Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« No Sympathy For You! | Main | The Right Medicine »
November 11, 2005

29 No-Nos for Gamers Over 30

Shamelessly stolen from Joystiq:

1. Participate in LAN parties with minors
2. Quit your job to pursue a pro-gaming career
3. Start a Star Wars themed PC case mod in the living room
4. Ever use the jargon OMG, BBQ and WTF together in the same phrase
5. Pirate games - shouldn’t you have an income by now?
6. Find the idea of teamkilling funny
7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her
8. Refuse to play games that are rated lower than mature
9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2
10. Play any game with Princess Toadstool in it


11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words “hell,” “killer,” “death,” or ”-inator”
12. Yell “pwnt” in a public virtual space
13. Play a female character in an MMOG in order to troll for “Crying Game” victims
14. Disconnect when losing at Starcraft or any other RTS
15. Ninja loot
16. Get your gaming news from a print publication
17. Replace the letter S with a dollar sign when writing Microsoft, Sony, or PlayStation
18. Live in your parents’ basement to support a gaming habit
19. Break mice in a fit of rage after being served in an FPS game
20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum
21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap
22. Carry softcore anime porn on your PSP to show the guys at work
23. Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects
24. Play competitively against anyone under the age of 10
25. Read or write fanfiction
26. Yell or type, “Laggg” when losing an online game
27. Bogart the controller
28. Work at GameStop “just for the discount”
29. Type liek JeffK

posted by Harry Callahan at 11:00 AM
Comments



I'm grateful that I understood very little of that.

I must be doing something right.

Posted by: The Warden on November 11, 2005 11:19 AM

Oh yeah, well....

http://picard.ytmnd.com/

Picard would so pwn Chuck Norris and you all know it!

Posted by: isayalotofthings on November 11, 2005 11:38 AM

Challenging Ace for the geek of the year award, Harry?

Posted by: JFH on November 11, 2005 11:40 AM

I'm sorry, but teamkilling is always funny.

Posted by: The Apologist on November 11, 2005 11:42 AM

Don't do the game thingy... WFT is "teamkilling"?

Posted by: Madfish Willie on November 11, 2005 12:20 PM

OK, I admit that I played Knights of the Old Republic and fell in love with Balista. So much so I had her play most of the game in her underwear.

http://www.mobygames.com/images/shots/original/1073488223-00.jpg

Do you realize how hard it was to play that game one-handed?

God I'm pathetic.

Posted by: TomB on November 11, 2005 12:23 PM

"... Over 30".

I'm over 60, are all those back in play now?

Posted by: Retired Geezer on November 11, 2005 12:37 PM

Nevermind... I'm a dumbass.....

Posted by: Madfish Willie on November 11, 2005 12:38 PM

I'm with the Warden. What do #6, #9, and #15 mean, anyway?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste on November 11, 2005 12:40 PM

I am taking offense to # 11.

Posted by: [DeathBy]Monkey on November 11, 2005 12:44 PM

Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects.

C'mon, that's cool, right?

Posted by: slickdpdx on November 11, 2005 12:49 PM

Check out the Urban Dictionary for "teabag." It has to do with nuts.

Posted by: rd on November 11, 2005 12:51 PM

I do/have done 6 of the items on this list.

I will not reveal which 6, though. I have my dignity.

(Although, laughing myself silly over teamkilling is definitely one of them. No way that one's out of bounds.)

Posted by: Phinn on November 11, 2005 01:24 PM

Hurray! A Friday geek thread. Confessions:

-am way past 30
-gamer
-like to post about the good ole days (aka PONG)
-guilty of too many of these to cite each

On the plus side. Did a twelve step program and have been "clean" for 6 months. Now tell me more about this Knights of the Old Republic, doh.

Posted by: doc on November 11, 2005 01:24 PM

So where does scream-typing "stfu noOb" fall in?

Or "wtf camping!"

Posted by: Christopher Cross on November 11, 2005 01:38 PM

I only have this to add: Leeeee-roy illustrates a good way to get your team and yourself killed while acting like a total choad. Pretty funny if you're a gamer. Which I'm not. But it was still funny.

