It's simple. The vote was to disarm Saddam, not to depose him. Military was to be last resort.

Once Bush got the vote, he didn't allow the inspectors to determine if Saddam HAD any WMD.

He misled, he lied about what the vote was.

I can give the links again, so you can read what the vote was.

You can also read how the intel was rushed and incomplete.

I know it's hard, people, but do not respond.

Stop feeding the troll.

No...step away from the keyboard and just remember that no matter how you respond, tubino will find a way to disagree with you, because you're an evil republican stooge in the grip of Rove's mind-control beams.

Better just to take a deep breath, have a sip or two of Val-U-Rite vodka and let tubino go off on one of his link-laden and truth-challenged diatribes.

Tubino,

So, the vote wasn't for what it said it was for, but was for a secret meaning that you now attibute it to? In other words, the vote was not for the actual resolution that was passed, but for the secret meaning that democrats attribute to it in hindsight? We can't look at the words of the resolution that was voted for and believe what it says, but must believe what democrats now say it meant?

And, you want to claim it is the President who is lying and disingenous?

Interesting strategy. So, I should believe you, not my own lying eyes?

Atrios nailed this succinctly:

I think that the recently statements of Stephen Hadley are really all we need to put the final nail in the coffin of the Bush adminsitration's credibility on anything. These people are just quite literally loathsome.

Hadley argues that Democrats had the same intelligence because "parts of" the NIE "had been made public."

Right, and the parts of the NIE which weren't made public were the parts which suggested that the parts which were made public were full of shit.

Any talking head who overlooks this fact to try to claim that "democrats had the same intelligence as Republicans" is just completely full of shit. They only the had the bits that made their case, not the bits which took away from it.

Interesting. And did Clinton only have the cherry picked intelligence when he allegedly claimed to come to the same conclusion as President Bush. Or, was he lying and loathsome also?

Hey Ace,

Where the hell was Karl Rove this past weekend. First on Friday, Bush gives a speech calling those who disagree with his war policy "deeply irresponsible." Somebody should have reminded him that 57% of Americans now disagree with his war policy. Do you think it is good form to use a day reserved for the solemn remembrance of our war veterans to call 57% of Americans deeply irresponsible? I think not.

And then on Saturday Bush allows himself to be photographed on those cycling tights. It's one of the foremost truisms of American politics that Americans do not want to see their president wearing tights. It may have been OK for him to wear tights when he was cheerleading at Yale, but he's the leader of the free world now! Even among you lustful republicans who seem hopelessly in love with the guy, you must agree that some things are best left to the imagination. C'mon, George, No More Tights!!

Why not believe your own eyes?
Full text here

CNN story below

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- In a major victory for the White House, the Senate early Friday voted 77-23 to authorize President Bush to attack Iraq if Saddam Hussein refuses to give up weapons of mass destruction as required by U.N. resolutions.

Hours earlier, the House approved an identical resolution, 296-133.

The president praised the congressional action, declaring "America speaks with one voice."

"The Congress has spoken clearly to the international community and the United Nations Security Council," Bush said in a statement. "Saddam Hussein and his outlaw regime pose a grave threat to the region, the world and the United States. Inaction is not an option, disarmament is a must."

While the outcome of the vote was never in doubt, its passage followed several days of spirited debate in which a small but vocal group of lawmakers charged the resolution was too broad and premature.

The resolution requires Bush to declare to Congress either before or within 48 hours after beginning military action that diplomatic efforts to enforce the U.N. resolutions have failed.

Bush also must certify that action against Iraq would not hinder efforts to pursue the al Qaeda terrorist network that attacked New York and Washington last year. And it requires the administration to report to Congress on the progress of any war with Iraq every 60 days.

The measure passed the Senate and House by wider margins than the 1991 resolution that empowered the current president's father to go to war to expel Iraq from Kuwait. That measure passed 250-183 in the House and 52-47 in the Senate.

The Bush administration and its supporters in Congress say Saddam has kept a stockpile of chemical and biological weapons in violation of U.N. resolutions and has continued efforts to develop nuclear weapons. Bush also has argued that Iraq could give chemical or biological weapons to terrorists.

Iraq has denied having weapons of mass destruction and has offered to allow U.N. weapons inspectors to return for the first time since 1998. Deputy Prime Minister Abdul Tawab Al-Mulah Huwaish called the allegations "lies" Thursday and offered to let U.S. officials inspect plants they say are developing nuclear, biological and chemical weapons.

story continues -- use link above

Where the hell was Karl Rove this past weekend. First on Friday, Bush gives a speech calling those who disagree with his war policy "deeply irresponsible." Somebody should have reminded him that 57% of Americans now disagree with his war policy. Do you think it is good form to use a day reserved for the solemn remembrance of our war veterans to call 57% of Americans deeply irresponsible? I think not.

Oooh...the big scary poll numbers! They frighten us! Especially when they're just thrown out there without attribution or supporting evidence (size of poll, partisan breakdown, etc.).

I mean, it's easy enough to say one's own beliefs are vindicated by numbers you seem to have pulled out of your ass, but it's not very effective, really.

Ace, you cut out one of the most important parts of the quote! Rockefeller went over to Saudia Arabia, Syria, and Jordan to tell them that Bush was going to invade Iraq no matter what.

Bill Bennett takes this on here.

Keep up the mostly good work!

So... Rockefeller could mention the flaws in the NIE, the fact that it was rushed, and still very few had time to read it...

and he could mention that even if the president was acting in good faith at the time of the resolution, he threw that out the window when he kicked out the inspectors.

But why is Mehlman out there lying about so much, if the truth will protect republicans?

Why is Roberts stonewalling on the Phase II report, if the truth will protect republicans?

c'mon, let's find out what happened.

Tubino,

Rockefeller had the full NIE, as he admitted in the interview, and the NIE expressed some doubts about the state of Saddam's nuke program, as he also admitted.

Can you fucking read?

Members on the Select Intelligence Committee see more than other members of Congress. You can use your "they only got parts of it" excuse for other Senators, but not for Jay Rockefeller. He admitted to having the whole thing, reading the whole thing, and knowing that doubts were expressed in it.

And yet he concluded: Saddam is an "imminent threat" who is building nuclear weapons.

Is he a liar?

Answer the question directly put to you. And please, try not to invent any more "facts" on the fly as you struggle with your deep cognitive dissonance.

Tubino,

The resolution itself hardly supports your claims. I'm beginning to wonder if you even have the ability to comprehend what you read. I already know you don't have very good analytical abilities, but now I question your very ability to understand a single thing.

Also, if we are going to talk about lying, I think we must start with the biggest liers of our times, in order:

- admitted perjurer Bill Clinton
- howard dean
- Ted Kennedy
- Robert Byrd
- Nancy Pelosi
- John Kerry
- John Edwards
- Sandy Berger

C'mon, even a true blue liberal like you must laugh when you hear these people assert anything as true. If lying is what bothers you, it is hard to understand how you are a liberal. After all, almost every liberal who runs for office lies about his/her beliefs and pretends to be much more conservative then they are.

