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December 27, 2004

Keith Olbermann: Still Douching It Up Over Ohio

Keith Olbermann, MSNBC anchordouche.

Maybe this is all part of that Olbermann deadpan "humor" that no one is talking about.

But I don't know. The guy actually seems, um, serious about this. I keep waiting for him to say "You been Punk'd!," but he never does.

I could link to Olbermann's site, but that would give him traffic, and I won't do that. Instead, I'll link to Free Republic's link of his musings.

There has been “very serious” contact among the staffs of leading Democrats in both houses about the implications of the challenge, according to a congressional figure privy to that contact. He estimates for us that the chance of a Senator actually signing on has — in the last week — risen from almost nothing, to upwards of one third.
And there is still that coda from Hoffheimer’s statement. By itself, it is the thrown gauntlet, and yet it is produced at a time when gauntlets are pretty much symbolic protests. Unless, perhaps, that is the strategy here. The Ohio election was undeniably full of holes, but barring developments unforeseen, the collective verified hole is not likely to be big enough to drive a truck carrying 10,000 uncounted votes through it.

I'm glad that the MSM doesn't traffic in silly thinly-evidenced conspiracy theories the way that we bloggers do.

Frankly, I wouldn't want the competition. Keith Olbermann is obviously a force to be reckoned with.

Or at least I assume he is. I don't watch him, and in fact almost nobody else does either, but I have to imagine that if people were watching him -- which, like I said, they're not -- they'd be just mesmerized by his courageous reportage.

He's also got a very complicated comedic schtick going on, of course. He says things in a deadpan way, in order to make you think he's not being funny, but the thing is, he's actually not funny, inverting the typical use of the deadpan, which, I imagine, is very funny indeed in some hypercomplex French fashion.

posted by Ace at 02:21 PM

Comments

Given his concerns over Ohio and Florida, I'm sure Olberman will start reporting on the voting problems in the Washington Governor's race... especially the continual discovery of uncounted votes in heavily democrat King County that tipped the re-recount in Democrat candidate Gregoire's favor (overturning the first 2 counts where Republican Rossi won).

Posted by: SeattleJohn on December 27, 2004 03:12 PM

I was going to write something about Olbermann on my blog, but I don't think I could do better than saying he's "douching" it up. Gads, that's funny.

The guy is a terrible reporter and obviously a stupid, stupid man.

I hope he keeps this up for months. I fully expect to see, on January 20, Olbermann talking about how there's still a chance enough votes for Kerry could be found in the next Ohio recount.

Posted by: Slubgob on December 27, 2004 04:46 PM

If he was a member of the local media in the Northwest, he would be reporting on that......just like everybody in the NW IS reporting on that subject right now.

The OH baloney Olberman is reporting on is national "news"

Its too bad there weren't any mainstreem media folks on top of the 2000 FL fiasco because more people would have learned that Gore gained more votes than Bush inthe recount.

Posted by: Ryan on December 27, 2004 04:48 PM

How dare you insult douches by grouping them with Olberman? Olberman is a degenerate subhuman. Please get your terminology correct!

Posted by: Greg Schreiber on December 27, 2004 05:04 PM

Once again, for those who missed it the first time:

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/florida.ballots/stories/main.html

Ryan, you're full of shit.

Posted by: Deji Pachi on December 27, 2004 05:45 PM

Thanks Ryan... but, Olberman is not a member of the Ohio media or Florida media either and he covers their alleged voting "problems" non-stop (also, I believe the Washington's Governor's race has gotten just as much national press for being close as the Ohio race did... in other words, it could and should be considered a national story too).

In addition, while the recount (and re-recount) story is being covered a lot by the northwest media, the story of voting irregularities is all but being ignored. The only in depth coverage I've seen is on the Internet or on local radio.

Posted by: SeattleJohn on December 27, 2004 08:10 PM

I won't bore you with the millions of local news stories detailing how Gore would have won any full recount. They are there. If you care to learn the truth I am sure you are smart enough to find it. After all, you are smart enough to call me names.

Posted by: Ryan on December 28, 2004 09:46 AM

Put up or shut up time, Ryan. Bore us with the facts or get the hell out.

Posted by: Mr. Bowen on December 28, 2004 11:46 AM

Its in every major source article you find: Washington Post, CNN, USA Today.....read the article linked by the reader above. Or read this one:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A12623-2001Nov11.html

" if Gore had found a way to trigger a statewide recount of all disputed ballots, or if the courts had required it, the result likely would have been different. An examination of uncounted ballots throughout Florida found enough where voter intent was clear to give Gore the narrowest of margins."

If you don't want to get a username and password for the WP, read this article, it says basically the same thing:

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/florida.ballots/stories/main.html

I am not full of shit as Deji Pachi so profoundly describes me, and I am not trying to debate the outcome of the 2000 election. This entire thing started when I defended Olberman for reporting something THAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

Posted by: Ryan on December 28, 2004 01:04 PM

From the story I linked earlier, which you obviously didn't bother to read:

"Suppose that Gore got what he originally wanted -- a hand recount in heavily Democratic Broward, Palm Beach, Miami-Dade and Volusia counties. The study indicates that Gore would have picked up some additional support but still would have lost the election -- by a 225-vote margin statewide."

I reiterate: you're full of shit. Furthermore you have very thin skin.

Posted by: Deji Pachi on December 28, 2004 03:50 PM

Yes, I read the entire article.

You misunderstand the article you reference. Or you are just selecting a section that you think proves your point.
Gore, and the Gore camp, were only requesting a recount in those specific counties. And as the article correctly states, he would not have won the election based on a recount in those counties alone. If you read the portion of the article I highlighted you will see that the author states:
" if Gore had found a way to trigger a statewide recount of all disputed ballots, or if the courts had required it, the result likely would have been different. An examination of uncounted ballots throughout Florida found enough where voter intent was clear to give Gore the narrowest of margins."

If he found a way to trigger a STATEWIDE recount and not just a recount in those 4 counties he specified HE WOULD HAVE WON. Read it. Its there. Thank you, goodnight

Posted by: Ryan on December 29, 2004 10:06 AM

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He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.

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Good rickroll

What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.

A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.

The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.

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Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)

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[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]