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« Radio Ace/Last Chance For Shirts | Main | Cafe Press Explains; Notes Policy Against "Hate" Products »
April 14, 2005

Son of Bitch 3: Son of a Bitch With A Vengeance

Michael "Showoff" Totten now goes into Beirut's Hezbollah district and photoblogs the crazies.

Buildings are sandbagged. Surveillance and security watchtowers are erected in front of restaurants and stores. A Lebanese-American historian based in West Beirut told me that Hezbollah is better armed and more militarily powerful than the Lebanese army. East and West Beirut are as free-wheeling as Hong Kong, but Hezbollahland is a virtually sovereign fascist police state. It is so near to downtown I can walk to it. Now that I've been there and know how close by it is, I can almost feel its breath on my neck.

If this grandstanding bastard gets a genuine media gig out of this, there is no justice.

As the brilliant Steven Glass said, it's not just the serious reporters who win Pulitzers. It's the guys who provide "color" and "humor," and frankly just make shit up out of whole cloth, who win Pulitzers too.

But they destroyed him, didn't they? They just couldn't stand to see their so-called "accurate reportage" model challenged by the innovation of "totally bullcrap made-up silly shit."

Damn them.

Are you mad at me, Chuck? Chuck?

I think Chuck wants to kill me.

(PS, if you haven't seen Shattered Glass yet, see it! It's really a very fun movie.)


posted by Ace at 10:34 AM
Comments



I wanted to see Shattered Glass in the theater, but never got a chance to. I finally caught it a few months back on HBO, and I loved it. Glass & Chuck on the Glass's really bad day was just about some of the most painful squirming I've ever sat through.

Man, Hayden Christensen sure knows how to play a sniveling little shit. Too bad he's asked to play the MOST EVIL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE.

Then again, maybe playing Glass *was* good training after all. . .

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on April 14, 2005 10:53 AM

Imagine that, going over there to help promote democracy and freedom. Who the hell does he think he is??

The nerve of that guy. I think this calls for a de-linking.

Posted by: TallDave on April 14, 2005 11:06 AM

Yeahp. Great movie. Super-squirmy. I LOVE the narrowing Clint Eastwood eyes Chuck gives when he begins to twig on that Steven hasn't merely been "duped" by his "sources."

And Hayden Christianson was quite good as the snivelling little ass-kiss. I actually sort of liked the character -- he was, at the very least, a nice guy who seemed genuinely concerned about the feelings of others -- and man, did he have a brutal couple of days there.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 11:06 AM

Actually, I'm not sure if I have him linked at all.

Maybe I'll link him so then I can announce I'm delinking him.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 11:07 AM

Hell, even Steven Zahn was good in that movie.

And of course Hank Azaria, who somehow has made the transition from goofy cartoon voice-guy to credible leading man.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 11:08 AM

he was, at the very least, a nice guy who seemed genuinely concerned about the feelings of others

Wow, did I not get that from that character. Completely unsympathetic, uber-manipulative shit to me. Really good movie, though.

Posted by: Ray Midge on April 14, 2005 11:15 AM

Eh. All niceness is sort of manipualtive when you think about it.

It's still nice.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 11:17 AM

Dittos on Shattered Glass, ace. I saw it a couple of months ago. Funny thing, though: you remember that story he wrote about the CPAC conference where all the young conservatives spent the entire weekend drinkin' and fuggin' and such like? Well, I actually read that story when it first came out and I remember thinking "oh dear, those ass clowns are making conservatives look bad by their bad behavior. They ought to not do that. Oh dear." Etc. It never occured to me to question the authenticity of the story. I was actually relieved to learn that the story was made up from beginning to end.

And by the way, not to nitpick, but the fraudulent reporter's name is Stephen (not Steven) Glass. He is now supposedly practicing law somewhere. God help his clients.

Posted by: OregonMuse on April 14, 2005 11:36 AM

I won't take anything away from Totten for making the trip - but "Now that I've been there and know how close by it is, I can almost feel its breath on my neck. "

Does he write soft porn in his free time, or maybe he was reading a bad novel on the plane. Guys are probably getting cramps in their nut sacks living close to that shit - and he feels their breath on his neck! What are they gonna do, kill him, or fuck him? Kee-rist! But then maybe its both.

Posted by: Dan on April 14, 2005 11:37 AM

A-hem. I thought the same thing, but I didn't want to be churlish.

And people would just accuse me of being jealous, which, of course, I am.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 11:44 AM

you remember that story he wrote about the CPAC conference where all the young conservatives spent the entire weekend drinkin' and fuggin' and such like? Well, I actually read that story when it first came out and I remember thinking "oh dear, those ass clowns are making conservatives look bad by their bad behavior. They ought to not do that. Oh dear." Etc. It never occured to me to question the authenticity of the story. I was actually relieved to learn that the story was made up from beginning to end.

Yeah, and let me say, I was at CPAC, and I wish that crap was going on.

I read his story on the "Church of George Herbert Walker Christ" -- about, get this, a cult that actually worshipped the Elder Bush as the second coming of Jesus -- and I have to admit, I bought it.

I found it "unbelievable," and yet I believed it.

It was, after all, the new republic, the "in-flight magazine of air force one." (Giggle.)

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 11:51 AM

ace, you really should have a totten link. he's a liberal, but not a leftist, and his site is sort of a continuous, high-brow version of some of your more, um, shall we say substantive threads

got a great "moderate" mentality in all senses of the word.

i may disagree with him about domestic policy issues, but he's a sharp guy.

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 14, 2005 12:33 PM

Uh, Hobgoblin, did you miss one of Ace's greatest takedowns ever?

Posted by: someone on April 14, 2005 12:44 PM

Fully agree on Shattered Glass. I was so fuckin' into that movie. It's like fun and sex and drugs and fuck and eat all rolled into one.

Posted by: Allah on April 14, 2005 12:48 PM

I wanted to go crazy on Chuck Lane. He's so fuckin' hohhht.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 12:59 PM

yes, someone, yes I did miss that.

and really, reading it, that was a good takedown of a poor piece, but that piece isn't indicative of all he writes.

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 14, 2005 01:10 PM

Love you too, Ace!

I agree that Shattered Glass is a great movie.

Seriously, dude, come on over and I'll buy you a beer. Beirut is on sale right now - big time. The five star hotels are only 70 bucks. No one wants to come here as a tourist, not even the rich Gulf Arabs with bodyguards. Cowards. Even in Hezbollahland nobody bothered me - but I wouldn't want to set up shop there.

Posted by: Michael J. Totten on April 14, 2005 05:33 PM

Right, Michael "Grandstanding" Totten. I'll just fly my ass to Beirut.

But... the beer's on you, right?

Seriously, invite appreciated, but it's not so simple, or cheap, to take a trip to Beirut.

Posted by: ace on April 14, 2005 05:44 PM
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