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August 12, 2005
BREAKING NEWS: Michelle Malkin's Given Last Name Is "Maglalang"See Correction At End. Not sure why she goes by "Malkin," but I imagine it's just as lots of immigrants with strange-sounding (to the America-born) names do: they change their names a bit to be more comprehensible to English speakers. More breaking news: Ralph Loren's real given last name is "Lipshitz." And I've got more breaking news: if a first generation immigrant tells you his or her name is "Lisa" or "Patty" or "Don," there is a very good chance that's not their real first name at all, but rather an English-name analogue of their actual first name. Those liars. If a Chinese girl whose given name is Wu tells me her name is Wendy, she's trying to "pass" as a normal American, and that just sticks in my craw. I want to know who these dirty, filthy foreign-born types are; I'm sick of this infiltration. I say this is breaking news because the left, especially the very tolerant Oliver Willis, thinks it's being very clever and cutting by calling her "Michelle Maglanang." Apparently the discovery that she's of Filipino descent is very important. I mean, she's always trying to hide that when she appears on TV. She never mentions, for example, that she herself is an immigrant or the daughter of immigrants. And she's always trying to hide those Filipino features by wearing a hockey mask like Jason in Friday the 13th. She further hides the fact that her given last name is "Maglalang" by craftily copyrighting her books as "Michelle Maglalang." Yup, it's right there on the first page, the last place anyone would ever think of looking. I'd like Oliver Willis to explain what importance he thinks this fact possesses, and why this tolerant person of the left is constantly harping on her ethnic descent. Would he think it was all right if I referred to him as "the black Oliver Willis," or "Oliver Willis, who by the way is (wink, wink) not caucasoid in the least"? And it's not just Willis; the entire left cannot help but continue "scoring points" by charging Michelle Malkin, nee Maglalang, with being Filipino. Filipino in the First Degree. They preach tolerance, we practice it. And it drives them batshit crazy. Whoops! Update: There's an even more insidious reason for the change of name than at first I thought. I suspected she called herself "Malkin" because it was a comprehensible English analogue to "Maglalang," but I'm afraid the truth is even more awful. Michelle got her last name from her husband, if you can imagine such a thing. She actually married a normal American man just to get that sneaky-stealthy "passing" last name. How low, and how desperate, is that? I'd just like to note, however, that if things don't work out with this "Malkin" feller, I've got a "passing" English last name, too. Just sayin'.
posted by Ace at 02:57 PM
CommentsAs someone noted yesterday, I think it was you, for some reason her foes love to go after her ethnicity, her gender, and her stature. Cheap shots from cheap people. I do like it that she pisses them off so much. Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 12, 2005 03:02 PM
Don't make me do an immitation of Dave at Garfield Ridge on ya, Ace. "Tagalog, it's not just for Filipinos any more." Posted by: JFH on August 12, 2005 03:05 PM
How's the coverage of "Able Danger" going on over at Oliver's place? Posted by: Hoodlumman on August 12, 2005 03:05 PM
She's addressed this before on her blog. She goes by 'Malkin' because it is her husband's last name. Posted by: The Virginia Wolf on August 12, 2005 03:11 PM
With regard to the change in her last name, I'm not sure why she changed it either, although, coincidentally, her husband's last name happens to be "Malkin". Posted by: JFH on August 12, 2005 03:12 PM
Dang, VA ruins a perfectly snarky post! (Not that I'm afraid of her) Posted by: JFH on August 12, 2005 03:13 PM
Michelle Malkin is Filipino? Next, you'll be trying to convince me that Martin Sheen is Hispanic or something. Posted by: Jason on August 12, 2005 03:16 PM
Or that Ace's last name isn't really "Of Spades". Oh. Wait.... Posted by: Scot on August 12, 2005 03:17 PM
So, maybe they're not being racists after all. They're merely denigrating her marriage. (I noticed the post Oliver Willis linked to referred to her as Ms. rather than Mrs.) Posted by: on August 12, 2005 03:19 PM
May not be the best example ace, when I worked in Taiwan, one of the surprising things I found about Chinese is that they frequently take on a western first name, particularly if they work with westerners. They just pick something they like, and that's what they go by. Dave. Joe. Terri. Linda. Amber. Fred. Usually on their name cards too (business cards). Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 12, 2005 03:22 PM
Yes, that's common. I put that in as an edit. of course, all that was for naught, as it turns out "Malkin" is just her married name. It is sort of like "Maglalang," though. Posted by: ace on August 12, 2005 03:27 PM
Dave in Texas: Liu Xian = Lucien I've seen that a lot with Chinese immigrants. Some, though, adopt some pretty hilarious Western monikers: I met one guy who called himself "Bingley". I always told him he should wear a monocle and top hat to make the name fit. And it just never ceases to amaze how the tolerant, multi-cultural, and trans-gendered Left can slam on Michelle for being a Filipino woman of small stature. It's like they're bigots or something. Posted by: Monty on August 12, 2005 03:28 PM
sort of like "Maglalang" though. good point Monty, There were some knee slappers too - I worked with a young guy who named himself "Dragon", another kid names "Moon". "Ozzy" Tseng was one of the best systems analysts I've ever worked with - great guy. Two ladies we bought office furniture from were having a discussion about what one of their boyfriends should choose for a name... and asked me what I thought. I asked "what does he like to do"? and she said "he likes exercise and lifting weights". I suggested "Ahhhnuld" Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 12, 2005 03:38 PM
Ever noticed that a lot of Filipinos are sharp dressers? What do they think they're doing, making our native-born hippies looks so slovenly!
