Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021

Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

TBD





















« No Sympathy For You! | Main | The Right Medicine »
November 11, 2005

29 No-Nos for Gamers Over 30

Shamelessly stolen from Joystiq:

1. Participate in LAN parties with minors
2. Quit your job to pursue a pro-gaming career
3. Start a Star Wars themed PC case mod in the living room
4. Ever use the jargon OMG, BBQ and WTF together in the same phrase
5. Pirate games - shouldn’t you have an income by now?
6. Find the idea of teamkilling funny
7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her
8. Refuse to play games that are rated lower than mature
9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2
10. Play any game with Princess Toadstool in it


11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words “hell,” “killer,” “death,” or ”-inator”
12. Yell “pwnt” in a public virtual space
13. Play a female character in an MMOG in order to troll for “Crying Game” victims
14. Disconnect when losing at Starcraft or any other RTS
15. Ninja loot
16. Get your gaming news from a print publication
17. Replace the letter S with a dollar sign when writing Microsoft, Sony, or PlayStation
18. Live in your parents’ basement to support a gaming habit
19. Break mice in a fit of rage after being served in an FPS game
20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum
21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap
22. Carry softcore anime porn on your PSP to show the guys at work
23. Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects
24. Play competitively against anyone under the age of 10
25. Read or write fanfiction
26. Yell or type, “Laggg” when losing an online game
27. Bogart the controller
28. Work at GameStop “just for the discount”
29. Type liek JeffK

posted by Harry Callahan at 11:00 AM
Comments



I'm grateful that I understood very little of that.

I must be doing something right.

Posted by: The Warden on November 11, 2005 11:19 AM

Oh yeah, well....

http://picard.ytmnd.com/

Picard would so pwn Chuck Norris and you all know it!

Posted by: isayalotofthings on November 11, 2005 11:38 AM

Challenging Ace for the geek of the year award, Harry?

Posted by: JFH on November 11, 2005 11:40 AM

I'm sorry, but teamkilling is always funny.

Posted by: The Apologist on November 11, 2005 11:42 AM

Don't do the game thingy... WFT is "teamkilling"?

Posted by: Madfish Willie on November 11, 2005 12:20 PM

OK, I admit that I played Knights of the Old Republic and fell in love with Balista. So much so I had her play most of the game in her underwear.

http://www.mobygames.com/images/shots/original/1073488223-00.jpg

Do you realize how hard it was to play that game one-handed?

God I'm pathetic.

Posted by: TomB on November 11, 2005 12:23 PM

"... Over 30".

I'm over 60, are all those back in play now?

Posted by: Retired Geezer on November 11, 2005 12:37 PM

Nevermind... I'm a dumbass.....

Posted by: Madfish Willie on November 11, 2005 12:38 PM

I'm with the Warden. What do #6, #9, and #15 mean, anyway?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste on November 11, 2005 12:40 PM

I am taking offense to # 11.

Posted by: [DeathBy]Monkey on November 11, 2005 12:44 PM

Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects.

C'mon, that's cool, right?

Posted by: slickdpdx on November 11, 2005 12:49 PM

Check out the Urban Dictionary for "teabag." It has to do with nuts.

Posted by: rd on November 11, 2005 12:51 PM

I do/have done 6 of the items on this list.

I will not reveal which 6, though. I have my dignity.

(Although, laughing myself silly over teamkilling is definitely one of them. No way that one's out of bounds.)

Posted by: Phinn on November 11, 2005 01:24 PM

Hurray! A Friday geek thread. Confessions:

-am way past 30
-gamer
-like to post about the good ole days (aka PONG)
-guilty of too many of these to cite each

On the plus side. Did a twelve step program and have been "clean" for 6 months. Now tell me more about this Knights of the Old Republic, doh.

Posted by: doc on November 11, 2005 01:24 PM

So where does scream-typing "stfu noOb" fall in?

Or "wtf camping!"

Posted by: Christopher Cross on November 11, 2005 01:38 PM

I only have this to add: Leeeee-roy illustrates a good way to get your team and yourself killed while acting like a total choad. Pretty funny if you're a gamer. Which I'm not. But it was still funny.

Posted by: Monty on November 11, 2005 01:50 PM

Leeeee-roy illustrates a good way to get your team and yourself killed while acting like a total choad.

OMFG!!!!one!!! "At least I have chicken."

Posted by: S. Weasel on November 11, 2005 02:26 PM

S. Weasel:

They should have called that Leroy clip The Perils of Gaming While High.

Posted by: Monty on November 11, 2005 02:50 PM

I am pretty damn geeky, yes. I'm surprised I've restrained myself from gushing about the impending release of the XBOX 360... That day will come.

