That album puts me to sleep every time.

This sounded so ineffably lame-assed that I honestly thought it was a joke, the kind of ultra-cool humor that some of us Neanderthals just don’t get. But it turns out the Mobe was talking to Planet Out, a gay mag, so presumably he thought this drivel would meet with the readers’ approval.

Slightly OT: if you follow the links, you can also find Moby’s thoughts on the war in Iraq. Here’s just a bit of the opening, with Moby’s own spelling and punctuation:

it goes without saying that i, like most sane people, find iraq's actions over the last 20 years to be pretty reprehensible.
using chemical and biological weapons on iranians and kurds and sunni's (is it sunni's? or shiites? i forget, oops). burning the oil fields in kuwait. attacking israel with scuds. and so on.
but i'm actually kind of impressed by iraq's patience right now...

I’d suggest that Moby and Maggie Gyllenhaal might make a lovely couple, but in all fairness I doubt that Ms. Gyllenhaal would want to get involved with anyone this fuckin’ stupid.

Ultron,

I read that quote three times, and it is still monkey jabber. I mean, I understand the individual words fine, but when they are put in that particular order they turn into nonsensical, acid-trip Esperanto.

Cripes! I'm beginning to think there may be something to those stories about aliens from outer space after all.

As Moby himself said: "We are all made of stars".

I guess he's hoping his son gets made up of Judy Garland, Richard Simmons, and Tom "Is he or Isn't he" Cruise.

Soy milk makes you gay?! Fuck, no wonder I bought that pink shirt.

I don't get it, is he really that stupid? Iranians or shiites, but he is commenting on fucking world affairs like hes the next best thing to Madeline Half-Bright? And soy milk doesn't make you gay, this dumbass had to be joking. Im serious, no one can be that fucking stupid and still remember to close his mouth in the shower.

Isn't there a Monty Python skit like that, where the son wants to be a coal miner?

Seriously, he wants his own genes to become extinct?

Maybe he should head that off at the pass a little sooner. Snip snip.

Great skit, Master. It's basically a D. H. Lawrence story turned upside down. In the original, the dad is the coal-miner while the son is the poet.

I've got to admit, if I were Moby's kid then going gay might look pretty attractive. It would let me escape that "big dumb hetero meathead" stereotype exemplified by my dad...

Ok, let me get this straight (heh).
Moby wants his son to be gay so he won't be like his father who is thinking about having kids thus a breeder thus a " dumb hetero meathead".
I'm sooo confused...

I thought soy milk at a young age caused life-threatening peanut allergies, not the gay.

You want a good laugh? Go read his journal entries for November 2004. The election entries and talk of making a new country out of new york or joining canada.

Forget Moby Dick, this guy is Moby Twat

soy "milk" is the debbill.

i don't know, but it does have lots of "phytoestr9ogens" which fuck up your thyroid, cause large boobies in younger and younger girls (sooooo disturbing), and feminize boys. So yeah, I'd say Moby's been mainlining the shit for years now. Doubt you could make a case for teh ghey from soy, but it's probably not too far from the truth. And the real thing is, Moby believes it.

I wonder if Bill is really Moby? (ooops, wrong thread)

Also, I'm not being "cool," I just really haven't heard any of his "music" (as I understand it to be called). Besides it being "techno" what's it sound like?

There are studies which state that excess soy during pregnancy causes an decrease in testosterone within the mother. This decrease can result in all kinds of abnormal conditions, such as deformed genitals etc.

Might explain a few things about Ace...

http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/food/soy_story.html

Hob, listening to Moby's music is like being immersed in a soothing bath of lukewarm soy milk.

Seriously, you don't want to listen to the stuff. Ace is wrong about Moby's albums turning you gay; that's just an old wives' tale. But I'm pretty sure his music makes you sterile.

utron,

is it like the "atmospheric" stylings of Yanni?