BUM DONG I mean, who does he think he is, a Hemingway character? Posted by: Whitehall on August 12, 2005 03:38 PM
Whenever I'm travelling in the Orient, I tell people my name is Akira Kurosawa. So far, no one's busted me on it, but I'm beginning to suspect that maybe they're just being polite. Posted by: Phinn on August 12, 2005 03:43 PM
I love filipino names, though -- they've got a rock-n-roll kind of quality that no other names have. "Balambang Magsaysay", for example. That name just rolls off the tongue like quicksilver: it could be the name of a prizefighter or a priest. In Neal Stephenson's novel Cryptonomicon, there is a scene set in the Philippines where the main characters are being driven around by a guy named Bong Bong Gad (who is driving a car named The Grace of God). Posted by: Monty on August 12, 2005 03:48 PM
I'd just like to note, however, that if things don't work out with this "Malkin" feller, I've got a "passing" English last name, too."Headquarters"? Posted by: someone on August 12, 2005 03:52 PM
I always wondered if Shamalama ding dong referred to a filipino sex toy. Posted by: Dman on August 12, 2005 04:01 PM
Monty: Honorable Mention, Indonesia bracket: Susilio Bambang Yudhoyono. Posted by: quiggs on August 12, 2005 04:36 PM
I wonder if Jabba the Willis has as much of an issue with Senator Rodham, who only took the name Clinton when polling showed that Arkansas voters didn't like her keeping her maiden name? In that vein, the Slickster's real name is William Blythe, not Clinton. And he's actually the man from Hot Springs, he wasn't born in Hope. Far more appropriate, since there are no towns named Sexual Misconduct or Perjury, Arkansas. Those liars! Posted by: Log Cabin on August 12, 2005 04:38 PM
Whatever happened to the unwritten rule that said sensible, non-retaded bloggers wouldn't link to Filet-O-Fish? Is that rule null and void if you run some kind of "moronblog"? Posted by: Sean M. on August 12, 2005 04:40 PM
O'Spades sounds more Irish to me. Like O'Fish. Posted by: M on August 12, 2005 04:44 PM
Somehow, Ace O'Fish HQ doesn't have the same 'bad-ass' quality as O'Spades. Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on August 12, 2005 04:49 PM
Goyim mispronounce "David" all the time, there's supposed to be an expectorating sound right after the D. Posted by: Dave Munger on August 12, 2005 04:50 PM
So the full name she fills out forms with is "Michelle Maglalang Malkin"? I love it! That would make a stonking good first line of a limerick! Posted by: S. Weasel on August 12, 2005 04:54 PM
I think Oliver - if that is his real name - Willis - if that is his real name
Sheka means "diarrhea' by the way. or, in the alternative, Ukhuluphele kakhulu Indodo 'Overweight Man' English - Zulu translation or, taking a cue from 'The Gods Must be Crazy' - O-dubs could add some clicks to his name O!-liver Willi!-is Just to keep it real - yo. Posted by: BumperStickerist on August 12, 2005 05:01 PM
Now, now, Bill Clinton really was born in Hope and he moved to Hot Springs when he was 4. Clinton was his stepfather, who raised him. The man has plenty faults without making up stuff. Now Hillary, that's another matter. She could have changed her name to Betty Sue Thelma Liz in Arkansas and we wouldn't have liked her one bit, the snotty Yankee biatch. The name thing was a rather minor deal. Her "takes a village" attitude was a much more compelling issue. Posted by: Auspex on August 12, 2005 05:24 PM
The name thing was a rather minor deal. And yet the hag did it, didn't she? Sorry about the Hope/Hot Springs thing. The hazards of getting info via heresay. My point stands: the Clintons = phony, fake, bogus! Posted by: Log Cabin on August 12, 2005 05:34 PM
How on earth can you have a discussion involving Asian names, without mentioning Lee Bum Suk? Posted by: jic on August 12, 2005 05:54 PM
Oh, the rest of the US is just catching up to what Madame Rodham is like. Arkansans knew her from the get-go. Why do you think she ran for Senate in New York; the good folks of my home state would have laughed her off the ballot. We might put up with a scoundrel like her husband, or even a Yankee like Winthrop Rockefeller (two governors before Bill), but by damn, not a haughty know-it-all with no moral core and a surplus of ambition. Posted by: Auspex on August 12, 2005 05:58 PM
I just found out something I never knew: "Bum Suk" is Korean for "huge and hard" (scroll down to the notes at the bottom of the page). Posted by: jic on August 12, 2005 05:59 PM
