Erk!

{choking noises}

And people wonder why reality TV makes them cringe.

the "C" word is pretty vulgar and a nuclear option when applied to a female....but in this instance

Ron takes a lot of nonsense from that chick. What I wonder, though, is why that old couple hasn't died yet. The guy seemed awful close last nite.

that's bitch-slap time*

*i dont advocate violence against women, but make exceptions on a case-by-case basis

When I saw that tease last night, I almost fell off my chair. I was rooting for them because he had served the US in time of war and had been taken POW. Now, I hope they win so he can take all the money and tell that little beauty-queen b***h where she can go.

Just going to show looks are not everything.

I say to him....RUN!!!

Women are fucking bitches. The best thing that could be done for that entire stupid, ungrateful, whining, spoiled, immature and peevish sex is to give them all a damned hard slap across their silly faces.

Eh. The producers probably put her up to it. Reality TV is not always so real.

And, ace, honey, shouldn't you be out living your own love stories rather than watching someone else's on television?

Who the hell are Rob and Amber?

Megan, you'd be the perfect woman if only you weren't a lesbian.

Wait a minute-- scratch that.

You are the perfect woman.

Who the hell are Rob and Amber?

Like you don't know.

Some men will put up with an awful lot for some nice-looking nookie.
Don't blame a snake for being a snake, blame yourself for picking it up and trying to cuddle it.

and yeah, watching reality tv shows and commenting on them accomplishes the title of the post

Who the hell are Rob and Amber?

Like you don't know.

I don't watch "Prestige Dramas" or "Quirky David E. Kelley Dramadies."

That's the Rubicon I will not cross.

But reality TV... hey, I like looking at monkeys at the zoo, too. That's not gay.

"Some men will put up with an awful lot for some nice-looking nookie." ^^^^^^^

Should Be: "anything"

oink :)

I don't watch "Prestige Dramas"

Rob and Amber are ex-contestants on Survivor. They hooked up, big-time, and appear to actually be in love.

Rob basically engineered an Amber victory in Survivor All-Stars through cunning and also by sacrificing his own chances of winning. She got a million, he got a hundred grand as runner up.

They're a charming couple and I just like them. Amber's hot as shit, and Rob is an f'n' lying bastard who has fun playing the Bad Guy.

Megan,

good God, woman, YOU'RE on fuckin' fire!

You're hotter than Bob Dole's Cock in a knothole.

First I read the Sully takedown from yesterday, then the DL evisceration at Alarming News, and now this. Wow.

Maybe ace's sunken chest and bandly limbs look girlish enough for you to give him a try.

Cuz, really the leftist lezzos really aren't good enough for you.

Megan - that was one of the major sticking points regarding becoming a lesbian. Now men - they can be irritating too (don't get me wrong). But, living in a house with 8 women solidified my heterosexuality.

It's obvious Megan has more testosterone running through her veins than you do Ace. I suppose as long as you don't cry during the wedding you're not all that gay.

And I tend to agree with April on this one. Probably scripted. Doesn't make her any less of a conniving -ugly - nasty - tart.

Ace--

I don't watch the show (no, honest-- it's up against Christopher Lowell), so I have no idea who this person is you're talking about.

But, IIRC, I don't remember any Blackhawk pilot POWs paraded by Jihadis-- but I do remember the two Apache pilots who were "captured" by that farmer with the sixty-year old rifle, and then paraded around for a few days until rescue. Is that who this guy is?

Oh, and for the record: Amber "May I Buy A Vowel" Brkich is EFFING HOT. Not in the model sense of the word, but in the obtainable sense of the word, like that chick who works at the hot-dog-on-a-stick place down at the mall.

Speaking of that hot-dog-on-a-stick place down at the mall, does anyone here remember Orange Julius? Am I crazy, or did they used to have the option to put an *egg* in their smoothies, back in the day? I recall that from my childhood, but I can't be sure if it's a real memory, or Jacob's Ladder-style hallucinations from all the windowsill varnish I used to lick.

