So this horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Haw haw haw!

Get it?

...

...yes.

Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832)

British economist Jeremy Bentham is most often associated with his theory of utilitarianism. Bentham's views ran counter to Adam Smith's vision of "natural rights." He believed in utilitarianism, or the idea that all social actions should be evaluated by the axiom "It is the greatest happiness of the greatest number that is the measure of right and wrong." Unlike Smith, Bentham believed that there were no natural rights to be interfered with.

Trained in law, Bentham never practiced, choosing instead to focus on judicial and legal reform. His reform plans went beyond rewriting legislative acts to include detailed administrative plans to implement his proposals. In his plan for prisons, workhouses, and other institutions, Bentham devised compensation schemes, building designs, worker timetables, and even new accounting systems. A guiding principle of Bentham's schemes was that incentives should be designed "to make it each man's interest to observe on every occasion that conduct which it is his duty to observe." Interestingly, Bentham's thinking led him to the conclusion, one he shared with Smith, that professors should not be salaried.

In his early years Bentham professed a free-market approach. He argued, for example, that interest rates should be free from government control. (See Defence of Usury.) But by the end of his life, he had shifted to a more interventionist stance. He predated Keynes in his advocacy of expansionist monetary policies to achieve full employment and advocated a range of interventions, including the minimum wage and guaranteed employment.

His publications were few, but Bentham influenced many during his lifetime and lived to see some of his political reforms enacted shortly before his death in London at the age of eighty-four.

Dangit, I only meant to post once. Whoops. Well, twice now, but its all relative.

Well, as long as we were allowed to post anything.

Great website! Cool! I enjoy the work you have putting in here--and your secret links for PURE HERBAL VIAGRO to keep it stimulating!

PS Open threads suck like Wikipedia.

We can post anything?

Don't believe the TV lights, or the makeup, or the airbrushing - Aerosmith's Steven Tyler is an old man.

http://www.punditguy.com/2005/08/dude_looks_like.html

I cannot wait for the new Warmachine expansion book to come out. I really wanna add a Behemoth warjack to my Khador troop.

How do we get rid of 'Boogie' and get Dusty back? The Page 9 girl is ok but is hard to look at juxtaposed the way she is with 'Woody'.

Pie is an efficient way to deliver food. More of our food should come in the form of pie.
The list of foods that come in pie form is scandalously short.

I'm in love with my grilled cheese sandwich.

C'mere you naughty little vixen.

I wish I had a nickel for every time one of you inbred bastards said you wished you had a nickel.

And stay off the damn porch!

Marnie! Where's my laudenum?

WHERE'S MY F'ING LAUDENUM?

Jesus H. Christ, it's hot today. Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum.

A fire ship is a ship that is filled with combustibles, deliberately set on fire and steered (or, if possible, allowed to drift) into an enemy fleet in order to destroy ships or create panic and make them break formation. An explosion ship was a varation on the fire ship, intended to cause damage by blowing up in close proximity to enemy ships.

Warships of the age of sail were highly vulnerable to fire. With seams caulked with tar, ropes greased with fat, and holds full of gunpowder, there was little that would not burn. Accidental fires destroyed many ships, so fire ships presented a terrifying threat.

With the wind in exactly the right direction a fire ship could be cast loose and allowed to drift onto its target, but in most battles fire ships were equipped with skeleton crews to steer the fire ship onto the target (the crew were expected to abandon ship at the last moment and escape in the ship's boat). Fire ships were most devastating against ships at anchor or otherwise restricted in movement. At sea, a well-handled ship could evade a fire ship and disable it with cannon fire. Ships used as fire ships were old or inexpensive vessels.

Speaking of pie, here are the lyrics to American Pie.

I totally disagree Lauraw - Pie is messy, and you definitely need both both fork and plate to get the job done. And, it is almost NEVER complete w/o whipped (or ice) cream.

From the same site, the Paul Is Dead hoax.

So, John Kerry walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Hee Haw.

I believe that the Tuna Fish sandwich, properly executed, is one of the best food stuffs known to man. Nutritious, delcious. But will never get it's proper due because it is so easily made and not nearly as sexy or flamboyant as even the lowly hamburger.

If Tuna Fish had never been around before and it was suddenly introduced on us with even a modest PR push, every one would be talking bout it. This would be 'The Summer of Tuna Fish.' People wouldn't shut up about it. You would literally have to say "Hey Bob, bout the Tuna Fish? Shut up, ok? I mean, it's great, but I can't talk bout it all the fuckin time, ok?" And that not an exageration. It would be insane.

