Sponsored Content
« Update on Terrorist-Shooting Video | Main | Al Qaeda Leader in Saudi Arabia Reported Killed »
June 18, 2004

Shock: A Liberal-Leaning Independent Congratulates Himself for Having the Courage to Not Be a Republican

The Great Allah tipped me to this utterly-surprising story.

Believe it or not, somewhere in the country a political independent with liberal leanings has finally said what we've all been thinking.

He's finally gotten around to congratulating himself as being wise, intelligent, and brave for not being a member of the Republican Party.

It's about time that some liberal-leaning independent somewhere had the balls to acknowledge his own intellectual and moral superiority.

It's bothered me for some time: Why aren't all of these "independents" more willing to praise themselves for their courageous non-conformism and intrepid independence?

Sure, every four years Frank Luntz holds focus-group panels where independents, largely liberal-leaning, do little else but pat each other on the back for having the tough-minded moral courage of being indecisive and vacillating.

And of course you can hardly go five or six seconds reading a liberal-leaning independent before he proudly announces he can't choose between the two major political parties, and then patiently explains why that makes him a better citizen than you could ever be.

But is this really enough? Seriously-- do we really have to wait those painful five or six seconds in between liberal-leaning independents' self-acknowlegment of superiority?

Bear in mind, when a liberal-leaning independent fails to inform me every three seconds that he's a better citizen, American, and dancer than I am, I start to forget how superior he is to me in every conceivable way.

After all, I'm someone who is a fairly-contented member of a party which roughly promotes my own political views. A moron, in other words.

My short-term memory-- not so good.

Why, oh why, do these liberal-leaning independents have to be so damnably stinting in their own self-praise?

So, Mr. Michael J. Totten has finally announced that he's a better person than me, and a better person than any of you. Sadly, this will be his only acknowledgment of this simple truth for some time. Until, like, tomorrow, at around 9:45 am.

This one declaration of the day may be enough for you.

It's not enough for me. Not by a long shot, buddy.

digg this
posted by Ace at 05:01 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Mr Aspirin Factory: "Good Morning ..."

Tonypete: "Good morning everyone. ..."

Puddleglum golfin' in Pennsyltucky: "[i]221 Northbound on I-95 into that corridor from ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Huck Follywood: "America's new unofficial anthem is "Burning Down T ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Cindy Fry: " More than $15k can be earned online by perform ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64