Ace of Spades HQ

« GOP Vixen Crowns World's Sexiest Male (sigh) Leader | Main | Someone To Read On The Huffington Post »

August 05, 2005

Another (Literal) Nail For My Heart

Not delivered by the piano-man who's found the song that makes it so tough, but by a pneumatic nail-gun shot right into the chest.

Supposedly the man slipped and accidentally shot himself through the heart with the gun, piercing the wall of his heart with the nail.

Well... okay. It's possible. But there are an awful lot of "accidental" self-shootings, and "accidental" insertions of 12" Steve Austin action figures (in jogging suit, with exposable bionics under the skin of the arm) into the rectum.

And, by the way, that reduces a figure's price on eBay a hell of a lot more than just taking it out of the original box.

Worth it? Absolutely. But just know the tradeoff.

posted by Ace at 03:39 PM

Comments

How bad is it that I never owned the Steve Austin, but I *did* have the sportcoat-wearing Oscar Goldman? Complete with the "exploding" suitcase bomb?

Oh, and instead of Batman, I had the Robin figure. WTF is with the sidekicks??

Man, my parents always bought me the shittiest toys.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on August 5, 2005 03:43 PM

Ace - Speaking of which, a few years ago a carpenter was working at a job site in Allentown. He accidentally cut his hand off with a chop saw. He tried to end his pain by shooting himself in the head with a nail gun like eleven times. It didn't work. True story, I'll try to find the link.

Posted by: John on August 5, 2005 03:56 PM

Here it is:
http://www.allmax.com/MILT/drill_ss.html
It's the third story down on this... very odd website.

Posted by: John on August 5, 2005 04:00 PM

I had that doll. But I never put it in my rectum.

Maskatron was a much better fit.

Posted by: Eric J on August 5, 2005 04:25 PM

How does the value work out if it's been up the nether regions but is still in the box? Does it matter if the sale takes place in West Hollywood or some other 'alternative action-figure activity' community?

Posted by: epobirs on August 5, 2005 05:25 PM

tried to end his pain by shooting himself in the head with a nail gun like eleven times

The John Wayne Geisy of suicide!

Posted by: 72 pooters on August 5, 2005 05:56 PM

weird, a friend of mine is an OR surgical asst. She told me yesterday "you would be amazed at the number of guys working construction who take the safeties off of their nail guns".

Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 5, 2005 06:27 PM

But there are an awful lot of "accidental" self-shootings, and "accidental" insertions of 12" Steve Austin action figures (in jogging suit, with exposable bionics under the skin of the arm) into the rectum.

"Million to one shot, doc!"

Posted by: butch on August 5, 2005 09:14 PM

weird, a friend of mine is an OR surgical asst. She told me yesterday "you would be amazed at the number of guys working construction who take the safeties off of their nail guns".

Unfortunately, I believe that, Dave. My hubby worked construction in his younger days and he's got a scar from lowering an unguarded circular saw to his calf.

We have 3 nail guns here and there's NO way he'd take the safeties off. They're there for a reason.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 6, 2005 02:02 AM

They remove the safeties so they can do a "bounce fire" and move along faster.

Yea its dumb...

Yea it'll get their employer in DEEP DUNG with OSHA if there's ever an insite inspection...

Roofers do it a lot. But then again nobody ever accused roofers of being rocket scientists either...

Posted by: on August 6, 2005 04:23 AM

Is there a better album than Squeeze "Singles, 45s and Under"? I think not.

Posted by: The Colossus on August 7, 2005 10:15 PM