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July 13, 2005

Ace's Belated Movie Recommendations: Anchorman

For some reason I got the feeling this movie wasn't funny. The stuff they showed in the commercials wasn't all that funny, and the reviews were mixed at best.

Someone had a bootleg of it a long time ago and I half-heard it while playing poker. It didn't sound good.

But, it's on HBO now (HBO on Demand, for those of you with digital), and I've watched it about two and a half times in the past three days.

It's hysterical. I think the reason the commercials didn't seem very funny is that it sort of requires a learning curve to find it funny. It's just so utterly stupid, and Will Ferrel is such an absurd caricature, it takes a little bit to build on itself until everything in the movie gets funny.

That deep, pompous voice. Man. I love the line:

I have one burning passion in my loins. Like a flaming, golden hhhhawkkhh.

That's just "hawk," but all drawn out and over-annunciated. Like the way Kirk used to say "Spockkkkhhh" instead of "Spock."

"By the Beard of Zeus!" and "Sweet Odin's Raven!" are also pretty funny exclamations by Ferrell.

Anyway, if you've avoided this movie so far, take a look. The first five minutes you're going to think it's the most retarded piece of shit you've ever seen. But then... it becomes transcendent.

Transcendantly retarded, but still.

Oh, and there's a shitload of cameos. Half are from SNL, and half are the sort of people that always show up in these sorts of movies. Apparently Hollywood has decided that it can't make a comedy unless it contains three of four from this list: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughan, Will Ferrel, and at least one of the Wilson brothers.

Political Shit? Some people say they stayed away due to the movie's anti-Bush content.

Well, all that is is one line at the end of the movie, when they're describing what happened to all the characters later in life. The retarded character became a key Bush advisor.

A dumb joke and only for liberals, but really, it's not like one line at the very end of a movie can really ruin a movie.

So, the one guy in Animal House ended up working for the Nixon White House and going to jail over Watergate... doesn't make the Vaughan Liebowitz scene any less funny. (And vicious.)

Just sayin' -- this sort of joke is made all the time by Hollywood. Anchorman makes one four-second anti-Bush joke. In Hollywood terms, that almost makes it pro-Bush.

posted by Ace at 01:36 AM

Comments

But . . . but . . . but, then I have to put up with the unfunny political shit. I hate to reward them with my few bucks.

Posted by: on July 13, 2005 01:53 AM

The first five minutes you're going to think it's the most retarded piece of shit you've ever seen. But then... it becomes transcendent.

Perfect description of Napoleon Dynamite.

Posted by: Man of Substance on July 13, 2005 01:56 AM

"The human torch was denied a bank loan."

Funny flick. Wears thin after two or three viewings, although some of Ferrell's lines continue to amuse. "Brian, I'm going to be quite honest. That smells like pure gasoline."

You know, Ace, I've always thought of you as a miniature Buddha covered in hair.

By the way, "Ace" in German means "a whale's vagina."

Posted by: Allah on July 13, 2005 02:06 AM

"It smells like Bigfoot's dick!"

That's a good one.

Posted by: ace on July 13, 2005 02:13 AM

"You're a smelly pirate hooker."

(crying) "I can't believe that poop that came out of your mouth.... poop-mouth... you're a poop-mouth."

Posted by: ace on July 13, 2005 02:22 AM

First time I saw it was on an airplane. Far funnier than I expected--not that my expectations were high.

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on July 13, 2005 03:02 AM

My impression after watching it was that they had a lot more fun making the movie than I did watching it. It was amusing, and had some funny moments, but I don't think this is going down as one of the classics of comedy.

Posted by: Mark on July 13, 2005 05:18 AM

I had pretty much the same reaction to the film. I only watched it because I'm stuck in a hotel room. Now I've seen it three times.

Posted by: Silk on July 13, 2005 07:11 AM

"The first five minutes you're going to think it's the most retarded piece of shit you've ever seen...."

Make that the first 91 minutes and I'm with you, Ace. I'd rather sit in a barerel of snot than watch anything with Will Farrell in it.

Posted by: Buddha the Magnificent on July 13, 2005 07:44 AM

"Apparently Hollywood has decided that it can't make a comedy unless it contains three of four from this list: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughan, Will Ferrel, and at least one of the Wilson brothers."

GQ has you beat, Ace:
http://men.style.com/gq/toc

Posted by: benjamin on July 13, 2005 08:03 AM

It's nice to have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised, isn't it?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on July 13, 2005 08:11 AM

If you watch no other part of the movie, watch the network news team gang fight scene -- absolutely hilarious! (But, in a retarded sort of way.)

Posted by: idgit on July 13, 2005 09:00 AM

I thought Will Ferrel stopped being funny awhile ago. But I never saw this one. Did hear there was some dumb political stuff in it though. Maybe I'll give it a shot on cable

Posted by: brak on July 13, 2005 09:17 AM

Ace, you know I don't speak Spanish. Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?