I can't believe you didn't know her husband's name is Malkin. Posted by: on August 12, 2005 07:36 PM
I wouldn't care if her real name was Mao - her politics/sociological takes are generally spot-on, and that's what counts. That's also why moonbats are so racist and bigoted about the woman. Posted by: Carlos on August 12, 2005 08:24 PM
There are worse things than marriage for Michelle, I recall reading that she has children (kids who actually know their real father) ...dang how un-american is that... Can we have a poll? Posted by: Marvin on August 12, 2005 09:32 PM
former USAF Korean cryptologic translator here - The exact translation would depend on which Chinese roots those names are derived. The syllable by itself can have multiple meanings.
Posted by: BumperStickerist on August 12, 2005 11:30 PM
Be serious, there is absolutely no way a nasty fruitloopian like her could be married to a normal man. COME ON. She has dual citizenship, so I say ship her with her grossly anti-American hate filled preaching back to the Phillipines. Sure, warn them that a pro-terrorism cleric is coming, but better they suffer than a cancer like her is left to tear down what little the republicans haven't destroyed yet. Posted by: just pete on August 13, 2005 12:05 AM
Can we just get back to how fat OW is? Really, do it for the children. Cuz, the guy is like freakin' huge. Posted by: Russell Wardlow on August 13, 2005 12:08 AM
I've had the same experience getting simplied names while working in Asia (Hong Kong, Thailand, and most frequently, Korea). For example, a Korean lawyer named Kim Sang Il (Kim is the family name, but Koreans say it first) will introduce himself by using his initials -- he is SI Kim. A girl you meet in a club whose given name is Jee Youn will tell you she is Joan. They do this for a reason. They know that their names are almost impossible for most westerners to remember because they are unfamiliar, so if they reduce the name to an anglicized version or to initials you will be more likely to remember it. Then you can remember how to address them the next time you see them, and avoiding embarrassing yourself by stumbling around for their name. They are trying to help you avoid "losing face." It took me numerous trips to Asia to figure this out, because initially it seems odd that they don't use their real name with you. When I did figure it out, I used to make an effort to get their actual name and remember it. If you do this, you can score big points with Asians. It sounds silly, but they really appreciate an American who makes the effort to remember and use their real name. I've made some friends that way. Posted by: Michael on August 13, 2005 12:10 AM
And, BTW, don't worry too much about pronunciation of names. If you make any kind of effort to say it right, it will be appreciated. There's other stuff you can do. Buy one of those little local etiquette books you can get at the airport when you arrive and look it over. You'll get useful tips (for example, when you cross your legs never point the sole of your foot at a Thai). Sit cross-legged on the floor and enjoy the native cuisine, even if your thighs are killing you. Play their drinking games. Learn how to do the formal two-handed business card delivery (that makes a big impression, because they expect Americans to just flip a card to them in a very casual way). When it's your turn to get up and make a fool of yourself singing karaoke, do it. You will lose major face if you decline to make a fool of yourself. These businessmen you are with are judging your character, and personal relationships mean everything if you are going to do business in Asia. The really hard part is bowing. When someone bows to you, you're really not going to know how to correctly bow back. To do it right, the angle of the bow has to be exactly correct based on relative status. But they are very forgiving. My solution was to just duck my head and bend a little, and then smile and shake hands. Works every time. Posted by: Michael on August 13, 2005 12:40 AM
Here's some basic advice that works for travellers anywhere in the world. You've bought a phrase book that tell's you how to say basic things in the local language. Here are the one's that you need to memorize (in order of priority): 1. Where is the bathroom? 2. Thank you. 3. I don't speak [the native language]. 4. My name is [your name]. 5. Excuse me (for when you bump into someone or something). 6. How much? (Point at object you want.) 7. Check, please (in most countries, they will not bring a check until you ask for it. Another technique that works is to get your server's attention, and then pantomime writing on the palm of one hand with the other hand. This works everywhere.) 6. Two beers, please. (Assuming you are travelling with a companion.) 7. You are very beautiful. (Assuming you are not travelling with a companion.) Posted by: Michael on August 13, 2005 01:12 AM
