Haiku Flame War Repetition

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no haiku - I suck at haiku

Read once, then again
"Haiku Flame War Competition"
Loose shit, Ace of Spades

Pfft. Another one?
Goddam Ace and his haikus . . .
Cram it up yer ass.

This post was actually deleted. It was mistakenly posted.

In the actual post (the one still up), I make it clear that haikus and normal prose (that means "not in haiku form," retards) are acceptable, and both will be rewarded.

Star Wars geeks abound,
Yawning, can't stay awake,
I want squeakhole jokes!

Okay, you guys realize you're posting to a phantom post?

Go to the other one, please. This one only shows up when you click through the comments.

Okay, remember what I said about posting in the other thread? Forget it. I'm clearly dealing with retards, so I made this the main thread and made the other one the phantom thread.

You ridiculous fools already flamed yourselves so well in that thread that I feel no need. It's like urinating all over an infant. Sure, it's easy and hilarious, but there's no sense of besting someone in combat. It's just a baby that smells like the coffee you drank that morning.

[moved by ace to this thread]

I'll repost my flame on lauraw from the director's cut thread:

See, you stupid fuckers, I told you. Let the girls in the fort and the first thing they do is try to hang up queer-ass curtains. Fuck you, lauraw. If ace's is too geeky for you (and not geeky enough for you, physics geek) you can shove that keyboard you're typing on right up your Champs Elysee of a cunny (broad, smelly, and full of Frenchmen) next to the award for "most oblivious to a theme" that you won from asking about why they have so much dirty Mexican shit at Chevy's.

Rmember how nobody posted a reply to that one the first time, hob?

Yeah.

Nice flamewar, shitsack. It's here; no, now it's here; no it's here again. Don't post here, post HERE, because I'm a sniveling, whiny bitch who can't get my shit together on my own fucking website.

God, I hate you. I really fuckin' hate you, you lousy pissant.

There once was a man named compos
Who regaled us with irritable-bowelled prose
To the Port-o-Potty he flew
A shit stew in his shoes
Freshly laid compost lodged firmly between toes.

touche

Post here, post there, what?
Unfrozen caveman blogger
Can't stop the loose shit.

which is it fucker?

this thread or the other one. kil one, kill the other. kill yourself, but get it straight.

Stop whacking off to Saddam and get this flamewar in gear.

A pole dancer you are not

Lipstick Dynamite

No fuck-me-pumps / shlongs for you

maybe ace OD'd on his meds today.

My hate for you and your crappy website burns like the heat from a thousand suns.

To call the abysmal tripe you post here lousy is to utterly beggar the word "lousy" and strip it of meaning. You grunt and strain and finally emit some dried-up little bolus of bad that everyone chuckles at politely because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

I liken your existence to the toilet-bowl leavings in a Taco Bell: a viscous, turgid black-brown smear that cannot be removed without harsh chemicals.

You are a turd, a louse, a dingy fleck of snot encrusting the upper lip of some squalling infant. Your stench has caused the government to classify you as a Level 3 biohazard. Your nonsensical ravings do not even rise to the level of dumb; surely your putrid scribblings must be the result of a damaging forebrain accident.

It's touché. Moron.

OK, I'm moving this from the "hey look I sill can't figure out my software" thread:

Monty Admits the Truth in Therapy

Too broke for a date?
No, he's busy beating off
To Mom's romance novels

Wore sexy undies
Walked across room in high heels
Sprained my ankle bad.

I once had a kitten named Moist;
it got run over by a 50 ton hoist.
Memories of my pet
are tinged with regret-
I wish I'd insured it foist.

Wow. I followed the link. "Embarrasing revelations" is right.

But I think it comes as no surprise to anyone that Slublog masturbated so much in high school that his penis chafed down to the size of a raisin and today he fills his sexless life by blogging and thinking back on the day when at least his "halfling" D&D character was getting laid - assuming the dice rolls worked out in his favor, that is.

And I think all of us have no problem accepting the fact that Monty's been salving his third grade humiliation by wearing panties ever since.

Eric J. has not actually stated that he no longer indulges his, er, passions, which leads me to assume that the he's not the one doing the blog trolling; while Eric J. reads comics and wonders if the Green Lantern is "into fat guys" his jizz-stained Elfquest costume, able to stand up on its own since 1993 and recently displaying a rude monkey-like intelligence, has somehow been able to figure out how to log onto the Internet, and, well, the rest is Ace of Spades Blog history.

And holy crap, Monty; You're STILL trying to impress the skinny four-eyed chick who brings to the "NO BLOOD FOR OIL!" signs to the rallies? Got some news for ya, sport: She's a lesbian, and you're not the kind of pussy she likes.