When any dems/liberals start telling the truth about anything - including what they stand for or believe, then we can have a discussion about lying.

Can someone else please point out to Bean-O that the only thing Atrios has ever "nailed succinctly" was his pool-boy Pablo?

I'd do it myself, but...well, there's that promise I made myself. (If we all ignore him, maybe he'll take his silly ass back to whatever lefty site he crawled out of! Live the dream, people!)

Monty,

It's fun having Tubino on the site. Every time he posts his "thoughts" or what he believes are "facts", I realize that we are indeed blessed by the stupidity of our enemies (all of those that hate america - such as the liberals) and I am less worried about the possibility of losing seats in 06 or the white house in 08.

It's fun watching the nutjobs spin their conspiracy theories. In fact, I keep notes on the theories in the hope that I can put them all together and write a thriller like the Da Vinci Code. Sane minds could not make this stuff up, so I rely on lefties, and hopefully they will make me rich.

Vanilla Thunder

John Edwards's editorial in the Washington Post sets the gold standard for flip-flopping on Iraq, though. James Taranto points out how Edwards criticizes Bush for sending too few troops into Iraq in 2003, then turns around and says that there are too many troops in Iraq today.

"George Bush won't accept responsibility for his mistakes. Along with Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, he has made horrible mistakes at almost every step: failed diplomacy; not going in with enough troops; not giving our forces the equipment they need; not having a plan for peace. . . .

We also need to show Iraq and the world that we will not stay there forever. We've reached the point where the large number of our troops in Iraq hurts, not helps, our goals."

That's it. I formally take the pledge. I swear. Never again. NEVER AGAIN.

Still entertaining the rantings of a Canadian, I see.

How many times can we beat the same path with this disillusioned, lying foreigner?

Iraq Liberation Act, Oct. 31, 1998. Regime change becomes official US policy.

That lying Bush pulled this off from Austin. Rove is brilliant.

Thunder:

Yeah, but how much more proof do we really need that the Left is batshit-crazy? Bean-O is representative of a special breed of fucking nitwits who are simply beyond any rational argument: their minds are made up, and if the facts don't fit, well then by God too bad for the facts!

It's a religious obsession, really. The secular Left has needed some earthly nemesis for a long time (at least since Nixon shuffled off the mortal coil). Bush has become a Devil to these folks.

Why else spend all this time attacking a man who isn't even running for office again in 2008? Ditto Cheney, Rumsfeld, et. al. These attacks aren't just pitiful and laughably wrong-headed; they're pointless. They're the equivalent of a two-year-old squalling because Mommy took his binkie away.

That's why Bean-O and his ilk never actually address the points Norman Podhoretz raises in his article. They have no real argument to make. It's just about blind, thoughtless, heedless anger. But let Dr. Sanity give a psychologist's spin on it. Maybe Bean-O and his ilk can go into therapy and get some help.

It's fun having Tubino on the site.

It would be more fun without the splatter-linkage, the interpretation of facts to fit his pre-defined world view, the thread-hijacking, and his refusal to actually read what he links to. In the recent thread on Veteran's benefits, for example (what, you don't see a post on Veteran's benefits? that's because it was originally a post on patriotism), following his links showed that his characterization of their content was mendacious in its exaggeration.

I enjoy informed discussion with members of opposing views, but if Tubby was banned I would shed not a tear.

The interesting thing about this "Bush lied" meme the Dems are flogging is the unavoidable corollary that they were all completely taken in by Chimphitler. Evil Rethuglican wingnuts like me and most of the other commenters on this site have a long list of disagreements with the Democrats, but normal people have a shorter list of concerns with "Security" right at the top. How the Democrats' self-portrait as a bunch of gullible tools is supposed to allay that concern isn't clear to me.

Aside from Rockefeller's amazing disavowal of responsibility for his own vote, the other jaw-dropper in this item was noted by Matt at 4:51 PM above: Rockefeller thought it was okay to travel around conducting his own freelance foreign policy, undercutting those crude red-staters in the administration. Thanks a lot, West Virginia. First Byrd, then this guy, and you keep re-electing both of them time and again. Is there something in the water up there in the Appalachians?

Monty, the demonization of Bush by elected Democrats who really ought to know better isn't completely irrational. When the kooks see the Senate minority leader parroting their conspiracy theories on the floor of the Senate, it validates them, makes them feel important and fills them with gratitude. Then they go hit the MoveOn.org tip jar and make contributions to re-election campaigns.

Also, criticizing, tearing down, and trying to thwart the GOP's agenda is a lot easier than coming up with a positive compelling agenda of one's own for the country. As Dean admits himself, the Democrats basically have no vision, no ideas, they're not sure what they stand for (aside from hating Bush and Republicans).

Hang in there Tubby. Obviously the best these Freeper numbsculls can do is attack you, rather than your arguments.

Hang in there Tubby. Obviously the best these Freeper numbsculls can do is attack you, rather than your arguments.

Anonymous encouragement.

Feel the love.

By the way, this isn't Free Republic, you halfwitted shit for brains moron.

There, feel included now?

You all are missing the much bigger picture. Tricking democrats is apparently not very difficult. I mean this is a President that to this day the left accuses of stealing not one but two elections. Their hatred of him is bottomless. Yet he was able to "trick" them into sending this country to war.

It's not often I take anything on faith from someone I openly despise. I check, double check and when possible triple check anything I hear from my opponents. Yet these rubes got suckered by someone they call chimpybushitler. These are not hard people to fool. And clearly people too stupid for me to ever vote for.

No what's really impressive is that Bush was able to fool Tony Blair, John Howard and the leaders of the other coalition countries into committing their countries to war. Is there nowhere that Karl Rove's mind control beams can't reach?

JackStraw:

Yet these rubes got suckered by someone they call chimpybushitler.

Where I come from, we call such folks all day suckers. And boy, do the Dems fit the bill these days....

>By the way, this isn't Free Republic, you halfwitted shit for brains moron.

Wow, I'm going to have to reassess everything I believe in the face of such silver-tongued logic. Such profound genius should not be hidden away.

Wow, I'm going to have to reassess everything I believe in the face of such silver-tongued logic. Such profound genius should not be hidden away.

Oh, no need to do that. You're fulfilling a need for me right now - the need to be an asshole and call complete strangers names. I'm in a bad mood and need the outlet.

So thanks for being so accomodating, fuckweasel.

ACE says, Rockefeller had the full NIE...

Yup. It was a travesty of an NIE. Want to know why? I posted a link in the VERY FIRST POST ON THIS THREAD. Will post separately.

The interesting thing about this "Bush lied" meme the Dems are flogging is the unavoidable corollary that they were all completely taken in by Chimphitler.

Yes, that is what it would mean.

I was not taken in. I don't have privileged access to info, but I was not taken in. There were people voicing doubts about the intel, and some were being silenced and losing their jobs. I thought that was a pretty good indication of how it was going.

"Oh, no need to do that. You're fulfilling a need for me right now - the need to be an asshole and call complete strangers names. I'm in a bad mood and need the outlet.

So thanks for being so accomodating, fuckweasel."

God I never thought I would get so much enlightenment in such a short period of time. The only thing that could top this is if you called me a traitor, then I would be in heaven.

Well anonymous, as long as you're up for a little introspection, skull is spelled with a k.

Now run along.

We don't just give this shit away for free you know.

Okay, traitor.

Can't say I don't give you anything.

You guys are too generous with your wisdom.

So thanks for being so accomodating, fuckweasel.

And Edward R. Murrow got all of that one! He sends it back, way back, way way back...and it's outta here! A no-out three-bagger for the Murrow-man!

Keep lobbing the fat pitches, boys; we can hammer 'em over the fences all day long.

You guys are too generous with your wisdom.

Post with a name or nick or STFU, you shit-eating dandruff-factory.

You guys are too generous with your wisdom.

I know...I know...

It's really all about the love here at AoSHQ.

I see these Republifags are still spewing their bullshit out for all to see. How are you little traitor pussies doing today?

Ace, its time to fumigate.

Welcome to the party, pal!

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to call a flag on the play.

Republifags
HOMOPHOBIA!
Sorry, the word 'fag' is politically incorrect. You'll have to lose five yards for that one.

traitor pussies
SEXISM!
Ouch. That one's gonna cost you another five.

So you're 2nd and 20. Good luck, buddy.

You guys are too generous with your wisdom.

Maybe, but we're often guilty of going to fast for most of you. You'll let me know if the words are too big, won't you?

Real Liberal Vet:

This is an anagram for your nick: RAT LEAVE LIB. Nostradamus tells us in some quatrain or other that anagrams contain deep secrets.

This anagram tells me that even your pet rat ran off because he couldn't stand your fucking politics. That's just sorry, dude.

Ace, as to why Rockefeller fell for the bogus intel, I can't say. Maybe he's an idiot. I didn't fall for it.

In any case, the NIE was extremely rushed, and the caveats mostly were left out. They were all left out in the exec summary that most coudl read before the vote. The NIE was pushed for by people like Durbin, Graham, Feinstein, and Levin. An honest admin would have pushed for it, instead of being pushed on it.

Here's a report covering a range of hindsights. Some real concerns about the rush on something so important.

XI. THE RAPID PRODUCTION OF THE OCTOBER 2002 NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE ESTIMATE ON IRAQ'S CONTINUING PROGRAMS FOR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION

--- getting errors when I try to post key parts --- follow link in first post

I see these Republifags are still spewing their bullshit out for all to see. How are you little traitor pussies doing today?

So this sexist homophobe is questioning our patriotism in the course of a harsh personal attack that has no substance whatsoever (aside from the bullshit, I mean).

Man. Anyone this evil, you just know that last November he probably went out and voted for Bush about six times.

utron, Edward, and lauraw:

As an insult, I find Republifags to be weak, lacking in character, shallow, and with no cutting edge to it at all. It is the kind of insult I would expect from a slightly stupid ninth-grader. On a scale of 1 to 10, I can only give it a 3 or so. This guy would get sent home crying to his momma in any real AoS flame thread.

I do believe that if I saw VonKreedon commenting here again, I'd run up and give him a big ole hug.

Sigh, so Tubby links to the 'rush to judgement,' but as usual fails to read the entire document. At the bottom we have:

Most analysts believed that the errors or inconsistencies that would have been caught were not problems that would have changed their fundamental judgments about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction programs. Some also pointed out that much of the text for the NIE had been pulled from previously written and coordinated IC products, meaning that analysts had previously had the opportunity to comment on the language.

So the 'rush' resulted in some errors being included, but didn't change the fundamental assessment. Thanks for more time-wasting, Tubby.

Republifags.

Oh Monty, a 3 is kind. We normally reserve a score of 3 for sentient beings.

Sure, I used to give it away like Edward R. Until I began to feel, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, but I... I do deny them my essence.

I only give it away because there's so much to give, baby.

I'm so full of love that I can't keep it in.

Great a retard Republifag lecturing me, a war hero, on political correctness.

Great, another know-nothing high school kid, besmirching the military by pretending to be a veteran. And now a 'war hero?' What a complete crock.

I may not be able to spell, and may not have actually been in the military, but nevertheless I will claim to be a proud (yet liberal) vet, and to claim my weak neologism "Republifags" represents a chuckleworthy addition to the AoS oeuvre.

But you will have to excuse me for I have just shat in my pants.

Why didn't you pussies follow that AWOL retard to commie China where all you fags belong?

AWOL retard

Turd Kennedy is in China? Funny, his webpage says nothing about it..... But then you travel in Liberal circles (or circle-jerks) more than I do.

Great, another know-nothing high school kid, besmirching the military by pretending to be a veteran.

You think so? I was leaning toward "eurotwit". We'll see what happens next.

Proud Liberal Vet,

why so full of hate for homosexuals? Something you're not telling us?

Real I don't think it is polite to insult these people when they spend all their time educating liberals.

Again with the "pussies" and "fags."

Come on, you vocabulary-challenged dunderhead, let's see some fucking flames.

Flames as in insults, by the way. I don't want to hear about what you do in men's room bathrooms off the turnpike.

As communism is much closer to socialism, the liberal dream, I would point out that you PLV would be a lot more comfortable in communist China than free marketeers.

Anyway, thanks for your service. A shame that you are reduced to childish name calling and homophobia. I expected better from the so called big tenters and certainly from a self-proclaimed war hero.

Did anyone see that retard fag commie in spandex the other day?

AWOL retard to commie China where all you fags belong

I have been trying to parse this insult, but it just makes no sense.

AWOL: (A)way (W)ith(o)ut (L)eave. A military designation referring to a service member who is away from his post without the express permission of a senior noncom or officer.

Retard: A somewhat vulgar slang term referring to mentally-retarded persons.

China: A large country in Asia, home to approximately 1.2 billion persons of Han Chinese descent, along with perhaps 300 million of other Asian subcategories.

commie: A shortened for of "Communist", which probably refers to the governing Communist Party of China.

Fags: if you're British, a cigarette; if you're America, a homosexual male.

So apparently, RAT LEAVE LIB is trying to say that all gay military deserters must immediately decamp to a super-secret site in Communist China where all such persons are apparently under the edict of the Evil Overlord Bush. But how can this be? Bush is avowedly anti-Communist, shows no signs of being gay, and his AWOL status has been ably refuted many times in the past. And why site this super-secret gay-deserter haven in China? Surely San Francisco would be much more...amenable to such people (being both pro-gay and anti-military, I mean).

You need to work on your insults, dude. I don't offer this kind of insight and analysis for everyone. I'm doing this in the true AoS spirit, where it's all about the love even for asshole trolls like yourself.

Did anyone see that retard fag commie in spandex the other day?

That's the second time a liberal on this site mentioned Bush's spandex.

I think the picture made them feel a little funny in the pants, like when they used to climb the rope in gym class.

