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« Update on Schumer-Singer Smackdown | Main | Top-Ten Best of Ace, #10: "You're Fired!" »
December 30, 2004

Best of a Year of Ace: Runners Up

Before I get into the Top Ten, let me mention a few honorable mentions.

This post is still one of my favorites, because it both makes fun of an easy, soft target -- Joshua Micah Mellencamp Marshall -- and because it's the first appearance of Geoffrey the Duck, who appears in the "Never Waste a Good Premise" update. In fact, that's really the part of the post that's worth reading.

In the funny and true department, this post, "Andrew Sullivan: I Only Watch PBS," explores liberals' kneejerk insistence that they almost never watch TV, and yet seem to do little but natter on about Sex & the City constantly. Andrew slams Ann Coulter for saying "everyone should watch more TV," and I slam him back. Idiot.

This is a love-it-or-hate-it post. I love it. a Special Guest Editorial from Rich "Psycho" Giamboni, titled If You Touch My Hoagie One More Time, I Will Fucking Kill You.

I always meant to do more with Psycho. I wanted to do a Vote For Bush Or I Will Key Your Fucking Camaro piece, but it just seemed to be the same thing all over again. Oh, well. One-trick pony.

My favorite Michael Moore hit-piece: Michael Moore Goes on a Mid-Manhattan Lunchtime Death-Spree.

And my second favorite: The Case of the Missing WMD's: A Michael Moore Mystery (TM).

I've attacked Wonkette a lot, pretty much because she's overrated, overexposed, and underfunny. Here Wonkette announces her new "Morning Zoo" format.

Here Nick Denton attempts to launch a Muslim-friendly Wonkette-style gossip site, titled Jihadette, with tragic results.

For a while -- maybe she still does it; I don't read her -- Wonkette did little but traffic in gay rumors. So I decided to compete with her -- as "Wankette" -- and start trafficking in my own gay rumors du jour.

And my favorite Wonkette hit-piece -- a verbatim transcript of her first and only appearance at Open Mike Night at the Dupont Circle Laff-Shack. It's like the birth of a young, somewhat-attractive faux-mo Lenny Bruce.

And, just to show that I'm not obsessed with Wonkette (although, I guess, I really am), here's an aperitif, a wholly gratuitous attack on Michael Totten, the only independent in America with the balls to tell you how superior he is for not being a member of a political party.


Well, that's enough for now. More as the day goes on.

Update: Eh, this one's okay, too. Playing off a real story that the intelligence community was eyeing blogs for fast-breaking information, I got hold of a CIA memo digesting what had been recently learned from Wonkette, Instapundit, Oliver Willis, and Drudge.


posted by Ace at 01:07 PM
Comments



How did I miss the duck the first time around? Goddamn, that's funny.

Posted by: jamie r. on December 30, 2004 01:20 PM

My favorite is down there in your Greatest Hitjobs ... the sex-for-money post. That one made me laugh so hard I hurt.

Posted by: Carin on December 30, 2004 01:46 PM

Yeah, I think that's coming in in the top three.

I'm trying to keep it a mystery. You know, like you're never sure if a classic-rock station's top 100 weekend is going to end with Stairway to Heaven.

I mean, I'm always on pins and needles wondering if, for the billionth time, Stairway to Heaven is going to be Number One.

I'm keeping you in a similar state of anticipation.

Posted by: ace on December 30, 2004 01:49 PM

Geoffrey the Duck was always my favorite. But it's kind of difficult to keep working him into the commentary I guess.

Posted by: Smack on December 30, 2004 01:59 PM

Yeah, he was my favorite, too, although there's not a lot to do with him.

He was slightly more versatile than Johnny Coldcuts, who wasn't a one-trick pony so much as a no-trick pony. Although Senator Pundit LOVES him-- but I think it's mainly because of that awesome picture of him (which I had nothing to do with, of course).

Posted by: ace on December 30, 2004 02:04 PM

Wait a sec... Does this mean you're leaving some of your D&D posts out of the top 10?

Posted by: someone on December 30, 2004 02:05 PM

Ummm, yeah, a lot of them. I only think the big D&D piece is going to be in the top ten.

What other ones are you thinking of? I can't think of any off the top of my head except "Lightning bolt, lightning bolt!"

Posted by: ace on December 30, 2004 02:10 PM

A bunch more here , including some classic comment threads.

Posted by: someone on December 30, 2004 02:53 PM
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Top Headlines
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
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