I dunno Ace. . . there could be performance anxiety and all. We wouldn't want OBL to clam up or anything.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

http://www.richard.clark32.btinternet.co.uk/echair2.jpg

Looks like a perfect fit to me. The comfort he deserves with the simplicity and usefullness good sense and decency demand.

Yes, love, a nice chair. Silk rope bindings.

A little soft brazilian jazz...low lighting...a glass of warm goat milk...a very teensy weensy syringe...aaaahhhh

Not to criticize Bullwinkle, but I find this chair a much more satisfying option for Mr. Bin Laden.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Oh, I forgot all of that happens after we beat the ever loving shit out of him, drag him across razor wire and then dip him in rubbing alcohol, shove an armadillo up his ass the wrong way, and let an American Mountain Lion play with him for a while.

I mean, let's remember who the dude is and what he did.

Dave, you forgot that you can put the chair I picked on "low" and leave him there for a long time. twenty years or so should do it. I can draw the wiring diagram for 3 settings; Low, Regular, and Extra Crispy. I'll even modify it for free.

Wow. There really is a "comfy chair."

I can't even find it in me to laugh at this. Pure fucking insanity.

Oh my gosh, Ace, I thought you were joking about the chair and special tape! "Ha ha, there's Ace putting his own funny spin on it"--then I read the piece.

Uh, LauraW, you know of a *right* way to shove an armadillo up an ass?

Please, do share with the class.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

This story is all over the blogosphere. It has to be a joke. If it isn't, these lawyers should be sitting in front of a senate hearing explaining why they wasted taxpayer money on this insanity.

Uh, LauraW, you know of a *right* way to shove an armadillo up an ass?

The traditional "armadillo ass shoving protocol" is head first - they got some nasty teeth you don't want to be dealing with on your end. Once in a bit, the armor plates act like barbs to prevent accidental slipping out.

Of course, there are some radical new methods involving sphincter retractors, 4" PVC pipe, and hydraulic rams...

It's not a big suprise the Pentagon's bureaucrats think this way. In fact, Warren Christopher (Clinton's SecState) was a State big shot under Carter. He unironically asked Charlie Beckwith, the Delta Force commander leading them into Iran to rescue the hostages in '81, if Beckwith's men could shoot the terrorists in the shoulder while extracting the hostages. Beckwith was a pretty colorful guy, so I won't speculate what his response was. So we know DC is crawling with pussies. I would hope whatever ground commander got these memos immediately told these lawyers to get fucked. But then I served in the Clinton-era military too, so I'm probably wrong.

Uh, LauraW, you know of a *right* way to shove an armadillo up an ass?
Dang it Dave, you beat me to it. Now I'll have to come up with some other witicism.

Uh, LauraW, you know of a *right* way to shove an armadillo up an ass?

Well sideways, of course.

I know a nice handj*b always relaxes me in a stressful situation.

Is that a hint, ace? Is it on your wish list? :)

I know a nice handj*b always relaxes me in a stressful situation.

Umm, how about we just buy some T-shirts

We could stuff about 100 AOS t-shirts into every orifice OBL has.

Tony, thanks for the gay expertise in your 9:44M post!

The straights here would have forgotten all about the scale factor. Though the scales also appear to complicate insertion in gay rectal sex practices using animals in "edge play".

What ever became of Raggot, the hapless gerbil? When did it come to pass that gerbils weren't "enough" for a "man"?

**************

So why are ACLU lawyers devoted to terrorist comfort the way they are? Is it just from growing up smart and unathletic in NYC?

And why would they have a cow if we just tied an anchor around OBL's neck and dumped him alive in 100feet deep Indian Ocean waters -- but are lining up begging for the right to defend a Power Ranger Pretty Boy that did just that to a nice couple interested in selling their boat?

I wouldn't exactly say its "gay expertise" Cederford. I think this says more about your thought processes than mine.

Does OBL get you hot?

"While you're at it, how about a mid-interrogation handj*b for Mr. bin Ladin?"

Oddly, from what I've read about him, it just might work - he'd probably be totally freaked out by that. This is a guy who once went into a combination panic/rage freakout because his sister-in-law answered the door, exposing her uncovered nose to him.

Re correct armadillo insertion protocol:
Two words, folks: Arma-Glide.

Like Lipstick, I thought the beard tape and comfy chair were Ace's jokey-jokey man additions to the story. Gack.

Its turning out that most aspects of the Clinton administration handling of terrorists is Gack-worthy™

"The straights here would have forgotten all about the scale factor. "

But you didn't forget. So that means . . .

OMG!

I've been your biggest fan, Cedarford. Couldn't you have told me before now? I feel so cheap.