Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« Indonesia: Foreign Troops Go Home | Main | Liberal "Rush Limbaugh" Took Armstrong Williams Style Payoff »
January 12, 2005

"The Hallway" ("The Corner" Parody)

Man, I've been wanting to do a Corner parody for-ev-er. Always was on the "things to do" pile, though; never made it to the "doing it now" pile.

Wuzza Dem beats me to the punch with his own parody.

BREAKFAST [Wuzz]
Had oatmeal this morning, used milk instead of water. Makes it a little more creamy, and, I suspect, more nutritional. Posted at 10:29 AM

RE: BREAKFAST [JFW]
Pop-Tarts for me - and don't you mean "nutritious?"
Posted at 10:32 AM

BAD MORNING [John]
Damn! I buy brand new pair of shoes with a deep, waffle-style sole, and the first time I walk out of the house with them on my feet, I step right into a huge pile of dog crap.
Posted at 10:35 AM

RE: BAD MORNING [JFW]
Hey, do you mind? We're talking about breakfast.
Posted at 10:37 AM

JUST GOT WORSE [John]
Well, turns out that *stepping* in the huge pile of dog crap wasn't the worst part. I ended up having to use my toothbrush to clean my shoe, probably have to buy a new toothbrush now.
Posted at 10:39 AM

RE: RE: BAD MORNING [John]
JFW, just read your post from 10:37 - actually this happened right *after* breakfast, so I was on topic.
Posted at 10:40 AM

RE: JUST GOT WORSE [Wuzz]
What do you mean *probably* have to buy a new toothbrush?
Posted at 10:42 AM

LAZY READERS [John]
Just got this e-mail from a reader:

What do you mean *probably* have to buy a new toothbrush?

Here's my response:

I suggest you re-read my post. If you do you'll see that I had just used that toothbrush for something pretty unsanitary.

Posted at 10:43 AM

RE: LAZY READERS [Wuzz]
John, I think he was questioning your use of the word "probably".
Posted at 10:46 AM

RE: RE: LAZY READERS [John]

Right. Sorry, my bad. Just sent this e-mail to him:

Sorry, my bad.

Posted at 10:48 AM

Good stuff. Read the whole thing.

Points subtracted for no mentions of Marmite, crunchy-cons, Star Trek, "immanentizing the Eschaton," or Cosmo the Wonder Dog.*

* Corrected: I said "immanualizing the Eschatology," whatever the hell that could mean (if anything). Thanks to my commenters for riding me hard like Vinny Falcone.


posted by Ace at 08:55 PM
Comments



Ace,

Thanks for the link, and for the constructive criticism. Bill from InDC also dinged me for not having anyone refer to themselves in the third person.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on January 12, 2005 09:10 PM

That was nicely done. I especially liked the response to " Can you link to my blog?"

Though I must admit the Corner has gotten better about that as time goes on.

Posted by: Kathy K on January 12, 2005 09:10 PM

Dear Ace,


You're just a Manilla whore shaking your ass and waiting for the Republican fleet to come in, aren't you? You've even got the lip gloss about right. Maybe if you love sailor long time, he bring you home to big American house? I don't think so. Just like in Manilla, Honey, they'll pass you around 'til they've all shot their load in you, and then they'll try to scrub off the stench so they can sail off in their crisp, white uniforms to the land of W.A.S.P.

yours truly,
Atomic Amish

Posted by: amish on January 12, 2005 09:54 PM

Hah... that's a good premise. I might publish some of my hate-mail, which deems me a sell-out to the white race.

Posted by: ace on January 12, 2005 10:09 PM

WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?

I DON'T GET IT.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on January 12, 2005 11:11 PM

NO

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on January 12, 2005 11:26 PM

John,

It really wasn't criticism, constructive or otherwise. It was 1, Joshing, and 2, how I would have done it, and 3, expressing my own annoyances at the sometimes too-cute banter in the corner.

You went in a different way, where you weren't parodizing the Corner per se, but having your own "corner" made up, it seems, of various incarnations of yourself. So it's just a different take.