But no. No one does cause it's always there. Always has been.

Sleep, soft smiling, calls unto me, and they receive me, who quietly treat me as one familiar and well beloved in that house, but who will not, not now, not ever, but who will not ever tell me who I am. James Agee, Summer 1915

Yes I am falling asleep at my desk.

Cold pie can be carried in the hand with a mere napkin for the few crumbs. But I'm with laura here (as usual), more pie. More warm, messy pie.

I believe that the Tuna Fish sandwich, properly executed, is one of the best food stuffs known to man. Nutritious, delcious. But will never get it's proper due because it is so easily made and not nearly as sexy or flamboyant as even the lowly hamburger.

That, and a third of the population hates fish.

By the way, I just called some lady named:

Abby Rhodes

Weird.

Oh, this is f'n scintillating. Ace's place hasn't been this good since his week-long Miami Vice kick!

OK, since we're going to be playing this game...

A termite walks into a saloon.

And asks, "Where's the bartender?"

Does anybody else remember the Virgin Fugs?

So a hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

So, Lassie walks into a Mexican restaurant and the head waiter says "Sorry, we don't serve...never mind."

Didja hear about the dyslectic stoner?

Was always lighting up at 2:40, asking girlfriend to 96.

So this horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

And the horse says "havn't you ever hear of natural selection you f'ing IDer."

...

(Still trying to figure out the 2:40 part)

...

Dman, LOL! LOL!

Gratuitous Clinton plug of the day by the AP:

Researchers first genetically engineered a mouse in 1980. But until recently, such creations were mostly scientific novelties.

That changed drastically after President Clinton announced the mapping of the human genome in 2000.

Link

Tuna? Ugh, too fishy.

Peanut butter and jelly is the finest sandwich.... followed closely by Chick-fil-A.

Tuna fish poop in the water. Tuna fish drink the water. This becomes part of their flesh. Then humans make sandwiches out of poopy flesh.

Lipstick,

PBJ? The perfect sandwich? I daresay: I think not.

The perfect sandwich begins with thinly-sliced deli-style turkey, topped with a thin slab of sharp cheddar, a slice or two of firm tomato, a leaf of iceberg lettuce, a smear of Polish brown mustard, and served on oven-fresh wheat or pumpernickel bread.

*Sniff*. I miss Nikos Deli. Not much Deli action where I live.

RE: Tuna Fish v. PBJ.

I would only note that when a team loses on "Big Brother" the penalty is their having to eat PBJ sandwiches. This is a small point, of course, but I believe it reflects the broadly held American tradition/taboo whcih associates PBJ with 'outsiders' or 'Freaks/losers.'

This is not an attack, merely an cultural observation.

I love eating pie. Especially when it's warm and messy. Whipped cream is an added bonus. Just make sure you turn up the stereo and try not to crush my head with your thighs.

pie , tuna? Am I seeing a pattern here? Next thing ya be talking about tacos.

Yeah, but I think you guys should try as hard as you can NOT to think about Rosie, riding that bus, all f'ing day long, in the heat of summer.

Yup, DON'T think about that.

Rosie, I mean.

Riding that bus.

All. F'ing. Day. Long.

In the brutal, unrelenting heat of summer.

pie , tuna? Am I seeing a pattern here? Next thing ya be talking about tacos.

There is something fishy going on. I blame it on Bush.

Groannn

'Smatter lauraw? Tongue got your cat?

The camel's got her toe.

Turned raunchy at Ace's today, why look at all the threads...boobs, vaginas...shocking. I'm shocked.

But when you start with the bad puns...you've gone too far, sir.

Dogstar - LOFL - once again, it was way to quiet in this set of offices for me to laugh out loud like I did.

or hair in her pie.

the broadly held American tradition/taboo whcih associates PBJ with 'outsiders' or 'Freaks/losers.'

May be, but in PB's defense, I never hear of lovers slathering TUNA on each other.

Alright lauraw, no more. I promise to clam up.

Dogstar: http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/420.htm

May be, but in PB's defense, I never hear of lovers slathering TUNA on each other.

Agreed. But in Tuna's defense, almost no dolphins are killed in the manufacture of peanut butter.

(And if we have any common ground here, I'm sure we'd agree dolphins have been gettin away with their shit for far too long. )

Thanks. Long time occasional stoner, but never heard of that. Guess I didn't hang out with the cooler bunch of heads.

Oh, and I will NOT make any jokes about Lips and a stick. Not gonna stoop to that. Wouldn't be prudent, at this juncture.

