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October 31, 2005

Entry 9,526 in the 'Are You Shitting Me?' File

A spokesman for the city's judiciary, who asked not be named, explained the drive would tackle problems of "public chastity." He said 65 mannequins have been impounded so far.
He explained the crack-down on tailors' dummies was part of a larger offensive against anti-social behavior such as vandalism and biker gangs.

Frankly I'm surprised it has taken this long.
Wood and plaster need to be reined in, people.
The way they...look at you. With their faces painted like hooors.
Something had to be done.

posted by LauraW. at 08:22 PM

Comments

Damn. Just how "alluring" are these mannequins? They must have working parts! There must be a pretty sad state of affairs (no pun intended) in Iran if looking at dummies turns people on.

Sheesh.

Posted by: Maranna on October 31, 2005 08:28 PM

Oh, and FIRST!

Posted by: Maranna on October 31, 2005 08:29 PM

Well, let's not kid ourselves about mannequins.

They are pure evil.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on October 31, 2005 08:48 PM

(parody) Allahu akbar! This is a great victory in the Islamic front against Imperialist Zionist Freemason Mannequins, seducing virile Muslim men with their plasticity resembling femininity, distracting them from assembling bombs with which to blow themselves up in the other fronts! Now there will be fewer biker gangs and vandals, too, thanks to the removal of the evil Mind Control Rays installed by the Fascist Zionist Imperialist Freemason agents! (/parody)

Well, the Basiji need something to do.

Iran is so . . . amusing.

Posted by: Muslihoon on October 31, 2005 08:48 PM

Iran has biker gangs?

Posted by: Bart on October 31, 2005 08:54 PM

In other news...Iran has biker gangs.

Apparently.

Posted by: Monty on October 31, 2005 08:54 PM

I plan on some R&R in Iran soon. Will the new mannequin law cause me problems when travelling with my carry on items? I am speaking specifically of my inflatable sheep with crotchless burka? I want to go through the customs express line upon arrival in Tehran. Please Ace, do not let other infidels read this post. Thank you and Allah Akbar!!!

Posted by: Jihadgene on October 31, 2005 08:55 PM

Bart, we're like Mike and Ike. We think alike!

Posted by: Monty on October 31, 2005 08:55 PM

I can't imagine Iranian bikers. Do they even have bars at where they hang out and be general nuissances to the public?

Monty, have you thought of this: What's a biker gang without biker chicks? There ain't no way that there Iranians chicks riding on the back of motorcycles flashing their tits.

Posted by: Bart on October 31, 2005 09:09 PM

Fortunately I posted a photo of Iranian biker gangs back in August:
http://blogidaho.blogspot.com/2005/08/bikers-arab-vs-american.html

Posted by: Retired Geezer on October 31, 2005 09:13 PM

'Burka' gangs. (translation error)

Posted by: on October 31, 2005 09:18 PM

Geezer.
Oh my.
That comment on your site is something else.

Posted by: lauraw on October 31, 2005 09:23 PM

Burka gangs!
Very good.

Yep, Geezer, that's about how I'd picture an Arab biker.

Posted by: Bart on October 31, 2005 09:29 PM

Strangely enough all the mannequins I saw in Kuwait and most of the ones I saw in Bahrain all prominent nipples.

Like pencil erasers. On a cold cold day. In Minnesota. In January.

Posted by: Kevin on October 31, 2005 09:31 PM

Wow. We made it this long without a single reference to Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.

Impressive.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 31, 2005 09:59 PM

Well I learned to inportant things from this story.

Iran has "Biker Gangs".
And "Tailors' Dummies" are the root cause of said biker gangs.

Man if only we would have known that back in the 60's. We could have saved a lot young rebels from the syren call of the women's department at Sears.

Anty

Posted by: Anty on October 31, 2005 10:11 PM

Sounds like the Iranians have seen one Doctor Who episode too many.

Fellas - the Autons are just fiction!

(at least, that's what we evil, imperialistic war mongers WANT them to think:)

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on October 31, 2005 10:15 PM

Lookin' in your eyes I see a paradise
This world that I've found is too good to be true
Standin' here beside you, want so much to give you
This love in my heart that I'm feelin' for you

Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that
Put your hand in my hand, baby, don't ever look back
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now, whoa no

I'm so glad I found you, I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes, I will stay here with you
Take you to the good times, see you through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do

Let 'em say we're crazy, what do they know
Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart

All that I need is you
All that I ever need
And all that I want to do
Is hold you forever, forever and ever, Hey

Build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us now

Posted by: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on October 31, 2005 10:15 PM

It's just a test. Every once in a while, every blue moon. Reuters lets slip out a true story, a clear snapshot of the insanity behind the Islamic curtain.

Ya know .... let's see if anyone is really paying attention to our stupid sh*t? Reading it even. We'll fook with 'em, and they won't even know it, by slipping in a true one.

Next one should be in ..... oh 2182 a.d. I think.

Posted by: Elmo on October 31, 2005 10:21 PM

Mahmoud:

I'm gonna have to punch you in the throat for that. Nothing personal.

Posted by: Monty on October 31, 2005 10:40 PM

Monty - heh.

I posted that.

Blame Dave at GR for bringing up "Mannequin."

Posted by: Slublog on October 31, 2005 10:44 PM

...the neck-punch stands.

Sorry, Slublog, but I let shit like that slide and Western Civilzation falls. (Jefferson Starship. Pfft. I'll drive that goddam starship right up Grace Slick's drug-addled ass.)

Posted by: Monty on October 31, 2005 10:49 PM

Perfectly understandable.

I await the punishment.

Posted by: Slublog on October 31, 2005 11:16 PM

Well, it's about damn time!

Posted by: Nickie Goomba on November 1, 2005 11:00 AM

While the anti-mannequin sentiment is understandable, let's not forget other stuff that Iran is cracking down on (courtesy LGF).

Posted by: apotheosis on November 1, 2005 11:05 AM

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This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?

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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
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I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

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Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]