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« Mein Kampf Number One With a Bullet in Turkey | Main | Bush Has Exit Strategy... For Syria »
March 28, 2005

Zarqawi Is About To Be Captured, For the Eighty-Bazillionth Time

I'm hopeful, but obviously we've heard this song before, and it doesn't get better with repeated listenings.

That said:

Iraqi security forces have surrounded Iraq's most-wanted terrorist, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the country's interior minister announced. We have not arrested al-Zarqawi, Interior Minister Falah al-Nakib said during a news conference. He is surrounded in a certain area, and we hope for the best. This operation is ongoing.

The lack of quotation marks is from the original, which doesn't inspire confidence either. If you can't capture a direct quote in quote marks, how ya gonna capture al-Zarqawi?

Still. There it is.


posted by Ace at 11:20 PM
Comments



Well, the Al-Zarqawi reports of immenent capture still have a long way to go to match all the false reports of the WMD "smoking gun" being found back in 2003.

Posted by: Cedarford on March 28, 2005 11:50 PM

ahem...

Planet earth is a "certain area" too. I'm not getting jacked up over this sort of thing anymore

Posted by: on March 29, 2005 12:32 AM

Probably bogus. But this story looks promising:

Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi called Israelis and Palestinians "idiots" in a long unscheduled speech at an Arab summit in Algeria, which marked 60 years of the Arab League.

"The Palestinians, too, are idiots because they lost these territories in 1967. So we must admit that both are idiots," he added.

International agencies say the leaders broke out into uncontrolled laughter. Hey, who stepped on a duck?

Posted by: Saul Rosenberg on March 29, 2005 12:46 AM

Oops.

HTML fart.

Posted by: Saul on March 29, 2005 12:47 AM

I'll believe the Zarkawi story when I'm personally able to reach down and grab his balls out of his sack and run 'em through my wristrocket at the damned starlings that're nesting in the trees down by the shady creek.

Posted by: Sharkman on March 29, 2005 01:09 AM

What's a wristrocket?

I would REALLY REALLY like to see him caught. But I aint touching no balls of his. Ewwww........Lets leave that to the mechanical vice grip in the CIA interrogation room, shall we?

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on March 29, 2005 01:58 AM

As the Rantburg folks pointed out, this surely means "surrounded" in the Saudi sense.

Posted by: someone on March 29, 2005 02:01 AM

Rightwingsparkle

Why bother with all the fancy apparatus to get Zarkawi to talk? I have always thought the "shampoo" method of interrogation (used by police departments from NY to LA) to be the best, or at least the simplest. Just stick bad guy's head in a dirty toilet repeatedly and let him decide how much shit and urine he is willing to swallow and inhale before he talks, and talk he will. It is fast, easy, convient and (outside of a dump) requires no special preparation. In an imaginitive treatment, the NYPD added the baton-up-the-rectum move to enchance the effect and speed up the process. The shampoo method is quick and easy, convienent and (outside of a dump) requires no special preparation.

Posted by: 72VIRGINS on March 29, 2005 02:01 PM
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