Did anyone see that retard fag commie in spandex the other day?

Heated you up, didn't it?

Did anyone see that retard fag commie in spandex the other day?

Were you excited? Be honest.

why so full of hate for homosexuals? Something you're not telling us?

Sobek, I couldn't help noticing that PROUD LIBERAL VET is a thinly disguised anagram for BI PERVERT DOLL AU. Not that I would speculate about the deeper meaning of these things, but it would make the “Vet’s” raging homophobia more understandable. And, of course, much sadder.

All right, Dave in TX, I think we've thoroughly debunked the 'eurotwit' hypothesis. I'm now prepared to refine my conjecture: he's a high school freshman or sophomore, not well-liked, and has little experience with either sex.

has little experience with either sex

But plenty with rodents and birds.

I plugged 'PROUD LIBERAL VET' into an anagram website and got some interesting results.

One of the results?

A BLURTED PLOVER I

Spurwig, is that you?

But plenty with rodents and birds.

Maybe he does fit in here, after all.

has little experience with either sex

Geoff, I think you nailed it. Which is more than the "Vet" can say...

Incidentally, that's my anagram comment, and I'm taking credit, dammit. Anyway, it takes a different path to reach the same conclusion. For this guy, all signs point to "No."

I was pumping hos in Nam when you Republifags were still learning how to hate Libruls. What a pathetic bunch of losers.

I was not taken in. I don't have privileged access to info, but I was not taken in....

Ace, as to why Rockefeller fell for the bogus intel, I can't say. Maybe he's an idiot. I didn't fall for it.

It's because tubino shut his eytes tightly and refused to look at the NIE! Just like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark!

tubino: "Marion!"
Marion: "What?"
tubino: "Shut your eyes! Whatever you do, don't look at the National Intelligence Estimate!"
Sen. Rockafeller: [looks at NIE] "AIEEEE! I've been duped! My...skepticism...is...meeeeeltinnng!"

I was pumping hos in Nam . . .

Except that people of that generation never called them 'hos.' Sad little loser.

When I play with anagrams, I get: "Let Up, Vile Broad!!"

I was pumping hos in Nam when you Republifags were still learning how to hate Libruls. What a pathetic bunch of losers.

And yet the sight of our current president in tight, tight spandex still turns your crank.

Beautiful.

The only thing that AWOL little fag turns is my stomach.

Oh, snap! Now I remember where I saw "Proud Liberal Vet"! He was headlining a show down in T.J. that featured a dwarf, a donkey, and four ping-pong balls. I didn't stay for the whole show; my church group had to leave early.

Man, Proud Liberal Vet, your asshole must still be smarting from that one! (But that poor donkey looked so humiliated by the whole thing...)

The only thing that AWOL little fag turns is my stomach.

No, that's just the butterflies. They'll go away when you're more comfortable with your sexuality and odd fixations.

I thought you chickenhawks didn't make fun of fags.

Anyone see the polls today? It looks like the only creeps that still support the draft dodger are right here in this little shit hole.

He was headlining a show down in T.J. that featured a dwarf, a donkey, and four ping-pong balls.

At least he got to keep the ping pong balls. Well, I guess he had to, with the alternative being invasive surgery.

Looking in the 'ol Crystal Bong, let's see what took place here:

The setting: a run down, pink pastel coloured shack in the outskirts of Buttfuckah, Ireland. It's pissing down rain (of course) and PLV comes sauntering up to his computer. He's content. The leftover Potato skins went well with the potato meatloaf. He cracks his bulging knuckles, standing out like marbles against his skinny, scarred and grotesque fingers.

"Now let's see what the sock puppets are up to" he says, his grin highlighting all three of his teeth. He's very proud of this clever moniker he's fashioned. 'Witty' he says to the neighbourhood kids (who try to avoid him like the plague, sensing something odd about his manner and his ever undone zipper, but who are nevertheless often trapped by the gangly figure. He turns his rheumy gaze to the computer.

"Heh, heh" he giggles, scratching absently at the various crusty craters that call his sallow cheeks home. Brilliant, Quigger, brilliant. Worth half a fart, that one. He slaps his knee in delight, kicking his pigeon toed feet back and forth. Unseen, a trickle of drool courses from his mouth.

I thought you chickenhawks didn't make fun of fags.

Well, now you know better, don't you?

little shit hole

I think everyone else is right -- you really need to accept your own sexuality. There's nothing wrong with being gay! You and your partner can live a full and happy life, secure in the knowledge that you are following your dream.

But I do think they local zoning boards will rule out the donkey. Something about not being able to keep farm animals in the city limits. So, you know, you'll have to find a human love-partner for this to work.

You're a crazy, mixed-up kid, Proud Liberal Vet, but I wish you well in your out-and-proud new life!

I thought you chickenhawks didn't make fun of fags.

Anyone see the polls today? It looks like the only creeps that still support the draft dodger are right here in this little shit hole.

Chickenhawks, poll obsession and a continuation of the draft dodger meme.

Folks, we have ourselves a perfect little soundbite-spewing liberal troll.

... PLV sits in a funk. 'Now what to do?' he asks himself.

Ignoring the raging chatter in the back of his worm-filled mind (Kill them! Kill them!) he sits back, his brow furrowed in thought. It is an utterly vacant expression. Then it hits him. "PLV, PLV" he says aloud, his voice tinged with mirth. "Yer a bleedin genius. I'll do the old 'are you going to?...routine."

No pretense here, bub, apart from your sorry ass. Now tell me what you said again...

Brackish laughter sprays from his cankerous maw. "Perfect, my lovely Quigger, perfect."

"Ha ha ha!" The spindly figure is now bent over with mirth. As the hideous sound fades into the cracked plaster of the ramshackle walls, his eyes stray to the Menudo poster he keeps pinned up beside him for inspiration. "Ah, Mexican laddies....to be young again." All is silent as he contemplates his own perverse and probably illegal imaginings. The sound of his wife cracking a cannon-like fart snaps him out of it.

"Stop it, Quiggers, stop it!" PLV can contain himself no longer. With a smug grin he stands up and howls up at the ceiling. He dances a little jig of joy, the image just like that of a beetle scurrying through the dirt. The filth stained to his velour shirt only adds to the image. "Turning the tables on that sock poppet, I am" he sniggers. Then he turns, startled by the buffalo roars emanating from his wifes cavernous mouth. Though he can't see her, he knows what she's up to.

"Just you wait, my love. As soon as 'he' can work around you again, you shan't touch him. Never!" Then he turns back to the computer. [to be continued]

PROUD LIBERAL VET=VIRTUAL LEPER BOD

That explains so much. The misogyny, the homophobia, the shaky sexuality and the fantasies about "pumping ho's in Nam"--all the product of a cripplingly negative self-image. Really, the guy's more to be pitied than hated.

But mostly, he's to be mocked or ignored. Right now, I'm setting my phaser to "ignore."

That's pretty good Madfag.

... "Baptismal name....yer a card, PLV!" He continues typing happily, pausing only to run his fingers through his hair and expel some lice..

