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Top Headlines

Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.

Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.

Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain

Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more!

TJM watched a stupid stoner comedy and laughed.

ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents.
Erika Kirk was present.

Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry
when you said good-bye
70s, not 50s
Now that is a motherflipping intro

Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it!

TJM explores the films of Peter Weir, director of Master and Commander

TJM discusses the different adaptations of Dune

NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]

TJM discusses Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Portlandia: Would you like to double down on your meal?

Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him

Tucker Carlson Network
@TCNetwork

The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus.

Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity.

Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this.
He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again.
You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.

Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk Orban losing, but is it the end of Hungary? The Irish start a brawl, but is it enough, Pope Leo wades into politics, Trump calls Iran's bluff and blockades Hormuz, Artemis II! Swallwell is scum, and more!

People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Alfred Hitchcock

@KFILE 21m

Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups."

So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations.
That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera
Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite
thanks to weft-cut loop.

This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.

Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.

Recent Comments

Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, : "BOING! ..."

Skip : "TGIF ..."

Skip : "G'day everyone ..."

m: "w00t ..."

m: "Pixy's up! ..."

Richard Cranium: ""For right now, the total blockade is the least ex ..."

JQ: "Guess I need to just go to bed & read a while. Mak ..."

SciVo: "Something very common is when someone knows the "c ..."

Skip: "Coffee is up ..."

JQ: "And I'm hungry, but don't dare eat. The threat of ..."

JQ: "Yes, Blondie... Can't sleep, then can't wake up... ..."

Blonde Morticia: " Hey, JQ! You can't sleep either? ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Daily Tech News 1 May 2026 Thursday Overnight Open Thread - April 30, 2026 [Doof] Herdsday Cafe Louisiana Suspends House Primary Campaign Schedule Until They've Had a Chance to Redraw Congressional Maps Hapless Woke Karen Drops Out of Maine Senate Race, Clearing Field for National Socialist (and Avowed Communist) Graham "Totenkopf" Platner US to Deploy Brand New Hypersonic Missile, The "Dark Eagle," to Iran Judicial Watch Lawsuit Compels Oregon, Against Its Will, to Remove 800,000 Ineligible Voters from Its Voter Rolls -- Nearly One Quarter of All Eligible Voters In the State Covert Socialist Kathy Hochul to Overt Socialist Zohran Mamdani: You Don't Have a Tax Revenue Problem, You Have a Spending Problem. Economy Grows By Decent 2% Annualized Rate Despite Fuel Price Inflation; New Jobless Claims Fall to Near Record Lows A Muslim Immigrant Goes on Stabbing Spree in Jewish Neighborhood in the UK Absent Friends Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups NoVaMoMe 2026: 06/20/2026 Arlington VA Contact Bluebell/Weasel for info Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Stupid Media Tricks \| Main \| "Cabal" Hijacked The Foreign Policy of the US, Consisting Of The President, Vice President, Sec. Def., and National Security Advisor » October 26, 2005 Funny Headline Overload There are just too many stupid double-entendres to choose from. It's about tools designed specifically for women do-it-yourselfers: The founders of these companies say their aim is more than just getting hammers into the hands of women. They believe a woman who is capable of fixing her own toilet also is going to feel capable and independent in other areas of her life. It's a philosophy that is sure to sell a few dozen screwdrivers. But it also shows a level of business savvy, given they've launched in sync with several major trends. Among them: soaring interest in do-it-yourself and home improvement projects, and increasing ranks of single, female homeowners. I like that women can get tools that are more ergonomic. Using a tool that is made for people with hands twice the size of yours makes a task more difficult. On the other hand, its more of a turn-on to have a man do these things for you. I really, really wanted to do some stupid word-play here. Skinbad sent me this tip. Like Scott, Skinbad's tips tend to have some kind of a sexual angle. With the result that it looks like all I want to post about is gutter stuff. Which is true. But, gotta cool it for a while. Don't want to be the second coming of Wankette. "A girl has to protect her reputation." That's a little jewel I picked up from Bob Dole's Cock. Its not like I have to provide a lot of encouragement to you retards anyway. I know most of you drooling chimps started guffawing into your monitors the second you read "...hammers into the hands of women..." I know it, and it endears you to me. posted by LauraW. at 01:50 PM Comments well, I am no drooling chimp, but I no more want to be able to fix my own toilet than I want to clean it. I feel quite capable and independent despite that, thank you very much. Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on October 26, 2005 02:58 PM Well, I am a drooling chimp, but a happy drooling chimp. I am endearded by someone... Posted by: Silk on October 26, 2005 03:00 PM So Laura, do you like to. . . do it yourself? Cheers, Dave at Garfield Ridge Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 26, 2005 04:01 PM lw, you're one funny broad. And I actually prefer a woman who is good with a tool. Posted by: compos mentis on October 26, 2005 04:01 PM Skinbad's tips tend to have some kind of a sexual angle I'm sorry. I'm laughing at that one too. Posted by: skinbad on October 26, 2005 05:20 PM I know most of you drooling chimps started guffawing into your monitors the second you read "...hammers into the hands of women..." Now please get out of my head. Posted by: skinbad on October 26, 2005 05:24 PM "Tools that look good, fit well and feel good and come with instructions on how to get all kinds of simple jobs done." Oh, boy. I mean, oy vey. Instructions for simple jobs? Key word here: simple. Ladies, if you need instructions.... ...do what I'd do... ...leave it to the pros. Posted by: Bart on October 26, 2005 06:01 PM Now there are those who may be favorable to the GI-Jane- tool-belt gals who can fix a broken toilet with nothing more than a swiss army knife. For myself, I would settle for one who could manage to lower the seat without invoking the War Powers Act. Posted by: robert on October 26, 2005 06:33 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan" As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it. Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports. Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more! TJM watched a stupid stoner comedy and laughed. ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present. Forgotten 70s Mystery Click You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it! TJM explores the films of Peter Weir, director of Master and Commander TJM discusses the different adaptations of Dune NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium "The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD] TJM discusses Close Encounters of the Third Kind Portlandia: Would you like to double down on your meal? Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him Tucker Carlson Network @TCNetwork The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus. Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity. Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card. Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk Orban losing, but is it the end of Hungary? The Irish start a brawl, but is it enough, Pope Leo wades into politics, Trump calls Iran's bluff and blockades Hormuz, Artemis II! Swallwell is scum, and more! People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him. TJM definitively ranks the films of Alfred Hitchcock @KFILE 21m Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups." So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop. This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you. Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one. Recent Comments Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, : "BOING! ..." Skip : "TGIF ..." Skip : "G'day everyone ..." m: "w00t ..." m: "Pixy's up! ..." Richard Cranium: ""For right now, the total blockade is the least ex ..." JQ: "Guess I need to just go to bed & read a while. Mak ..." SciVo: "Something very common is when someone knows the "c ..." Skip: "Coffee is up ..." JQ: "And I'm hungry, but don't dare eat. The threat of ..." JQ: "Yes, Blondie... Can't sleep, then can't wake up... ..." Blonde Morticia: " Hey, JQ! You can't sleep either? ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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Funny Headline Overload