Anyways, I wish people put more eggs in beverages.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

I recant my earlier dismissal of Megan's fertile uterus.

The woman has made me reconsider my earlier views in a way only Andrew Sullivan could appreciate.

I may not be ready to change teams, but I know who I want to be mother to my little Gaylords and Gayladies.

And although I have no idea who these people are, I'm shocked and appalled that eh POW: POW: POW: in the transcript wasn't an onomonopedia of this silly bithch getting her skull caved in with a fucking rock

I'm fairly certain he was an Apache pilot rather than Blackhawk, not that it makes any difference for the point of the story.

Carin, I fully understand your sentiments. I still wonder if I should try to turn myself straight on occasion, but every time I've seen a picture of a naked man I haven't been able to stop laughing for the next half hour or so.

Anyway, even though they look utterly ridiculous, at least men are (generally speaking) honest about the important things.

(As Chris Rock observed, "I was at Ken's house" is a man's lie. A woman's lie is "It's your baby.")

Women, on the other hand, are a piece of work. A real piece of fuckin' work. Women will toy with your emotions, resent you for doing them a good turn because they don't like feeling grateful, yell at you in public just because they know you won't yell back, and a big fuckin' host of other things that indicate the gender as a whole stopped growing up around the age of 8.

Fuck them. Fuck the lot of them...

...which of course is the problem, because I'd still like to do exactly that. My wife drives me crazy. And then she looks at me in just that way, looks at me at just that angle and her smile lights up her eyes and whatever she's done to me melts away and all of a sudden I don't care anymore. Until the next time.

Sickening. Gob-smackingly vile, in fact.

Ace,

I see that you used the words "gay" and "backstory" in the same post. Did you think I wouldn't notice those codewords? Can't you go two posts without gay stereotyping?

Don't you take my shrewishness away from me!!!

Amber's hot as shit

Oh, and for the record: Amber "May I Buy A Vowel" Brkich is EFFING HOT.

I have to disagree with you two on this one. Ambuh is about as charismatic as a bowl of Instant Cream of Wheat that's been left out on the kitchen counter overnight until it becomes a dried-out, pasty brick.

Total dullsville. A complete zero.

Megan...someday I hope to be in elected office.

When that day comes, you're in charge of the Detail.

Either that, or press secretary. I would love to see your takedown of Helen Thomas.

Just checked the Amazing Race site. Sorry, but that girl isn't quite nice looking enough for Ron to take that sort of crap.

I see that you used the words "gay" and "backstory" in the same post. Did you think I wouldn't notice those codewords? Can't you go two posts without gay stereotyping?

You got me. I was clearly making some sort of nasty slam on gays, suggesting that they are overrepresented in the entertainment business.

I'm really sorry.

Next time, I'll have to workshop my posts a little bit more.

Wait, you're a man?

Some men will put up with an awful lot for some....

Just look around. :P

Ace is all man.

Trust me.

Like a Viking.

Angus-- who the fuck let you in here? What, Sullivan not replying to your fanmail anymore?

BTW, I've seen your wife. Amber's waaay hotter than your wife.

Not your mother, though.

Yes - an apache pilot not a blackhawk

Yes - you most definitely could get an egg in your orange julius. at least you could here in canada. but we're crazy for shit like that. that and gov't payola.

The word on the street is that the POW and beauty queen broke up just before the AR started to film, but decided to go on anyway. Explains a lot of the tension.

I despise Rob and that insipid twit Amber.

Rob and Amber are ex-contestants on Survivor. They hooked up, big-time, and appear to actually be in love.

I don't think sociopaths like Rob actually do feel love. And my guess would be that if he had one the million Survivor bucks, rather than Amber, the wedding would not have gone forward.

Besides, what kind of an asshole just drives past a serious looking accident involving people he knows, as Rob did a few weeks ago on the AR?

Obviously I meant "won" not "one" in my above post.

I'm typing phonetically again . . .

