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June 18, 2004

Shock: A Liberal-Leaning Independent Congratulates Himself for Having the Courage to Not Be a Republican

The Great Allah tipped me to this utterly-surprising story.

Believe it or not, somewhere in the country a political independent with liberal leanings has finally said what we've all been thinking.

He's finally gotten around to congratulating himself as being wise, intelligent, and brave for not being a member of the Republican Party.

It's about time that some liberal-leaning independent somewhere had the balls to acknowledge his own intellectual and moral superiority.

It's bothered me for some time: Why aren't all of these "independents" more willing to praise themselves for their courageous non-conformism and intrepid independence?

Sure, every four years Frank Luntz holds focus-group panels where independents, largely liberal-leaning, do little else but pat each other on the back for having the tough-minded moral courage of being indecisive and vacillating.

And of course you can hardly go five or six seconds reading a liberal-leaning independent before he proudly announces he can't choose between the two major political parties, and then patiently explains why that makes him a better citizen than you could ever be.

But is this really enough? Seriously-- do we really have to wait those painful five or six seconds in between liberal-leaning independents' self-acknowlegment of superiority?

Bear in mind, when a liberal-leaning independent fails to inform me every three seconds that he's a better citizen, American, and dancer than I am, I start to forget how superior he is to me in every conceivable way.

After all, I'm someone who is a fairly-contented member of a party which roughly promotes my own political views. A moron, in other words.

My short-term memory-- not so good.

Why, oh why, do these liberal-leaning independents have to be so damnably stinting in their own self-praise?

So, Mr. Michael J. Totten has finally announced that he's a better person than me, and a better person than any of you. Sadly, this will be his only acknowledgment of this simple truth for some time. Until, like, tomorrow, at around 9:45 am.

This one declaration of the day may be enough for you.

It's not enough for me. Not by a long shot, buddy.


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posted by Ace at 05:01 PM

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