"I did it again! How is it possible? Delicious!" To his overwhelming joy, he is hard. "Not for you, lovey" he mutters, casting a dour glance toward the doorway. Beyond is his wife. She'll be up to her old tricks.

Typing with one hand, 'creatin fricshun' with the other (as he calls it), PLV is pleasantly surprised to find the idea of prancing in front of a mirror in a chicken suit extremely stimulating. "He's on to something, that sock poppet is" he mutters. Maybe he's not so bad after all.

He just can't stay seated. He stands up, going to work full time. His fist is a blur. The shavings of dried skin that stream forth make it look like he is working at a sawmill. Then, throwing back his head, his adams apple bobbing up a down like a crazed ballcock, he emits a hideous croak and expels several teardrops of brownish yellow paste that almost trickle down over his fingers. "Quiggers, you shoulda been a porn star!" he says in admiration. Turning quickly away to avoid the sight of the blood now seeping though his clenched hand, he reseats himself at the computer.

If only it was true, he sighed, watching the vermin scurrying along the base of the wall. Wish I could charge the buggers rent....

A pause again in his typing. He stares down angrily at his tattered socks. "Might as well be wearin swiss cheese!" he curses. Damn the sock poppet. Then he titters at the imagery. Socks. Sock poppet. It takes him several minutes to subside.

His anger vanishes as a wave of self-righteous pride washes over him. "Bloody Yanks", he chuckles. "That's right. What did they ever do in the war, anyway? Abusers, the lot of em. Bad eggs, all!"

[to be continued]

If I was you I'd take off too utron, you pathetic little piece of shit You are obviously not at the same level as Madfag.

If I was you I'd take off too utron, you pathetic little piece of shit

Um...I hate to tell you this, but I think utron is straight. I mean, he likes chicks. He might even be married. If you check out GayMatch or the most recent copy of Gay Life I'm sure you can find a soul every bit as forlorn and lonely as yours.

Still, I find it heartening that you're connecting in such a way. Here I was thinking that you were just another worthless, hopeless, pointless, half-assed grabastic troll; and here you make a breakthrought with your own sexuality and reach out right on this blog.

*Sniff*. It brings a tear to the eye, it does. Group hug!

Thanks for caring Monty. In addition to group hugs are you into needlepoint buttboy?

...Though he chuckles again at his turning the puppets statement into a question, his feels a disturbance. That his friends are fictional in no way eases the way this puppet states it as if it were true. "I do have friends, successful friends!" he cries out. A tear leaks out of his bloodshot eyes, but is quickly intercepted and absorbed by one of the questionable lumps that line the leathery flesh under his lids. He looks at his favourite picture beside his computer. With some manipulation, his mug shot blended right in with the photo of the happy looking group of suits that he scavenged from some dumpster ages ago. "My buddies" he whispers softly.

The disturbing sounds of a three hundred pound hirsute woman reaching the threshold of self-induced orgasm shatters the joy his 'reversal wit' has caused him. The walls shake. The filthy glass rattles. PLV cowers in sudden shame. A grown woman, fringing herself! "Yer such a pig" he mutters.

Typed in quickly, with another look at the picture. Such longing in that harrowed, poxy visage. "I'll never forget you, boys" he sighs, raising his hand in salute.

"And just about any other git with a cock what works" he cries out in anger. The walls sound like a hurricane has hit. The beast roars. It is done.

But looking around his hovel, in the depths of his mind, PLV realizes the preposterousness of what he just wrote.

Pure laughter. "It'd be in the image of a boy, you silly twit!"

Contentment fills PLV, as he is quite certain there is no one else like him.

[to be continued]

..."Got you, sock poppet!" He cries out in triumph. He stands, throws up his hands and shakes his booty for all it's worth. The pathetic sight is made sadder when his reeking trousers plunge from the two bone racks Quigger calls his hips and plummet to the floor. The matted mess
hits the ground with the force of concrete. The sound startles PLV, so much so that he can't hold back and soils his undies. He curses in shame, and sulkily sits down. "Fourth time this week..." but his hearts not in it. He sighs as he finishes typing the words. "Thank God it's laundry month coming up."

Not without irony, PLV smells the odor of his own recent mishap. "Boys will be boys" he says with a whimsical smile and a shake of the head. A miniature rain of lice begins.

Overcome with emotion at his unfailing wit, PLV begins tapping on the desk and squishing the mess further around his bony ass. "Diddums, diddums, diddums.."he croons. The word is eerily creepy...which suits him fine. "Diddums for Mikey" he shouts out loud, suddenly wishing a child were around.

Three hours with the thesaurus and dictionary, and the sentence was complete.

Anger hits PLV, suddenly and savagely. "That's right, my little puppet! You don't know what I'm doing here! No you don't!"

Or, he secretly pleads to himself, what our friendship might become?

It's Buttfuckah, moron.

[to be continued]

Wait...needlepoint is gay?

What if you stitch while watching football and drinking beer?

Is anyone watching that cocksucker Bush in Alaska? He has the troops as a backdrop again, something that draft dodger was never man enough to be himself. Then he has the nerve to suggest that anyone that calls him on his lies is undermining the troops. That sounds like an argument you dumbfucks around here like to use.

Yeesh, Madfish, I'm proud to say you're thoroughly creeping me out. You make Bukowski look like Emily Bronte.

American voters will accept a lot of crap from there Presidents bjs in the oval-office cover ups of third rate burglaries selling missiles to Iran. But once American's think their President is lying to them....... Credibility in some ways is like virginity, once it is gone it is difficult to convince people that it has returned.

...Picture the scene.

A grotesque figure, reeking of stale sweat and excrement, going on a five minute song and dance that revolves around rhyming "Sock-Puppet" and "Diddums and Beans"

Teary eyed again. But I wish I knew what he was saying, PLV says to himself. Is it some kind of friendship code? A buddy is a buddy, trust it, perhaps Turbino could telephonea reply?

Loving sight gags, PLV then pulls down his fecal matted shorts and proceeds to insert his clawlike hand into the vacuous hole that lay between his ass. He proceeds to run about the room. "Look, the sock puppet with his hand up his arse!" he cries. Unbidden, another erection blossoms, in it's full four inch glory.

Hand still up his arse. Erection unflagging.

Pounds the keys, then back to running.

"Spankard, spankard!" PLV cries in glee, while proceeding to spank it himself.

Typed, curiously enough, in a perfect match to the howl that erupts from his twiglike figure as another drop of foul goo dribbles from his overstimulated pipe.

"After all," PLV sniffs haughtily, "I never wear a rubber with you." He kisses his right hand passionately.

Quickly typed. The word friends is just too much to take for him tonight.

[to be continued]

Is anyone watching that cocksucker Bush in Alaska?

Thinking of the spandex again?

I thought so.

..."Nasty sock puppet. Nasty" PLV mumbles in a shocked stupor, totally forgetting the perverse scene that just took place in his hovel.