Women, on the other hand, are a piece of work. A real piece of fuckin' work. Women will toy with your emotions, resent you for doing them a good turn because they don't like feeling grateful, yell at you in public just because they know you won't yell back, and a big fuckin' host of other things that indicate the gender as a whole stopped growing up around the age of 8.

Fuck them. Fuck the lot of them...

It's time to restart the blog, Megan. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week.

Today.

Angus-- who the fuck let you in here? What, Sullivan not replying to your fanmail anymore?

Jeez, dude, what the hell are you talking about?

I think you have me confused with someone else. Is there another "Angus" that used to post here?

I just started using Angus as a nickname a few days or a week ago. I can change it if there's, you know, a history on this site.

Frankly, I'm not sure who to hate worse, Rob and Amber for their smug, self-righteous sense of entitlement to win survivor, or the dopey twats that followed them down the path to their own doom despite ample opportunity to be rid of the pair of them.

I hope you're kidding - even if George Soros offered me eleventy-billion dollars and a small island nation to lord over, I wouldn't waste even a single minute of my life watching those two wastes get married. Rob's just a horrible guy through and through, and Amber is such a total zero. She hasn't said or done even one remotely interesting thing in her countless hours on reality television.

Anyone that would just drive past an injury car accident involving people they know without even checking if everyone is okay... man, I'm getting hacked off just thinking about those two. Just the worst kind of people.

I don't think sociopaths like Rob actually do feel love. And my guess would be that if he had one the million Survivor bucks, rather than Amber, the wedding would not have gone forward.

What are you talking about? I can't believe I'm going to have to ban one of my longest, most cherished readers.

He's not a sociopath. I don't mean to be a jerk, but you did notice he was playing a game, right? That's like calling someone a liar for bluffing at poker.

Besides, what kind of an asshole just drives past a serious looking accident involving people he knows, as Rob did a few weeks ago on the AR?

1, Lynn and Alex had stopped.

2, You must have noticed the fair number of people gathered around. They're not out there in isolation; there are chase-vehicles (just with cameras) and medical people on standby. They were all there.

What were Rob and Amber going to do, except stand around and rubberneck, the same as Lynn and Alex?

Banned. Pah. I may never post again, after finding out that my favorite blogger actually likes vile Rob and Ambuh.

I don't think he's a sociopath because of his sneaky, underhanded tricks. That actually sort of makes him a good player (although I think CBS purposely put weak teams up against Romber, so that they'd get the mileage out of casting them). I think he's a sociopath, because of his grandiose view of himself as being some sort of a brilliant puppetmaster, not to mention his complete lack of morality.

Read this: http://home.datawest.net/esn-recovery/artcls/socio.htm and tell me that's not Rob through and through.

I think he's a sociopath, because of his grandiose view of himself as being some sort of a brilliant puppetmaster, not to mention his complete lack of morality.

Ummmm...

Ummmm...

You're not saying what I think you're saying, are you? 'Cause if so, that would make us the "puppets" in this scenario. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. Maybe it's the metaphorical hand-up-my-ass thing.

Come on, just kidding.

But sometimes I do fancy myself an E-vita, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Come on, just kidding. But sometimes I do fancy myself an E-vita, if you know what I'm sayin'.

I know. And I do.

But, to be absolutely 100% crystal f'n clear, my opposition to the hand-up-my-ass thing is non-negotiable.

Oh, come on, Finn! It's no worse than a prostate exam. Instead of one finger, it's 5.

Non. Neg. O. Tiable.

The thing to note about a really, really good looking woman, is that no matter how hot she is, somewhere, there is some guy, who is tired of her shit.

or some woman.

Carin, I fully understand your sentiments. I still wonder if I should try to turn myself straight on occasion, but every time I've seen a picture of a naked man I haven't been able to stop laughing for the next half hour or so

Well, that's why I turn the lights out first. duh.

She is a piece of work. I had to rewind it twice before I believed what i was hearing.