Posted by: Monty on November 11, 2005 01:50 PM

Leeeee-roy illustrates a good way to get your team and yourself killed while acting like a total choad.

OMFG!!!!one!!! "At least I have chicken."

Posted by: S. Weasel on November 11, 2005 02:26 PM

S. Weasel:

They should have called that Leroy clip The Perils of Gaming While High.

Posted by: Monty on November 11, 2005 02:50 PM

I am pretty damn geeky, yes. I'm surprised I've restrained myself from gushing about the impending release of the XBOX 360... That day will come.

Posted by: Harry Callahan on November 11, 2005 03:02 PM

So, 29 No-Nos for Gamers Over 30? Well here's a 30th:

30. Don't be a gamer over 30.

Posted by: sandy burger on November 11, 2005 03:36 PM

OK Sandy Burger, admit that YOU are a gamer over 30!!

Btw, I'm collecting mini card games for my site. Anybody have any good links?

http://www.cardtoss.com

Posted by: Liza on November 11, 2005 04:20 PM

OK Sandy Burger, admit that YOU are a gamer over 30!!

No. But I am a lamer over 30.

Posted by: sandy burger on November 11, 2005 04:33 PM

Maryland wants to make "upskirting" illegal. What's the world come to?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste on November 11, 2005 05:02 PM

I must disagree with #9. It just shouldn't be overused. We all know there absolutely are situations where a teabagging is in order and I will continue to issue them as required.

Carry On.

Posted by: Silk on November 11, 2005 09:55 PM

I have won an argument in a game forum. It involved crafting a post just right that hit nearly everyone's funnybone hard, while making teh lam3 n00b look like a complete idiot, causing him to slink off, never to return.

Hero for a day. Heh.

Small victories. I'll take 'em where I can.

Posted by: Desert Cat on November 11, 2005 11:36 PM

...lol...the only two I admit to doing on a regular basis is the teabag and 'pwnt.' But I usually reserve 'pwnt' with the following tea bag for the n00b campers who don't appreciate the finer aspects of strategy.

I like to mix it with a gun salute and a good smack. ;)

Posted by: mooseman on November 12, 2005 06:03 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
BIG NEWS UPDATE NOT FIRED

From her lawyer

"The irresponsible reports that have been published stating that Maria Bartiromo was fired or is no longer an employee of Fox are absolutely and unequivocally false," Freedman said Friday. "Make no mistake, we have the receipts and witnesses and they will come out whether through the courthouse or otherwise."

He added: "Those reporting her firing or the incredulous facts supporting that fiction have exhibited a complete and utter reckless disregard for the truth."

from anon2020
So what, she quit?
Megyn Kelly (accursed be her name) used to say all the time that Fox has a top female PR person who is a nasty pitbull and leaks nasty claims about anyone Fox is at war with, including those who have left the network. So I guess maybe she technically resigned? I don't know.
NEW: @FoxNews has obtained Lindsay Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington's appeal filing to the MA Supreme Court, which includes Reddington accusing the lone holdout juror of being "biased" against those with "debilitating mental illness", which he says is a protected category.

Thanks to Mark1971
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too.
I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes:
"This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!"
"We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment"
Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling.
Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton?
I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more!
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection.
This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show.
She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.
Recent Comments
JTB: "221 ... "Thanks for the mention of Malcolm Guite a ..."

Just Some Guy: "Well, it's coming up on time to create new disaste ..."

Anonosaurus Wrecks, Putting the Genie Back In the Bible [/s] [/i] [/u] [/b]: "Holiday question. https://tinyurl.com/48y5nftp ..."

Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons: "And, Africa is a crap hole no matter how it looks ..."

publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb): " That "fair map" is just cartographic DEI. This ..."

Skip: "Getting away f t om thread Sure, go have a mental ..."

Just Some Guy: "And re falling away from sf -- In an interview ..."

OrangeEnt: "Anyway, gotta go. Thanks for the thread, Perfessor ..."

OrangeEnt: "The thread started twenty minutes early, is it end ..."

OrangeEnt: "Gah. I'm hearing rumblings of "let's go," again... ..."

OrangeEnt: "Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Putting the Genie B ..."

one hour sober: ">>Has the NCAA got a cover story yet for why that ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives