Saturday Night Club ONT - June 27, 2026 [D&D]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. We built this place for you so you can have some fun. Come in in, grab a drink or 3. Keep it light and friendly. Jerks need not enter the premises (the moose out front is keeping track and you do NOT want to disappoint the moose).

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

Four Catholic Men and a Catholic Woman Were Having Coffee in St. Peter's Square...

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room, everyone says, 'Your Eminence'".

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room, people call him, 'Your Holiness'".

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men gave her a subtle, "Well..."?

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D - 24 - 36.

When she walks into a room, people say, "Jeeeeeeeeeesssssssuuussss!"

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Two men and a woman are going to hitman school...

Their teacher takes one of the men out into the hallway, points at a door and says, "In this room, we have your wife. Here's a loaded pistol, go in and kill her."

The guy says, "OK." He goes into the room and comes out a few minutes later. He says, "I love her, I can't do it."

The teacher says, "You don't have what it takes to be a hitman, get out of here."

The teacher then does the same thing with the other guy, with the same result.

He then takes the woman out into the hallway, points at a door and says, "In this room, we have your husband. Here's a loaded pistol, go in and kill him."

She goes into the room, and he hears a gunshot, and then all hell breaks loose. There's yelling and screaming plus furniture being broken. After about 15 minutes of this, the woman comes out looking dishevelled and says, "Why the hell did you put blanks in the gun? I had to beat the son-of-a-bitch to death."

Drink of the Night

The 2026 World Cup is well underway. And as luck would have it, a new "official"?? (probably not) cocktail has come about!

Buchanan’s Whisky debuts a simple, refreshing cocktail for the 2026 FIFA World Cup

The Buchanita cocktail mixes Scotch with pineapple juice. (We’ll wait while our Scottish ancestors roll over in their graves.) But don’t mind them—Scotch doesn’t need to be fussy or only consumed neat in a Glencairn glass beside a pipette of water. That’s especially true when you’re dealing with an easygoing blended Scotch like Buchanan’s 12-Year. The 80-proof whisky has a light profile that’s full of orange, honey and mild chocolate, and it mixes well with fruit juices like citrus and pineapple. You can score the refreshing drink at stadium concessions, bars and fan zones throughout the World Cup, or make it yourself for at-home watch parties.

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How to make the Buchanita cocktail

No one wants to play mixologist at their World Cup watch party. So stock a cooler with beer, then grab a bottle of Buchanan’s 12 and some fresh pineapple juice, and you’ve got everything you need to watch soccer for the next five weeks.

Ingredients:
1.5 oz Buchanan’s 12 Year DeLuxe Blended Scotch Whisky
5 oz fresh pineapple juice
pineapple leaf for garnish

Combine Buchanan’s whisky and fresh pineapple juice in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well. Strain into a lowball glass over fresh ice, and garnish with a pineapple leaf.

Club ONT Department of International Relations

*Club ONT management is not responsible for sleepover shenanigans

Club ONT Department of Cinema Milestones

Mel Brooks turns 100 on Sunday, June 28. In his honor:

Club ONT Summer Shopping Guide

Club ONT Department of Full Service Health Care

Please make sure to be clear to the Club ONT technician which specific problem ails you. Otherwise they'll guess...and they may not guess correctly.

Club ONT Department of Music

Note: this is not asking about your favorite song, but a song you could listen to 100 times. Those may be different. This is also not a song that you would wish on others, so no "Baby Shark for my neighbor" responses.

Club ONT Jukebox

Club regular "tankdemon" has taken over the jukebox tonight. As today is the 27th of the month, he's featuring members of The 27 Club

Who was the first member of this club?

Robert Johnson died in 1938, and the cause of death is as mysterious as much of his life. The official death certificate attributes it to complications from syphilis, but many of his friends and contemporaries say it was murder — whiskey laced with strychnine, courtesy of a jealous husband of one of Johnson’s lovers. He was set to play Carnegie Hall just a few months later, but instead he was laid to rest in an unmarked grave.

Robert Johnson was the first, but unfortunately not the last, important musician to pass away at 27, becoming the founder of a club no one wants to join — and one that has captured the popular imagination for decades.

Many thanks to tankdemon for being on time with the tunes tonight!

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Contrary to rumor, the Triscuits have been re-stocked. Repeat - the Triscuits have been restocked. Please form an orderly line for Triscuit distribution. There is enough for everybody. Truscuits are part of a whelming experience at Club ONT, so enjoy.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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