Okay that made me smile. I'm officially a very bad person. Thanks for bringing out the evil, Ace.

Hmm, you're sounding tentative. Like maybe you're still feeling bruised about the post on Fat Kid's friend that fell off the cruise ship. I understand that. But geeze, Ace, do you think anyone comes here because you're sensitive?

Save the sensitive shit for the chicks. We're looking for unadulterated Ace.

Hey! Like it or not, ace is truly a considerate guy (as opposed to the rest of you dickheads).

Hey anon, let me prove your point for you: Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut?

Hey July,

I got your consideration right here!

When you show up in hell, tell em "Chaaaarlie sent ya".

I'm sorry for calling you two dickheads. I really meant to call you teenyeenyweeniedick-heads.

Guess who's premenstrual?

Dogstar:

I am soooooo offended. Can't believe you would leave such a post on a high-minded, intellectual site like this.

Good Lord, Ace. . .

I almost expectorated all over the monitor.

-T

He was Bart Simpson:

Thomas Russell Rogers was born in Minneapolis and grew up during the Depression in a household run by his single mother. At times, he stayed with his grandparents in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

During Prohibition, he occasionally hung out at speakeasies, where he earned a little spending money cleaning floors and scurrying around town making deliveries for bootleggers, who presumed the police wouldn't suspect a kid. Although he was never a good student, he knew that he wanted to be a writer. When he wasn't observing speakeasy hustlers and small-time hoodlums, he was spending time at the public library. He was still a teenager when he sold his first story to a pulp detective magazine; his mother had to help him cash the twenty-dollar check.

Am I looking for a Ace posting that tastes good or is in good taste? Tastes good of course!

No, it's not ironic, it's what we in the business call a "coincidence," but it's a pretty damned funny one.