Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Monday Overnight Open Thread (9/15/25)
Blue Monday Cafe Joe Manchin: Obama and Biden Destroyed "the Guardrails" That Make Peaceful Democracy Possible Trump Destroys Another Narcoterrorist Drug Boat The Trans-"Ally" Antifa Assassin Confessed to His Trans Pals JD Vance Guest Hosts the Charlie Kirk Show: "This is not a 'both sides' problem" FBI Investigating a Conspiracy of Violent Far-Left Transgenders Who Proclaimed That Charlie Kirk Would be Murdered on September 10th and Who Admitted Their Role in the Conspiracy: "We F***ing Did It!" Washington Post Fires Left-Wing Extremist DEI Savage for Dancing on Charlie Kirk's Grave, Suggesting His Assassination Is Warranted The Commuter Rail Murder: Disincorporate Charlotte, Dissolve Mecklenburg County, Eliminate the District Court Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Barack Obama: No Reason For Extra Scrutiny For Young Male Arabs From Terrorist-Producing States |
Main
| Zarqawi's Sister Arrested; Bomb Didn't Detonate »
November 12, 2005
Army: "We Want Artificial Gills!"Well, like, who the hell doesn't? Not a boy on the face of the earth who hasn't been dreaming about an artificial gill since he first saw Thunderball. Actually, even cooler is the fact that the Navy wants to mimic sharks' electro-vision: A shark doesn't use its eyes to find its next meal. It relies on jelly-filled canals inside its head to pick up on the tiny electrical charges that potential morsel makes when it flexes its muscles, or swims counter to the earth's magnetic fields. As a guy, I thought I knew a lot about sharks. I took pride in knowing about sharks. But this whole "electro-vision" thing, I just never heard about before. I thought everything was smell with them. posted by Ace at 01:11 AM
CommentsWhose Aquaman's girlfriend there? Hot. But really, her special underwater super-outfit is khakis and a tubetop? What is it, casual Friday at the JLA? Posted by: Reo Symes on November 12, 2005 01:21 AM
Regarding electric vision, electric eels do it even better. They use low level electric currents to detect potential prey, and when something's near they crank up the juice and stun the fish with a huge charge. Big ones can produce 600 volts. Posted by: Steven Den Beste on November 12, 2005 01:21 AM
You know what this means, don't you? If we invent artificial gills, that means Aquaman is finally rendered completely superfluous, as we all always knew he would be. F'ing pussyfishman. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 12, 2005 01:31 AM
The electro vision thing only works at very close range (for sharks, at least). While a shark is constricting it's jaws, it's eyes close. That's where the EV bit does it's work, keeping the strike on target. Posted by: West on November 12, 2005 01:35 AM
well i heard that sharks can sense minute electro movements from afar ... Posted by: on November 12, 2005 01:42 AM
Half an hour, folks! We will be shutting down very soon and flying south... Um, east for the winter. We'll be down for a few hours, but we will return! Posted by: Pixy Misa on November 12, 2005 01:42 AM
With the blog about to go down, for the record, I just want to tell everyone here at Ace of Spades HQ that it was both an honor and a privilege commenting with everyone. As for Ace himself. . . I hope he survives the freezing process. He's worth a lot to me. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 12, 2005 01:54 AM
WE ARE BACK!!!!!! Damn but that sucked. Remind me not to do it again. Posted by: Pixy Misa on November 12, 2005 12:24 PM
Aargh! It's a pit of bottomless suck! Posted by: Pixy Misa on November 12, 2005 12:32 PM
But this at least seems to work. Posted by: Pixy Misa on November 12, 2005 12:33 PM
Hey ace you should try these gills on your radio show, maybe they will help you to pronounce "cabal" Posted by: Village Idiot on November 12, 2005 01:00 PM
when something's near they crank up the juice and stun the fish with a huge charge. I demand this ability be conferred upon me immediately. Posted by: lauraw on November 12, 2005 01:09 PM
Aqua Man's girlfriend has to wear the khakis to keep her from floating to the surface. Or, to re-phrase, check out those pontoons. Posted by: Brass on November 12, 2005 01:11 PM
Aquaman may be gay but, the Submariner kicks @ss! Posted by: MCPO Airdale on November 12, 2005 01:48 PM
Sign me up for a pair! I may never leave water though. I always thought the little mermaid a fool for wanting land. Now if they can come up with a way to fly, the world will be mine!!! Posted by: Rachel Ann on November 12, 2005 02:03 PM
You never did pay attention in class. Posted by: Your 5th Grade Science Teacher on November 12, 2005 02:36 PM