"Clever play on words, Quigger!" PLV sniggers. "You teach that Canuck Sock Puppet a thing or two!" As he compliments himself, he pulls back up his underwear, forgetting the nasty brown present he left himself a short while ago. Mirth is instantly replaced by five minutes of obscene curses.

Only after he wrote it, did PLV realize he was writing about himself. In his guilt, he almost deletes it. But he lets it stand. "Not like he can see me, anyway."

Though he read the dictionary for almost half an hour, PLV just couldn't figure out what subtlety meant. "Probably a Canuck slang word." he says to himself.

Despite the snotty, elitist tone PLV writes, he actually finds the thought of fart jokes hilarious, and cracks up again. The sound is bone chilling. Never does he consider that (sudden breeze) could mean anything else...and to prove it, he cuts the cheese, the sound a gurgling wet flap like the last squawk of a run over trombone.

[to be continued]

I think Madfish is channeling Ace's legendary screenplay. [Just a joke, MW, I'm sure you're following your muse.]

..."Yeah fuckbunny. Go fuck yourself, diddums. Fuckhead fuckbunny fuckpuppet". PLV is in heaven. He sits back. He is well content. The Sock Puppet has been put in his place. The tranquility is broken by the roar of the buffalo.

"PLV, GET IN HERE! I NEED YOU TO WIPE MY ASS!"

Like a broken tree, PLV sways with indecision, then bows his head and walks to the door. "Stupid pig. She's filthy, she is." Then he scrapes across the floor, a gangly beanpole with a mushy bulge in his gotchies. Yet another night with the Sock Puppets is over.

The Crystal Bong shows wonders, and it show horrors...

[The End]

little experience with either sex

you mean, with someone else, right?

SPANK!!1!

you mean, with someone else, right?

I'm holding open the possibility that he's late getting to puberty, so I really mean little experience with sex, and little interaction with either sex.

Edward R, needlepoint is not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and anybody that says differently is getting a needle plunged in the eye.

Been waiting to use that for a long time...

I'd really like to take credit for that, but I got it from here. Check it out - you'll laugh your ass off!!

Thanks MW, but now I need a shower.

geoff, agreed. quite a bit of clues suggesting arrested development.

quite a bit of clues suggesting arrested development.

Can you blame the guy for being a little...upset? Getting cancelled is never easy.

Well, gents, looks like we sent the Right Hon. PLV off crying. A good job by one and all, with special props to Madfish for some good performance-art and free-association. geoff and Edward R. Murrow get points for able assists. Now if we can just evict Bean-O....

Well, gents, looks like we sent the Right Hon. PLV off crying.

. . . or his Mom called him for dinner. Or his big sister needed the computer to do her homework.

Damn, Madfish! Now I'm scared to get anywhere near another AOSHQ flame thread.

Promise me you'll stay away.

Proud Liberal Buttplug is so sadly one-dimensional in his so-called "flames" (and how appropriate that word is in his case!) it's barely worthwhile responding to them.

What a hoot watching these pathetic little motherfuckers congratulating themselves when all they displayed is their ignorance.

LOL!

Hey, PLV.

Guess your sister's done AIMing, huh?

Oh fuck it.
It's not even worth mocking.

Please, if I wanted some pop pyschology I'd drop a dime in the vending machine.

I'm just waiting for spandex boy to get to China so the commies can bat him around and send him home empty handed, like the spinelss retard he is.

Oh, Jesus Christ, PLV. Go squeeze your zits or something. The grown-ups are talking. I'm ignoring you from here on, and I suggest everyone else do the same.

This thread is dead to me. Dead.

I'm ignoring you from here on, and I suggest everyone else do the same.

Works for me: RLV/PLV is putting me to sleep.

PLV,

What unit, precisely, did you serve in?

He was in the jungles of NAM man! Pounding HOS!

I mean, his basement is LIKE a jungle! And he's pounding back HO-HOS!

Oh Geoff, you slay me.

There has yet been a troll from which you can stay away. And Monty, too. The two of you's make me laugh.

(Picture Moe Green saying that last sentence.)

"I was in...Sang Bang...Dang Gong... I was all over the place, a lot of places."

What unit?

"I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalions...Commando Airborne Tactics...Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush. I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, that was me."

oh, and PLV, your MOS please?

Bart:

Well, just remember what happened to ol' Moe Green.

But still, ridiculing trolls is one of the few real pleasures I have in my pathetic waste of a life. Well, that and re-runs of Hee Haw.

STFU!

I mean, uh, I was in the Special Tactics Forest Unit! The one from Forest Gump!

That movie was about me! I mooned Richard Nixon, Republifags! You are so pretty I could kiss you all! Queers!

The Special High Intensity Tactics, Tracking, and Infiltration National Guard Unit.

The SHITTING U.

PLV: You impress me less than the contents of my 'kerchief after I've blown my nose. You are a drowning man, with a failed ideology, clutching at strawmen. Until you have proof, shut your fucking commie ass up! Keep spouting the distortions and spin as truth and you might earn an official Karl Rove proof tinfoil hat autographed by the great Noam Chomsky for your efforts. You are a guise of pompous, sanctimonious arrogance. You are obtuse and throw a tantrum when you have been exposed. You are a base, vile, useless sack of protoplasm. You are beneath contempt. Your hideous nature seeps from your pores. You are black hole stupidity - the kind of stupidity that sucks any intelligence out of the region in which it exists.

Wow, PLV really did put me to sleep. As to Bart: pot & kettle, Mr. Tubino-Tool. Besides, "ya don't know what it's like when you're alone and the Troll-Rays hit!!" [with apologies to Flesh Gordon]

geoff, any more of these troll-feeding outbursts and we may have to shun you.
Kind of like the Amish shunning, but with atomic wedgies.

geoff, any more of these troll-feeding outbursts and we may have to shun you.

Ah, c'mon. I'm sitting here all night running these interminable computer runs, with nothing to do while it's cranking. And then Tubby posts some link that doesn't say what he says it says. And I'm supposed to keep that bottled up?

I'm supposed to keep that bottled up?

Yes.

It's for your own good. Cowboy up.

[Head hanging down] All right, all right. I'll keep trying.

What unit, precisely, did you serve in?

Been a couple hours now. Must be the PTSD.

I'll keep trying.

that's our little buckaroo. good lad.

Posting Trollish Shit Disorder? Wouldn't that make him yammer on MORE?

The sad thing is, when you argue with someone as stupid as PLV, all he has to do is pause for a few minutes, pinch his eyes shut really hard and then type "STUPID FAGS!" in the face of the flames.

When you're stupid, you can do anything. Like vote for Democrats.

I'll keep trying.

"Do, or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

That was Yoda talking. You gonna dis Yoda? I don't want to know what happens to you when you dis Yoda.
He'll levitate your house right into Lake Erie, that's what.
Don't mess with Yoda.

Yoda sez ignore the trolls. Or he'll dump your ass and everything you love into a lake.
In the middle of the night. When your hip-waders are hanging up in the garage and you can't get to them.

You just think about that.