FYI, I'm wearing Sex Panther at work *right now*. . . I'm a freakin' fe-magnet.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

P.S. I learned from Anchorman that menstruation attracts bears.

Man, that was a great effin' flick. . .

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on July 13, 2005 09:40 AM

I'm with Idgit.

I've watched the fight scene maybe 50 times. It gets better and better with each viewing. And the aftermath scene in the office cracks me up each time.

"I killed a guy . . . with a trident"

The rest of the movie I could take or leave, although there are some really funny lines sprinkled throughout. Like all of Ferrell's stuff, it's hit or miss -- some of it works, some doesn't.

The fight scene is worth the price of admission, though.

Posted by: The Colossus on July 13, 2005 09:46 AM

I love this movie, the fight scene is definetely my favorite. And Ferell talking to his dog, priceless. Low expectations always worked for me. :)

Posted by: Petitedov on July 13, 2005 10:05 AM

Haven't seen it yet, but last night I accidentally caught Reno 911 on the Comedy channel for the first time. It was Tivo-Season-Pass-worthy.

Posted by: Stace on July 13, 2005 10:17 AM

The Jack Black scene is the best. "That's How I Roll!"

Posted by: Foppa on July 13, 2005 11:03 AM

Ace,

My niece loved this movie, she of the "Napoleon Dynamite is the funniest movie ever made society."

I thought the funniest thing in the movie was when he was doing biceps curls in his office.

I dunno'.

I laughed out loud at that.

Mhy niece crakcs up at, "Scotch, Scotch, Scotch..."

I dunno'.

We're like that.

Posted by: MeTooThen on July 13, 2005 11:10 AM

Wow, you're slow... let me guess, you were too busy working on that 'Gone With The Wind' movie review. Let me recommend some other films to catch up on:

Tora Tora Tora
Raging Bull
Airplane
Car Wash
Blues Brothers
Platoon
Firefox

These aren't playing in theaters, but I'm sure you can find them on DVD. Oh wait... you do know what DVDs are, right ACE?

Posted by: El Capitan on July 13, 2005 11:25 AM

"I'm gonna punch you in the ovaries. Yup, right in the babby maker."

Classic. Be sure to watch the extras, too. Some of it's kind of lame, but there are some golden moments.

Posted by: US Soldier on July 13, 2005 12:02 PM

"Vaughan Liebowitz"?

Wasn't it *Fawn* Liebowitz?

Posted by: westy310 on July 13, 2005 12:36 PM

How perfect was Tim Robbins as the turtleneck-wearing, pipe-smoking, pseudo-intellectual from PBS?

Posted by: Kevin on July 13, 2005 12:50 PM

"I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!"

"DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!!!"

Posted by: on July 13, 2005 12:56 PM

"It smells like a diaper full of Indian food."

Posted by: Les Jones on July 13, 2005 01:10 PM

There were too many jokes that you had to work to get.
The fight seen was great, but they were trying to do to much. Look at Wake Up Ron Burgundy. They did this whole terrorist story that couldn't fit with the original movie.
It was like they were doing different skits with the same characters.

Posted by: Iblis on July 13, 2005 01:19 PM

"doesn't make the Vaughan Liebowitz scene any less funny. (And vicious.)"

I always thought it was Fawn Liebowitz.

Posted by: Master of None on July 13, 2005 01:47 PM

Ooops. Sorry westy310. (note to self: read comments before adding comment)

Posted by: Master of None on July 13, 2005 01:50 PM

Ferrell's no Ted Baxter.

Posted by: Dman on July 13, 2005 01:58 PM

The scenes that had me laughing hardest were the Sex Panther cologne scene and the dog/bear conversation. I have no excuses.

Posted by: Hondo on July 13, 2005 02:05 PM

Sex Panther: Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Public television news, no commercials, NO MERCY!

Posted by: Lord Floppington on July 13, 2005 02:11 PM

Duh, but make sure you watch the unrated version. I've seen both, and it's significantly funnier. It's the difference between:

Champ: "I crapped a squirrel! A real live squirrel."

Brick: "I ate your chocolate squirrel."

and nothing. You shouldn't be allowed to cut out stuff like that.

Posted by: harkyman on July 13, 2005 02:34 PM

Yes, it was Fawn Liebowitz. She was in National Lampoon's High School yearbook as Dacron High's token beatnick. Very sad fate.

Honestly, Ace. Vaughn? It's enough me to doubt you. For a second or two.

Posted by: Jeff Z on July 13, 2005 02:58 PM

I will have to punch it in on HBO On Demand tomorrow morning.

Posted by: meep on July 13, 2005 04:51 PM

Brick . . . where did you get that hand grenade?

As far as the *last line of the movie ruining the whole thing*, what about Blade? "Some asshole's always trying to iceskate uphill." ??? I have at least one friend whose enjoyment of that movie was ruined by that one line.

Cue: "Blade? WTF!?! That piece of crap? . . . etc.

Posted by: Tim Higgins on July 13, 2005 05:46 PM

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Good rickroll

What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
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A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.