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Top Headlines

Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy America
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."

Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope!

Google finally gets one right

Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit.
Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?)
I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones.

Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more!

Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation)

Via Archimedes:

Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter

Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

More at this ineffable link

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it:
Athletic (boogie down)
Hustle (turn back)
Feel pathetic (sugar town)
No muscle (soul hack)
I'm jumping (you move)
No dancer (beside me)
I'm thumping (you prove)
Don't get no answer

TJM dives into the thrill a minute cinema of Andrei Tarkovsky

Building collapses during 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Colombia

On "Professor" Arday:

He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple.

-- Krebs v Carnot

TJM definitively ranks the films of Sergio Leone. You won't believe #6. Real hot take there.

Bro spent four years/4000 hours painting an eleven-foot long cutaway-view layout of the USS Enterprise

Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products
Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD]

Podcast: More Iran bluster from Trump? Enough! Deportations hit a record, and that is a good thing for all, Todd Blanche's nomination is out of committee, the DSA is on the march, and more!

TJM struggles with Sergio Leone's legacy

The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes
Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long.

TJM wonders what the most Scorsese movie that Scorsese ever Scorsesed was

TJM definitively ranks the films of Fritz Lang

Recent Comments

m: ">>>By-Tor's dog Ruger on the way to a hike earlier ..."

Piper: "55 Will she let you wipe her down with a cat wipe? ..."

nurse ratched: "Will she let you wipe her down with a cat wipe? P ..."

naturalfake: " The weird thing about Platypuses is that they ha ..."

Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Afternoon all So, pigs acting piggish. Squirr ..."

Piper: "50 Lucy the Fink is still pretty funky smelling af ..."

Linda S Fox: "I'm reaching Tue point where I am getting afraid t ..."

Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b] [/s]: "[i]Lucy the Fink is still pretty funky smelling af ..."

KT: "21 Pies: Of the options available? Have you eve ..."

Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Poblanos are not really spicy so I don't think the ..."

nurse ratched: "Lucy the Fink is still pretty funky smelling after ..."

Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Emmie, that's a great idea. I was thinking the bes ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Hobby Thread - August 22, 2026 [TRex] Ace of Spades Pet Thread, August 22 Gardening, Home and Nature Thread, Aug. 22 Mascots of The Anointed - This Story Isn't Going Away The Classical Saturday Morning Coffee Break & Prayer Revival Daily Tech News 22 August 2026 We Are Gathered Here Together To ONT Touchy Cats Cafe The Week In Woke Hollywood: Shit or Garbage? Absent Friends Captain Whitebread 2026 Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Winning Qualifications for California School Board \| Main \| US Arrested, And Released, Iraqi With Same Name As Amman Bomber » November 14, 2005 Are You a Canadian Prison Guard? Let me give you some career advice. Find a new job, while you still can. Aside from the novel theory that giving inmates broader access to very useful weapons is a good thing, does anyone else figure that the sort of prisoner who most wants tattoos will want a gang/racist/unapproved tattoo? That's okay, though, because the bleeding-hearts mean well, so whether their ideas are actually, you know, GOOD ONES, is beside the point. posted by Harry Callahan at 02:11 PM Comments Hmm... so heroin is readily available in the prisons? Well, I guess the silver lining is that it can't be all that hard to get cigarettes. Posted by: Guy T. on November 14, 2005 02:27 PM So, in their concern for public health, they are handing out needles to the inmates? I can see it...I mean, afterall, if those needles are then used as weapons, there will be far fewer public menaces with which to concern themselves. Next step? Hypo-allergenic, 100% Egyptian cotton bedsheets (300 t.c.), used as tourniquets, to prevent infection to their wounds and new, soft, toilet seats to make face-flushing a less traumatic experience. Posted by: jmflynny on November 14, 2005 02:42 PM jmflynny, 300 thread count? You evil SOB - anything under 500 tc is unspeakably inhumane and you know it! What is it with you people and torturing prisoners? Posted by: Enas Yorl on November 14, 2005 02:59 PM I've heard that we're handing over prisoners to Jordan. They make them sleep on... oh, I can't bear to even type this... it's horrible, just terrible... POLYESTER BLEND! HOW CAN WE LIVE WITH OURSELVES?! Posted by: Sue Dohnim on November 14, 2005 03:55 PM My tentative retirement plan is to rob a bank in Canada and get sent to prison. Posted by: Dave Munger on November 14, 2005 04:22 PM I have a lot of friends who are cops in Vancouver - and needles are their number one concern. Druggies even use them to rob gas stations. At any given time there are a few cops on medical leave taking an anti-AIDS drug cocktail "just in case" after getting stuck with a needle during a search or an arrest. The local needle "exchange" is run by a bunch of sloppy, enabling mofo's and they rarely insist on an actual exchange. I'm told that in the old days a junkie would die to protect his rig - but now they don't care and will casually use them as weapons. Ahh, progress. Posted by: holdfast on November 14, 2005 04:27 PM Come now, Enas. You wouldn't really want to be accused of 'coddling', now would you? I say "Screw 'em!" 300 t.c. is all they deserve! Posted by: jmflynny on November 14, 2005 05:23 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy America "All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb." Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope! Google finally gets one right Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real." Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure. TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones. Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more! Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation) Via Archimedes: *Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter* Chocolate Cherry Cordial You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate. Caramel Chew There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal. More at this ineffable link Forgotten 80s Mystery Click I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it: Athletic (boogie down) Hustle (turn back) Feel pathetic (sugar town) No muscle (soul hack) I'm jumping (you move) No dancer (beside me) I'm thumping (you prove) Don't get no answer TJM dives into the thrill a minute cinema of Andrei Tarkovsky Building collapses during 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Colombia On "Professor" Arday: He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple. -- Krebs v Carnot TJM definitively ranks the films of Sergio Leone. You won't believe #6. Real hot take there. Bro spent four years/4000 hours painting an eleven-foot long cutaway-view layout of the USS Enterprise Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD] Podcast: More Iran bluster from Trump? Enough! Deportations hit a record, and that is a good thing for all, Todd Blanche's nomination is out of committee, the DSA is on the march, and more! TJM struggles with Sergio Leone's legacy The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long. TJM wonders what the most Scorsese movie that Scorsese ever Scorsesed was TJM definitively ranks the films of Fritz Lang Recent Comments m: ">>>By-Tor's dog Ruger on the way to a hike earlier ..." Piper: "55 Will she let you wipe her down with a cat wipe? ..." nurse ratched: "Will she let you wipe her down with a cat wipe? P ..." naturalfake: " The weird thing about Platypuses is that they ha ..." Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Afternoon all So, pigs acting piggish. Squirr ..." Piper: "50 Lucy the Fink is still pretty funky smelling af ..." Linda S Fox: "I'm reaching Tue point where I am getting afraid t ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b] [/s]: "[i]Lucy the Fink is still pretty funky smelling af ..." KT: "21 Pies: Of the options available? Have you eve ..." Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Poblanos are not really spicy so I don't think the ..." nurse ratched: "Lucy the Fink is still pretty funky smelling after ..." Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Emmie, that's a great idea. I was thinking the bes ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 December 0000 Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64

Are You a Canadian Prison Guard?