[Begrudgingly] Well, I guess I don't wanna make Yoda mad. Though I'm sure I could buy him off with some iguana porn. [Note to self: stock up on iguana porn] But hey, isn't this the same lauraw who was mud-wrestling with Tubino on some thread last Friday (or thereabouts)? So where's your house, huh? Oh, you probably already stocked up on iguana porn.

The sad thing is, when you argue with someone as stupid as PLV, all he has to do is pause for a few minutes, pinch his eyes shut really hard and then type "STUPID FAGS!

"Never wrestle with a pig. You both end up covered with mud - and the pig sort of likes it."

Just a thought for our remaining Tubby feeders.

(I'd appreciate anyone who can accurately source that quote/paraphr*se, BTW. I've heard it attributed to Twain, Lincoln and just about anyone who ever spouted a folksy phr*se -- and a few who predated folksy phr*sings.)

OK, WTF? Frikkin "iguana porn" is ok, but "p h r a s e" gets effen filtered?!

Yoda friggin' loves all lizard pron, particularly monitor lizard and iguana. Actually I think he gets off on just the word iguana, whispered seductively by a 60-year old female smoker.

You have a good head on your shoulders geoff.
Won't save you.

Yoda friggin' loves all lizard pron

Well, honestly, who doesn't?

*timidly raises hand, but only because he fears the wrath of God*

timidly raises hand, but only because he fears the wrath of God

Then gimme yours - Yoda's comin' to kick my ass.

Prude.

I always miss the troll flamings.

Although I'm too much of a wimp to really participate. I always try to reason with them ... feh.

Knemo, hang out with Sortelli for a few days -- he'll make a man out of you.

Or not.

Delightful! A sleepover with Knemon!

I'll get the gimp outfit.

I found a gem in my saved items folder. Somebody posted this here a long time ago. Apparently its been floating around the internet for a long time.

Its as good a troll-flame that you'll find anywhere. Kind of long. Hold on, I'll post it below:

YES SIR I CONSIDER MYSELF PROFOUNDLY BLESSED THANK YOU SIR FOR CONDESCENDING TO REPLY TO ME.

Also, thank you for explaining my own reaction to me, because I don't understand the nuances of my own thought processes until I have them filtered back to me through the anti-establishment bias of some liberal arts film fucko who thinks it's edgy to criticize big business and quote cop killers. Jesus, could you be more arrogant? Almost every one of these topics you've started is prefaced with something like "please try to think about this objectively" or "set aside your preconceptions and really consider this for a change;" the tacit assumption being that none of us are really giving critical thought to the issue unless we're seeing things the same way you and your hippie idols do. Like your logic is so PRISTINE and UNASSAILABLE that all you have to do is borrow a quotation from one of your third rate sociali*t lice farms, present it to us with a sage wink and nod, advise us all to think long and hard and then prance off to FAIRYLAND to bask in self-contentment while the INEVITABLE TRUTH penetrates our THICK, WAGE-SLAVE SKULLS.

Okay, here goes, I'm thinking critically about what you posted:

You're an idiot.

BLUH FLUH CORPORATIONS ARE EVIL DURR FLURR RACIST IMPERIALIST HEGEMONY AND OTHER SOCIALI*T CATCHPHASES. IN RELATED NEWS: DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM AND SALTY HOT HORSE COCKS

Does that pretty much sum it up? The world as we know it is just the superstructure that has been pulled over our eyes to keep us from discovering the truth of the base OMG THE MATRIX IS REAL!!!@ You're regurgitating the same pinko propaganda circulating every liberal college campus across North America, and it's not revolutionary, it's common and shopworn: big business bad, redistribution of wealth good, MASSIVE MEAT PISTON IN MY TAN ONE CYLINDER OH SO VERY MUCH BETTER. There's a reason we're not falling at your feet for descending from your blue-veined ivory tower and distributing these pearl necklaces of wisdom, and it isn't because we're BLIND CAPITALIST SHEEP tranquilized by our televisions. It's because we've painstakingly analyzed your arguments and decided, independent of any brainwashing by THE MAN, that you're completely goofy. We did this back when the arguments were new, and being expounded by their original authors. If you're going to jerk off in our faces, you could at least have the courtesy to use your own fucking dick.

I got the mock advertisement, okay? I didn't need empty generalizations like "slick oil-crats" to clarify, it was fucking crystalline the first time. Here is what it was not:

A) Funny.
B) Insightful.
C) Heterosexual.

>

I must've misunderstood the part about Uncle Sam being a drug addict and America bringing the 9-11 attacks on itself, then. That was actually quite complimentary of the United States, was it? TIP: expressions of sympathy over the attacks and love for the nation will be a lot more convincing if you're not simultaneously saying BY GOD WE FUCKING DESERVED IT and posting a slew of largely irrelevant pseudofacts that purport to prove why.

I perceive you're shitting on the country BECAUSE YOU ARE. Constantly. In every one of these posts. The real America, anyways; I can't speak with any authority about the idealized Platonic form of America you've distilled from 19th century poetry and your Rage Against The Machine albums.

See also: the part where you compare America to Nazi Germany in its treatment of drug addicts; or rather, the part where you paraphase Allen Ginsburg's comparison, because again, you don't seem to have an original thought in your head. And speaking of whom, this is where you're getting your ideological ammunition? A pot addled cock smoker who scraped together just enough presence of mind to immortalize his paranoid acid fugues in free verse? Great. I'm bowled RIGHT THE FUCK over. Do you have any conception of how insulting it is to anyone who survived the holocaust, not to mention the memories of the dead, to compare the jailing of drug addicts to an attempted genocide which claimed six million lives? You child. You absolute infant. You're calling your mom Hitler because she won't let you borrow the family car.

>

In the last couple of threads you've mostly ignored the irrefutable points he's made against you in favor of latching on to the least salient aspect of his argument and hammering it into the ground. Eagerly awaiting more of the same.

Wow. Better put some ice on that.

Why do you retards always have to get someone else to do your writing for you?

Now, see, I would've been okay with "Republiphags." It has a playful insouciance, a kind of Lovecraftian, Ballantine Adult Fantasy Seriesesque thing going. It screams "you're gay" while actually being gay itself. Marvelous!

But no. Trolls never pick up on the obvious.

Like you, I was sharing a joke with the group.
Except mine was funny.

Oh shit.

Yoda's gonna be pissed.

*trundling to the backroom for some Komodo dragon pron*

Maybe he served with Jesse Duckworth in the Rammstein field of Vietnam operations. Or maybe he was John Kerry's coxswain when he crossed into Cambodia under Nixon's orders (gotta keep that one hush hush).

Noone told me there was a troll on the AoS plane! Imagine that, here, of all places!

Go get 'em, lauraw. You truly r teh real terrorist.

Maybe Proud Liberal Closeted Pillowbiter should consider hiring someone else to write for him.

Oh, that was a beauty, lauraw.

Yeah well you faggy fags are just a bunch of retarded fags! So there!

