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January 04, 2005
Gob-Smackingly Vile: Teri Hatcher Hasn't Had Sex In Four YearsHell, even I've got that beat. In related news about senseless underutilization of crucial natural resources, I still haven't gotten a book-deal, nor appeared on Paula Zahn. posted by Ace at 06:33 PM
CommentsIn the interests of charitable goodwill, I hereby volunteer to remedy this tragedy. Though, let's be honest, which direction the charity will be traveling is debatable. Posted by: Alex on January 4, 2005 06:46 PM
We are supposed to care about this why? Posted by: Andrea Harris on January 4, 2005 07:22 PM
Ace, let's be honest. Sex with yourself doesn't count. Just trying to keep it real. You slice like a f'ing great maul of thunder. Posted by: midaz on January 4, 2005 07:32 PM
Andrea, I'm with YOU on that. Then again, that is probably a record for Hollywood Sluts. And Alex, just make sure you remove the sheets from the bed first. If they get even a little crumpled, you'll lose Teri's scrawny tail until morning. Later, Posted by: bbeck on January 4, 2005 08:20 PM
I blame George Bush Posted by: Moonbat_One on January 4, 2005 08:22 PM
I question the timing. Posted by: ace on January 4, 2005 08:26 PM
I salute her for not subjecting her kid to the horror of temporary daddies. Posted by: lauraw on January 4, 2005 08:54 PM
Uh, hate to point this out but teh fact that she hasn't had sex isn't the story. That she said she "doesn't have space for it," now THAT concerns me. Just exactly what is she revealing here? Posted by: Dan on January 4, 2005 09:07 PM
Ace, No one should believe this or any other nonesense that is "revealed" by so-called celebrities. Last year, I dated a women in LA. You know the type, actress/model/photographer/dancer. Spending time with her in LA/Hollywood, I grew to love her and hate all that surrounds celebrity and its disgusting culture. Much, if not most, of what one reads reagrding these people are intentional lies put out by their own publicists! And no Andrea, I don't care and neither should you. Unless that's your thing. Posted by: MeTooThen on January 4, 2005 09:44 PM
Yeah, but I'll bet she's been through PACKS and PACKS of batteries... Oh, wait, she's probably environmentally conscious, so make that two packs- one in the charger and the other in the B.O.B. Posted by: Rick on January 4, 2005 10:16 PM
This made me indescribably sad. Until I read the publicists post. Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 4, 2005 10:48 PM
Email me for Zahn's contact info. I can probably get you on her show if it means that much to you. But first: Do you have any exotic animals you can show off? Posted by: Jeff G on January 5, 2005 12:04 AM
Hell, even I've got that beat. I'll bet you do. I'll bet you do. Posted by: ACS on January 5, 2005 12:29 AM
I could have sworn she was married to Howie Long. Posted by: Eric Anderson on January 5, 2005 01:06 AM
Jeff G: What, this isn't exotic enough animal for ya? Posted by: someone on January 5, 2005 02:02 AM
I could have sworn she was married to Howie Long. Heh, I remember Howie Long telling a story on a talk show (it may have been on Conan, but I'm not sure) about attending a football game (again, my memory is sketchy, but I think it was a High School football game) with his wife. Some rubes came up to him, asking where his wife was. When he told them that the lady with him was his wife, they explained that they thought that the woman from the Radio Shack commercials was his "kin." But I hear Vanessa Williams and Ving Rhames are very happy together. Posted by: Sean M. on January 5, 2005 05:09 AM
People...the story appeared in 'The Sun'. Posted by: MAD on January 5, 2005 08:33 AM
Put me in Coach! I'll make one of us very happy! Like a loose shutter in a hurricane.
Posted by: Greg on January 5, 2005 10:05 AM
Never believe a woman who says she hasn't had sex. Especially not when she says it in public. There's always a lot of "well THAT doesn't count as sex" she's not telling you about. Posted by: TallDave on January 5, 2005 10:35 AM
****Breaking News**** Ace, I personally took care of this situation. You may now title your post "Teri Hatcher Hasn't Had Sex in 4 HOURS". I'm an unimpeachable source, after all. -30- Posted by: senator philabuster on January 5, 2005 10:27 PM
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A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR. Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him. LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR. Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too. LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others. But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring: "But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said." In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power." I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron. Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring. I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do. But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]
Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."
Batman fires The Batman
Batman is disgusted by the Joachim Phoenix version of Joker Batman tries to fire Superman Batman is still workshopping his Bat-Voice
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please I'm even on knees Makin' love to whoever I please I gotta do it my way Or no way at all
Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter One day I'm gonna get that faculty together Remember that everybody has to wait in line Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine
US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.
Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies
“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”
Canadian School Designates Cafeteria And Lunchroom As "No Food Zones" For Ramadan
Canada and the UK are neck and neck in the race to become the first western country to fall to Islam [CBD] [A]n asshole is somebody who looks at a painting of two toddlers doing something totally normal for toddlers and decides that it represents homosexuality and then thinks that publicly saying that is somehow edgy and clever. Instead it is doing what we accuse the Left of, that is sexualizing young children. If that describes you, own it.Muldoon Recent Comments
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