I thought the argument was gays are born, not made. Isn't he debunking that argument by stating he was going to make his son gay. That couldn't have gone over well with the audience he was targeting. Which is it, nature or nurture?

p.s. i like yaz..reminds me of my youth. upstairs at eric's...i think i broke the tape from playing it so much.

i stand alone and watch the clock
i only wait for it to stop
and in the room locked up inside me
the cutout magazines remind me
i sit and wait alone in my room

Forget the soymilk, Moby should just use Arianna Huffington as his "brood mare".

She has a great track reord.

How much you wanna bet that "Not Of My Loins" is already a title of a TV movie on the WE channel???

Probably different content, I admit, but the title. I bet they have it.

Sure Genevieve is cute now, but in 20 years? I dunno...

someone,

are you looking at her 20 years from now?

No.

So enjoy the juggs. Plus, that girl parties. I have dutifully sat through TS with the wife (when genevive was on) and admired the, um, style of both her and paige.

alas, both are gone from TS, so now I can leave the room when my wife has it on.

Bravo Ace!

I can actually see this scenario played out best as an off-broadway musical.

Moby can be played by Craig T Nelson while Chris is played by Ice Cube.

It's a hit I tell ya!

Make them gay? I thought gay people were born that way - do you mean they have choice?

Moby's gonna end up blowing the cover off the whole "born gay" argument if he keeps on yappin about the secret underground soy milk ploy we in The Community have been employing to convert men the world over to our side.

The first rule of Gay Club is... there is no Gay Club.

The second rule however... is if there WAS a Gay Club (which there isn't... see #1) soy milk is not to be used to "convert". Streisand albums work much better.

The notion of making someone gay is directly contrary to the PC concept of homosexuality, so for Moby to be talking to a gay publication about turning his son gay is all the more hilarious.

Of course, he was talking about doing it by having the mother drink soy milk while she was pregnant, so technically he would be making the child be born gay. I don't know. Digging through the layers of stupid on this story is like peeling an onion.

Behold... the power of soy.

Does this mean if I keep drinking lager I'll like 'pooter?

If soy milk turns you one way, somethin's gotta turn you back.

Steak. lots of steak, Chad. Bloody and well salted. And kiaser tubers.

Nothin better than some fine woman lovin after a good steak n Idaho turdmuffins.

and checking out today's Page 3 girl from the Sun.

Wow

That'll turn a blind man to sight.

Well Hob. Summer is almost upon us and that means a lot of grillin'. With any luck I'll be in the practice of "woman-lovin'" by mid-August.

Of course.... soy products will also be in season and prices on them will drop too....

... shit. I was really lookin' forward to being a meathead too.

Drink that lager from huge flagons, Chad-- or better yet, from a big horn-- and it'll make you like a Viking.

hobgoblin,

Thanks for the tip.

Seriously.

Lager from horns, bloody salty steak, and today's copy of the Sun....

This is shapin' up to be more work than I thought.

Whoa... hold up. Does this mean I have to stop listening to Britney and start actually looking at her?

Chad,

no one said being a manly man was easy

You think MOBY works hard at being a wuss?

No. He just lays back and takes his wussiness. Like a girl.

ace, no prob. I was amazed as well. She's got a big, um, future ahead of her.

Sorry Hob. I'll drink the lager, eat the steak, root for the Eagles, play pool, spit, fart, and belch...

But poo-babies are my thing.

I appreciate the effort though. You're a stand-up guy.

to each their own, brother. to each their own. it takes all kinds.

"You're a stand-up guy."

ain't that the truth?

lol

Poo-babies? With little corn eyes?

Hoo-boy.

Hey, where the link to The Sun? It's a picture, for God's sake. It won't get worn out for our using it like your Blow-Up Belinda did at Rikers.

Moby has managed to simultaneously insult homosexuals, heterosexuals, and soy milk drinkers. What an annoying jerk. Unfortunately, I do kinduv like some of his music. Oh well...

sponge,

you can find page3.com. it's not that difficult. I'm not gonna link to NSFW material on ace's w/o his OK.

and on the opposite end of the psectrum from the Moby story, we have girls taking testosterone to look "toned"

We're becoming a nation of androgyne pussies, I tell ya. Soy-milk men and sterioded women.