The Ballad of Compos Mentis

Compos Mentis went out one day
To watch the kids out while they played
But out of nowhere came a sound
And looking back at what he'd found
A stool the size of two mans' fists
Had made its way out with a mist
Of stench ungodly and so foul
All people round were heard to howl
And off to the toilet did he fly
While spraying turds on those passed by
And after while he reached the stall
Showering rank feces on the wall
Wiping his shit stained body with a shirt
But it could not hide his man-made dirt
So finally as a last resort
His hid his shame in purple shorts.

What kind of basement living troglodyte corrects people for neglicting a frickin' "accent aigu" (I'm embarrassed that I know enough French to know the term!)... This is America, DAMN it, we'll decide whether it's worth the trouble to add the accent or not, Al'Loser.

Heck, I bet you've even got the character map to that symbol memorized, you French-loving geek!

Oh, jeeze a fucking grammar-flame. How will I ever live that down. What kinda queer, weak, pussified insult is that?

And about a "special" character, no less. Listen, Al, you're a pretty special character, too, y'know.

suck my asshole, frenchie.

Ace has watched Top Gun
90 times just to see the
beach volleyball scene.

brak puked on a stripper
spongeworthy is too cool for school
alessandra is a job-interview tripper
bbeck thinks Buckley is cool

you are all a collection of freaks
a group of crusty yellow stains
i wish you all buried in a graveyard of geeks
so I can come by and piss on your remains

Hell, I don't need to craft a flame for Monty, I just need to list his posts.

observe:

1) I enjoyed the four-part A&E showing of "Pride and Prejudice" so much that I bought the DVD set and watch it once or twice a year.
2) When I was thirteen or fourteen, I went on a romance-novel binge when I found out that the "bodice ripper" ones had a lot more sex than the Harlequin ones.
3) When I was little, my mom not only dressed me in plaid pants, a yellow shirt, and powder-blue blazer...she took a picture of me in this freakshow getup and sent copies to the rest of the family.
4) At one time I thought The Superfriends was the greatest cartoon ever. (Even in those dark days, however, I still thought the Wonder Twins were dumb.)
5) I voted for Bill Clinton not once, but twice. (Although I have somewhat redeemed myself by voting for W. twice as well.)
6) I own the Gordon Lightfood CD called Gord's Gold and have been known to listen to it when I have the blues.

1) I was only only a D&D player in the 1980's, I was actually a Dungeon Master and had several binders full of dungeons I designed myself.
2) I actually canceled a date in high school because I didn't have enough money both for the date and a computer game I wanted. (You can see the bind I was in.)
3) In the third grade, I paid Rose M. twenty-five cents to see her underwear and was too timid to complain when she welshed and stole my quarter.
4) In the fourth grade, Ramona S. beat me up because I wouldn't fight back. (Oddly -- or sadly -- enough, she was also the first girl I dated when I got to Jr. High. And she never apologized for beating me up.)
5) Old Yeller made me cry.

Good God Monty, queer much?

I've got to say, I just think that it's appalling how you people are insulting each other in a blog comments section. Scandalous. And sick, really sick that you derive some twisted entertainment value from it.

I simply can't condone this sort of behavior.

Spring Turns to Summer
by Eponymous

Call me April, call me May
This blog harbors morons,
I can honestly say.

I'll soon be June
But you'll still be retarded.
You think you thought,
But only farted

You cowardly no-name-posting post-cribbing waste of human skin. You quote my dork-thread post (out of context, I might add), and don't even have the common goddam courtesy to add your own insult -- however lame -- beyond a weak-ass reference to my supposed gayness.

You suck. You are the lowest of the low. I've had diarrhetic discharges with more verve than you brought to that worthless piece-of-shit post. Crawl off and wallow in your own shame, pissant.

I just wish Lauraw were around. I wanted to thank her for being the only person here with balls enough to tell the rest of you how teeth-grindingly pathetic your silly Star Wars fetish has become. For the last week this site has felt like some LiveJournal shit-hole where whiny teenage girls of various ages and sexes sit around endlessly dissecting every single friggin’ episode of The O.C., while they imagine what it would be like to “do it” with Luke.

Bill is looking at drudge all morning and manages to work the word "balls" into about 10 of his posts.

Coincidence?

Bill-from-INDC-channeling-Sully,

Boo-freakin'-hoo, pansy. Maybe at Curves tonight you can commiserate with the other women about how vile this all is.

The fact the you can name a character from the "OC" speaks volumes, utron. Stop trolling the high school girls' chat sites desperatly trying to find some jerk material.

Monty, that wasn't supposed to be anonymous.

That was me, Mon-tina.

seriously, though, check out the Saddam thread for some real laffs

here

And montina, I'm guessing tha you enjoy the parts in the bodice rippers about the large throbbing man-meat best. Right?

It speaks volumes about my ability to Google, dickwad. And at least my jerk material features human females. Yours, I suspect, features a rampant Jar Jar Binks thrusting up your tailpipe, while burbling "Issa my good bitch!" in that cretinous patois you find so alluring.

Bill is looking at drudge all morning and manages to work the word "balls" into about 10 of his posts.

You're just jealous that a 68 year-old tin-pot dictator's shriveled dork and bean bag fills out a banana hammock better than your itty-bitty baby balls ever could ...

But I won't expand on that, because this whole insult thread is immature.

and montina, only a sub-retard drooler like you would claim that entire posts are "out if context"

Did I miss the metanarrative of your fucking insanity?

Googling "OC" looking for pictures of "Luke's" nubile young ass so you can defile yourself while you post as "cute_cheerleader_gurl" and try top get the 14 year old girls to talk about their periods and training bras. But hey, at least they're human, as opposed to your younger days running dolphinsex.org.

Bill'd hit it: fap fap fap

utron, LMAO

hob:

What the hell do I care what you think? You wear cheap shoes! Crappy, low-rent, white-trash plastic high-tops that only borderline-deviant people would even consider wearing. Your sophomoric mangling of my name is something I would expect of a slightly retarded second-grader with abandonment issues...and really crappy shoes.

Your entire pathetic waste of a life comes down to your disappointment with your sub-par footwear as a child. Admit it: you keep a rumpled photo of a pair of Reebocks in your wallet and wank to it as often as you can.

Interesting picture of interacting with human females you have there, brak. Actually, it's not like that at all.

Not that you'll ever know. Ten years from now you'll still be sitting around by yourself in the seedy little studio that's all you can afford on your salary from the Seven-Eleven night shift, watching a worn, grainy VHS tape of Star Wars IV: The Boredom Commences, while desperately maniplating that pathetic little noodle between your thighs that you secretly like to call your "light-saber."

what are you, hannibal lecter?

yeah. shoes.

BTW, Saddam is showing his man-meat on drudge. knew you'd like the tip

No, utron, it's not like that at all. Actually, the teenage girls ignore your cries for attention, and you are left to diddle yourself, alone. That would be your definition of interaction. Mine involves uncoiling my light saber so I can reduce another beautiful wench into submisssion. You only got a narrow view of me while you pleasured yourself peeking in through the window watching me take a dump.

Seriously, I'm not enough of a Star Wars fan to carry this one much farther lol.

Fat Kid used to blog
Then he quit, vowed no return
Like that bitch Sully

Hair like Bert Convy
Slip on sidewalk broke his leg
Utron is so suave.

Yeah, brak, I think we've taken this one about as far as it will go. Besides, I just got back from lunch, and the mental image of watching you take a dump is about to bring the chicken cordon bleu right back up. I think I'll take a break, and just focus on not vomiting for the next hour or so.

I agree that there's a lack of hateful spite in this thread. Maybe it's the weather.

/got nothin

Good Lord, you guys really suck.

utron - whiny teenage girls of various ages and sexes . . .

Hey dumbfuck, your proctologist called. He found your head.

Seriously, I actually had a whole other post just to give you jagoffs material, and...

this is the best you can come up with.

I hate you guys. I really hate you guys.

Monty,

really crappy shoes.

I don't really know you, but dude, your obsession with shoes ... well ...

... it's pretty damn gay if you ask me.

You should probably try not to think about where that chicken's been the last few months.

Like at the slaughterhouse, where it was ripped apart by inbred, minimum wage morons who probably sneezed into its open, oozing carcass.

And the cage where it lived prior to that, knee deep in its own feces, splattered with the urine of the twenty or so chickens within splashing distance on it, eating chemical-laden foodstocks that had to be lethal enough to kill the untold millions of parasites breeding rampantly throughout its muscles, bloodstream and digestive tract.

Bill from INDC -

go back to getting
fucked by bumperstickerest
without reach around

ace, I'll go eat lunch. Maybe it's just an energy thing.

And maybe you can fucking suck it up and build your own damn traffic, you mewling little worm.

Ace can kiss my ass
on a steamy summer day
in a port-o-let

I hate you guys. I really hate you guys.

Compos mentis -

Playing in the sun
The thrill of competition
Daddy smells like shit!

"this is the best you can come up with.

I hate you guys. I really hate you guys."

Ooooo. I'm so hurt seeing as this was written by a guy who's so empty on ideas that his only readable content, which he reposts about ten times a week, is tucked away in the February 2004 archive.

Gee, Ace - tell us more about how unfunny Margaret Cho is and then swallow what you started so Bill from INDC can zip up his pants and get back to some REAL blogging, ya friggin' sissy.

My boss dumped a lot of work in my lap...I actually have to work today and can't jack around with this stupid site. Maybe I will join in later - when I can think clearer.

laura w
must have vaginal dryness
she once was a man

Shattered Dreams

Ace no matter how many
Letters you write C.C.
Won't talk dirty to you

Bill from INDC:

Your attempt at drollery does not amuse, sir! I find it sophomoric, inane, and completely without any redeeming virtue. You, sir, are a cad. A bounder. A libertine of the very worst and immoral sort. A scoundrel who shall surely come to a bad but richly-deserved end. I can only pity your poor mother and father, who must be so ashamed at bringing such a one into this world. May God have pity on your pathetic fallen soul!

compos, the best part of you dribbled down your mother's cellulite encrusted leg.

I hate you guys. I really hate you guys.

dildos and blowjobs
aren not tinkerbelle's forte
her finger works well

if assholes could fly
this place would be an airport
fuck everybody

Lipstick Dynamite said:

Nobody asked me to the senior prom :(

Bill from INDC
Rathergate moment in limelight
All the rest is dross.

compos, the best part of you dribbled down your mother's cellulite encrusted leg.

My dog ties herself
around trees eight times a day.
Still smarter than you.

dungeons and dragons
star wars geeks never get laid
pa-fucking-thetic

You know who you are.

And Ace, for someone who thinks he' sooo fucking smart, your inane inability to put simple fucking thoughts into a 5-7-5 syllable structure shows how truly goddam retarded you are. If I ever need a brain transplant, I'll be sure to ask for yours. I'll want one that's never been used.

Brass -

3 million visits
Your mom's ankles by my ears
Say that you are wrong

Looks like the "Ace of Spades Freak Out Advisory" needs a new top level. Perhaps "Unable to Maintain a Erection," and in a block of mottled pink.

A reliable source tells me that Ace has a large collection of puffy shirts.

Yeah, LD, and trim that monster while you're at it. It looks like Epstein from Welcome Back, Kotter is giving you head.

New name for LD: Epstein-Head

that doesn't really make sense, now does it turdeater?

Let's be honest. When you post something like this, largemouth:

But at the moment I'm in "kicking my own ass" mode. I still plan to do college full-time come August, so I'd have had to find a part-time, barely-out-of-minimum-wage job eventually, but I really miss that nice Guitar Center money right now.

it's kinda difficult to really get too worked up about your insults. Now being a loser is fine, if you're into that sort of thing, but really, you gotta bring something to the game.

Hey, stoner, you know it's better to get the job first and then sit around in your freetime and bake the day away, right? Cuz there's really nothing like taking heat from a hopeless grifter.

[laughs]

Made you look.

Bitch.

"Good lord you guys suck"
Betsy's words while watching Pat
Give Ace his man-love

Ace humor genius
Many original posts
I lie like a rug.

oh, cc, we're just getting warmed up.

"the dearth of good Mormon choral music"

wow. your site is like one extended "I'm a huge fucking dork" confessional.

But we won't hit it all at once

Pristine Sparkle slag
Shows us her spotless knickers
So what, yeastbag?

Monty, what the fuck are you laughing at dickweed. Your date to the prom was inflatable, you o-faced, plastic doll fucker!

As for you hobgoblin, Neil Diamond fucked your mom in the ass and you were the result - a grape-sized hemorrhoid, plucked from your mother's hairy and distended asshole. You've since withered into a pathetic raisin which, like your California bretheren, is no longer amusing. (alright, so I laughed out loud at what you wrote. You can still fuck off.)

Good comeback by Bill
Mom's ankles attack to laugh
Bill might have The Gay.

tinkerbelle - You don't have to lie. We all know you're still trying to blow Fat Kid. As soon as you find his pecker, which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he was 9 months old, let the 'blowing' begin. You do remember how, don't you? Or do you need a hair mousse bottle to jog that so out-of-shape memory of yours?

One time I had to sit through two whole days of "gender and race issues in the workplace", taught by some stick-figure lefty chick with a moustache that would have made V.I. Lenin green with envy. I had to sit in "encounter groups" with broad-in-the-beam civil-service lifer women who favored stretch-pants and Wal Mart blouses that could have been used for the spinnaker on a racing yacht. I had to listen to some dippy "poet" talk about how the "feminine side" of the human race was the right and natural side, and how us men were the root cause of all harm and conflict in the world. By the end of the second day, I was glaze-eyed from a combination of boredom, submerged rage, and a headache from the stench of B.O. and old-lady perfume.

And that was still more interesting that reading ccwbass's feculent comment-turds.

There once was a man named Ace
Who ran an amicable place
When he threw up a post
For some insults and boasts
The truth about how fucking pathetic the people who read his site are was confirmed.

Hey compos, you ol' donkey porker, what species do you fancy this week?

Monty likes girls snot
Picking his own nose has lead
To scratching his brain.

ccwbass - your parents must be siblings. But don't worry, brains aren't everything. In your case, they're nothing. Now take your fucktard self back to the sandbox and remember to do your best to remove the cat hairs before you eat the turds.

TGIF

Leaving work early
So have fun with your insults
You pathetic fucks

compos:

I was going to say something quite cutting, but given the terrible burden nature has already put upon you -- the hunchback, the bad teeth, the B.O., the psoriasis, the spastic colon condition, the flatus gigantus, the stutter, the lisp, the harelip -- I just couldn't bear to pile on. You are more to be pitied than hated.

But I hate you anyway, and everything you stand for.

C Bass is whining
about losing his old job
suck it up, buddy

I must have no life
Because I come to a blog
To get insulted

brak wrote: "Leaving work early..."

Work-release is a bitch aint it? See you Monday!

BrewFan - Holstein a.k.a. Grandma BrewFan.

BrewFan's grandmother
makes me dairy cow craaazy
tits down to the ground

With guitar in hand
Sang outside a girl's window
Slublog great big dork.

Is Monty stupid
or is he possessed by a
fucking retard ghost?

When time came to share
Brass could only come up with
Tale about crap band

compos, I have a message from grandma. She said to tell goodbye; size does matter.

What kind of fucking shit is this?!

Comment Submission Error
Your comment submission failed for the following reasons:

Your comment could not be submitted due to questionable content: h.a.n.d.j.o.b

(of course, the word hj was spelled out correctly and I got dinged for it! Again I say WHAT THE FUCK?!)

Laugh out fucking loud!

Over the phone dump
On birthday to make it worse
Slu's life was very sad.

Yeah, LD, and trim that monster while you're at it. It looks like Epstein from Welcome Back, Kotter is giving you head.

Sponge(not)worthy, Epstein must have joined the military.

Stop looking at your mom's cootch, it's creeping her out.

(I suck at this)

compos:

Hey, you can't use Rosie the Artillery Balloon O'D's last name either or the filter barfs. That's pretty funny when you think about it: Rosie's last name is considered unacceptable filth!

Very sad is Brass
Last post broke the haiku rules
Will flagellate self.

...you rotten bastard.

Brass,

Those were amusing
But alas, I find myself
Out of insults now

Where the hell is that retard Michael? Too busy trying to explore cedarford's squeakhole?

Compos mentis says
Things without regard or thought
Could be retarded.

She sucks at haiku
Tinkerbelle has stated this
Sucks cock much better.

Time to go for now you fuckwits.

Before I go, I'd just like to say that there are times when I'd like to see things from your points of view. I simply cannot get my head that far up my ass.

Eat me raw you intellectual, asexual amoebas!

Ace likes dork metal
compos mentis poops his pants
RWS avoids this thread

Where the hell is Ace?
Probably watching Rosie
And masturbating

I think Hob was right. There just doesn't seem to be as much bile in this flame war thread as there was in the first. Maybe it's the weather; it's a beautiful day, and I really can't get too worked up about crapping on anyone right now.

OK, guess who this is:

I was married to Dusty; have I mentioned that I used to be married to Dusty; even though this thread has nothing whatsoever to do with Dusty, let me just say that I was married to her......and on and on....

utron...wait until this evening, after everyone's had a few drinks. Things are gonna get ugly then, I'm sure.

Ace is just lazy
with his lame flame haiku day.
You all suck big time.

I must admit to writing with a heavy heart after reading this:

"It was unbearable. There were embarrassingly juvenile cut-downs everywhere I looked. The few comments that were placed in the right thread were a grotesquely mangled mish-mash haiku etiquette violations, and yet it seemed no one cared enough to do anything."

These were the words of Ace, of the Ace of Spades HQ.

But who is ultimately to blame for these violations? As the name would imply, Ace himself is responsible for the editorial content of his famed blog, and as proprietor he has a responsibility to set an example for his readers, yet he has admitted to writing pseudo-haiku himself in similar threads.

I am always loathe to mix metaphors, but my belief is that if you cut off the head of the snake, the dominoes will begin to fall.

But alas, I predict that a few commenters will be admonished, held up to public ridicule, and possibly even banned.

Ace, in the meantime, will continue to act with impunity. *sigh*

"Ace is just lazy
with his lame flame haiku day.
You all suck big time."

Hey, did I not post like mad through the morning?

Sheesh!

"I must have no life
Because I come to a blog
To get insulted"

Anybody besides me doubting that?

Maybe not to your face, Champ. But trust me, it's going on all the time.

Ace tries to insult
But he cannot write haiku
Ha. What a loser.

Another salvo from Ace. I must admit, this is becoming tiresome. This time, he attacks readers who says that his haiku thread "sucks," but does not address the underlying problem; a lack of leadership at his very own blog.

Interesting. As I was writing this post I received the following e-mail (candidate for e-mail of the day):

"Please get back to talking about the lack of leadership at Ace's blog.

Dear reader, this post is for you.

Much talk of man-meat
COBB gobblin', not hobgoblin;
Look back during sex?

Integrity Kick

After all that shit
you guys put on the dork thread
this is all you got?

Ace of Spades HQ
Losers post funny insults
But where has Ace gone?

Someone suggested
He's pounding himsel ragged
Watching Rosanne's show.

I think he's outside
Lurking by the Middle School
Watching the young boys.

Or perhaps he's back
inside, trying to call his
former catamite.

Ace remembers well
when his sqeakhole was still tight
not big like Franken's

Now that Ace and Al
Live together they enjoy
two fists in each hole.

Ace has learned to say,
"I'm good enough," while Franken
pounds him once again.

It's touché. Moron.
===================

LOLOLOLOLOL....

touche rhymes with douche....

too funny

Visiting this site is like stepping into a bathroom stall and being able to tell what some asshole ate for dinner last night. Thanks for the leftovers, but I think I'll take my business elsewhere.

Incidentally, that's also what it's like to be compos's launderer.

Whereas with your own asshole, Comish, I'm guessing the unwelcome information would be not so much what came out of it as who went into it...

My votes:

Best story teller: compost mentis

Best jab: Monty

... Crappy, low-rent, white-trash plastic high-tops that only borderline-deviant people would even consider wearing. Your sophomoric mangling of my name is something I would expect of a slightly retarded second-grader with abandonment issues...and really crappy shoes.

Your entire pathetic waste of a life comes down to your disappointment with your sub-par footwear as a child. ...

:-)

E-MAIL OF THE DAY: "Are you really suggesting that we absolve the commenters at Ace's of any blame for what they say? They are, after all, adults."

I'm not suggesting any such thing. If you'll take the time to re-read my original thoughts on this subject, you'll see that I'm simply calling for leadership by example. I fully realize that this is a somewhat foreign concept to those who frequent AOSHQ, but at whose feet are we to place the blame?

Here's the money quote from Ace today:

Hey, did I not post like mad through the morning?

Those were amusing
But alas, I find myself
Out of insults now

No, Slublog, you were out of them before. Go back to doing whatever it is you guys up in Bangor do, like drinking coffee brandy by the pint and jacking off to pictures of girls harvesting timber.

What, nothing? Jesus, this is weak.

Be honest: All of you are doing shots of Ovaltine before you go see Star Wars, aren't you?

Andrew,

timber

Now that's funny.

Oh, goody, a flame war. Yes, this is a good plan--collecting all the Internet wannabe badasses in one thread so we can nuke it from orbit. Well, at least it's not a repost of some of the oldest email fowards known to mankind.

It could be worse, I suppose. It could be another pre-pubescent slobberfest over bbeck's tits. Lord, post one photo of actual funbags and the dorks reach critical mass, each one secretly hoping that their one-handed post will result in a clandestine IM late at night while they're downloading a Babylon 5 torrent. Did anybody else notice there was no face attached to that pic? My guess is pockmark city, or possible recognition by a pre-sex change girlfriend.

I did a quick scan of the current posts. Nice job, boys and girls! "Fuck" is such a useful word! Very sharp and cutting! I used to use it all the time to be edgy, but then I turned 13 and discovered I had hair "down there". Whoo, go you guys! The only thing more k-rad nerdcore would be to use it in haiku form, because haiku is, like Japanese and stuff; foreign, anyway, and that's better because its, you know, different, and not at all junior high-level assinine syllable counting.