Incidentally, I've just been hired by Al Franken to provide insults for his next book, tentatively titled "You Neocons Are a Bunch of Doodyheads."

This has got fag written all over it.

Bush rarely speaks to father, ‘family is split’
Tue Nov 15 2005 11:23:51 ET

President Bush feels betrayed by several of his most senior aides and advisors and has severely restricted access to the Oval Office, INSIGHT magazine claims in a new report.

The president’s reclusiveness in the face of relentless public scrutiny of the U.S.-led war in Iraq and White House leaks regarding CIA operative Valerie Plame has become so extreme that Mr. Bush has also reduced contact with his father, former President George H.W. Bush, administration sources said on the condition of anonymity.

“The atmosphere in the Oval Office has become unbearable,” a source said. “Even the family is split.”

INSIGHT: Sources close to the White House say that Mr. Bush has become isolated and feels betrayed by key officials in the wake of plunging domestic support, the continued insurgency in Iraq and the CIA-leak investigation that has resulted in the indictment and resignation of Lewis “Scooter” Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff.

The sources said Mr. Bush maintains daily contact with only four people: first lady Laura Bush, his mother, Barbara Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes. The sources also say that Mr. Bush has stopped talking with his father, except on family occasions.

OK, bought off Yoda for a little while. He's curled up in front of the VCR with the door closed.

In what unit did you serve, PLV? What branch of the military?

PLV, you have used the word "fag" in almost every comment you've made. Get a frickin' thesaurus or something.

if you go down to the river, I'll bet you're going to find some people who live.

He served in the Helicopter Observation Mission Objectives Service and Firing Assessment Ground Squad.

A proud member of the HOMOS and FAGS.

You don't have to worry, though you have no money, the people at the river are a self-sustaining organic commune dedicated to taking in transients and setting them on the Path.

I am *not* going back in the gimp suit.

Unless I get a popper. Do I get a popper?

Are we sure this is actually a real troll?

big wheel, keep on turnin
Toulous a keep on burnin

Way to get someone else to write for you, Proud Liberal Asscrack!

I seem to be getting these conservative chicks hot.

Well, I understand a lot of women are attracted to gay guys, so that makes perfect sense.

In what unit of the military did you serve?

No I think they just enjoy the company of real men.

I flew a helicopter in Nam. They sent me to Antartica after that, then the Artic, then 6 years in Korea. Finally, they retired me to SF.

Okayyyy...Navy pilot? What unit?

That's all you crack pots get out of me.

lauraw:

1) You made me break my "this thread is dead to me vow" with your feminine wiles. You are a saucy wench, and I'm afraid you must submit to a bare-bottom spanking with a hairbrush. Preferably while wearing a "St. Pauli Girl" outfit.

2) PLV is a zit-faced fifteen year old dipshit and will never tell you his unit or MOS because he doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about. The closest he's ever come to military service was playing Counter-Strike on the X-Box with his "sensitive" friend Gaylord. If you ignore him, maybe he'll crawl back to whatever fetid pit he crawled out of.

Preferably while wearing a "St. Pauli Girl" outfit.

Lauraw:

I should have specified that it will be you in this outfit, not me. You know, before you give me any kind of grief about it. And no whining about the penalty: you knew the risks. Don't be a playa if you don't like the game.

Laura if you ever get tired of these puffballs I'll show you a good time.

who cares what the troll did for a living.

I should have specified that it will be you in this outfit, not me.

You know we wondered, don't you?

Hey, Monty, Counter Strike was an excellent game. If that doesn't count as mlitary service...well, there goes my pension.

lauraw, lauraw, lauraw

Here I am, iguana pron stash intact, cuz' after I floated my house out of that lake I remained true to my word. But you, alley-cattin' around with mister faux-pilot (who can't even spell the places he was supposedly stationed at), are headin' for a wedgin' (atomic, that is).

I flew a chopper in NAM! I would always bury Charlies with their hands sticking out of the ground so they could wave goodbye to me.

busted.

PLV - hint. It's a 4 digit number and it starts with "8"

You're all quite right, I know it. We knew already that it never served in the military. Didn't Ace post recently on how libbies feel the need to invent fake military histories for themselves?

But its clumsy unimaginative come-on seals the deal. It is a youngster for sure.

I never was much for babysitting.
Heading up to the fresher threads now...see ya!

Ace, can you help me? I am looking for my twin brother. We were separated at birth, but I have a feeling he may be around here in your comments section somewhere.

...hmmm....PLV, could it be!!???

Brother is that you?

(reads comments)

IT IS YOU! OMG, I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR SOOO LONG!

Please come home, PLV, mom (the first woman ever bestowed an honorary doctorate from harvard, stanford, yale, and brown at the age of 12) and dad (the inventor of time,,,{yes, time}) are worried SICK!!

Holy shit, your dad invented Time? That's so awesome! I'm going to buy all of your books now!

... waaaait a minute.

Is this shit hole filled with fag detectives or what?

Well, we detected that you're a fag, so... I guess so!

PLV: Hey, just want to let you know that I took no courses or training whatsoever in any form of investigative process.

And I still could tell that you're about as far from a member of our armed forces as a one-legged dog chasing a speeding car.

That is to say, you are not very smart or convincing. Don't ever change.

Inspector Sortelli thinks Bush is a war hero too, which proves how smart he is. However, as I said before I don't mind having put my life on the line so pieces of shit like you turds are free to hate soldiers.

It's people like your leftard buddies that hate on the soldiers, fuckwit. Like you, for example, pretending to be one when you're obviously nothing more than a drooling moonbat and a closet homo.

Okay, which one of you jokesters is PLV?

Ace?

Monty?

Michael?

Dave in Texas?

Time to fess up.

zetetic I know fags like you hate soldiers. All Republicans hate soldiers, except when they need them as a back drop for a photo op.

PLV, please come home. Me and Jim massey have been worried sick about you. I mean, I was worried enough when the evil Republikkkans sent you to baghdad to capture Saddam with a frayed shoe-lace and a spork, in nothing but a burka to wear. I just wonder how you managed to slay all those philistines with just a jawbone... but I digress.

Please come home, PLV. It's time we hung your war medals up on the refrigerator next to the drawing you did last year when you were in third grade.

Besides, we have some soldiers...ahem...brothers...to go spit on, right?

PLV, I've wasted far too much of my time pointing out what an idiot you are, so in closing I just want to say...

YOU'RE A FAGGY FAG, YOU FAG!

Have a nice day now, hear?

Proud Liberal Vet (or as the anagram would have it - A Lube Drivel Port) - you wanted legislation cited - well here it is:

Joint Resolution on Iraq 10/11/02 (Link)

Excerpts:

SEC. 3. AUTHORIZATION FOR USE OF UNITED STATES ARMED FORCES.

(a) AUTHORIZATION- The President is authorized to use the Armed Forces of the United States as he determines to be necessary and appropriate in order to--

(1) defend the national security of the United States against the continuing threat posed by Iraq; and

(2) enforce all relevant United Nations Security Council resolutions regarding Iraq.

Oops - sorry, last post mine.