Ace, that is the funniest thing I have read in at least a month.

Which all but guarantees you a spot in my annual Top 10, provided Goldstein doesn't go on a run and take you down in the second half.

Which, I don't know if that says more about your writing (which, doubtless, is hilarious), or my position on the nerd totem-pole.

But Scotty, O Captain, My Captain,
of the Engineering Deck, of course
Not of the full ship

Gold.

Have some tranya
and have some tranya for me
That little freak always weirded me out.

I always wanted some tranya, though.

a phaser set to "love."

Brought a tear to my eye.

You are a sick, sick man, Ace. Also funny. But sick. And frightening to young children.

Much like master craftsmen who weave one small imperfection into rugs, I appreciate the way you intentionally mistitled the crappy episode with the shootout at the OK Corral; actual name: "Spectre of the Gun".

But pretty brilliant in any case, Ace.

Okay, I'm not sure what that one was called.

I read (good lord, I'm a dork) the "novelizations" of the episodes by James Blish. I know the episode and the novelization of it had different names. One was "The Last Gunfight" and one was "Spectre of the Gun."

Here's to Scotty! The man who could recite insane tongue twisters even better than a president:

Scotty: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

President Bush:

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... fool me, uh... don't get fooled again."

I can't be sure, but I think Spectre of the Gun was the title of the novelization, which may have been the script's original title, but the actual episode goes under the name "The Last Gunfight."

Okay, it looks like the Blish novelization was "The Last Gunfight," at least according to this.

I'll change it. Loose shit.

Ace, I'm pretty sure Lapsed Leftist is right. Although the print version was indeed called "The Last Gunfight;" I had all twelve volumes of Blish's novelizations when I was a kid.

Possibly I should have shared that information on your geek thread.

Could have sworn the quotes were displayed with an identical structure.

Anway, my buddy and I reverse engineered Tranya one time. Turns out it's made of orange juice and a shot of Peach Schnapps.

You know, it would be nice if I could read the posts while I was typing. Just to avoid completely wasting my time. :S

Sorry, Ace, but this one I know. I actually own the Star Trek Encyclopedia...and sometimes just read it for enjoyment rather than looking up something specific. The name of the aired episode is Spectre of the Gun.

See the screen capture:
http://startrek.epguides.info/?ID=411

Got it. Changed it.

I am humbled. Not that I deserved not to be humbled. But I'm humbled none-the-less. That was brilliantly funny Ace. My appreciation abounds!

I'd wager that is the first ever elegy containing the word geosyncronous.

Star Trek Encyclopedia?

Novelizations?

I think it's time for another geek thread, or a flame war or something.

Okay, for some of you Star Trek retards, the name of the damned episode may matter. I couldn't personally give two shits. It's still hilarious to the extreme. Get the hell over it already!!

And Ace, you know you shouldn't take those action figures out of their packages. They're not worth as much now, especially since they've been up your ass.

The only man in the history of Star Fleet
to wear a Red Shirt and live tell the tale

'Cause he was a real man, quite unlike, say, a modern Frenchman.

A Canadian, but a Western Canadian. Volunteered for WWII, and then wounded on the beach in Normandy. Pilot with a rep as the "craziest pilot in the Canadian air forces". Father of TEN. Sired his last child at age EIGHTY . (! ! !) The original inventor of the beautiful Klingon language.

And definitely not a metrosexual.

Dude, if I had star trek figures in their original packaging, I wouldn't be blogging and begging for loose change.

I'd be playing with the fuckers, all day and all of the night.

Very fitting. Much better than that crap that Shelley wrote for Keats.

I weep for Adonais - he is dead!
O, weep for Adonais! though our tears

That, is pure pussy-shit. Good God what dreck! And what's with the extra "i" in Adonis, anyway, what the hell is that?

He came the last, neglected and apart;
A herd-abandoned deer struck by the hunter's dart.

Damn thing goes on like this for a few thousand lines! It's goddam awful. And teh ghey? You think maybe?? Shit.

Whilst, burning through the inmost veil of Heaven,
The soul of Adonais, like a star,
Beacons from the abode where the Eternal are

Figures, guy named "Percy". Simpering twat.

Ace,

LOL.

OK, super hilarious Scotty-thing.

Check.