Good stuff. No criticism intended at all. Keep it up.

Posted by: ace on January 12, 2005 11:29 PM

i liked it.

Posted by: amish on January 12, 2005 11:33 PM

Pretty good. Needed Cosmo, math problems, and baseball. I liked it, though.

Posted by: Blackjack on January 12, 2005 11:59 PM

This is supposed to be a parody of The Corner? Huh?

Posted by: CraigC on January 13, 2005 01:27 AM

Ace, if you're talking about "immanualizing the eschatology", as a theological/political issue, you probably mean "immanentizing the Eschaton".

And yes, I know I need to get out more.

Posted by: SparcVark on January 13, 2005 09:15 AM

Tim Cavanaugh at Reason did a parody of the Corner shortly after it came out. A bit more brutal.

Posted by: JohnL on January 13, 2005 10:28 AM

Needs some arcane math posts, and maybe a couch reference....it's well done, though

Posted by: johnnyh on January 13, 2005 11:04 AM

Ace,

I know you were kidding, so was I. No offense taken. You are correct, this is not really a parody of The Corner, so much as using that format for a piece. The "Corner Parody" was just a line I was using in my link-whoring efforts - always use descriptive (and, if necessary, deceptive) subject lines to grab the reader's attention! Thanks again.

Dave - I lied, the answer is yes.

CraigC - see above.

Kathy, Blackjack, Amish, and Johnny - Thanks!

Doug - I don't care if you think my site's a piece of crap...oh, sorry, that comment's for a different blog.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on January 13, 2005 12:20 PM

SparcVark is right, it is "immanentizing the Eschaton."

There's a lot of loose shit going on here.


Posted by: Alex on January 13, 2005 12:51 PM

very well done! the only think missing is that JFW needs to "SIGH" every other post in exasperation at the fact that those damn liberals are still running around uncaged and actually not supporting W. Also, needs to "god bless" people a lot a la Tiny Tim.

Posted by: on January 13, 2005 01:59 PM

Ace and John,

LOL!

I think "The Hallway" is hilarious!

RE: RE: LAZY READERS [John]

Right. Sorry, my bad. Just sent this e-mail to him:

Sorry, my bad.

Perfect.

Posted by: MeTooThen on January 13, 2005 04:16 PM

I thought "immanualizing the Eschatology" was, like, a joke. A deliberate malapropism. Well, you could always say "I meant to do that!"

Posted by: Pixy Misa on January 14, 2005 01:21 AM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope!
Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit.
Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?)
I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more!
Via Archimedes:
Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter

Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

More at this ineffable link
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it:
Athletic (boogie down)
Hustle (turn back)
Feel pathetic (sugar town)
No muscle (soul hack)
I'm jumping (you move)
No dancer (beside me)
I'm thumping (you prove)
Don't get no answer
On "Professor" Arday:
He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple.
-- Krebs v Carnot
Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products
Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: More Iran bluster from Trump? Enough! Deportations hit a record, and that is a good thing for all, Todd Blanche's nomination is out of committee, the DSA is on the march, and more!
The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes
Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the Berlin attack, Iran...Again! Sefton's mini Odyssey review, Data Republican's blockbuster reveal about the DNC, and more!
Recent Comments
whig: "225 Player greed will kill MLB next year" Fan/k ..."

LinusVanPelt: "I’m late to this thread but I have to say (s ..."

Our Country is Screwed: "240 I don't want to meet cougars, especially ones ..."

Diogenes: "Sems to me the system worked quite well. ..."

man: "Just finished a 3 1/2 mile walk in 73% humidity. " ..."

Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway: "There were no black members of the jury... Good ..."

Barack Obama zipping up his pants: "[i]Gays are having a hard time getting black votes ..."

garrett: "Len Bias? ..."

Archimedes: "I'll come in again. ..."

huerfano: "Worthless turd. ..."

18-1: "One thing to ponder... Karmelo got $600K for mu ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "Just when you thought it was safe to go into the p ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives