Just wanted to be the first to say this is ancient...but only by six or eight months, so you're getting much better.

Caveat emptor, and any fool who'd fall for this obvious scam deserves to lose their money.

(Sorry ACE, but its true!)

Damn you Scott. He was convicted today.

Dang it -- I guess that's obvious since someone's pleading effin' guilty. Still love the POB take-off.

Yes, damn you Scott.

Sheesh.

It's not like I'm mentioning we just put men on the moon or anything.

Some of you guys have heard this story; most haven't. I read a lot of news, and it's news to me, so I have to imagine it's news to someone out there, too.

Yes, we're still running on cooter fumes.

Okay, I'm not a prude, but can we cool it on the "cooter fumes"?

Is that how O'Brien talked??? OMG! I really question this man's common sense. Whos is stupid enough to leave messages like that?

ACE ISN'T A PRUDE??????

The guys get shares. That's just the fucking way it is.

Yes, damn you Scott.

Come on, Ace. Scott made that comment at 3:38, and you didn't respond until 3:41. It was old news by then.

Cheesch ACE I got that from this website!

You're such a pooter somtimes!

(another expression I got straight from the ACE)

The worst thing the Internet has done is convince all the marketroids out there that we're legions of gullible dorks fresh of the AOL client install, ready and willing to unlimber our wallets for HERBAL VIAGRA and other nonsense.

Lots of these scams have pedigrees predating the Internet, though. The Nigerian e-mail scam is just a refinement of an even older mail scam.

These "fake wrong-number" scams have been given a boost by modern autodialer technology and computerized client lists, but it's still not much different than the old "clean your carpet for free" or "we'll use your house as the aluminum siding show house" scams. There have always been thousands of ways to separate a gullible sucker from his money. The Internet just makes the whole process much faster and more modern.

They oughta change that annoying AOL greeting to, "You got screwed!"

I read tons of pooter jokes here, but mention cooter jokes and nooooooo!

You are feeding into the same stereotypes that created the denial of the P-Day celebrations and to quote the movie Network:

We're as mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore!

pooter and cooter:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. So saith the Preacher.

This includes cooter jokes. There will come a time when ace posts another cootch story, and you can unlimber the "cooter fumes" thing to the amusement of all; until then, give it a rest.

It's the fumes part I object to. There's a fine line between playfully bawdy and graphically explicit, and I try not to cross it.

So, just calm down on it, okay?

Thanks for the advice Monty. (Its from Eclesiates.)

(PS was gonna leave it at that anyway)

ace, I'm not objecting to your boundaries, the term isn't all that funny.

but how is the word "fumes" graphically explicit in this context? I personally don't get too aroused by the idea of fumes, nor do I thing the word accurately portrays a physical event/material

Just wonderin'.

are you fucking kidding me?

Is "queef" verboten? Or...?

Allah:

If ace calls you on it, you can claim it was a typo.

"There's a fine line between playfully bawdy and graphically explicit, and I try not to cross it."

No wonder you keep your identity a secret...you're LAURA BUSH!

Love your stuff.

ACE you can be kind of unpredictable and mercurial about your fine line, now maybe there's a pattern but it seems Monty had it right:

To everything turn, turn, turn,
there is a season, turn, turn, turn
and a time for every purpose under heaven.

A time to make cooter jokes, a time to stop,
A time for the ACE to get bothered, a time to stop,
A time to make cooter jokes, a time to wait,
A time to repeat cooter jokes, I swear it's not too late.

(Just being a pooter)

I really have trouble understanding why you guys have trouble understanding the difference between just saying "pooter" and dropping in a bit of slang that wouldn't be welcome in any magazine more reserved than Hustler.

RWS, I'm not sure, but I think a guy who is lonely with a capital "h" if you know what I mean and think you do, and happens to be coked out of his mind at that particular moment,

he might be stupid enough to leave messages like that.

I really have trouble understanding why you guys have trouble understanding the difference between just saying "pooter" and dropping in a bit of slang that wouldn't be welcome in any magazine more reserved than Hustler.

UPDATE: Your spam filter blocks out Rosie's last name - lmfao

I feel compelled to defend Pat O here, and not just because I'm drunk in the middle of the day. Sometimes, the only thing you can say about a woman is that she's fuckin' hot. Check out the bunny in Say Anything's new ad; what is there to say? She's not really "beautiful;" she's certainly "sexy," but that's a bit archaic. The only truly appropriate description of her is that she's "fuckin' hot."

Call it horniness if you like. The fact is, Pat O'Brien is the poet of the masses.

Just pulling your pooter ACE.

And no Dave in Texas, we're not coked out of our minds. We finished the last eightball and Wild Turkey enema a half hour ago. But you sound as if you need some.

Allah, did you mean the new dusty girl? B/c she's a brown-bagger for sure...

I'm talking about the Say Anything girl. Check Goldstein's site.

"Pat O'Brien is the poet of the masses."

Ok, Allah, you have just depressed me for the week. THANKS!!!

Touche. Kinda odd how bloggers buy advertising space on other blogs.

P&C, you misunderstood me. I was answering RWS' question about how somebody (like Pat O'B) could be so stupid as to leave recorded messages like the ones he did.

I could have been more precise, sorry for the confusion.

Dave in Texas - And we couldn't be higher!

Dave, You are right. I had not taken that into consideration.

I think the Dr. Phil interview with him will be interesting. I don't watch Dr. Phil , but I have seen him before of course. He can be pretty brutal. I wonder if he will say "Are you an idiot????' or "So... mindless &, lovelesss sex and drugs, hows that working out for ya?"

I feel compelled to defend Pat O here.

"As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words."

So saith the Preacher (Ecc. 5:3).

Pat shoulda tried Song of Solomon 2:2

Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the maidens.

I mean, how's that gonna get you into trouble? Even if you leave it in voice mail.

"So... mindless & lovelesss sex and drugs, hows that working out for ya?"

Trouble is... Pat O'Brien wouldn't be able to give an honest answer.

No one's allowed to give an honest answer to that one.

Even the guitarist from Motely Crue is now whining about how awful his days on the road really were.

[Okay, that probably has more to do with the drugs than the mindless & loveless sex.]

Even the guitarist from Motely Crue is now whining about how awful his days on the road really were.

Well, yeah. As the ugly one, Mick had to settle for Vince, Tommy, and Nikki's leftovers. Must have been almost as bad as being the ugly guy in Duran Duran.