Posted by: Harry Callahan on November 11, 2005 03:02 PM

So, 29 No-Nos for Gamers Over 30? Well here's a 30th:

30. Don't be a gamer over 30.

Posted by: sandy burger on November 11, 2005 03:36 PM

OK Sandy Burger, admit that YOU are a gamer over 30!!

Btw, I'm collecting mini card games for my site. Anybody have any good links?

http://www.cardtoss.com

Posted by: Liza on November 11, 2005 04:20 PM

OK Sandy Burger, admit that YOU are a gamer over 30!!

No. But I am a lamer over 30.

Posted by: sandy burger on November 11, 2005 04:33 PM

Maryland wants to make "upskirting" illegal. What's the world come to?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste on November 11, 2005 05:02 PM

I must disagree with #9. It just shouldn't be overused. We all know there absolutely are situations where a teabagging is in order and I will continue to issue them as required.

Carry On.

Posted by: Silk on November 11, 2005 09:55 PM

I have won an argument in a game forum. It involved crafting a post just right that hit nearly everyone's funnybone hard, while making teh lam3 n00b look like a complete idiot, causing him to slink off, never to return.

Hero for a day. Heh.

Small victories. I'll take 'em where I can.

Posted by: Desert Cat on November 11, 2005 11:36 PM

...lol...the only two I admit to doing on a regular basis is the teabag and 'pwnt.' But I usually reserve 'pwnt' with the following tea bag for the n00b campers who don't appreciate the finer aspects of strategy.

I like to mix it with a gun salute and a good smack. ;)

Posted by: mooseman on November 12, 2005 06:03 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton chat about the end game in Iran, what to do about the Fed, its supposed "independence," and its hyper-politicized chairman, the housing crunch, and Trump's harebrained suggestion to decrease credit card interest!
Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, and an always interesting observer of the human and political condition, has died. RIP.
[CBD]
Tousi TV: France closes embassy in Tehran, US Department of State advises all US citizens to get out of Iran
He's been saying that Tuesday will be a decisive day. Other reports say that Trump is in the last stages of planning an action against the mullahs. (And other reports say that Tucker Carlson Simp JD Vance is attempting to get Trump to agree to "negotiations" with Iran -- for fucking what? What do we get out of saving the fucking mullahs and letting them kill and torture their own people? Apart from Tucker Carlson getting to pretend he's a Big Man Influencer and that he's worth all the Qatari money he's receiving.)
Asmongold predicted that AWFLs would turn on immigration the moment we started importing hot women into the country, and he was right
via garrett
New video shows ICE agent being rammed and dragged while clinging to the car's hood; communist filth continue claiming he wasn't hit at all
Venezuelans who fled Maduro's tyranny just discovered that they can send him mail in prison and that the US will deliver it to him
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Venezuela...nation-building or our interests? Minnesota insurrection heats up, be careful what you wish for Democrats, dive bars, and more!
More bad news for Nicholas Maduro as old blackface photos resurface
Ay yi yi, the week this guy is having!
Cynics will say this is AI
Did Everpeak and Hilton lie? Nick Sorter thinks they did, and has video evidence! [CBD]
New Yorkers are shocked after footage goes viral of NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani's Tenant Director stating that white people will be HEAVILY impacted after they transition property "as an individual good to a collective good" [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaka khan, chaka khan
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: The Somali grift might be the biggest financial scandal in American history, will the Mullahs finally fall? CFPB gets a lifeline from a corrupt judge, Brigitte Bardot...RIP, and more!
Lurker extraordinaire announces impending surgery: Victor Davis Hanson: 'Not Yet and Not Today'
Best wishes for a speedy recovery! [CBD]
Recent Comments
Mr Aspirin Factory: "ICE involved in another shooting Minneapolis; a Ve ..."

weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "[i]They also invented cast iron and had Jesuits ca ..."

mindful webworker - world full of heroes and villains: "I remember when the Berlin Wall went up. I could n ..."

Tom Servo: "346 have we considered annexing France? it's warme ..."

Kindltot - Si, se poden: "[i]How will they resupply their defense force? Po ..."

Methos: "After Greenland, Trump will go for Kamchatcha. - ..."

Auspex: " To be fair to Tom Friedman, he only repeated was ..."

Way, Way Downriver [/i]: " (Zoom to 500%) You do that and you'll poke yo ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Anyway, when the Chicoms finally win, they model t ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "It is interesting: for all of their investment and ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: " Thomas L. Friedman ..."

ErikInTexas: "ICE involved in another shooting Minneapolis; a Ve ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives