Saturday Night Club ONT - May 9, 2026 [D & D]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. Come in in, grab a drink or 3.

Did you remember a gift for Mom? Does the top photo give you some inspiration?

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute. He says, "How much for a hand job?" She says it's $250. He says, "$250 for a lousy hand job? That’s crazy!" She says, "Honey, follow me," and takes him outside.

"See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give the best in the world." So he tries it, and it's great. A week later he's horny again. He goes back to the bar and asks her about a BJ.

She says it's $500. He thinks that's too much. She says, "Honey, come out back. See that mansion up on the hill? I bought that mansion with money from BJs. I do it the best." So he takes her up on it, and it's amazing. He's drained for a month.

Now obsessed, he goes back. Desperately he says, "I gotta know, how much for the coochie?" "Oh honey," she says, "If I had one of those, I'd own this town."

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Elderly couple in church.

Wife turns to Husband suddenly during the service, leans close to his ear and says "I've just done a silent fart. What should I do?"

Husband says "Put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

Drink of the Night

Tonight we drew the 6 of spades from our deck of playing card cocktails.

Beware of brain freeze!

Club ONT Department of Stopping to Smell the Flowers

Photo credit: Dick van Duijn

Club ONT Department of Music History

Philips and Sony collaborated on the size of the compact disc in the late 1970s to create a single standard and avoid a format war (like VHS v. Betamax). Philips made an early prototype in 1979 which was an 11.5 cm disc that held about 60 minutes of audio. Sony initially favored a smaller 10 cm disc but Sony president Norio Ohga pushed for more capacity. Specifically, the goal was a disc that could fit Beethoven's Symphony No. 9.

They settled on a 12 cm diameter disc which was precisely enough to fit the longest known recording at the time (a 1951 version at about 74 minutes).

The size of the hole in a compact disc was determined when Joop Sinjou, the head of Philops audio products development in the Netherlands, put a Dutch 10 cent coin (known as a dubbeltje) on the table during a standardization meeting. The coin created a hole of exactly 15 mm.

Now you know...

Club ONT Endorsed 80s Re-boot

Club ONT Department of Hallucinations

Club ONT Crime Blotter

Boston bakery pleads for return of giant ice cream cone mascot

The co-owner of a Boston bakery is offering baked goods as a reward for the safe return of the eatery's "mascot," a large plastic ice cream cone named Swirly.

Swirly, a fixture outside of Flour Bakery on the Boston Common, was initially feared to have blown away during the winter, but co-owner Joanne Chang said she now has good reason to believe the mascot is still nearby.

"He was possibly spotted in a nearby dorm window looking down longingly at home and we have reason to believe he may be confused about where he is," Chang wrote on social media.

She said all the bakery wants is Swirly's safe return.

"To anyone who is temporarily sheltering him: thank you for protecting him this winter, please return him safely, no questions asked, in exchange for baked goods and our eternal gratitude," Chang wrote.

O Swirly, Swirly where art thou? Deny thy temporary dormitory dwelling and return home. Break free from the shackles of communal living. If for nothing else, think of the sprinkles that you once called compatriots.

The Club ONT Magical Jukebox

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Club ONT is brought to you tonight by the hot v crazy matrix:

The Club ONT lost and found still has several frilly hats left behind from Derby day last week. And lots of other stuff. Some unidentifiable. Some unmentionable. Please stop by and grab what's yours (or pick up a nice gift for Mom)!

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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