One thing this info doesn't change: if you're snorkeling and spearfishing in water with a lot of sharks, you're asking for it. I was lucky enough to see a shark while snorkeling at dusk last summer (Caribbean vacation). Only about 4' long, but still... gets your attention. I don't think I have a death wish, but I get a good tingle when snorkeling at night, knowing there's a chance I could be someone's prey. It's the ocean, man... we're just lucky to visit. Posted by: tubino on November 12, 2005 02:38 PM
but when do the sharks get frickin laser beams? Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 12, 2005 03:41 PM
To keep you sociopaths off the street, here's a word search puzzle for you. The hidden words are related to the Ace of Spades Lifestyle: A N K A R U V D B L S Posted by: sandy burger on November 12, 2005 04:24 PM
As a guy, I thought I knew a lot about sharks. I took pride in knowing about sharks. And people notice that about you, Ace, and respect it. I've always said: now Ace is a guy who knows from sharks. People know what I mean. It's a sign of respect. Posted by: sandy burger on November 12, 2005 06:57 PM
I've found Anka, Booby, and Vodka so far. But I always see those things everywhere I look when I stop taking my meds. Posted by: Sortelli on November 12, 2005 07:31 PM
Also "Viking" and... Wait, Hasselhof is part of the AoS lifestyle? GET ME OFF THIS CRAZY THING. Posted by: Sortelli on November 12, 2005 07:32 PM
"Alcohol" "Coil" Huffer? Posted by: on November 12, 2005 07:54 PM
VALURITE Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 12, 2005 08:04 PM
Surf some sites on great whites. The closeup pics show little pits in the nose. Those pits are the electro sensors. In a shark attack if ,your can avoid sticking your arm in the mouth, punching it in the nose creates whtite noise to the electro sensors and puts the shark off. Posted by: Speller on November 12, 2005 08:05 PM
It was supposed to contain "cowbell", but I just noticed that I managed to screw that one up. Oh well. Posted by: sandy burger on November 12, 2005 08:26 PM
Now that you mention it, how the hell do we not have artificial gills yet, isn't it just an osmotic membrane or something? And how is it possible not to know about sharky electrovision without being one of those TV-less freaks? Posted by: D on November 12, 2005 09:10 PM
Now that you mention it, how the hell do we not have artificial gills yet, isn't it just an osmotic membrane or something Surface area is a big problem. Posted by: Pixy Misa on November 12, 2005 09:53 PM
Hello Fairtax supporters, I have been thinking about it and I have an idea that could potentially get the Fairtax passed. It is simple. Fairtax bloggers need to unanimously propose a libertarian voting block. Pledging full support to all politicians who vow to pass the Fairtax (regardless of their party affiliation). Republicans and Democrats are practically split 50-50. If we could promise 100% of our voting block, some of the politicians might take us up on our offer. If we can get politicians elected based on their support for the Fairtax, other of the slimy politicians will follow suit. If you want to contact me, my email is matt_masterson@hotmail.com or you can reach me from my blog at http://meatheadedlibertarian.blogspot.com Posted by: penxv on November 13, 2005 03:50 AM
Comment comment Posted by: Pixy Misa on November 13, 2005 07:15 AM
Hey Pixy Misa - thanks for all the work getting the site moved over. I really appreciate it. Posted by: geoff on November 13, 2005 11:15 AM
So is this site working or not? There are no new posts for nearly 36 hours. Just saying, not demanding, and just curious to see whether or not I'm still under the influence of Valu-Rite. Posted by: Laddy on November 13, 2005 01:27 PM
Everything seems normal and even the Aceholes are back on the job. Nice work, Pixie. Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 13, 2005 11:41 PM
Congrats on the migration Pixy. I think the new server is still on EDT. Or Atlantic Standard. I don't do this for a living. Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 14, 2005 12:19 PM
Do you ever feel like you're reading about the Wright Brothers' foolhardy plans to become "aeronauts"? I love the 21st century. Posted by: Pompous on November 14, 2005 12:26 PM
Will they be like the ones in STAR WARS I THE PHANTOM MENECE? Posted by: spurwing plover on November 14, 2005 04:07 PM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Maori men in NZ do a haka war display for Charlie Kirk
You vicious bastards shot the wrong man. You have set the world on fire. This will be your apocalypse.