But Carin, they can have stubble and stuff too, and kissing someone with hair on his face would be so bizarre. Like totally yuck. And even if the lights were off I don't know if I'd be able to stop thinking about how comical all those absurd dangly bits look, and the useless nipples they're all stuck with, and I'd keep biting my lip and repeating "mustn't giggle, mustn't giggle" in my head, but pretty soon I'd be howling with laughter and that'd probably be the end of that. So you see.

"how comical all those absurd dangly bits look"

pot, meet kettle. kettle, pot.

of course they look abusrd, they're not meant for pub(l)ic display. but then how absurd is strpping a latex one to the ol' chassis?

c'mon megan, you can do it. Give ace a shot. From what I hear, you can't even see his bits (dangle much)

I have to admit, that "howling in laughter" thing is pretty hard on the ol libido.

Shaddap, Hob. I just watched some of the crappiest boxing I've ever seen in my fuckin' life and now I'm in the pissiest possible mood.

I mean this stupid bastard drops his guards when he gets hit and lets his hands hang at his sides while he does this weird gay-ass hop straight up, letting his mouth hang open, and he shakes his head like he's trying to pop his ears or something. And his opponent! Jesus! That should've been a fucking knockout, motherfucker! What the fuck were you waiting for? What the fuck were you thinking, letting him get away with that fucking shit like he thinks he's a fucking cheerleader, you worthless fucking dipshit!

grrr...

Okay, that helped. What were we talking about again?

I like fruitpies.

mmhmm.. like a Viking though.

Looks like Megan's got (to paraphrase Homer Simpson) the eye of the tiger and the mouth of the teamster!

Me likee.

On behalf of millions of non bitchy women everywhere, I'd like to say that this woman's bitchiness is not inherent to being female (think here about bitchiness prevalent among the other gender and by whom among that gender)...

I'm just saying that this woman's heinous (!) state of mind and emotional crummy place is not who and what women are.

I agree with RightWingSparkle here, the guy should take some good advice and RUN. And then figure out why he was ever even attracted to his, um, yes, bitch and change whatever the reasons were so he's not going to find himself afterward with another woman of similar bitchiness (it's a choice of selection, despite what some people try to rationalize about bad choices in coupling).

I'm thinking that he's still experiencing a bit of his self punishing feelings for having been a POW. It happens -- victims blame themselves for their expereinces, still believing, subconsciously, that their victimizers were 'right'.

Guy needs to disconnect from this woman. Not all women are like that, just as not all bitchy males are like that.

I gotta start previewing...

Typo (^^), shold read, "just as not all males are bitchy like that..."

Wow. Ron must be a Rove-grade Evil Genius, if what Kelly said is true.

Consider that in order to pull this trick off on purpose as a way to 'avoid' commitment, he'd have to:

1. Volunteer in the first place,
2. Engineer a war with Iraq,
3. Make sure his unit is sent over (not to mention activated in the first place, if it's Reserve or NG),
4. Get shot down WITHOUT GETTING KILLED,
5. Get captured WITHOUT GETTING KILLED,
6. Get rescued WITHOUT GETTING KILLED,
7. Accept (speculating here) hardship discharge.

A plan elegant in its simplicity. What could possibly go wrong?

Megan, which fight were you watching?

Damn, you even like boxing! My wife likes the bloodsports, thank God, and it made for an awesome Saturday watching the ultimate fighter marathon, but seems like you actually get into the sweet science.

Really, just give ace a shot. It probably won't be much different from a girl.

And a good laugh is a great prelude to sex.

I don't remember - it was something goofy on CSN; I was just flipping channels. They claimed it was a professional middleweight fight, but they looked like a couple of (very) amateur welterweights to me. One was white, one was black, and both sucked, if that helps narrow it down. The black guy won on points.

Anyway, if I were ever to bed a guy, it'd probably be Felix Trinidad. One of the smartest fighters I've ever seen, and pretty darn hot to boot. If he had Patrick Stewart's voice and Trey Parker's wit he'd be just about as perfect as a guy can get.