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« The Sixties: The Only Decade You’ll Ever Need | Main | Ninth Circuit Tosses Out Convictions For Making False Charges Against The Police »
November 07, 2005

Chemical Attack By Americans Kills Two Iraqi Freedom Fighters

Preliminary reports say the chemicals in question were HDX, capable of bursting in a highly pressurized cloud sometimes called an "explosion" in military jargon.

One of the guys killed was Abu Hamza, but, alas, not this Abu Hamza:

For three seconds I got the first erection I've had since 1989. Damn, I felt like a God.


posted by Ace at 04:08 PM
Comments



So, when your little guy stands up, it gets saluted by a one armed terrorist?

Posted by: on November 7, 2005 04:15 PM

TWO Abu Hamzas?

Ohmigod, they've perfected cloning!

Posted by: cirby on November 7, 2005 04:19 PM

Holy crap! Is that Aqua Man?

Posted by: Brass on November 7, 2005 04:30 PM

It's Atrios.

Posted by: Yes, it is on November 7, 2005 05:14 PM

If pop culture has taught me nothing else--and it hasn't--it's that you can identify geopolitical bad guys by their resemblance to evil henchmen from the stupider Roger Moore-vintage Bond movies. Why the left can't understand this simple principle, I'll never know.

Posted by: utron on November 7, 2005 06:18 PM

utron, what does that say about Cheney?

uh-oh ...

Posted by: Knemon on November 7, 2005 06:24 PM

utron, what does that say about Cheney?

It depends. Imagine him with a 3 foot high clone of himself. Would he rap to Will Smith?

If so, I've got a theory I'm working on, about a 60s spy spoof movies.

Posted by: Dogstar on November 7, 2005 06:47 PM

Well, Knemon, you'll notice that Cheney lacks the telltale signs: the Mao suit, the cigarette holder. Also, I've never seen Cheney stroking his pussy, and I hope to god I never do.

Anyway, Cheney would be a supervillain. I'm talking henchmen: guys with hooks, or eyepatches, or steel teeth. Stuff like that.

Posted by: utron on November 7, 2005 06:48 PM

Oh. Henchmen vs. supergenius villains. Got it.

Posted by: Knemon on November 7, 2005 06:58 PM

Just to be clear, I think guys with hook-hands should be called "Enforcers."

"Henchmen" to me are the minor evil characters who do little things for the archvillain, like helping him smuggle in nuclear bombs.

Oddjob-- Enforcer

Various Chinese Scientists -- henchmen

Posted by: ace on November 7, 2005 07:00 PM

What about the anonymous, interchangeable legions of dudes with horrible aim?

Fodder?

Posted by: Knemon on November 7, 2005 07:07 PM

yeah, fodder, minions.

Stormtroopers... cool name, cool outfits, but they have guns that can't hit anything and armor that never ONCE deflected a shot fired at them.

Although I'm told it's pretty effective against clubs and sharpened sticks.

Posted by: ace on November 7, 2005 07:09 PM

You can also divide them up by script allocation:

Fodder=1 scene, in 1 setting.
Henchmen=multiple scenes, 1 setting.
Enforcers=multiple scenes, multiple settings.

Posted by: utron on November 7, 2005 07:11 PM

Where do the goon squads from the Adam West "Batman" series fit into this?

The ones with the black T-shirts and their nicknames printed in white?

Posted by: Knemon on November 7, 2005 07:31 PM

How can that be AQUAMAN he is clean shaven wears a neat swim outfit and he dont have a hook it must be CAPT HOOKER

Posted by: spurwing plover on November 7, 2005 08:30 PM

Uh, Ace, loose shit. If you remember, fucking Ewoks were kicking Stormtrooper ass, with clubs and spears.

I understand you're a Star Trek man yourself, as am I, but c'mon!

Posted by: Lapsed Leftist on November 7, 2005 08:41 PM

Forgot to add, sorry spurwing plover, they've updated Aquaman to make him all bad-ass and everything.

Posted by: Lapsed Leftist on November 7, 2005 08:47 PM

Re: the pic of Abu,
Abu may soon be in need of eye patch if he's not careful.

Posted by: Bart on November 8, 2005 01:19 AM

Abu might also want to pray to Allah that he never gets crabs.

Posted by: Mike on November 8, 2005 05:26 PM
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This isn't Christmas Eve fare, and I thought about waiting until the 26th to post it, but supposedly an amateur detective has solved the Zodiac killer mystery. And the horrific Black Dahlia killing. He says it's the same person! I always thought of them as very far apart in time but I think Black Dahlia was mid-fifties (nope, 1947) mid and the Zodiac murders began in 1968 so it's possible it's the same killer.

The killer, if it's the same man, would have been in his 20s when he killed the Black Dahlia and his 40s when he did the Zodiac murders. Possible.

A little caveat: I saw someone snark on Reddit, "The Zodiac case gets solved more often than Wordle." There are a ton of coincidences here, supposedly, like a Zodiac cipher being solved by the name "Elizabeth." Elizabeth Short was the name of the so-called Black Dahlia.

If you don't know about the Black Dahlia, don't look it up. Just accept that it's grisly on the level of Jack the Ripper.

Yes, the named suspect resembles the police sketch of Zodiac.

Here's a podcast with the amateur sleuth who claims he cracked the Zodiac.
Daily Mail article.
Link to get around the LA Times' paywall for their article.
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It's not just a "death sentence," as he says, but a rapidly coming one. I hope he can put his affairs in order and make sure his family is in a good as a position as they can be.
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason.
Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident
It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
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As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller."
She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
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More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2:
Remember the bamboo from Part 1?

Do I ever! It's all I remember!
Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy.

We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations.
I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said.

A few blocks uptown, at a branch of the local independent chain McNally Jackson Books, a few volumes lay on a table of new and noteworthy nonfiction near the front of the store. No one was lining up to get them, or even browsing. Bookseller Alex Howe told CNN around 3 p.m. that though the store had procured "several dozen" copies, not a single one had yet sold -- a figure he said was surprising, considering how many people in media and publishing work in the area.

"We ordered a lot and so far, people have not been beating down the door," Howe said. "I'm not sure where we're gonna put them because right now, supply is outpacing demand." (A manager at McNally Jackson noted that Howe was speaking only in a personal capacity, not as a representative of the store.)

She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
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