Nick Freitas responds to the Left's intentional lies that they are always the victim and the Right is always the oppressor. He refuses to play their game anymore. This is a must view. [dri]
I wonder if he was fearless. I wonder if he was scared. I wonder if he just did it anyway?-- Mike Rowe
Low-T High-Calorie Potato Brian Stelter: "Matthew Dowd is no longer an MSNBC political analyst, according to a network source."
Matt Dowd, former Disney Groomer Corporation Political Director and John McCain advisor (of course), is the one who blamed Charlie Kirk's shooting on the real assassin, Charlie Kirk, claiming that Charlie's "hateful words lead to hateful actions."
Trump speaks about the "heinous assassination" of Charlie Kirk, notes the left relentlessly demonized him until they radicalized an assassin to kill him
"For years, the radical left has compared wonderful Americans like Charlie to NAZlS... this type of language is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the terrorism we're seeing in our country today.
Argentinian PM Javier Millei: "The left is always, at all times and places, a violent phenomenon full of hatred."
I disregard their hate. It's the violence that we object to. And we will begin objecting to it with force.
Update: Kash Patel says the person of interest has been interrogated and then released. Wrong guy, I guess.
But as the hours pass without a real suspect, and with the FBI apparently interrogating uninvolved people, I begin to fear the assassin has escaped. I mean, they don't seem to be following a breadcrumb trail, they seem genuinely baffled.
Karol Sheinin: I can confirm the person of interest questioned by the FBI is Zachariah Ahmed Qureshi.
If this is the guy -- apparently he also interned at Heritage. Update: Source says he's been released? Wrong guy?
Fat-F*ck Pritzker blames Trump's rhetoric for the ramp up of political violence! May he rot in hell! [CBD]
![]()
Broward County Officials Accused of Adding Over 100,000 Ineligible Voters to the Rolls It is too soon to know how it happened, but...Republicans are watching! And that is how it is done. [CBD]
Federal judge temporarily blocks Trump from firing Federal Reserve Gov Lisa Cook With absolutely nonsensical reasoning, but you already knew that. [CBD]
![]()
James Varney: Reflecting on Hurricane Katrina twenty years later, and the partisan uses Democrats found for it
There was fear aplenty. But the truth is, a lot of the panic Americans saw on television was performative. The throngs of people along Convention Center Boulevard sat patiently in the broiling weather, five or six deep in folding chairs on the sidewalk, waiting for something, someone, to arrive. Then, a television crew or photographer would show up, and people would pour into the street, falling on their knees, screaming and gesticulating to the camera. It was an awful situation, obviously, but when the camera wasn't on them, it was remarkable how patient and orderly everyone was.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: the most repetitive but catchy earworm of the eighties?
Sometimes, I find you doubt my love for you but I don't mind Why should I mind? Why should I mind? It's hard to quote the song while avoiding quoting from the endlessly-repeated chorus. Wait, my mistake, his other hit from 1985 was the most repetitive new wave hit of the 80s.
David French Is Aggressively and Persistently Dishonorable, But Fortunately He's Also Really Bad At It
Here's a solid beating of the execrable French! [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I'm gonna get high, man, I'm gonna get loose/ Need me a triple shot of that juice Recent Comments
Gref:
"268
Ugh.
Posted by: Gref at September 15, 2025 0 ..."
Itinerant Alley Butcher: " 259 239 Reforger 👍 Posted by: Bulg I ..." Hadrian the Seventh : " Ugh. Posted by: Gref at September 15, 2025 09:5 ..." Berserker-Dragonheads Division : "Fanaeian leads the organization called "Armed Quee ..." BeckoningChasm: "I want a nice peaceful cafe where I can sip someth ..." Itinerant Alley Butcher: "Sorry, I wasn't in the services. Is a distinction ..." Gref: "The Houston Texans, a pre-season consensus for-cer ..." JM in Illinois: "Thank you; please keep the good news * coming * ..." Mikey Alpha Kilo, Nerd? Yes, we much: "When I was in the Army, the best junior officers w ..." Common Tater: "Most of the new officers regardless of sourcing, s ..." JM in Illinois: " >>Here’s what you need to know: Read th ..." Bulg: "239 Reforger 👍 ..." Bloggers in Arms
RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
|