How fucked up can we get?

Just another fucked up celebrity kid brought to you by the PC crowd.

I can understand Moby not wanting his son to be like him, I mean if M&M can beat the shit outta ya, I'd want my son to be 'different' too. Maybe he thinks his son will be Billy Mays "bear" gay as opposed to Moby gay.

Lager? LAGER?! Lager-n-lime will turn you to the 'dark side' faster than season tickets to the local manicurist. Learn to hold your Guinness, mate.

That's all I needed, goblin. Thanks!

I'm a vegetarian. One thing that annoys me is all the stupid stereotypes about vegetarians: people assume we're all effeminate radical leftists. Now, that may describe me to a tee, I don't know, but it certainly doesn't describe all vegetarians.

I believe that Moby is a vegetarian. If so, good for him, but it just makes it all the more annoying to me that he's promoting such stereotypes.

Why, oh why, can't artists just STFU and make their art?

SJKevin.

Hitler was a vegetarian.

; )

Thread Over!

Called on a (jest) Godwin by Brewski. But we weren't arguing about anything. Does that mean I still lose?

Hitler and Moby. Yeah, I'm in great company!

Actually, Hitler wasn't really a vegetarian. He tried to avoid eating much meat, for his health. But he did eat some. Maybe if he'd gotten accepted to art school and given up meat completely, he'd have devoted his energies to turning his kids gay rather than to committing genocide and whatnot.

http://www.veg.ca/newsletr/mayjun96/hitler.html

hobgoblin:
I think it means we all lose.

Yeahp, just kiddin'. Carry on :)

Dave -

I never said anything about lime. And I can hold my Guinness with the best of 'em. But lets not be putting lager on par with those pink fruity cosmos the swishies like to sip on.

"really sharp, interesting, smart gay son than some big dumb hetero meathead."

When my ex-wife and I moved to Yorkville in NYC, we moved into a gay building, and we held all the positive stereotypes about gays now currently fasionable on TV. Were we in for shock! Except to say that they're more prone to promiscuity, sexually transmitted diseases, drug and alcohol addiction, relationship violence, psychological problems, lonlieness, insecurity and poverty than straight people are, gays are no different than anyone else in general, i.e., they are no more likely to be "really sharp, interesting, and smart" than anyone else. The stereotypes we had arrived with; that they were all a bunch of bright, arty, clever, funny, ebullient Oscar Wilds were proven to us over and over again for an entire year to be completely and utterly untrue!

In accepting these very untrue stereytypes as truth, Moby has not only proven his total ignorance about gays, but has shown himself to be a boob who is incabable of thinking beyond the boob tube; a buffon who can't think for himself and make critical judgments based upon things other than the caracritures of gays presented to us by the Liberal Media, a fool, and a dupe.

What a whopping asshole!

Hopefully he won't reproduce.

It pains me to say this to some degree, but I agree with you Maniac.

Cripes! I'm beginning to think there may be something to those stories about aliens from outer space after all.

Posted by Jenny at April 26, 2005 12:13 PM

Yikes! Jenny is right, when I lived in the gay bldg for a year I can remember wondering why, they thought no one was looking, these black frog-like vertical eyelids would close vertically, as if to moisten their eyes in this dry earth atmoshpere

(Much the same way I once saw Barney Frank doing).

Chad,

Indeed, why can't more gay guys be manly about it? I mean, shit, you're boffing another dude. no need to be a fucking priss about it.

The really "girly" gay guys stand out, whereas the "manly" gay guys don't, because you probably just assume they're straight.

Chad

I know other reasonable gays (and former gays) that agree too. As a matter of fact, to our great surprise, when we lived among gays for a year, we found that (much as they fed them) gays resented these stereotypes and said that we thought of them as "nellies" and "specamiens" when they were a group of disparate individuals like anyone else.

