Top Ten Other Paul Krugman Errors, Distortions, and Flat-Out Lies

10. George Bush's hometown is Crawford, Texas, not "Fuckhead Junction," as Mr. Krguman maintains

9. Alan Greenspan's most recent testimony stated that the economic growth is "strong with some risk of inflation;" he did not say "If I were you, I'd start investing heavily in diamonds, guard dogs, and automatic weapons"

8. Dick Cheney is not "a man so mean he once shot a man just for snorin'"

7. Contrary to Mr. Krugman's suggestion, the Treasury is not researching the possibility of replacing the dime's image of FDR with Adam Sandler from Billy Madison (although it is true that Bush is "a big fan")

6. It was a highly misleading use of statistics for Mr. Krugman to conclude that "By the year 2008, you'll all have to sell your children into a Thailand psycho-sexual circus just to pay for a pack of Lucky Strikes"

5. No administration official every said the Iraqi people would great us with "sweets and flowers;" certainly no high-ranking Bush official said "The Iraqis will be so happy we're bombing them they'll rub their palms raw giving our boys erotic foot massages and/or 'whirling dervish handjobs'"

4. Bush has no plans to hyperinflate the US currency to both obliterate the deficit and "just so he can impress his fat-cat Enron buddies by making a paper-mache statue of Travis Tritt from thousand dollar bills"

3. Mr. Bush gets his intelligence information from highly-qualified national security professionals, and not by gleaning old episodes of Quantum Leap for "coded messages" from Ziggy "about the future"

2. There is simply no truth to the claim that Bush has any attention of appointing "Constantine" from American Idol as Ambassador to Pakistan because "the guy just drips sex" and "really killed on that cover of Bohemian Rhapsody"

...and the Number One Other Paul Krugman Error, Distortion, or Flat-Out Lie...

1. Social Security will go bankrupt no later than 2042 and not, per Mr. Krugman's calculations, "sometime around the age of Logan's Run, when the Carousel will take care of the pension problem anyway, and I'll finally get to bang Jenny Agutter"