Be serious, there is absolutely no way a nasty fruitloopian like her could be married to a normal man. COME ON. This from a guy who's only sex has been with his right hand. lol! Posted by: on August 13, 2005 05:01 AM
I'd just like to note, however, that if things don't work out with this "Malkin" feller, I've got a "passing" English last name, too. You do know her husband has been known to read and post on blogs, don't you? Posted by: on August 13, 2005 05:03 AM
Speaking of Filipinos, I hope ace is off seeing the Great Raid. I would like to hear a review of that instead of some graphic novel or tv show remake. Besides the POW aspect, I am interested in an accurate portrayal of the great sacrifices of the Filipino people. I have heard that the movie is being ignored by the political correct crowd. Which of course means it must be good. Posted by: on August 13, 2005 05:12 AM
Speaking of the Great Raid, I wonder how they will handle the Japanese brutality. Remember "Pearl Harbor" and the editing, as not to offend the present-day Japanese? It is a great story, though. The book is well written (Ghosts of Cabanatuan). Posted by: Dogstar on August 13, 2005 08:03 AM
Funny, I don't watch a lot of TV, and times I have had the pleasure of watching Ms Malkin, have been subjects that indeed included the fact that she is a daughter of immigrants and that she is proud of her background. Posted by: Noelie on August 13, 2005 12:19 PM
Meanwhile, in a parallel universe: Flash! Richard Fernandez, on The Belmont Club, apparently changed his name to Wretchard. Turns out he's Filipino and Wretchard is the name of some darn cat. Also, Seymour Martin Lipset's family name was really Lipschitz, like Ralph Lauren's. His dad apparently changed it because Lipschitz sounded funnier than Lipset, and he wasn't a commedian. My real last name, by the way, is Z'Beard. Keep it under... whatever. Posted by: Demosophist on August 13, 2005 10:43 PM
Z'Beard is perfectly fine - has a vaguely Dune-esque sci-fi cachet to it. Much better than what Zappa did to his kids - MoonUnit is DANGEROUSLY close to Moonbat... Posted by: on August 14, 2005 02:24 AM
"Goyim mispronounce "David" all the time, there's supposed to be an expectorating sound right after the D."
Posted by: on August 14, 2005 07:58 AM
I saw The Great Raid on Friday. It doesn't pull punches regarding the brutality of the Japanese. I think the heroism and sacrifice of the Filipinos are given their due as well. Posted by: Simon Oliver Lockwood on August 14, 2005 09:15 AM
Be careful playing their drinking games. You ever seen a guy wake up on the roof on a Quonset hut? Happened one Sunday morning after a BBQ and drunkfest at the Thai contingent's hooch at Yongsan. The Filipino contingent threw great parties too. Posted by: SGT Dan on August 14, 2005 09:52 AM
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Canada and the UK are neck and neck in the race to become the first western country to fall to Islam [CBD] [A]n asshole is somebody who looks at a painting of two toddlers doing something totally normal for toddlers and decides that it represents homosexuality and then thinks that publicly saying that is somehow edgy and clever. Instead it is doing what we accuse the Left of, that is sexualizing young children. If that describes you, own it.Muldoon
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Thanks to fd. Yeah, thanks a bunch, Chief.
Reports: The A-10 Thunderbolt, better known as The Warthog, has been unleashed on Iran
It's a heavily armored (the pilot sits in a titanim bathtub) slow-and-low loitering plane with a massive minigun firing depleted uranium rounds. The capability it brings is the ability to just fly big circles over the country waiting for a target to present itself. This is a weapons platform for eliminating vehicles and personnel. Its first task might be strafing the seas, clearing out any remaining attack boats and minelayers.
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Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade.
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