Ray, you crack me up. :)

Dogstar, I appreciate your prudence. As a reward, go have a cookie.

compos, I heard that when Ace got caught cussing his mom made him put a quarter in the kitty.

(When she walked she jingled like a bag of sleighbells)

hey, everybody loves pie.

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. Bartender says "can I help you"?

And the duck says "yeah, help me get this guy off my ass".

then he pulled out an avacado, and the barmaid screamed.

Nice post on role-play gaming at metafilter today.

The first link there, "A Brief History of Gaming," discusses the evolution of the scene from minature wargaming to the whole fantasy 'pencil n paper' thing. Not just TSR but goes into the other early games, the companies behind them, even mentions GURPS (which gets brought up a lot round here.) Comprehensive but concise. Check it out.

A robot walks into a bar and tries to order a beer, but the bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots!"

The robot turns to leave, but pauses and says, "Someday you will."

I think this is pretty significant. What does it say to you when Chevron decides they need to put up a site like this?

http://www.willyoujoinus.com/

I'm with Ray on this one - tuna sandwiches are the best. Tuna MELT sandwiches are even better. Oh, and make sure you only get albacore white tuna. All the other stuff is cat food. I think that's where people get turned off of tuna, they go for the cheaper stuff. Oh, and only get oil packed tuna, people. I cannot stress this enough - water packed tuna just dreck. Even the best water-packed simply doesn't have the rich, delicious, delicate flavor of oil-packed, white albacore tuna. Just make sure you drain it well, is all.

Guy - Nice RPG history. He even mentions Empire of the Petal Throne which was the first RPG I ever played, as well as GURPS. He's right on about both games.

The NCAA today banned all sports mascots that are derogatory toward American Indians. Especially the term "Indians." I assume the NCAA then apologized for using such a derogatory term in their announcement.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/news/story?id=2125735

Now, I'm not saying that I can't see where some of this is coming from. I can see where Native Americans could be offended by the use of the mascots "the Redskins" and Southeastern Oklahoma State's "the Savages" (although their mascot doesn’t have a picture of an Indian, I think we can all guess where it comes from). I'll even give them Cleveland's old mascot, "Chief Wahoo."

But this is dumb on a number of levels. First, mascots aren't meant to mock their subject; they're meant to exalt it. Schools don't generally choose mascots that they think suck; they choose mascots they think are cool. Or can we also assume that the Univ of Tennessee is mocking its state history as "the Volunteer State," and the Naval Academy is mocking its students (who have the rank of Midshipmen), and that Vanderbilt is actually mocking its namesake's rank (Commodore Vanderbilt). And do any Irishmen hate Notre Dame (the Fighting Irish)? And why aren't British citizens of African descent up in arms about West Point (the Black Knights)?

The NCAA made some notable exceptions. For example, Alcorn State (the Braves) have to lose their mascot. But NC-Pembroke (the Braves) can keep their mascot because that school traditionally has a high minority of American Indian students; right now, about 20% of the student body is American Indian. I can understand this reasoning because if the Native Americans aren't offended by the use of the term to refer to them, then why should we find it offensive?

This philosophy does not apply to the Florida State Seminoles, who received permission from the Seminole Tribe of Florida to use them as their mascot. The difference being ... [thinks for a second] ... well, we've actually heard of Florida State. Or something.

And the NCAA also provided clear guidance on which mascots are offensive. For example, the feathered spear through the word "Braves" sported by West Georgia is fine, but that feathered spear on the helmets of Florida State is something better left to the Jim Crow era. And the feathered headress on the A (for Aztecs) sported by San Diego State is a sweet homage, but the feathered headress on the U in Utah (the Utes) makes us all think of kleagles and David Duke.

No word on what the NCAA is going to do about the schools in North and South Dakota, which were named after the Dakota tribes.

Please note that this rule only applies in NCAA playoffs. Schools won't actually be forced to change their mascots; they just can't "use" them in playoff situations. So the Illinois basketball team can still be called the Illini for 26 games a year; they just have to change their jerseys for a few games in March. Which I'm sure will make all the difference in improving the plight of the American Indian.

And since Division I football doesn't have a playoff, it won't effect D-I football at all. I'm sure that's just a coincidence, what with football being the NCAA's most prominent -- and highest revenue -- sport. Because we really care about the plight of the American Indians, it's just that our source of caring is our hearts, and not our wallet area.

So I think we all owe the NCAA a big round of thanks. Sure, the American Indians still have those pesky problems of terrible poverty, and rampant alcoholism, and poor education, and incidences of actual racism. But at least now they won't be forced to watch Arkansas State play football games with the term "Indians" written on their jerseys.