I applaud your truthfulness and forthrightness, for the Truth connects us with the world and each other, while lies disconnect us from the world, and ultimately, from each other.

probably right, Kevin, probably right.

For me, at least, sure the acts are a sin, but what do I care? Not my sin. It's the general weakening of the notions of manhood that are so distasteful.

Like the Alexander movire (only saw previews/read reviews). The Conqueror of the Known World wasn't some mincing, simpering queero. He conquered NATIONS. If he nailed a dude, he did it like a Viking.

And he didn't drink no cosmoes, neither.

I honestly think most gays feel the need to be blatant about it. I knew a guy who was straight as can be before he came out and is now one of the bigger queens I know, complete with lisp.... I don't understand it. It's almost as if they feel they need to feed into the gay stereotypes to be gay. But I guess for people who have to define themselves based on their sexuality alone, what do you expect.

Chad

BTW - It was only the Liberal gays who had alien frog lids, and I've seen Bill and Hillary do it too.

OK, I am afraid that the beer and steak alone do not do it. My dad was a butcher, so my fridge is full of steak. I like my steak rare, and only good beer. Sam Adams, maybe some some miller from time to time. Still gay here, but I am not a pussy. Maybe the beer and steak just prevents you from turning into a big pussy boy (You become a meathead jerk) but you retain the desire for that sweet man-gina.

I also am lisp-free. There could be something to this whole steak and beer nonsense. I wouldn't touch soy milk with borrowes lips.

CHAD

I've aways thought it betrayed a certain sense of insecurity about their sexuality, sort of like they were bragging to cover up an ambivelance they felt about it. And to be gay means automatic acceptance to, and becoming an instant member of, the "Liberal Tribe" even including a membership in the exclusive Preferential Treatment Group by Liberals, and being "fashionably gay."

hobgoblin:

As to the sinfulness of homosexuality, I don't agree, but fair enough. I will point one thing out, though: Jesus spent a lot of time condemning various sins, as well as urging us to be merciful, and he never saw fit to mention the sin of homosexuality. That doesn't mean it is or is not a sin, but it suggests where our moral priorities should lie.

As to the notion of manhood, I really don't like what's happening to our concept of masculinity. Society has been assaulting maleness and fatherhood for decades now, and it's costing us dearly. That doesn't mean the past was great: old stereotypes of unfeeling violent men are equally unhealthy. But I definitely agree that we need to restore healthy masculinity to its proper role in our society; it is an admirable trait which I associate with courage, honor, love, and strength.

Not sure if Ace's site is ready for the phrase "man-gina", but ummm... thanks for introducing it to the lexicon here Marty.

My general feeling on the gay population would fall somewhere between indifference and disgust. For that, I get the "self-loathing" label from the Lefty fuck-sticks all the time. But, truth be told, I have 7 or 8 straight friends for every gay one. I just can't associate with them. And I'm fine with that. I would honestly rather spend a night at a pub drinking beer, watching football with friends than dancing and doing crystal meth at a club with half naked men parading around like Cher.

Call me kookie....

Chad:
"Not sure if Ace's site is ready for the phrase ..."

To be honest, it strikes me as a term that could have been invented here. Make that should have been.

Good to hear from you on this thread, Marty!

For the record, I am not of the opinion that all gay men are lager-swilling, Kennedy-voting sissies. Obviously you're not; you ventured into a thread which was bound to bring out the un-PC gay jokes. Need to get that out of the way before the daily flame war gets going...

Also, apologies to the lagermeisters in here. Lager is forgivable if it is being used, in moderation, to wash down a hardcore curry. Barely.

You know, I think I could have gone my whole life w/o hearing the phrase " sweet man-gina" and died happy.

Dave -

I'm sorry I ever brought up lager. I didn't expect it to become more controversial than the actual intent of this post.

I do like Yuengling. I also like Guinness. When times are tight, I go with Bud.