Super hilarious comments where uber-geeks argue over the title of a Star Trek episode.

Check.

Said argument resolved by the Star Trek Encyclopedia.

Check.

Rich with absurdity and totally without irony, I too, have read the Blish books.

Check.

Best post over by Ace?

Could be.

"The only man in the history of Star Fleet
to wear a Red Shirt and live tell the tale"

Tear.

"Dammit Keptin, I kent change thuh laws of ghravity!"

Sniff.

Sigh.

I'd like for the jury to note that Mr. Spades did not in fact deny the allegations that he inserted Star Trek figurines up his bunghole.

So? Who hasn't?

Can we get back to discussing something important like how Karl Rove planned for Star Trek to be so popular and some of its cast members so beloved, in order that there would be a ready-made distraction from his Plamegate wrongdoing?

More stories of Mr. Doohan's ubermenchen-ness may be found on Ace's earlier thread today.

Wonder what this
costs?

So, isn't anyone going to point out the fact that Yeoman Rand wasn't in the episode, "Tomorrow is Yesterday?" Or are people tired of geeking out here?

LOVED the poem. Will be sharing with the hubs.

Later,
bbeck

Only title I could think of off the top of my head.

She was only on three or four shows. I wasn't *that* in love with her that I know which ones.

She really did wear a very, very short skirt.

LOL, just busting yer chops, Ace. FYI, Rand comes closest to exposure in "The Enemy Within" episode, where she has to fight off "Evil" Kirk. Yeah, she was always stupid.

Later,
bbeck

Scotty, as one engineer to another. fare thee well, may your paths be straight, you are going on that long trek to eternity where no living man has never before.

I made the wife listen as I read the whole thing. I couldn't get through the Spock porking part I was laughing so hard.

Ace, that has to be one of the funnyist things you have ever written, and as for the Uber Geek argument about the proper title of a episode, I am reminded of the old Saturday Night Live show with William Shatner at the Star Trek Convention when he loses it...

"You! Yes YOU! How old are you?? 32? HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A GIRL?.....I KNEW IT!! IT'S TIME FOR YOU PEOPLE TO GET OUT OF YOU'RE PARENTS BASEMENTS AND GET A LIFE!!!"

Too fuckin' funny!

I can't believe you haven't been Instalanched for this. Conspiracy!

I thought ace banned the word pooter.

"I thought ace banned the word pooter"

He did. We are to call him 'Michael' instead.

Hah!
Brewfan & lauraw renew their mystical bond...
...of comedy at the expense of others...
It's OK.

It's Mikey! He likes it!

Ace, that has to be one of the funnyist things you have ever written...

What's a "funnyist"? Is it someone who's prejudiced against comedians?

Oh sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph by the time I got to the end of this I was in tears and people in the office are looking at me funny.

Last time I saw Scotty, he was pimping batteries for Radio Shack. A rather ignominious capstone to an otherwise-worthy career.

And as for Sulu vs. Chekhov - at least Walter Koenig went on to become the charmingly evil leader of Psi Corps in Babylon 5. George Takei's biggest recent credit was a voiceover on "Mulan II: Disney Hits Rock Bottom".

D00d! This is getting forwarded so fast and so far that it's going to cause rifts in space-time.

Byron, Keats and Shelley: call your offices. Blake: watch your ass; you're next, you toffy-headed opium huffer.

Son, now that there is some poetry. I didn't know you had that much in you, you stupid Sally-ass pansy!

I had to argue with you geeks about the proper title for the episode at the OK Corral. But no one seemed to pick up that I originally wrote, Sit, Be Well, Have Some Tranya.

Hmm, is this a challenge to find ALL the incorrect ST references? Gee, Ace, do you really want to go there?

I'm guessing you don't.

Later,
bbeck

Oh hell, I got all worked up for nothing...

Saw bbeck's post listed in the Recent Comments section as "I had to argue with you geeks about the proper tit...", but it turned out to be a false alarm.

Damn.

Also, I believe th gentleman with the wrath is known as "Khan."

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!

/khan

Hahahahahahaha

Ace, funniest thing since the skankathon

It's a beautiful eulogy, Ace.
Makes me wish I had been a Trekkie.

Eggsolent!

If he's not dead, he faked it just to hear that sonnet.