Yes, I'm sure this was a much better use of these people's money and time than, say, building schools.

$10 says that more people in this thread care about the RPG link from earlier than the NCAA sports link I just posted. Damned geeks.

And clearly, the best sandwich of all time is the grilled cheese sandwich. Its simplicity is a work of art: in the same way that all of life's diversity is made of protons, neutrons, and electrons (and there's other stuff, but that stuff sucks), so is the grilled cheese sandwich made of bread, butter, and cheese. Add the warming glow of heat, and we can create life itself on our griddles.

Plus, the sandwich was discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it Grilled Chas, which of course in German means a "whale's vagina."

... I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.

... Agree to disagree.

What does it say to you when Chevron decides they need to put up a site like this?

Under normal circumstances, it would tell me they're tired of the PR hammering they get from idiot leftists who want horses and buggys back, so they run "aren't we nice" ads like Wal*Mart,

Except I know the ChevronTexaco folks - they're based in San Ramon (formerly San Francisco, where despite their best efforts to be culturally sensitive and all that shit, they still caught a bunch of stupid crap from the SF community for being, you know, a company, so they left.

They are arguably more left-leaning than you izza.

Someday....private enterprise will be outlawed and we will all work happily, and share the rewards of that work with each other. We'll have vibrant gardens filled with nutritious vegetables, and we will live in harmony with the Earth instead of subjugating it.

Except me. You people will have to share with me because I have asthma and can't possibly be expected to lift a finger to support myself.

You work.
I'll be at home laying on the couch.

Now, doesn't that sound nice?

Comish,

I thought some of these schools already got the blessing from the named tribes, like the Seminoles.

Their attitude should rightly be, if the tribes involved are OK with it, butt out and shut up.

That will cut the legs out from under this BS controversy, hopefully.

Good points, Comish. March Madness next spring will be exactly that.

Comish,

My daughter goes to the University of North Dakota (Fighting Sioux) who's logo was designed by a member of that tribe. Check out the preceding link to see all the things these racists are up to.

All I can say is for this and many other reasons, its time some big schools got some balls and quit the NCAA and start an athletic association that has some benefits to, oh lets say, student athletes! What a concept.

These two guys walk into a bar...

...you would think the second one would have ducked.

Comish:

Excellent comment. Once again the PC community conflates race and culture to everyone's detriment. Saying that a school of arbitrary racial composition cannot celebrate the virtues of a culture or cultural sub-group seems to me to be the most prevalent and pernicions form of modern racism. Just as in the racially-charged criticisms of Colin Powell, Condi Rice, and Eminem, the PC community is trying to restrict our choice of cultures to those that match our skin color.

Racism of the highest degree.

corndogs.

corndogs w/honey mustard.

Never had one in my life.
Good?

they are the perfect combo - sweet, bready, hot-doggy goodness. On a stick.

ACLU Shooting Itself In The Foot?

http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=8543

An interesting article on ID which I know everyone had been waiting for.

This I believe settles the argument in favor of ID conclusively. :)

Meat ball sub.

Nice little brainteaser making the rounds of the web this weekend. Reminds me of one of the logic games from the LSAT, cept harder. Definitely need pencil and paper.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes,I'm positive..."

lauraw walked into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older sister is a lesbian."

The next day lauraw walked into the bar and placed the same drink order.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger sister is a lesbian too!"

On the third day lauraw walked into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said "Damn! Doesn't anybody in your family like men?"

"Yeah, my husband..."

Brewfan and Dave in Texas, both drunk, went into a bar and had a few beers. Dave got up and went into the john while Brewfan remained at the bar talking to the bartender.

All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from the john. Brefan at the bar said to the bartender that it sounded like Dave screaming, so he went into the john to investigate.

Brewfan went inside and asked Dave what the problem was. Dave said that everytime he flushed the toilet something reached up and squeezed his balls.

Brewfan shook his head and said,"You dumbass, you're sitting on the mop bucket".

Michael goes to his eye doctor for an examination. While examining his left eye, the doctor says, "You need to stop masturbating."
Michael replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

hyuck hyuck hyuck

A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it.
Then he hears a voice: "JESUS is watching you."

He looks around with his flashlight in momentary panic. Then he spots some $ on a table and grabs it. Once again he hears a voice: "JESUS is watching you."

He hides in a corner trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it. He goes over and asks, "Was that you?"

Parrot replies: "YES". The burglar asks, "What's your name?"

"MOSES."

The burglar says "What kind of a person names his bird Moses??"
The parrot replies, "THE SAME KIND OF PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTTWEILER "JESUS."