... just for the record.

Ace, thanks for the link.
David

carin:
"You know, I think I could have gone my whole life w/o..."

You know, I think the exact same thing to myself almost every time I read this web site, whatever the subject matter is. :)

this ain't the first time mangina (or mantang) has been used here, by a long shot. Most recently the flamewar thread.

I should know, I used the term in a rather cutting remark, I believe.

Anyway, Chad and Marty, you guys give me hope that not all gays are of the much-despised "decorator with a small dog" stereotype. I respect that. Maybe you can get your brothers to "butch up" a bit.

B/c in the final analysis, it's not the gay sex thing that's so bad (since we straight guys never have to see it), its the lisping, prancing gayness that so many gay dudes feel is somehow their birthright and identity that is intolerable. Is it so wrong to loathe a horrible, worn-out stereotype?

And see, Chad, the steaks are starting to work on Marty, he just doesn't know it yet.

Soon, he'll be looking at bbeck's tits and wondering what they feel like.

It's not wrong to loathe Hob, although that's a strong word, and I do have some friends that have some more feminine qualities than most guys do. But I feel your pain.

And honestly (this was brought up earlier in the thread) the "butch" gays blend in, so don't think that there are so few out there. I know there are other guys out there (hopefully, please God) that are gay and masculine, but... they don't show it or are still in the closet. So any impression people get about gays are from those yancing about in leather thongs and body glitter. The ones that stand out.

Eventually these people will become more... I don't want to say vocal, but more present I guess. That's my hope anyway.

If only Ace would start drinking soy milk....

Hob -

Just outta' curiosity, do you have any gay friends or acquaintences?

(And no... I'm not asking you out on a man-date.)

Just curious.

My wife (g-f at the time) had a (mincing) gay buddy, but when he hung out with us, he started mooning over my bro-in-law. Most uncomfortable.

Given the fact that I have no friends of my own, none of them are gay. Or at least out.

But I do deal relatively frequently with gay clients and colleagues. (a good number of the priest victims---i.e. my clients---end up gay) All of that is arm's length, professional stuff, though.

Cordial with a couple of self described gays over at LGF, but an internet acquaintence is even less than a passing awareness of a person in a crowd.

The gay dudes I've met over the years have by and large been OK, but I've been dealing with more than a few of the militant sort for a while in real life. It's a bit tiresome.

"yancing about in leather thongs and body glitter"

LMAO.

Never met any of them (thank God)

feminine = OK

Bobby Trendy = NOT ok

Tune in to the news coverage of this year's gay pride parade. I'm sure you won't watch it for more than 2.31 seconds, but in that time you will have seen no less than 93 "yancers".

I went last year to the one here in New York against my will and have vowed never to do it again.

I was honestly embarassed to be gay....

Thanks for answering the question. Just wondering what kind of positive/negative interaction you've had with us folk.

Geneveive, not so much. Paige Davis, WAY so much!

Solution to soy-milk problems: breast feed until you're like, oh, 13 or so.

Chad,
I agree with you on the gay pride parades, very shamefull for the most part. I have been with the same guy for like 9 years and he feels the same way. We both prefer to hang out with family and straight people. We can only stand other queers in small doses. On the subject of sweet man-gina I first heard that on the show Drawn Together on Comedy central. It gave me a bit of a chuckle. Your also on to something that there are many queers that choose to stay in the closet, primarily because they are so ashamed at how the "visible" fags present themselves. I generally don't talk about much unless someone asks, or it does truly come up in conversation. I feel no desire to inform everyone around me that I am a homo by mincing about and lisping at everything in site. I could go on and on about my gay pet peeves, but not tonight. Perhaps in another thread.

Marty -

I'm not sure if authority is given to me to do this, but I'm going to pronounce you Honorary Un-Lad.

Hobgob gave me the title and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing, so I'm just spreading the love.

(Has something to do with being a cool gay I think.)

Hmm ill ask about it in the chat