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March 11, 2005
Freedom's Century: Thank Bin Ladin, TooOh, he didn't mean to help "end tyranny," as Bush vowed in his second inaugural. But he does seem to have forgotten about the Law of Unintended Consequences (he's not big on laws, generally; he also seems to have forgotten the Law Against Mass-Murdering Innocent Civilians and the Law Against Fucking Around With Uncle Sam). The Unpopulist quotes an article essentially thanking bin Ladin for his role in making the world a better place. Unpopulist disagrees strongly with the premise. But I think there is some truth to it. I think bin Ladin's mass-murder actually has helped -- despite his intent -- to undo the very movement he hoped to advance. And I hope that stings. Perhaps it's better this bastard is still alive, at the moment. Perhaps justice is best served by letting him see the unintended consequences of his bloody savagery, and let him watch all his dreams die... ...before a US soldier drills a high-caliber round through his brainbox. posted by Ace at 03:08 PM
CommentsActually, Ace, you might want to re-think that "high-caliber round through the brainbox" bit. After all, if there's karmic justice in knowing that BL is sitting in his cave watching his plans for world dominion going down the toilet, it would be karma cubed to have him spending the rest of his natural life (decades worth) in an 8x10 cell listening to that interminable flushing sound being played over and over and over ..... Posted by: Doug on March 11, 2005 03:33 PM
You may say that I'm a dreamer... Posted by: Brian B on March 11, 2005 03:50 PM
"Brainbox"? You're aiming about three feet too high there. Posted by: See-dub on March 11, 2005 04:24 PM
I would prefer to use a Claymore myself. Something about 300 steel ball bearings powered by 2lbs of C-4 does that to me. Posted by: Fersboo on March 11, 2005 05:21 PM
Actually, it would be even better for him to end his life choked to death by some pissed off Middle Eastern woman who just came from voting in a democratic government for her country. Posted by: Devin L. Ganger on March 11, 2005 06:12 PM
On the one hand, I agree with Doug. On the other, unless we can invent a punishment that forces UBL to experience every moment of fear, horror, sadness, loss, anger, despair, and pain that each and every one of his victims ever suffere, NO punishment will be as bad as he deserves, so we might as well just save ourselves the trouble and introduce him to Mr. BMG Round. Posted by: Brian B on March 11, 2005 06:31 PM
I agree that UBL unleashed the greatest force for freedom the Middle East has ever seen. Neo-Isolationist President George Bush became Global Crusader for Freedom President George Bush only because UBL bit off way more than he could chew. UBL brought US onto himself and his little jihadi followers. He needs to share a cell with Saddam. Posted by: Mark on March 11, 2005 07:18 PM
You guys are sadly lacking in imagination. Here's the scene: Binny knows he's surrounded, but he's gonna make one last stand, and take a few Americans with him. He's at a window, watching, watching, his AK-47 at his side. He hears a rustling behind him. He turns, and sees dozens of insect-like creatures in the room. They look a little like cockroaches, but their skin is metal and their brains are silicon. Their eyes are LED sensors glowing dull red in the dark. They are each armed with a tiny rocket-like weapon, and they're all aimed at him. They are wirelessly controlled by a satellite, that in turn is hooked up to.... In the basement room of a non-descript Army base in Florida, a young black woman sits hunched behind a computer monitor. Her eyes widen, and a broad smile breaks across her face. She gives her robots the signal to fire.... Posted by: Carl O. Witz on March 11, 2005 07:32 PM
"They look a little like cockroaches" How about puppies? Could they look like puppies? Posted by: BrewFan on March 11, 2005 10:02 PM
"She gives the robots the signal to fire..." continued... And shrieks with delight as her dice rolls up a Natural 20! "Osama, you miserable half-Orc, that's a critical hit. Ain't no saving throw on earth that's gonna save you now!" End scene. See what fun the IDF is missing out on? Posted by: Jack M. on March 11, 2005 10:37 PM
Apparently, some Muslims are getting fed up w/ OBL as well. Some imams in Spain just issued a fatwa against him. FWIW, I don't think we can kill him painfully enough or slowly enough to satisfy -- well, basically almost everybody's -- lust for revenge. I think maybe the best punishment for him is what he has right now -- a dwindling circle of friends, impotent, and obscure. Posted by: tdothen on March 11, 2005 11:08 PM
My own personal vision of the death of Mr. Bin Laden always involved a couple of cinder blocks, a few yards of logging chain, and the waste lagoon at an industrial hog farm Posted by: DaveP. on March 12, 2005 10:26 AM
I think he's right on the money. It's much the same way Hitler brought Western Europe together after WW II, or how Stalin gifted the world with NATO. I suppose it is interesting that all of these epochal Western doctrines that each so greatly shaped the world were reactions to great evil. Posted by: TallDave on March 12, 2005 11:49 PM
No, no, no. You guys have it all wrong! The best way for him to die for Dubya to give him a quick peck goodbye, then slowly choke him with an american flag handkercheif, while softly singly the hymn "All Things Bright and Beautiful" Posted by: Amy on March 13, 2005 10:35 PM
Just imagine if Clinton would have been still president. They will learn to only attack during liberal slack jawed white houses. Posted by: GregS on March 14, 2005 12:32 PM
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What is the UK Regime's plan for protecting the citizens from the savage criminals they've foisted on the populace? They offer NONE. They do, however, have a plan for protecting the savage criminals from the citizens: The citizens must STAY CALM and not get angry and not share videos of citizens being attacked by savage criminals. The public keeps saying "protect us from the foreign savages you have imported against our wishes and over our objections" and the UK branch of The Regime keeps proposing plans to protect the foreign savages from the public. Soclose to what the public is demanding, just, you know, the complete opposite. Just a thought: Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the public attacking the savage criminals if you actually introduced a plan to protect the public from the savage criminals. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if it was necessary for them to protect the public through self-help.
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