Why did they bury the Indi...er...Native American under the totem pole?

Because he was dead.

Guy, that was a really cool puzzle. I got the answer, but I had to assume that the green house was DIRECTLY to the left of the white one, which wasn't stated.

BTW, two suicide bombers are talking. One says to the other, "Do you smoke after sex?" The other one says, "Only when I'm fucking infidels."

Yeah, you're right about that 'directly' thing. They shoulda made that clearer.

I did it twice, assuming 'directly' the first time, then redid it to see if solvable otherwise. Don't think it is, least not for me.

Do you smoke after sex?
.
.
.
.
.
Then you should probably use a lubricant.

I just did a double-take at the web site of one of my favorite 60's underground comix artists, Skip Williamson. See if you see what made me think of Ace:

http://skipwilliamson.com/

(It's on the main page, after the flash intro.)

Three guys are in the waiting room for heaven. St. Peter calls the first guy over.

"So, how did you die?"

The man says, "Well, I came home early from work to find my wife in bed naked, looking as though she'd just been with a man. I went nuts and started looking for the guy. When I went out to the balcony near the kitchen, I see a guy hanging from it. I start beating on his fingers and he falls, but survives the fall by landing in some bushes. I'm enraged by this, so I grab the refrigerator, drag it to the balcony and push it over so it falls on this guy and kills him. The exertion, though, gave me a heart attack and I died."

St. Peter says "Wow. That's quite a story. Go wait in that line over to the right. Next!"

The second guy walks up. "So, how did you die?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I was exercising on my balcony when a gust of wind hit and I flew off. Fortunately, I grabbed the balcony a few floors down and was just getting ready to pull myself up when this guy comes out and starts banging on my fingers. I fell, thinking this was it, when I landed in some bushes and was saved. I lay there for a second, marveling in my good luck when I was hit by a refrigerator and died."

St. Peter frowns. "That's a sad story. Go wait in that line to the left. Next!"

The third guy comes up. "So how did you die?" asked St. Peter.

"It's the weirdest thing. I'm naked in this refrigerator..."

One from The Drifters.
(because I was listening to this song just now)

You can dance
Every dance with the guy who gives you the eye
Let him hold you tight
You can smile
Every smile for the guy who'd like to treat you right
'Neath the pale moonlight
But don't forget who's takin you home
And in who's arms you're gonna be
Oh, darlin' save the last dance for me

Oh I know
That the music's fine like sparklin' wine
Go and have your fun
Dance and sing
But while we're apart don't give your heart to anyone
And don't forget who's takin' you home
And in who's arms you're gonna be
Oh, darlin', save the last dance for me

You can dance
Go and carry on till the night is gone
And it's time to go
If he asks
If you're all alone, can he take you home
You must tell him no

And don't forget who's takin' you home
And in who's arms you're gonna be
Oh, darlin', save the last dance for me
And don't forget who's takin' you home
And in who's arms you're gonna be
Oh, darlin', save the last dance for me
.
.
.
Goodnight all you sweeties

"Brewfan shook his head and said,"You dumbass, you're sitting on the mop bucket". "

What was really weird though is that there was an avocado in the mop bucket!

Hey, have you seen Greg Gutfeld's HuffPo blog?

It's the funniest thing I've seen on the web in about two years.

when they the norwegion is the first house, does that mean he's at the far left then?

MechaSheep: Yes, far left.

BTW, if you don't assume that green house is directly to the left of the white house, there's an additional solution

Even though I got worse grades in college than George Bush, I had no problem figuring out the answer to Guy Dupre's brainteaser using my hyper-nuancing abilities. And that answer is, "The fish was stolen by Karl Rove and used to feed his conservative attack dogs and advance a radical right wing agenda." (Another acceptable answer is "Whatever Bush said it wasn't.")

This is actually an old riddle that I first solved while serving my country with distinction ... in Vietnam.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to showing the ordinary people that I'm one of them. By windsurfing off one of my wife's smaller yachts.

Oh, so I guess J. Kerry already told you guys that the answer is "Joe Wilson's wife."

... What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?

If Dick Cheney gets the answer to this brainteaser before me, I'll kill myself.

... Hey, no fair giving him the answer!

This I believe settles the argument in favor of ID conclusively.

You seem to have a lot of strange beliefs, max. That article brings up the same false claims that ID always brings up, claims long since refuted. It's because IDists do this that reasonable people won't debate them. You have to interrupt the IDist after every sentence for a half-hour explanation of why every word they just said is wrong. Formal debates don't let you do that.