming Puerto Rican kids for it. Posted by: lauraw on November 14, 2005 09:09 PM
"No, Connecticut" RWS: As one who has followed Laura's comments carefully, perhaps I can add some details. Laura owns a store in a small town in Connecticut that is something like Mailboxes, Etc. She spends her days wrapping parcels to be shipped elsewhere (i.e., menial unskilled labor). There is not one single homosexual in this town; hence her predilection for telling others that they are fags. Her home is on the edge of a swamp infested by coyotes. The house itself is upscale by local standards: a 1986 Boise Cascade 70' double-wide, complete with skirting, tie-downs to prevent tornado damage, and heat tape on all the exposed plumbing underneath so it won't freeze in the winter. Posted by: Michael on November 14, 2005 09:33 PM
Somebody should tell those zookeepers about Valu-Rite Vodka and Klonopin jello-shots. Naw, ace prefers Val-U-Rite and antifreeze. I think it's the fluorescent green color that he likes. Posted by: OregonMuse on November 14, 2005 09:43 PM
Oh Michael. Just you. Posted by: lauraw on November 14, 2005 10:53 PM
I don't tell 'others' that they are fags.
In a strange way, I am honored by this. So, Laura, here's a tip from a former trailor-park denizen: It's November; plug in the heat tape (unless you went fancy-schmancy and got the heat tape that's thermostically controlled.) If you wait much longer and those pipes bust during a serious freeze, you will have major problems. Trust me on this. Posted by: Michael on November 15, 2005 12:29 AM
I live in a house. With a mouse. And a spouse. It sounds sappy but I'm happy, I was probably born that way. Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 12:47 AM
Inventor of Klonopin jello-shots (circa 1981) => Master of None Posted by: Master of None on November 15, 2005 12:50 AM
I live in a house. With a mouse. And a spouse. Uh-oh, Michael. I think you may have inadvertently triggered either another Spring-type poem episode, or a haiku contest. Posted by: geoff on November 15, 2005 12:59 AM
God bless you, Laura. It's a rare person who has achieved the wisdom to be content with their life. It's not easy to overlook all the disappointments, and just enjoy what you have. But, I would trap the fucking mouse. They tend to shit all over the place. Just sayin'. Your life might be a bit better if you croak that little bastard. Posted by: Michael on November 15, 2005 01:04 AM
I think you may have inadvertently triggered either another Spring-type poem episode, or a haiku contest. I was thinking Dr. Seuss. Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 15, 2005 01:29 AM
Just transport the critter up to Enumclaw WA and just make it known that there's a Giraffe available to ummm... do things to freaks who are into that sort of stuff. The critter will be awash in freak booty in no time and they can charge admission and sell the video on PPV. Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 15, 2005 02:07 AM
Purple: I always look forward to your comments. Either they are really funny, or very astute and to the point. Either way you always add something good. Posted by: j.a. on November 15, 2005 09:21 AM
I think you may have inadvertently triggered either another Spring-type poem episode, or a haiku contest. And speaking of which, did ace ever pass out the winners of the last poetry slam, or did he just pass out? Posted by: OregonMuse on November 15, 2005 11:02 AM
Monty won. Let's move on. Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 11:09 AM
That sounded curt and it was not intended to sound that way. Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 11:55 AM
That's some zoo the beaners have got there--a lone giraffe and some ducks. Sounds like a real uplifting family destination. I think I'll take some time off from my job reposessing trailer homes and try to lighten up some at this incredibly pathetic zoo. Posted by: spongeworthy on November 15, 2005 12:02 PM
Dude, if you can't have fun watching a giraffe hump buildings, I don't know what can be done for you. Your heart is dead. Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 12:14 PM
The article does not mention it, but I'm sure this zoo has some chiggers too. And a grackle. Don't forget that. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 15, 2005 12:49 PM
"14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind. They point out Africans’ failed attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization. The roots of racism are not of this earth. Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals.
AIDS in Africa.
1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god" Terrestrial management: 4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds Movies foreshadowing catastrophy Many Muslims are being used like the Germans and Japanese of WWII::being used to hurt others and envoke condemnation upon their people. They can affect the weather and Hurricane Katrina was accomplished for many reasons and involves many interests, as anything this historical is::
This is the system on earth because this is the system everywhere. I don't want to suggest the upper eschelons are evil and good is the fringe.
The clues are there which companies are favored and which are disfavored, market domination being one clue, but they conceal it very hard because it is so crucial. I offer an example of historical proportions::: Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people's belief that Walmart is evil. The middle class is being deceived. They are being misled into the unfavored, and subsequently will have no assistance from their purchases with corporate america. I believe the coining of the term "Uncle Sam" was a clue alluding to just this::Sam Walton and WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class.
Royalty is the right way to organize a society. Dictatorships and monarchies are a reflection of the antient's hierarchical organization.
Simpson's foreshadowing::Helloween IV special, Flanders is Satan. "Last one you ever suspect."
Posted by: grandpa stole bets on November 15, 2005 02:43 PM
Anybody catch this gem in the above rectal spillage? Simpson's foreshadowing::Helloween IV special, Flanders is Satan. "Last one you ever suspect." BWAAA HA HAA HAAA Posted by: lauraw on November 15, 2005 03:03 PM
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Earthquake off Russian coast sends tsunami waves towards Hawaii:
Nick Sortor Coastal evacuation ordered in Honolulu Warnings for the California coast as well. Impact expected at 12:15
Former CIA operative John Kiriakou talks with Matt Taibbi about the Brennan/Comey Coup
Both guys are old liberals, maybe even of the far-left variety, and both are appalled by the Democrat/Deep State coup against the US. Kiriakou says that CIA officers were legally obligated to report to the Inspector General John Brennan's repeated overruling of actual intelligence to encode his partisan conspiracy theories into US intel product, but of course they didn't.
Jonathan Turley nails it: The rise and fall of John Brennan [Hat Tip: dhmosquito] [CBD]
American Eagle Outfitters has a new ad with Sidney Sweeney, and you are going to like it. [CBD]
Seattle woman takes Navy's Blue Angels to court over social media censorship and 'acoustic torture' of cat
A literal cat lady! [CBD]
OG Blogger Jeff Dunetz passes at age 67
I thought I told everyone to stop dying.
Legendary wrestler and great American Hulk Hogan passes away. Love ya brother. [Weirddave]
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Are your Hot Balls ruining your health? Maybe you need to put those sad droopers on ice.
Most studies about overheated testicles look at semen production and fertility, but it also seems likely that too-hot crotch-knockers result in lowered tesosterone, too.
Ryan Long makes fun of NYC lefties for bragging that they can "handle" living amidst garbage, rats, hobos and murder while p*ssies like you just take the easy way out and move to orderly, pleasant places
At Budokan Mystery Click
Now I had heard the WACs recruited old maids for the war But mommy's neither one of those I've known her all these years Maybe I'll stop linking obscurities and start linking more crowd pleasers. If you can stand the sight of Dan Rather, three members of the band talk about how they got famous in Japan before they ever even played in Japan. Hint: Manga.
Malcolm Jamal-Warner, the son on The Cosby Show, dies of drowning at age 54: reports
Warner was in Costa Rica on a family vacation and drowned while swimming near Cocles after allegedly being caught by a high current on Sunday afternoon. The incident occurred between 2 and 2:30 p.m. local time.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Hint: Chopper noises on an oscillator/synthesizer City nights, summer breeze makes you feel all right Neon lights, shining brightly, make your brain ignite See the girls with the dresses so tight Give you love Give you love if the price is right Black or white, in the streets, there's no wrong and no right, no!
Jay Guevara Obituary [PDF]
Russia: Commercial satellite constellations providing help to the Ukraine are now targets Well, this might get sporty! [CBD]
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BILL TO DEFUND NPR, PBS AND PASS DOGE CUTS INTO LAW PASSES PROCEDURAL VOTES WITH JD VANCE CASTING TIE-BREAKER VOTE... MURKOWSKI, COLLINS, AND McCONNELL (THE GREAT CONSERVATIVE) VOTED WITH THE LIBERALS TO CONTINUE FUNDING NPR AND PBS
If I understand this right, the bill now goes to the full Senate for ten hours of debate, and then we pass it. Video of the vote Recent Comments
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Tsunami video from Petropavlovsk in Russia.
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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