The winter frog sits
At the cold, dimpled lakeside
Ride my meat pole, bitch

Yes, now I am clever and deep! Maybe I'll be mistaken as a less-ascetic Buddhist monk; the kind that does calligraphy in the morning, and yoga porn in the afternoon! Maybe bbeck will flash her jubblies at me now! This must be what winning feels like!

Hey rho, I totally agree with you about the word "fuck." I mean, I use it a lot, but the actual act of fucking has serious long-term consequences, you know what I mean?

What I'm trying to say is that I've gained a new appreciation for restraint when it comes to fucking.

What I'm also trying to say is that I just paid for your daughter's abortion.

No, Slublog, you were out of them before. Go back to doing whatever it is you guys up in Bangor do, like drinking coffee brandy by the pint and jacking off to pictures of girls harvesting timber.

Damn, that was funny.

INDC's Bill:
Need Homoerotic posts?
Bill's the go-to guy.

____________________________

for Rho:

Fucking Fucking Fuck
Fuckity Fuckity Fuck
Fuck Fuckingly Fuck

____________________________

"This must be what winning feels like"

The fact that you're not sure and that you admit it is a good first step. There must be a 12 step program for dick heads like you somewhere. One day at a time, rho.

"...but then I ... discovered I had hair "down there"."

Ok, now you're just plain making shit up.

There once was a boy named rho
Whose mom was a fat, dirty ho'
She enticed him with sweets
To lick her thigh meat
But he was better at making daddy's grow

I'll tell you what winning feels like.

Winning feels like the look on a puppy's face when it's tail is caught in a manhole cover.

Winning feels like Donkey Punching Natalie Portman.

Winning feels like hiring a hooker to serve you wife divorce papers.

And finally, winning feels like an admission from Slublog that in Maine, it's actually "pretty normal" to enter into a commom law marriage with an burly lobsterman from Washington County.

And on that note, I'm going to go get drunk while I watch Oceans 12.

If that's not flamewar fodder for you prickwhistles, I don't know what is.

Fuck you.

I thought you had to be drunk *first* to watch Oceans 12??

Wow, a sequel to a remake. Now that's time and money well spent. Retard.

Wow. Andrew knows a lot about relationships with lobster fishermen from Maine. Is there anything you're not telling us?

Just a hint...if you're trying to impress one of them, I would go with the coffee brandy. Makes 'em frisky.

Andrew...are you actually from Maine?

Hi kids.
Don't get all flustered 'cause there's a girl in the room.
(yogurt jets all around)
Sheesh. I said DON'T DO THAT.

Buncha no-date retards.

Don't flatter yourself, laura. They're all a buncha homo-fags.

lauraw

Don't fret about us
We guys can handle your wit
Now, what is yogurt?

"(yogurt jets all around)"

Heh. Yeah, maybe in your dreams...

It's haiku flame wars
That rho doesn't like.
Go fuck yourself, bitch

Your haiku was lame
-it had no integrity.
God! What a failure!

A shitty workman
who disparages his tools
should shut the FUCK up.

You hate the word fuck
because, much like the haiku,
the art eludes you.

Touche, Dogstar.

(touche rhymes with douche. Never miss a chance to defile the French language.)

that ain't yogurt.

On break from Oceans 12.

Yeah, I'm from Maine. Still live here, even. And lauraw, I had a date. It's over now, and all I'm saying is that Slublog should get a head start on that paternity suit.

I know abortion isn't too popular around here, but you just don't want my filthy spawn running around your house, because trust me: my bastards will rape your dog.

This is the voice of experience, dude. They're that dirty.

I knew I shouldn't have had that second drink.

Jerk.

Don't get all flustered 'cause there's a girl in the room.

Glad you had fun Andrew.
Sorry Slublog. Give the puppies to good homes if you can.
Goodnight sweeties.

Guess it wasn't such a great day for roasting each other.
Next time.

Next time...Mwaaaaha haa haaaaa

I think I'm out...and they pull me back in!!

Nah, I'm out.
'Night Monty. You sugar-britches you.

Ocean's 12: Best movie ever.

There, I said it.

I can't get one fucking flame? I know I'm on the outside edge of the regulars, but no one could open their flapping cock holsters and stop gargling Ace's man-juice long enough to insult me once?

Fuck, I figured I'd at least rate a Battletech joke.

Oh, and I almost forgot: Slublog sucks. He sucks in a "Hey, I need a ride. I'm a French-Canadian trucker who shows my wang in a speedo at Old Orchard Beach every summer " kinda way.

Hardcore, that is.

SGT Dan:

I don't know you.

Let's keep it at that, okay?

Ocean's 12: Best movie ever.

We all know how much you like to jerk off to George Clooney movies, Andrew, but let's not say anything that we can't take back, okay?

I don't see why this movie is considered such a joke. The scene where Brad Pitt gives Matt Damon a h*ndjob was done so well, I could have sworn it was real.

And the scene where Julia Roberts l*cks Catherine Zeta-Jones' red-hot sn*tch?

Tastfully done.

Pathetic flamewar
Ace makes Andrew appear butch
Likes Megan's strap-on

What's the difference between Ace and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

How the hell did I get dragged into this...

At least I have the class to hang out at Old Orchard Beach. Andrew spends most of his time at the Oxford Speedway, trying to score a date with one of the mud-run drivers.

Slublog likes Old Orchard Beach because it's so close to Ogunquit, if you take my meaning...

Totally cool, Andrew. There's just enough random abuse floating online I was shocked when I didn't get any.

I mean you guys saw I confessed blowing off the prom to go play Battletech. That's gotta be sad to someone. Me, I won, I don't care.

SGT Dan:

He may have skipped prom
But I won't tease him too much
He knows how to shoot

Resubmitted in 5-7-5 format:

Star Wars geeks abound,
Yawning, cannot stay awake,
I want squeakhole jokes!

LD, haiku geek

This isn't haiku
Because there is no kigo
It's really senryu

Childlike listening
Intriguing emanations
From gurgling sphincters

From hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!

My cock and two balls-
which of these do you all crave?
Well, duh, all of them.

Shit, that was me.

Division pistol championships are Monday, wish me luck.

so, Andrew's on here
he must have gotten tired
of fucking children

Ace, goodwill called back
they won't accept your T-shirts
no one will wear them

that’s cool, SGT Dan
I didn't know Laser Tag
Have championships

Where the hell is that retard Michael? Too busy trying to explore cedarford's squeakhole?

Well, I was in Kansas City for my godson's wedding and missed this thread. Driving from the Crown Center to the wedding in a northern suburb, I crossed the Missouri River and noticed several river barges. This reminded me of Lipstick Dynamite, and I took my eyes of the road for a moment to look at my wife's feet. I complimented her for these small, feminine, fashionably-clad appendages. Thank You, Lord, that I am not wed to a Sasquatch.

It could be worse, I suppose. It could be another pre-pubescent slobberfest over bbeck's tits.

Um, Ace, having missed this thread I was actually kinda hoping that a slobberfest over bbeck's tits would be next.

Michael has godson
Old enough to be married,
He is an old fart.

Long, narrow, high-arched,
My feet inspire poems,
Worship them, peons.

Uriah as Batman
With LD's wrestler girlfriends
Waits for his spanking

Wrestler chicks say fine
Michael's wife puts small foot down
Batman slinks away

Smallfoot is angry
Dumps pasta before Batman
Good-night, wrestler girls

*Batman must leave now to repair damage from too much blogging*

HEY, don't pull this crap when I'm out of town at an SCA event. I hate playing catch-up.

Monty, did I say Buckley was cool? I thought I said getting his autograph was cool. I don't remember. Either way, with those pasty vein-coated thighs that flap in the wind like a pair of Israeli flags, you could only dream of being as sexy as Bill Buckley...and that's sort of sad.

And HELLO, Rho...

Did anybody else notice there was no face attached to [bbeck's] pic? My guess is pockmark city, or possible recognition by a pre-sex change girlfriend.

Guess again, Greek Alphabet Boy...

http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/224/224604/folders/202121/1548035bbeck.jpg

Eat it, Letterman...or is there something that follows the Rho in your name? I'm guessing it's "ussy."

And really, everybody, you all SUCK at this. You couldn't start a gas grill with these flames. Ace is going to have a hard time finding any to favorably list. And speaking of lists...

THINGS MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN BEING ENTERTAINED BY THIS THREAD

-- Tom Cruise is not gay

-- James Bond is not straight

-- Rosie O'Donell is not fat

-- Cedarford is not a Nazi douchebag

-- JeffB is not a hermaphrodite

-- Hillary Clinton is not a dried-up crusty old harpy

-- VonKreedom is not dating an ex-con

-- Karol will stop *itch slapping her co-host during radio commercials

-- Ace will collect the money from his t-shirt sales

Later,
bbeck

Next time, maybe this should happen sometime other than Friday. Yes, we're all uber-geeks, but even us uber-geeks have to fuck Ace's mom sometime.